Submitted by: arcadence
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« Previous Some Apples DO Fall Far from the Tree | Some People Never Learn Next »
« Previous Some Apples DO Fall Far from the Tree | Some People Never Learn Next »
Submitted by: arcadence
Obi-Wan died after Hans solo put his finger in Wan’s butt hole then made him smell his finger.
You could say…
*puts blast-shield down over eyes*
…he Forced him to.
YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
*Like*
IMPOSTER!!!!
The Imposter Strikes Back
No, you.
No, YOU!!!
Wait, what?
^
T
H
I
S
T
H
E
M
V
^This
That ^^^
And the over V
I
S
S
P
A
R
T
A
!
Go away.
come again some other day
awww yeah, puddin’ pop!
Hello with the pudding.
Who smelled first: Han or Obi?
Whoever is a gay American…
they may have used the Force, but i think this is a farce.
Into my butt I stuck a fork and then I had to fart.
R.I.P. my beloved foreign policy adviser. D’:
You are so turning me on…..
GAY SEX! YAY!
Best kind there is!!
*they’re
surprise butt s%^
No surprise. Obi saw it coming because he can see the future…………………..
Everyone saw it coming; this is Monkey Face we’re talking about.
Hi im (something that allegedly justifies ignorance) and what is this?
Why, this is the magical world of Failblog, my friend.
because robots.
You don’t have to say that every time you see the word “why”
b e c a u s e r o b o t s .
really, robots? why?
Because supremacy over the human race.
I get so tired of hearing that word. Girls just yell it in my ear constantly.
what, “allegedly?”
No… NOT THE A WORD!
Han smelled first!
Hi I’m
thecoolone3!
uhmmm lol wut?
Yes? What do you want?
NACHOS
Only $3.95 from your local McDonalds!
*T-Bell
They don’t have Taco Bell in Australia, so my local T-Bell is in America! That means I have to fly around the world for delicious Nachos with bleach. Boohoo.
no taco bell?! that almost makes you a third world country. well, maybe…don’t take my word for it. i live in the U.S.of A., where most of the country consists of fatties and the economy is in the crapper.
what the bi-polar bear said……………………….(is it true that you are truly at both the north and south pole at the same time?)
i commute back and forth, depending on my mood…
it’s a conspiracy, the economy is only in the crapper to force fatties onto a diet, when they become sticks it’ll rebound.
We don’t have Taco Bell in Britain either, but we do have supermarkets which sell both bleach and the ingredients for nachos, with full cooking instructions. Any time I feel like nachos with bleach I just pop to the shops.
NOOO SOOO CLOOOOSE!
Yet so far, far away…
FAILBOOK WARS
Episode MCCCXCII
It is a period of reduced lulz. gnAtch, striking from a hidden base, failed to win their fírst! victory against the evil Galactic Failbook Empire. During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon, the MONKEY FINGER, a running gag with enough troll power to destroy an entire post. Pursued by Failbook’s sinister agents, Princess Lola races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the comment board…
tl;dr
dan = epic try hard
niw cipe = naD .oN
inoʎ s! ɹәuu!ʍ ɐ ˙pәәɹƃɐ
*winnear
*Wiener
*Hot Dog
*Hot shot
I found a ninja!
One does not simply find a ninja.
Darn!
A pr0secutor does though. He needs one to be his executioner.
He does great things as a .executioner
So therefore… somewhere out there… Dan’s evil twin, Nad is on niw cipe?
Definition for niw:
National Interest Waiver. A green card category where an individual may seek a waiver of the labor certification requirements based on their expertise a field of importance to the United States. The NIW is part of the employment based, second preference category (EB2).
I couldn’t find anything for this “cipe”.
Really? I thought it was quite funny, personally.
tl;dr your face.
*Fail Star moves into orbit around planet Cheezburger*
Nad: I can has you now!
Everyone else: Oh no you can’t!
Damn, Dan……just damn funny!
*just Dan funny
*Just $3.95 at your local McDonalds
Obviously dan cannot come up with something original in any way shape or form…..I hereby salute you for your copypasta efforts…….
Here here
*bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccccccccccccch
*Hear, hear
I have to admit, that made me giggle.
I could make you make other noises
She would have to fake them…
…ouch.
why is my stupid comment awaiting moderation?
I’m sorry, Dave, but I can’t tell you that.
Referring to above comment
Open the pod bay doors, Hal.
I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
Due to the fact that it would let in 5 litres of snowman fart gas.
Ok, the extreme level of random here is killing me. My 1st alter-ego might take over soon……………………
*quarts
*snif*
no cry…10loladhl
I bet now can can reply on this..
…is a great movie! We should watch it again after… you know… THE DARK HARVEST
Oh no.. they are now moderating stupid people.. I will be alone..
In the vacuum of space.
And snowman fart gas.
Again, WTF?
Miss Dahl is it just me or is that a little jelly I hear..?
Jelly?………………Pudding?
*hears Jibble fat-stomping over here*
Jelly? Jelly? HA!
For your information, Dan, I’m already over you…!
I’m with somebody else and I don’t need you! I’m dating… uhm… I’m dating… the presidon’t!
YES!
Him!
And we are very happy together.
*snif*
NO! The Presidon’t is MINE! I did adult stuff with him down there, go look!
Ladies! I got enough love for both of you.
Yeah but you only have one… (mental note: act like a lady) heart…
One heart, yes.
Lola is right.
Lola, I’ll give you the Presidon’t AND Dan. I’ll be the president of celibacy club from now on. I shall act like a lady!
I don’t want them if you don’t want them…
Tell me more about celibacy…
[Meanwhile, miles away...]
*senses a disturbance in the force*
*takes advantage over Dan’s temporary disturbance*
Wait…*senses a subsided cat fight*
(°~°)
What has changed your mind, my dear? Sure, like Lola said, I have only one…*pulls himself together*…heart, but I got a big one and it can be shared. ^^
If you’re the President of the club, won’t you need a First man?
I can volunteer, if ever you need someone…
*goes back in corner, looking at feet*
Oh.
Okay… Well, I want you to be happy…
I’ll miss you. More than you might think.
If you ever have a change of heart, I’m right here preciosa x
Don’t preciosa me!
Not while you’re precios-ing every other girl on failbook ):
But they don’t mean anything! It’s just sex.
I’ve never cared a jot for what anyone else thought about me, but one cold word from you is like a bullet, mi vida.
Oh Dan… Let’s never fight again…
(unless you do it for the make up sex)
The make-up sex is just a bonus <3
Dan is a Man Whoreee
Oh, hello there! *sits down next to A and doesn’t care that he’s not wearing any pants*
Lola?!? I thought we had such a good thing!
*Sniff Sniff*
*Rudely interrupts*
Dan? Do you want me to make you guys some cookies?
I’ll eat your cookie…s any day (or night) Mrs. Secret Mother
Forget the cookies, just get the bleach.
Where do I come in?
That’s classified information.
How the Empire failed to ban and moderate half the thread system, we may never know, but it must surely be a sign of failsauce.
Too true. They evaded the trollcaves of Hoth, Endor, and Naboo (well, they found the Naboo caves eventually……). They did not notice Dan’s Force-cloaked Force-tress hiding under the lava of Mustafar. They even missed my Force-tress floating under the Cloud City (because SKYman’s Force-tress has to be in a city in the SKY). It was because of this network that so much of the empire was unmoderated.
They blew up my Force-tress. I guess hiding it inside the Death Star wasn’t the best of plans…
I am not dead! mwahahaha!
Moderate my @ss!!
Use the Force. or if that fails, your lightsaber.
or a well planned trap using General Akbar and bleach
Am I first?
When I posted I didn’t see ANY comments. When I refreshed the page, there were 3. Sucks to be old and slow.
No worries mate, I hang with you ya.
Was that supposed to be a reply to oblong?
Yes .
I will hang with you too sweetcadi.
*sends a kiss through the interwebz*
*blushes and runs away.*
*stands in spot where Torchrainman was
*the horror when her kiss lands on Jibble, 55 year old basement dwelling sweaty whale troll (ok, just pretending to be… but just imagine…)
*slashes Jibble into pieces with his Hash-Slinging Slasher (he’s HIGH up in heaven now……….)
*slashes cables so interwebz can has not transmits kiss
*reminds himself that Torch is a man and backs away
*sends a thousand kisses through wi-fi to all the Cool People in Failbook*
So let’s see, that one thousand divided by 4 or 5 TOPS… I could not withstand so much imaginary affection. I forfeit
*goes to the center of the Earth and energizes the magnetic core, thereby preventing any radio-wave (which Wi-Fi falls under) transmissions from reaching their destination
*receives kisses*
*rubs them on his Willy*
And now take off your clothes and lie down! No back talk, I am your Presidon’t!!
*catches the single hottest kiss and uses it to light a cigarette*
Mantarawr, you don’t have to withstand it. You’re not one of the Cool People. The Cool People can withstand it.
Sky, you were incinerated a few miles below the crust.
teh d00che, I’m waiting *wink*
Dan, when you come, please don’t smoke inside. Thanks.
*big smile*
*takes run off to the bed*
*misses it*
*crashes through the window of teh Oral Office and lands naked on the lawn*
*FLURRY OF CAMERA FLASHES*
*goes back to sweetcadi and ███20 MINUTES OF CENSORED GROWN UP STUFF███*
*cigarette*
I WAS NOT INCINERATED! I protected my Super Digger with the Force!
I wasn’t incinerated either! As soon as I caught fire, a snowman’s cold fart extinguished the fire.
Sweetcadi, thanks for the clarification. I would never presume as much. It was purely precautionary and hypothetical lol
Mantarawr, I’d send you a kiss to make up for it, but I’m afraid you wouldn’t be able to withstand it… So I’ll just send you one of my dazzling and perfectly charming smiles. I’d put a smilie right now if it wasn’t for the m0derati0n.
*catches a kiss flying by, uses it to inflate a balloon. makes a cute doggy out balloon. Sends balloon back to sweetcadi with note attached to it*
I happen to be a sucker for dazzling smiles… Okay, youve got yourself a deal, Sweetcadi, but this time only! I don’t want people ’round here thinking I’ll take kindly to just any ol unsolicited, run-of-the-thread smile. I have pretty high standards. Do NOT dissappoint me!
:p
Actually the Hash-Slinging Slasher is in bikini bottom right now, preparing for tuesday night.
I stole him. I gave him some of his own medicine and he was out in no time.
He’s putting bikinis on his bottom.
*their
are you sure? i think it should be “there.”
*dare
*care bear’s hairy chair dare with the mayor that’s fair and square only costing a $2.50 fare with real flare but you must do it bare with a pet hare as you trip over the stair and give it a stare and buy something that is rare.
o_O
| |
|_|
@teh d00che – Presidon’t of teh Internetz: Hey, at least it rhymes!
(Replying to comment:
o_O
| |
|_|)
(I’m writing all this just in case the reply button stops working)
Clever..
Clever indeed. After all, I. Am. thecoolone3!!!
Are you schizophrenic? You’re using a lot of clanging and loosened associations……………………..
No, I’m not.
Don’t listen to him! Of course I am!
LIES!!!
You are the liar, thecoolone3.
Ha! You just called yourself a liar!
No, you are the lying liar! If your were a treasure chest, you would LIE at the bottom of a LIEthouse!
You spelled ‘Lighthouse’ wrong!
That’s not the point!
Yes it is!
I’m not your friend anymore!
FINE!
FINE!
*Bleachswig*
kids these days, faster refreshes they have.
I just go for the refreshments at a bleach drinkin party faster…..
They use the F5orce too?
Back in my day, you had to move the mouse back to the refresh button. We didn’t have any fancy shortcuts or F5 buttons or trackpad gestures.
No trackpad gestures? HOW DID YOU PEOPLE LIVE?!?!?
We lived by… ZZZNORK! (Asleep)
ZZZHUH?! Oh, we lived by moving the mouse around unlike you FAT LAZY @SSES!
Yoda, speak weird he does.
this is why we cant have nice things
*©unt
We don’t say the © word in front of the kids.
©lown?
©anadian?
My headache is over 9000¡!¡
The Empire Strikes Back with a Mindf**k!
It’s not very effe-()@#JK(AF*#
(The dialog box has crashed due to a MINDF**K!)
Broken replies again WHOO-HOO!!
People, let’s get a room. A chat room, that is.
Or an actual room.
morning Dan. Who paying for this room?
Your place or mine?
Better make it yours; there seems to be more police around my neighborhood every week.
When?
Dan is busy talking to the police. He will get back to you soon.
Thanks Torch. Would you like to join us? It would be my first thr33some…
*returns wearing lipstick-stained peaked policewoman’s cap*
HOKAY so I just finished speaking with some of the fine ladies of the Metropolitan Police Service, and they think it’d be a good idea if I take things easy for a while.
So first thing; you’re both over 18 right?
I am!
Why are your clothes still on and you’re not on my bed yet?
You’re wrong. My clothes aren’t on… I’m just waiting for your adress *wink*
So what’s your Bra size..??
IT’S OVER 9000
^proof
Wouldn’t you like to know… *wink*
When you get to the Parliament of teh Internetz, walk down the hall. You’ll see a big door with a sign reading “Oral Office”. Go right past it. You’ll then see a broom closet with the inscription “Oval Orifice”. Drum the opening riff to Led Zeppelin’s ‘Rock and Roll’ by knocking of the door and I will… I mean teh Presidon’t will open.
Let’s do a sixsome!
Let’s do an awesome!
You, sir, are a…
C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!
Or an oval room.
Or, as it will be if Newt Ging-B!tch becomes President next year, the square room.
Or, as it will be if thecoolone3 (me) becomes President next year, the triangular room.
You watch Jon Stewart, we get it. Stop making this comment.
What time is Corrie on?
It’s on at May 16, 2011 at 6:35 am.
tl;dr
super lame
when i read this comment, i got the sensation of cool winter wind whipping through my hair.
like you were standing on top of a mountain?
No, like someone was doing a large, cold fart on my head.
Farts aren’t cold.
*puts noseplugs in*
They’re hotter than that burrito you’re smelling.
It was a snowman’s fart.
Oops, wrong name!
tl;dr
That facebook status is full of win. I wish I had awesome friends *forever alone*
Yeah, it’s a shame most of the comments are copied verbatim from the article.
I WISH I HAD A FACEBOOK PROFILE!
*Bleachswig*
BE POLITE.. SAY WELCOME BACK TO MONKEY FACE..
FU!
Here, I’ll show you how to do it.
*Clears throat*
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
NEVER (*echoes* EVER EVEr EVer Ever ever ever ever…)
This is obviously shopped. I can tell from seeing the pixels, and having seen a number of photoshops in my time.
Man this is getting old.. I mean lemon juice are better be sold..
Lemon juice? I don’t like lemon juice. I prefer bleach!
are these people for real? are there honestly that many nerds out there?
It doesn’t LOOK fake… but it probably is.
Welcome to Failbook. Care for some bleach?
It’s world famous!
*Clears throat*
*Shuffles cue cards*
There once was a man from China
Who wasn’t a very good climber.
He slipped on a rock
Broke his c**k
And now he has a V*g*n*.
I have more!
*Flips cue cards over*
*Shifts balance from left to right to left again*
Yankee d00dl3 went to town riding on a heater,
Accidentally turned it on and burned his little wiener!
ANything else before I go..?
Er… no. *Sniff* You’re right! I… I should have studied harder! Waaahaaahaaahaaaaa… *Runs off into distance, leaving a trail of tears and bleach behind him*
The reply button’s broken again!
Actually, it’s now working. FOOL!
Got it.. The reply button will broke everytime a post exceeds 100 comments..
O RLY?
-The O RLY owl
..an will then be back to normal after exactly 130 comments..
AAAAAWWWWWWWW YEEEEEAAAAAH
-That guy that always says ‘AAAAAWWWWWWWW YEEEEEAAAAAH’
Bork bork bork bork bork
-A retarded chicken
Totally…
Spork spork spork spork spork
-A retarded nerd
Orc orc orc orc orc
-Another retarded nerd
Boohoo… What happened to your lemon face?
It has evolved into Green Charlton Heston.
Get you hands off me you d a m n monkey.
got
Got snot in my bot
How DO you change your avatar, anyway?
have
OK, so you have, but how do you do it?
look for gravatar.com?
*Swedish chef
WTF.. Comments that were down went UP?? WTH is happening??
Some
I’m sorry, but that’s classified information.
time
time who?
On
This is a bad knock-knock joke.
no, YO MAMA is a bad knock-knock joke.
Your mother is a bad yo’ mama joke.
your
Grow a pair
Of b00bs and t3st1es
Somehow
Hands?
dum dum dum dum
this is the DARK SIDE
don’t join the DARK SIDE….
i love the movie Fanboys.
IDK
Moneymoneymoneymoneymoney!
-Eugene H. Krabs
btw, why does my avatar look like it’s smelling a fart? i didn’t fart. WTF is it doing?
Smelling a snowman’s cold fart.
that must be it…like a cold breeze…
whip my hair back and forth
whip it real good….
wut?
What what in the butt?
Can’t
inanely jelly
Y U NO REPLY WITH MORE THAN ONE WORD?
is first French midget, eating american sammich. is like kind of nightmare.
bcuz
Bcuz why?
because robots
xactly
Hi! I’m the smurfiest smurf in all of the smurfing world!
Hi! I’m Papa Smurf using thecoolone3′s account!
It was easy to kill thecoolone3! I just smurfed his smurfing smurf until his tiny smurf dropped off, then I smurfed it up his smurf-hole, and let the smurfing begin!
Ha! You didn’t kill me!
*Stabs Papa Smurf*
NHUEHRU,ERUSERS
Sorry, that was just Papa Smurf’s head on my keyboard.
…
You can literally feel the awkwardness.
yes you can.
Is this simply an uncomfortable amount of posting enthusiasm, or full-retarded new approach to trololling?
Bit of both, perhaps?
I am sick of all these stupid star wars failbooks…
Ahh hyew’s it tew bad fer?? It’s tew bad fer tew…
something something fail
It wasn´t funny, then it was, and then it got boring again.
tl;dr
Too Long, Didn’t Read
You’re Wrong, Dye it Red.
Too long. Didn’t read.
Your shlong. Didn’t rub.
17 Dollars
Tl;DR
TL;DR
Too long, Didn’t read… and yet took the time to comment :3
TL;DR
doesnt any of these ppl no tht skywalker is darth vader…. =.=
my dad is a star wars freak and he owns every movie ever made……