He’s pretty good, but he’s really not any better than the average drummer now, it’s simply a difference in time periods, he played different bag then and stood out but now, it’s pretty average
I think the postman intercepts everything I try and send to you
‘Cause he’s infatuated, and he’s the fulcrum between us two
And I can’t say I blame him, ’cause I’d cheat a priest just to get to you.
And I don’t mind that she gets hammered and goes home with other guys
There’s no jealousy ’cause she’s Little Miss Pipedream Fantasy
I saw her slam back tequila’s like Oliver Reed on an Irish stag do
And I’ll wait if you stay because foggy London town’s not built for me or you
Don’t leave Miss Pipedream ’cause I love you!
And I don’t mind that she gets hammered and goes home with other guys
There’s no jealousy, though she’ll grind it out with friends but not with me
Oh, she’s my Little Pipedream Fantasy
Dr. Device! You, sir (or ma’am, since it’s somewhat difficult to tell!), win teh intarwebz today – I believe this is the first I’ve seen an Ender reference used in general conversation. Like, ever.
Also: “Flying in the night on brooms is the safest way to travel”
umm NO
Bring a gazilion tanks and airforce and spi planes and helicopters and navel forces and travel in brought day light you stupid mother efers
Oh my god. I have never seen this article before. You (and the writer and publisher, naturally) are my greatest hero(es). I just wish this article weren’t so long; the very people who need to read it and feel stupid might TL;DR it…
Magic screws up electricity and electronics in the series. Guns rely on mechanics and chemistry. There’s no reason why they shouldn’t work.
Get a big honking .50 cal elephant gun and snipe deatheaters from half a mile away, that’s my advice.
night goggle’s wouldn’t have worked.
besides. they would just say the disarming spell in their head, so the gunwielder wouldn’t know they were being disarmed until the gun flew out of their hands.
Yeah, there were only two major flaws I saw with it. Night vision goggles was one. Looking directly at basilisk eyes=death. Looking at reproduced image (picture, reflection, etc.)= paralysis and unconsciousness. You’d need to be shooting blind. The other thing is what you mentioned, but that’s easily remedied. There’s like 30+ Order of the Phoenix right? Just arm them all and work in teams.
If magic screwed up chemistry so badly that gunpowder no longer burned rapidly, imagine what it would do to the delicate, complex dance of proteins and amino acids within each of our body’s cells, without which we cannot live.
In other words: Either guns work, or Dumbledore dies a hell of a lot sooner than book 6.
HP is set in the UK and is a pure FANTASY series. The author gets to set the rules – Thus, no guns.
For an entertaining series of STORIES involving the use of both magic and technology, check out Jim Butcher. His Dresden Files mixes action and fantasy and is set in Chicago, USA – Thus, guns.
But for arguments sake, we can explore the issue of firearms vs magic.
The issue is that many of the magical creatures and practitioners have the abilities to phase shift and teleport – allowing projectiles to pass through or to move out of the way.
They also have telekinetic powers that would allow them to mess with mechanical mechanisms.
As for those that argue that disabling gunpowder without killing someone would violate the rules of physics and biology:
You do realize the series features time-travel, teleportation, telekinesis, chimeras and mythological creatures, don’t you?
When you write your own book you can make up your own rules.
Good fantasy must have consistent rules. If wood burns as it normally does regardless of “magic auras” or any other such nonsense; if certain chemical reactions are suppressed as a rule for entirely arbitrary reasons while others are not, they it may well be fantasy. But it’s not GOOD fantasy.
This would hardly be the first time someone has observed that Rowling’s world-building leaves very much to be desired, of course. Her magic system is laughably silly. Writers of fanfic — this is at bottom an example of it — may be excused for doing their level best to fix it.
Disagree. Magic doesn’t need to follow physics just be consistent for a story to be good.
Her magic is consistent – she never mentions guns or this silly debate.
She at least makes a few attempts to explain stuff, like why you can make literally anything appear at no cost to anyone except for food, money, and some other things I don’t know. The main thing that was terrible was the energy usage system. She kept talking about how tired (insert name) is and how (insert name) can’t keep up this spellwork much longer. I thought the Inheritance cycle had an excellent system. Speaking of which, http://shurtugal.com/2011/03/23/inheritance-book-4-title-announced-releases-november-8th/ You’re welcome.
“She at least makes a few attempts to explain stuff”
No, she doesn’t explain it. She simply states you can’t. There’s absolutely nothing special about food or money as physical stuff, and she doesn’t take the trouble to distinguish it magically either. It’s necessary as a plot device, or else the Weasleys can’t be poor and there would be no point to buying anything, but it’s arbitrary and poorly thought out.
although i would agree that it wouldn’t need to follow physics if it were a fantasy world like middle earth, HP takes place on modern day earth where the muggle world is pretty much like our own
“Middle Earth” is NOT a no-rules fantasy world. It’s THIS world, in an imaginary time, and it very much follows the rules of physics. (“Magic” there is exceptionally rare.) Tolkien even took care to coordinate the phases of the moon with what they’d be in the real world, by picking a “similar” year’s almanac.
In fact, NO well-constructed fantasy world ignores the laws of physics.
i’d like to put up a counter arguement to one point. In order to phase shift or teleport, one would have to willingly activate whatever spell before you can actually use it. That being said, if one with said power were to be sniped, they would never know the bullet was coming and thus wouldn’t be able to activate said powers in time to protect themselves. Since bullets travel faster than the speed of sound, the target would not be aware of the bullet headed towards their direction. The last thing going through their brain wouldn’t be “oh i’ve been shot”. It would be the bullet.
all of this assuming that air and sound hold the same properties in the fantasy world as they do here, but thats a whole other argument.
Yes, and Star Wars and Star Trek are set in two totally different universes at two totally different time periods.
You really think that stops fans of either series from comparing them???
Goddamn it. Why do you all think there are no firearms in England? I have one, as do my neighbours on both sides. One of them infact has enough firepower to take down a small army.
over course when regular combustion ballistics are enhanced with charms or imbued with some sort of magic dissolving items of some sort it can really go against things that have no corporeal form such as death eaters
Because of the fact that he thinks night vision goggles will save you from a basilisk because “you’re looking at a picture of it.” Doesn’t anyone remember that this is what petrified the people? Sure it didn’t kill them, but even looking at the reflection/image of a basilisk petrifies you.
I stopped reading there, because he clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Where does he do that? Looking at the reflection of the eyes petrifies you, so just use a sonar scanner with an opaque HUD when you expect it to be around. After all, a bloody big lizard is easy to spot from a distance…
I’m not really sure how you made that connection. Just because he said “As if” doesn’t mean they’d be immune to being t-Boned by a double decker bus(or whatever kind of car crash). If they don’t see it coming they can’t prepare for it.
in book 4, Hermione mentioned that the omnipresent magical era of Hogwarts negates technology (so yes to your question). But guns would still work, because they are simply blunt instruments.
No, no they would not. Magic shorts out anything muggle-made. Today’s guns wouldn’t work.
Rowling made it so this theory wouldn’t work a long time ago and I’m tired of people thinking that they are genius for coming up with it. These are the same people that do the ‘why didn’t Frodo just ride the eagles into Mordor?’
Because LotR would be a lot shorter? Because Gandalf was sick and tired of the younger generation, always lookin’ for shortcuts instead of pulling themselves up by their bootstraps and doing things the hard way? Why, when he was a young wizard, you wanted to throw a magic ring in a volcano you’d grab a shovel and a start a diggin’ until you hit magma, take a deep breath, jump in and swim to the volcano, climb out and then throw the ring back and spit on it. I tell ya, the kids these days have ruined Middle Earth…
I always thought it was because the Nazgul had some sort of dragonlike flying mounts with a high probability of intercepting and killing the smaller giant eagles.
But the 9 Riders didn’t get their Nazgul (the names of those dragon like flying mounts) until after their horses had been killed. The real reason I’ve heard that the Eagles didn’t want to help out because they didn’t really care to get involved.
*is ashamed to be a Middle Earth nerd* but hey at least I hate those fvckin’ awful LoTR movies
it shorts out anything mugggle-made? even stuff that doesn’t run on electricity? Then wouldn’t Hermione and any other muggle-born wizards just fall over dead since they were made by muggles?
i like to think the main reason for no technology this is simple pride, all wizards seem to think that muggles are foolish, so they probably never consider that their tech could be any use to a wizard.
The general rule of thumb is that magic cancels out any muggle-made (or whatever the preferred term for the series) artifacts or guns. Hermione is a person, and a magical person at that, not an artifact.
Guns use chemistry and mechanics, not electricity. Magic screws up electricity. (If it screwed up mechanics, muggle watches wouldn’t work in Hogworts, but they do. If it screwed up chemistry, fire wouldn’t burn in Hogworts. But it does.)
But while it is true that a gun would be better than combat magic in a one on one fight, there is defensive magic that can trump guns, like the spells that Hermione cast around their camp every day to keep people out. Spells like that would stop a wizard from being seen as well as from being hit.
There are also probably some shield charms that can block bullets, (assuming protago can’t). So have fun shooting an animated suit of armour that’s advancing on you while a wizard blasts you with spells.
Also, anything short of a nuke probably wouldn’t be able to destroy a horcrux, so you’ll need to spawn camp voldemort for eternity.
I can’t believe you people are stating this crp as if it’s some kind of Universal Law.
This is a fictional work by a talented author that gets to make her own rules for how magic works in her fictional universe.
Get a life!
You are entitled to your opinion. Millions of others, including many scholars and “serious” authors, would disagree.
IMHO she may not be a Tolstoy but she is definitely talented.
Popularity =/= quality, as just about any “serious” author knows.
Think of the bestselling authors you know of: Rowling, King, Crichton, Steele, Koontz, Meyer. I guarantee you that for each of them there are at least a thousand other authors who are every bit as good or better, who simply did not win the crapshoot of getting picked up by an editor, published, and then noticed by the general public.
Oh God, Meyer. ESPECIALLY Meyer. If ever there was a counterexample to your puerile assertion that popularity implied quality, or even the tiniest mote of authorial talent, it’s her.
I am a huge bibliophile and I have a masters in English. I do note, however, that this is the Internet and my credentials are instantly null- BUT Rowling is a very good writer. Her books are very entertaining and well-written.
But you are right, quality does not popularity; Rowling simply excelled in both elements. It should be mentioned, however, that hexezeichen meant that many qualified authors see the Harry Potter series as something profound, not that popularity instantly means quality.
Yet, if many great and qualified authors have deemed a work as something great and you are the only one in the red, then this is simply a matter of opinion.
You keep seeming to miss my post that guns are always included in the ‘no technology around magic’ rule, dude. I believe I pointed out before that all muggle-made objects that rely on any sort of chemical reaction or electricity are easily ‘shorted-out’ or shut down by magic. Guns are always included in this scenario.
For example, in the Abhorson Trilogy, any technology or man-made weapons requiring such a reaction failed to work near the old world because of magical interference. Guns were included in this.
That’s to ignore the fact that Voldemort could ‘see’ that Harry was bringing a gun and ruin the gun before Harry even got there with the thing.
And *you* keep missing the point that, if true, this is evidence of very poor world-building. It’s something she pulled out of her a$$ to avoid this kind of scenario from the start. It doesn’t rise out of anything in particular about her magic system. In any event I don’t recall her ever mentioning Muggle chemistry, only Muggle electronics.
I’ve never heard of the Abhorsen Trilogy, but from what I can see on Amazon’s “Read it now” I’m not impressed. Stilted writing and a main character with all marks of the loathsome Mary Sue. Do not want.
But on this subject I’ll even fault Zelazny, a fantasy author whose work I admire above almost all others, for pulling the same gunpowder stunt in his Amber series, although at least in that case the apologist can find an internally consistent reason for it. It’s a bit of a stretch, but it’s there. Not so with most of Rowling’s arbitrary rules.
it’d still petrify but not kill, the same way that seeing the reflection or looking through the camera might do so – that’s the reason nobody died in the first place, because they weren’t looking at it directly.
Yes, it would. Indirect views can still petrify you. That’s what happened to Colin Creevey (through his camera) and whoever looked at it through Nearly Headless Nick.
On a random note, I still find it amusing that since Nick couldn’t die again, they just petrified him anyway and called it a day.
Okay, I can’t believe I’m about to say this and display my nerdiness…. Colin’s camera wasn’t digital, and looking at something through lenses (like your glasses) *isn’t* the same as looking at an *image* of it (like on a television screen, but in your goggles).
On a side note, the Doctor Who writers solved that little loophole by making *images* of the angels *turn into* angels. DON’T BLINK.
I love how Amy brought up the idea that it's incredibly difficult to not blink, and winked one eye at a time to get around it. That bugged me the first time around, in the episode with Sally Sparrow.
actually, i remember the film in the camera was destroyed, so it probably do the same to the NV camera before it’d transmit the image. Thus you’d probably wouldn’t get paralyzed because you wouldn’t see the basilisk
If you believe the no-gunpowder people, Harry should have gone blind as soon as he stepped onto Hogwarts grounds. Muggle science doesn’t work there, and prescription eyeglasses are products of Muggle science.
Not really, because in the 5 seconds it took you to whip out your wand and say that, some redneck has pulled the trigger three times and blown your brains all over the pavement… Sad, but true.
I don’t believe Harry ever went down any drains or plumbing of any kind in the first film. Read the OP’s sentence, then NL’s sentence, then form your argument.
It doesn’t say anything about drains or plumbing, it says hole, referencing the hole that the breech charge has just made. So the description is consistent with the troll incident. Also, dropping a flashbang down the hole that leads to the Chamber of Secrets is useless because it would detonate before it ever got to the bottom.
Where is the Chamber of Secrets mentioned in that context in the post?? It was a more than obvious reference to when they beat the Troll in the bathroom in the first movie.
This is clearly nonsense. It’s clearly stated many times throughout the series that only things that have been destroyed using magic are irreparable with magic. I’m pretty sure any wound would be treatable, assuming muggle weaponry had any sort of effect on wizards’ bodies.
Even if they were at danger from muggle weaponry, the first instance of a weapon being used on a wizard would surely prompt all wizards to permanantly enchant themselves with a simple anti-weaponry spell, thereby eliminating the element of danger that our weapons would pose.
Exactly, we couldn’t burn them during the Inquisition in the HP world, why would we be able to shoot them?
And who says shooting is faster than a spell? You don’t actually need to say the words to cast the spell, so the spell could be faster than the gun, and even if they did say the words, wouldn’t you have to be just as fast to defend yourself as when you’re defending yourself from another spell? The person with the gun would be easily disarmed and be then defenseless against the other one holding a wand, because the former wouldn’t have the time to pick up his wand, even if he had one.
Silly muggles, thinking they can take down wizards with their silly guns!
Not with anything out of a pistol. A 45 ACP round is subsonic. You can shoot a target at 600 yards and have time to set the pistol down and pick up your binoculars to watch it hit.
“wizard” logic is awesome, “nuh uh, we’d just make a general spell so you couldnt do that!” if you could make an *anti gun* spell, couldnt you just make one against other spells? or against wands? as for disarming, thats why you always carry two guns!
Actually, it’s also stated you can’t revive the dead into their former state, and I think forced removal and dispersion of the brain into a fine pink mist pretty much constitutes dead.
And even if they made themselves immune to bullets/bulletproof, we have plenty of other weapons.
Explosives, for example: they’re not weapons, as such, despite the overpressure being enough to rupture every blood vessel in the brain.
Radiation: might be slow, but if you hit them with a large enough dose, they should die before their medics figure out what’s wrong, and it’ll be hilarious to see them go through all their counter-curses to find none works.
Asphyxiation: a fuel-air explosion removes the oxygen faster than the wizard can say “Oh shi-”. No time for a counterspell.
And anyway, if only magical damage is irreparable, then why do wizards need to fear falling from great heights, or just damage in general? Why didn’t Alastor get a new eye when he lost the original? There’s a limit to what can be healed, apparently.
wizards could easily arm themselves with guns, just accio next to a military police depot or baracks, as if anyone could say proteo fast enough to stop a bullet…
also, in star wars, if they used metal bullets, the jedi would block with their lightsaber, the bullet would get melted and the jedi would get a face full of molten metal
True, but a metal bullet would be simple enough to deflect using the Force. It would be quite easy, since its moving several times slower than the beams of light they’re used to blocking!
Not just that… don’t light sabers work with magnetic fields or something… those powerful magnetic fields would simply deflect or reflect the bullets before they touch the light saber
Lead is a conductor. As a conductor passes through a magnetic field, it creates an electric charge in the conductor. A electrical charge passing through a magnetic field creates a force on the charge in a direction determined by the motion of the charge and the direction of the magnetic field.
The lead would be defected if there were a large enough magnetic field.
Wow. You’ve, managed to, like, totally misunderstand that.
It reminds me of this one freshman engineering student I knew, whose head was not quite in the same place as everyone else’s. His stated ambition on becoming an engineer was, and I quote, to “invent the lightsaber.” How, we asked? Again I quote, “Simply combine a laser with a cathode ray tube!”
Ehehehe ‘gun control means voldermort wins’ this should be their new slogan! Original Harry potter fans are 25ish now, totally old enough to get a gun. Not I’m my country.. Only farmers and people with vigorous back-checks and a safe that’s securely bolted to the house which must be owned and not rented and a gun license and access to a farm or some acreage with written consent from the owner and hold a valid membership at a shooting gallery, breath, can have guns in my country. Oh and the po po.
Original fan implies that you read the first book before the second book came out. If this is true of you, you had great reading skills for someone so young. In that case, I applaud you.
Classic Americans thinking all problems can be solved with guns. And in Britain we do hunt deer, play GTA and I do own several knives which may be used to cut steak.
Of course most problems can be solved with a gun. The person bothering you can’t do much from the other side…well, unless they’re Gandalf or some sh*t. No, our problem is, is solving the problem with a gun the best action?
The post honestly sounds more like a joke than anything…I think he meant to use the common “gun-toting Americans” stereotype on purpose. That’s part of the point…or at least that’s how I interpreted it.
I’m confused. If it’s just “seeing” a basilisk that hurts you, why don’t people just close their eyes and cast spells of echo-location? Because clearly, hearing it doesn’t hurt you…
Looking into the eyes of a basilisk will kill you, anything indirect will petrify you. That’s why he could look at it when the baskilisks eyes were gouged.
But having his huge teeth inject the deadliest existent poison into your body will probably hurt, which is what I would do if I were a basilisk and saw some idiot wizard stumbling around casting spells at random things trying to get me.
Hilarious. I want to friend this kid. Awesome stuff. He should have worked in a benelli m2 in there somewhere and it would be perfect. You need the benelli for when you are riding your broom, and need to take someone out like a clay skeet.
Additionally, while guns might or might not be effective- land mines and other remote-detonated charges would certainly be useful, at least as a diversionary measure. I mean, especially in those big duel-things, there seems to be an awful lot of concentration. I would imagine somebody would barely notice the plastic explosive behind that tombstone…
Though to be quite honest, I’d imagine that Voldemort could possibly be better at such things- allowing him to just level Hogwarts with artillery and be done with it. Kind of like how Corwin storms the keep in The Guns of Avalon. Though in that case, we might as well just make movies based on The Chronicles of Amber, which is a far superior series in the first place…
I lol’d. For realz. I can see somebody making a parody of HP now, involving the poor HP kid wielding a gun. Or, have him carry both the gun and the wand on his person to see which has the better killing effect.
At first I was like: “tl;dr”
Then I looked at comments and thought I’d give it a shot…
Now I’m wishing I could get those 2 minutes of my life back, not funny and lamest thing I’ve ever read, only funny to Harry Potter fanboys.
Someone move this to the Harry Potter fanfic section please. It’s not a “funny Facebook status message” — it’s just a harry potter fanfic pitch-presentation, posted on someone’s notes. Laaaame!
This person should get their facts straight before they go off on a rant about how much better Harry Potter would be if it were exactly like all of the crappy shooting death games so many mentally deficient people play today.
Too messy. The issues with the time turner are too dangerous. Its space time continuum crap. The truth is a time machine only helps you gather evidence and knowledge about your enemy. If you just use it to jump back in time and kill them when they are you, your future will have a whole NEW enemy (Yes, there will be someone ELSE who rises to power in Voldy’s place. Human nature does not escape the Wizarding World, after all.) In addition, there will be new victims, a new chosen one, and you might come back to your future just in time to realize that you already died. That aside, Dumbledore would never have made it back to the future. The time turner puts the current you in the previous time. There is nothing to suggest that your age reverts when you use it. Dumbledore, at his current age, would be jumping back roughly 30 years or so. He would then be forced to live out that extent of time in order to return. The time turner turns time backward. The forward progression happens simultaneously to the original space in time, so as to create a closed loop. The result would be a much older Dumbledore probably dying before the loop was ever complete, in which case the time turner could potentially be forever lost in time (though it would most likely end up buried in the room of requirment.)
I’m pretty sure you could pull out every gun imaginable to save your life and still have your soul nommed by a single dementor, let alone 15. You can’t just shoot everything. This is the quintessential problem with the Black Ops obsession. The true medium between Harry Potter and Call of Duty is probably somewhere around God of War for the PS2, if only there were some sort of multiplayer capability involved.
Could it be perhaps that Europeans are civilized enough to not allow citizens (the same idiots who end up on these fail sites) have guns?
Also, kind of missed half the point of the books. They’re the good guys. They overcame Voldemort without ever using the torture curse. They wouldn’t use guns if they had access to them.
Just a coincidence then, that the US has eighteen times the homicides committed with guns per population than Germany while only having five times the population? (US has 10k homicide with guns/annum while Germany has about 5k _crimes with guns_/annum).
Admittedly: it IS difficult for a government to protect its citizens froms its citizens when anybody can own a gun.
Using a gun for defense doesn’t mean shooting someone. It can be as simple as turning to face someone, and reaching around your back like you are ready to unholster your own weapon.
You also realize, that you are no more than about 300 miles from the Atlantic, Med, or North sea, at any point in Europe? Texas is over 800 miles east to west, and it is nearly as far across Montana. If I drove 600 miles, east or west from here, I’d still only cross one state line.
You know, instead of facepalming at exactly how uneducated and dull-headed people have to be to ever utter the phrase “TL;DR” (pointing out you’re too lazy or illiterate to read? Sad)… I will instead gleefully know that these morons will never experience the genius and hilarity of this post. Sucks to be them, I guess! I had a good laugh!
…. The Chamber of Secrets was in the second movie, not the first – Also shooting Voldemort wouldn’t kill him – any potter fan knows he does not need his body to live.
SPOILERS:
Voldemort – Minus the R – came up with the perfect consistency of water to use on a potters wheel, He worked out that by splitting the intakes of water to 7 (what he considered a ‘magical’ number) he could get the clay to yield in to a near perfect constitution.
However, it wasn’t until one Harry Potter (with the help of his mentor Albus Dumbledore) challenged Voldemort’s theory that the world discovered that 8 was in fact the desired number to defeat cracks.
1)You can’t kill voldemort untill you destroy the horcruxes
2)Guns only kill people if you shoot them in the right place Avadra Kadavra kills no matter what (Unless you’re Harry Potter)
3)Avadra Kadavra would kill faster than a gun
Wouldn’t the goggles work the same way as the camera? Or the mirror? So, you’d still be petrified.
I don’t care how much of a nerd this makes me. I’m still right.
I just wanted to say that if night vision is looking at a picture of the basilisk, he would get Petrified: just like the little boy: Colin Creevey, was that his name? Anyway, either that or the goggles would have melted, like the boy’s camera did.
sorry, your either drop out yank soldier/officer who couldnt hack it or some geeky kid who loves researching things to try and be funny. NEWS FLASH this wasnt funny AND the british arms is alot better than your friendly firing red neck hooligans, not funny one little bit, no one really cares about harry potter, and you have never fired a water gun never mind a barret .50cal in your life, stop trying to be smart and go overdose your a waste of ration packs and a oxygen stealer. that is all
I don’t see why a well aimed NATO 7.62 (you don’t need a .50 bmg) from 500-700 yards couldn’t take out a HP universe wizard or witch. If the shooter has the element of surprise, the first the target will know about it is when the bullet strikes him (it’s a supersonic round). HP universe magical folk can be harmed by human weapons. Dobby was taken out by a thrown dagger. Hagrid heads out into the forest with a crossbow. Why did Griffindor have a sword if it wasn’t useful?
My kids were talking about this just yesterday. You put it better, though.
Personally, I was thinking of setting up an L shaped ambush with claymores and an M60 at the corner and throwing in a command detonated mine for good measure. One squad from Echo company of the 2nd battalion, 2nd marines would be all you need.
Only problem is they said “…how awesome the first movie would of been if he blew up the bath room wall”…..2nd movie is the basilisk….learn your movies/books
Judging by the comments all throughout this page, I’m beginning to think that maybe this post should be on “Art of Trolling” since this WAS a successful troll…..whether they meant it or not!!
Ummm did this person actually read the books…. if you did you would know that in Hogwarts : A History you find out that manmade technology does not work in the school… also dont you think Voldy would have a similar charm so such barbaric things would have no effect on him… DUH… why dont you read the boook its way better than movies.,…
to be honest though, if you read the books you would realize that nothing you said could have actually happeneddd
for instance muggle items dont work on hogwarts grounds
sooooo
yeah….
Actually, guns are not electronic, so they would work. Guns are entirely mechanical, and it makes as much sense to say that they wouldn’t function as it does to say that pipes wouldn’t function. That doesn’t change the fact that someone like Harry, who is under the age of eighteen for the entire series, would not be able to get his hands on that.
This discussion has been had. The general consensus is that electronics don’t work (so no powered optics), but most other stuff is fine.
The only things that guns require to work are simple mechanics and chemical reactions. And if those don’t work, people couldn’t even live there, and would die the moment they walked into Hogwarts.
Idk. Considering that Harry is accustomed to aiming a wand, which has no sights nor any actual procedure for aiming that we have ever heard about, a gun might not be so hard with a minimum of instruction.
That wands must be aimed is clear, since spells occasionally miss.
Horcruxes cannot be destroyed by any man made object! Read the books before posting stuff like this, furthermore, the basilisk is Chamber of Secrets which is the second book, no the first!
Not gonna lie, never seen the Harry Potter films, but the fact that they DONT include what Ive just read here is even more motivation not to see them…This is awesome..
350+ posts and not ONE “Wizards” movie comment about the final showdown where you think there will be a huge wizardly duel and instead the good guy pulls out a pistol and shoots the bad guy dead…guess it’s a little too old or a little too scarce of a reference….. “Larry good–feed Larry!”
1) Witches and wizards can cast spells with only a thought
2) I really don’t think many highly magical creatures are hurt by ordinary metal
3) Witches and wizards wear protective spells and equipment
4) IIRC technology stops working at Hogwards (and presumably other highly magical/protected places?)
5) I’m sure the cliche of Americans being unaware of the rest of the world is mostly untrue. It seems they are also aware that Europe exists.
6) Maybe the reason there’s no death eaters in America is that they were a group of bigoted, violent men- in America they didn’t need to form a special group to meet the like-minded.
So I have to admit this is a funny posting. However, the I am not so sure how much the writer really knows about Harry Potter other than what he may have seen in the movies or read on Wiki. I was skeptical from the part where he was talking about the Basilisk and then in the next paragraph says
“Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry…”
But barging into the bathroom would mean nothing in the first movie because he is more concerned with getting in the trap door. Unless the writer is speaking of when the troll and Hermione are in the bathroom and Ron and Harry go into to save him, but from the previous statement that is not what I believe he meant. I mean really you are trying to make a point about the series yet get some of your information wrong? Wow.
And yes because I am sure this question will follow after this post, I am a huge Harry Potter fan and have read all of the books numerous times, and seen all of the movies also.
Problems: Basalisk’s eyes don’t use the conventional “Light-related” function, it has nothing to do with OUR eyes, thus meaning you’d still get frohzen. And Night Vision Goggles still have on bit where it goes directly from the outside to your eye, only with glass in the way. Also, in the time I could say “Expelliarmus”, the lock on most gun would give way either just after or at the same time as I said it. And I don’t remember every bullet hitting the target, unlike Avadera Kedavera.
Here’s why Harry never uses a gun: They are illegal in the UK. Where in God’s name would he get one? He lives in a nice neighborhood far from the slums, and thus far from illegal gun trafficking. I also doubt there’s a spell to transfigure one…
Actually, John Moses Browning invented the 1911, along with over 200 individual weapon patents. Colt simply manufactured it using Browning’s design. Long live the 1911! <3
Also, guns beat magic.
If you don’t believe me, why don’t you duel me? I’ll grab my 1911 and you can wave a wooden stick at me. We’ll see who wins.
“But it’s a fantasy world! Wizards can use magic to block bullets!”
As at least a dozen other people have pointed out here, bullets generally travel faster than sound. A wizard would have to know the bullet was coming fairly far ahead of time to block it, and obviously not many wizards in the HP world have such foresight. And besides, Harry Potter is a wizard too, so why wouldn’t he be able to imbue his bullets with magic?
The Night Vision goggles might or might not work. Rowling never says what happens if you merely _look_ at a picture of a basilisk.
“But you can’t use technology in the wizard world!”
That’s not true either. Tons of wizards use muggle-crafted objects in the wizarding world. Colin Creevey’s camera, for example. And even electricity works there, like Harry’s watch. And if simple chemical reactions weren’t allowed, then (as several people have pointed out) there could be no fire, life, or even the flash from Colin’s camera.
And if all else fails, Harry can use a battlefield nuke. Try protecting yourself while your very atoms are ripping themselves apart, Voldemort! Not even magic can redesign nature, as I believe is pointed out at least once in the series.
Rowling did say what happens when you look at an image of the basilisk. think what happened to hermione when she saw the basilisk through the mirror. she got petrified. a reflection is also an image.
Ok, second paragraph is false. Looking direstly into it’s eyes kills you. Looking at an image of it is medusa-gaze. LEARN YOUR FACTS!!!!
A true fan of the series would know that right off the bat. Just thought i’d let you know.
Why does this guy think the British eat steak with spoons? We really don’t, we do have knives, even ones especially made for steak….and also not all of Europe is made up of Brits, as he seems to imply…..hmmm……..ignorance is bliss
Lol, I concede to your reasoning! Your explanation of why Harry should have a gun is hilarious and quite convincing. Harry certainly seems more bad ass in this scenario. I’ve asked the question of why the wizards didn’t just use guns quite a few times but you really nailed the question here. Now I wish Harry would have had a gun!
honestly, i’ve read all 7 of harry potter books, and i don’t remember ever reading that magic shorts out all modern technology. yes young wizzards and witches who are yet to be trained to control their magic tend to let out impulses of magic that interferes with the things around them, especially evident with electrical appliances as with the case of harry potter, and lord voldermort set a closet in flames in the orphanage he was in when he was a young child. the closet was not operated by electricity.
but why do the good guys not use guns etc. because if you bothered to read at all, majority of the magic society still feel that they are superior to common folk without magic. it is due to their arrogance that they do not even bother to understand these people that they think so little of. because of that, they scorn technology of the common folk without even bothering to look at the benefits of technology. that is not very different from racism as displayed in USA during the 70s-80s where chinese and african americans were despised upon. did they know that paper and gunpowder were invented by the chinese and respect or give them credit for that? no. hence, your magic folks know little of modern technology. which also explains why arthur weasly is so fascinated by modern technology and calls them “muggle-magic”
there are of course loopholes to this theory set by JK rowling. because the railway train that sends the school children to hogwarts is afterall, man-made technology. albeit a little ancient looking…
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You could definitely see your skills within the work you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe. All the time go after your heart.
Wizards don’t need guns…Looking at a Light amplified Picture of a basilik would petrify you…good luck getting out of that without magic…ever tried to hit someone who wouldn’t stop moving…now imagine that if they turned into smoke…There are death eaters in America. The Americans just seem to blame any disasters on Developing middle eastern nations and The death eaters get away with it… good luck firing a bullet when you don’t have a gun…one Accio and you are out of luck. Magic beats reality 8 times out of ten. Unless you want to Die…don’t listen to an American. Look at some other stupid things they say: http://strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/travel.html
I rest My case and may Dumbledore Have mercy on your soul.
yeaaah… im not gonna read that. thats to much
Do it. Read the whole thing. Unless you are opposed to laughter.
Indeed.
Hillarity be encased within as well as a chocolate filling for your soul
I’m opposed to Harry Potter as I don’t have a mooing mangina.
*hopescrushed*
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Impatient mooing mangina.
MOOOOO!
Who’s there?
Ringo Starr’s most complex drum solo!
Badum-tish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!
Inception!
*Drumception!*
Hey! Hey! Ringo is a great drummer! :@
He’s pretty good, but he’s really not any better than the average drummer now, it’s simply a difference in time periods, he played different bag then and stood out but now, it’s pretty average
sucking chest wounds make me laugh
Does it remind you of school, thus scaring you into hiding?
His brain hurts, shh…
I think the postman intercepts everything I try and send to you
‘Cause he’s infatuated, and he’s the fulcrum between us two
And I can’t say I blame him, ’cause I’d cheat a priest just to get to you.
And I don’t mind that she gets hammered and goes home with other guys
There’s no jealousy ’cause she’s Little Miss Pipedream Fantasy
I saw her slam back tequila’s like Oliver Reed on an Irish stag do
And I’ll wait if you stay because foggy London town’s not built for me or you
Don’t leave Miss Pipedream ’cause I love you!
And I don’t mind that she gets hammered and goes home with other guys
There’s no jealousy, though she’ll grind it out with friends but not with me
Oh, she’s my Little Pipedream Fantasy
Fannk’es..
too*
tooo*
tueo*
2*
Combo breaker!!
Zwei!
Due!
lazy ppl surfing the internet cant read more than a paragraph b4 getting bored. but they take time to post a reply
LOL!
Well hello there.
Why, I don’t believe we’ve met.
What is LOL?
What is LOL
Baby, U jelly?
U jelly?
Okay. ♫
LOL = Laugh Out Loud
Yeah, I really don’t get these, so I shouldn’t even bother.
It’s a joke
Thank you SO much, Ben.
It’s also a book. Unless you’re saying you didn’t see him in person, in which case I have to tell you that he is fictional.
Oh just nuke the whole thing!
nuke ‘em from orbit.. it’s the only way to be sure.
Game over man, game over
Maybe we could build a fire, sing a couple of songs, huh? Why don’t we try that?
They mostly come out at night. Mostly.
Quickly! Man the Sub-Orbital Ion Cannons. Or if you have a planet to retreat to, use the MD device on that sh*t
Dr. Device! You, sir (or ma’am, since it’s somewhat difficult to tell!), win teh intarwebz today – I believe this is the first I’ve seen an Ender reference used in general conversation. Like, ever.
And You Sir, Win +1000Intarwebz for recognizing an Ender reference!
If that’s true, you’re hanging with the wrong crowd, sir.
Remember, the enemy’s gate is down!
reference win!
In this case though, be sure they didn’t hide a chrysalis somewhere on a colony world. We don’t want another false Xenocide accusation.
Spy Check!
Goddamnit…
… They’re on to us, run! O_o
There is no way out.
Turrets and pyros everywhere.
I approve of you, sir.
I am approved?
Now all I need to be is child-safe.
I think I love you for making an Ender’s Game reference.
Aliens reference FTW.
Aliens reference FTW.
The firt time I tried to post this some random error made me reply a few posts below. Really, Cheezburger?
And now the sYSTEM suddenly fixes it so I make a double-posting fool of myself? REALLY, CHEEZBURGER? I’M GOING TO SET FIRE ON YOUR SERVERS!
Not good enough! Destroy the internet!
With fire
WITH COMBUSTIBLE LEMONS
YEAH! BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN! I like this guy!
I did what you see there.
There’s an app for that.
But orange has a point…
Meh. TL;DR
Agreed. tl;dr.
It was worth a while you lazy pigeons.
I agree with Bri, agreeing with apropos, that this was TL;DR
You should have read it, it’s funny
Its only funny if yur gay. Tldr
Just read it you lazy anal dwelling butt monkeys.
Clap on, clap off, clap on clap off- The Clapper™
whut?
From Bruce Almighty (btw that movie is EPIC !)
Also: “Flying in the night on brooms is the safest way to travel”
umm NO
Bring a gazilion tanks and airforce and spi planes and helicopters and navel forces and travel in brought day light you stupid mother efers
This comment is b-e-a-utiful.
I thought you went away to nuke Chinese, or some such.
Your gay, your argument is invalid. Thus you must now read the post
what a bunch of lazy sods.
this is some brilliant sh*t.
I’m printing it and putting it on my gorram fridge you fargin lazy bastages!
Thank you for that reference, that’s my favorite show. Too bad it was canceled.
Johnny Dangerously: The Series
Starring Nathan Fillion as Johnny Dangerously and Joe Piscopo as Shepherd Book.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-popular-phrases-that-make-you-look-like-idiot/
Oh my god. I have never seen this article before. You (and the writer and publisher, naturally) are my greatest hero(es). I just wish this article weren’t so long; the very people who need to read it and feel stupid might TL;DR it…
Genius!
and yet you have an ipad
Ron should have an rpg.
nah…automatic shotgun with explosive rounds alternating with pumpkin balls, and .000 buck.
That should cover most contingencies.
Keep Hermione in the shadows with a sniper rifle and a silver bullet to pick off Greyback.
Strap some C4 to Dobby.
classic mental image there
Gingers don’t get weapons.
How, exactly, is this a fail? This is obviously a WIN.
“Failbook – Funny Facebook Status Messages” -.-
there are three categories in Failbook. Fail, Win, and Meh
This constitutes a Win
n1
It’s actually a fail because magic cancels out technology in the HP series. Guns just wouldn’t work around Voldemort.
Fail.
Magic screws up electricity and electronics in the series. Guns rely on mechanics and chemistry. There’s no reason why they shouldn’t work.
Get a big honking .50 cal elephant gun and snipe deatheaters from half a mile away, that’s my advice.
night goggle’s wouldn’t have worked.
besides. they would just say the disarming spell in their head, so the gunwielder wouldn’t know they were being disarmed until the gun flew out of their hands.
Yeah, there were only two major flaws I saw with it. Night vision goggles was one. Looking directly at basilisk eyes=death. Looking at reproduced image (picture, reflection, etc.)= paralysis and unconsciousness. You’d need to be shooting blind. The other thing is what you mentioned, but that’s easily remedied. There’s like 30+ Order of the Phoenix right? Just arm them all and work in teams.
Yeah, a wizard could disarm a muggle, but if the shot’s already off, are they quick enough to get rid of the bullet?
If magic screws up electricity how does the flying ford car in chamber of secrets start without a a battery or spark plug?
Magic. Duh.
Lets not forget that the car was just a little bid modified by Arthur Weasly.
If magic screwed up chemistry so badly that gunpowder no longer burned rapidly, imagine what it would do to the delicate, complex dance of proteins and amino acids within each of our body’s cells, without which we cannot live.
In other words: Either guns work, or Dumbledore dies a hell of a lot sooner than book 6.
^wingardium This-iosa.
Dude. Spoiler alert.
u mad?
HP is set in the UK and is a pure FANTASY series. The author gets to set the rules – Thus, no guns.
For an entertaining series of STORIES involving the use of both magic and technology, check out Jim Butcher. His Dresden Files mixes action and fantasy and is set in Chicago, USA – Thus, guns.
But for arguments sake, we can explore the issue of firearms vs magic.
The issue is that many of the magical creatures and practitioners have the abilities to phase shift and teleport – allowing projectiles to pass through or to move out of the way.
They also have telekinetic powers that would allow them to mess with mechanical mechanisms.
As for those that argue that disabling gunpowder without killing someone would violate the rules of physics and biology:
You do realize the series features time-travel, teleportation, telekinesis, chimeras and mythological creatures, don’t you?
When you write your own book you can make up your own rules.
Good fantasy must have consistent rules. If wood burns as it normally does regardless of “magic auras” or any other such nonsense; if certain chemical reactions are suppressed as a rule for entirely arbitrary reasons while others are not, they it may well be fantasy. But it’s not GOOD fantasy.
This would hardly be the first time someone has observed that Rowling’s world-building leaves very much to be desired, of course. Her magic system is laughably silly. Writers of fanfic — this is at bottom an example of it — may be excused for doing their level best to fix it.
Disagree. Magic doesn’t need to follow physics just be consistent for a story to be good.
Her magic is consistent – she never mentions guns or this silly debate.
Her magic is sh!t. It’s about the worst-conceived system I’ve ever encountered in fantasy.
That she never seems to have even considered this case is just another example of how bad it is.
She at least makes a few attempts to explain stuff, like why you can make literally anything appear at no cost to anyone except for food, money, and some other things I don’t know. The main thing that was terrible was the energy usage system. She kept talking about how tired (insert name) is and how (insert name) can’t keep up this spellwork much longer. I thought the Inheritance cycle had an excellent system. Speaking of which, http://shurtugal.com/2011/03/23/inheritance-book-4-title-announced-releases-november-8th/ You’re welcome.
“She at least makes a few attempts to explain stuff”
No, she doesn’t explain it. She simply states you can’t. There’s absolutely nothing special about food or money as physical stuff, and she doesn’t take the trouble to distinguish it magically either. It’s necessary as a plot device, or else the Weasleys can’t be poor and there would be no point to buying anything, but it’s arbitrary and poorly thought out.
Thank you for that last piece of information, good sir.
Like Monkey Face would have said, Imma put my finger up my butthole and allow you to smell it!
And what, pray tell, would be your shining example of magic that is not, as you say, s**t?
Magnets.
You must not read, like, books. Try it someday. You might like it.
Actually J.K. Rowling said herself that “In a fight between a Muggle with a shotgun and a wizard with a wand, the Muggle will win.”
This is a moot point.
We’re not talking about 1 muggle with a shotgun. We’re talking about a well-coordinated assault with automatic weapons.
although i would agree that it wouldn’t need to follow physics if it were a fantasy world like middle earth, HP takes place on modern day earth where the muggle world is pretty much like our own
“Middle Earth” is NOT a no-rules fantasy world. It’s THIS world, in an imaginary time, and it very much follows the rules of physics. (“Magic” there is exceptionally rare.) Tolkien even took care to coordinate the phases of the moon with what they’d be in the real world, by picking a “similar” year’s almanac.
In fact, NO well-constructed fantasy world ignores the laws of physics.
actually the word gun is mentioned in her 4th book with sirus black at the start of the book
i’d like to put up a counter arguement to one point. In order to phase shift or teleport, one would have to willingly activate whatever spell before you can actually use it. That being said, if one with said power were to be sniped, they would never know the bullet was coming and thus wouldn’t be able to activate said powers in time to protect themselves. Since bullets travel faster than the speed of sound, the target would not be aware of the bullet headed towards their direction. The last thing going through their brain wouldn’t be “oh i’ve been shot”. It would be the bullet.
all of this assuming that air and sound hold the same properties in the fantasy world as they do here, but thats a whole other argument.
Yes, and Star Wars and Star Trek are set in two totally different universes at two totally different time periods.
You really think that stops fans of either series from comparing them???
Goddamn it. Why do you all think there are no firearms in England? I have one, as do my neighbours on both sides. One of them infact has enough firepower to take down a small army.
As far as we know, Voldemort’s never been shot with a gun of any kind, so we don’t know for sure.
uhm if that would be true….they would all be dead since our brain and our nerves are relying on electricity. just saying
over course when regular combustion ballistics are enhanced with charms or imbued with some sort of magic dissolving items of some sort it can really go against things that have no corporeal form such as death eaters
Because of the fact that he thinks night vision goggles will save you from a basilisk because “you’re looking at a picture of it.” Doesn’t anyone remember that this is what petrified the people? Sure it didn’t kill them, but even looking at the reflection/image of a basilisk petrifies you.
I stopped reading there, because he clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Too likely not to have a fail and instead be a lame attempt at humor; didn’t read.
TLNTHAFAIBALAAH;DR
dam y’all are some lazy people.
This comment was too long; I didn’t read it.
But… That comment was longer than the previous.
Comment I’m typing now is t
Ok that made me lolirl.
Thank you.
You’re an idiot.
…I hope that wasn’t too long for you to read.
i can’t believe I read the entire thing…. wish someone would put their finger in someones butthole and make them smell it or something…
The whole thing falls apart when Harry gets petrified for looking at a picture of the basilisk.
What if they pixelate it out, like in a Showtime movie?
Where does he do that? Looking at the reflection of the eyes petrifies you, so just use a sonar scanner with an opaque HUD when you expect it to be around. After all, a bloody big lizard is easy to spot from a distance…
well, it obviously was not easy to spot if he got so many different people, AND a ghost!!!
Also, that happens in the SECOND book/movie, not the first one.
You gotta hand it to her, it would funny.
Maybe an idea for a parody?
Be looking for “Dirty Harry Potter” on fanfiction.net – I’ve got a buddy already working on it.
Google “Spellbook of Desires”.
it exists. search harry potter guns.
england has a military too, but evidently this idiot hasn’t heard about it.
And if hagrid in the first book was all ‘lily and james die in a car crash? as if’ it’s likely wizards are immune to bullets.
I’m not really sure how you made that connection. Just because he said “As if” doesn’t mean they’d be immune to being t-Boned by a double decker bus(or whatever kind of car crash). If they don’t see it coming they can’t prepare for it.
they could just apparate away
I just apparated your mum.
you too?
Might be funny, but it’s just way too long for me to care about. thumbs down.
Oh, puh-leease. If you can’t read a post that long, you need to go back to second grade, people.
I will laugh at the parody based on this. It’ll be epic.
Dude, stop it with the butt-smelling… U NO MONKEY-FACE
U NO reply correctly.
your correction was incorrect as well
Tl;dl
So, my roommate called Harry Potter “Hairy Pootie” by accident last week. That’s the first thing I thought of when I read the title of this post.
*dr
Grr! Aargh!
Too long;didn’t long.
Too long; didn’t lead?
Who’s Harry Potter?
He’s the guy I get my stuff from.
Probably the best post ever.
Agreed.
I want to find this guy and marry him….
Wouldn’t looking at the Basilisk through night vision goggles still petrify you though?
in book 4, Hermione mentioned that the omnipresent magical era of Hogwarts negates technology (so yes to your question). But guns would still work, because they are simply blunt instruments.
No, no they would not. Magic shorts out anything muggle-made. Today’s guns wouldn’t work.
Rowling made it so this theory wouldn’t work a long time ago and I’m tired of people thinking that they are genius for coming up with it. These are the same people that do the ‘why didn’t Frodo just ride the eagles into Mordor?’
READ THE BOOKS AND FIND OUT, PEOPLE.
Because LotR would be a lot shorter? Because Gandalf was sick and tired of the younger generation, always lookin’ for shortcuts instead of pulling themselves up by their bootstraps and doing things the hard way? Why, when he was a young wizard, you wanted to throw a magic ring in a volcano you’d grab a shovel and a start a diggin’ until you hit magma, take a deep breath, jump in and swim to the volcano, climb out and then throw the ring back and spit on it. I tell ya, the kids these days have ruined Middle Earth…
And then walk home up hill in 10 inches of snow with no shoes.
Both ways.
Carrying your baby brother on your back.
I always thought it was because the Nazgul had some sort of dragonlike flying mounts with a high probability of intercepting and killing the smaller giant eagles.
But the 9 Riders didn’t get their Nazgul (the names of those dragon like flying mounts) until after their horses had been killed. The real reason I’ve heard that the Eagles didn’t want to help out because they didn’t really care to get involved.
*is ashamed to be a Middle Earth nerd* but hey at least I hate those fvckin’ awful LoTR movies
it shorts out anything mugggle-made? even stuff that doesn’t run on electricity? Then wouldn’t Hermione and any other muggle-born wizards just fall over dead since they were made by muggles?
i like to think the main reason for no technology this is simple pride, all wizards seem to think that muggles are foolish, so they probably never consider that their tech could be any use to a wizard.
Chuck, let me introduce you to Arthur Weasley.
His car runs on magic, not electricity. Yes, he likes plugs and all of that and I’m sure he experiments with them, but he relies on magic to do so.
The general rule of thumb is that magic cancels out any muggle-made (or whatever the preferred term for the series) artifacts or guns. Hermione is a person, and a magical person at that, not an artifact.
Guns can be “shorted” now? Do tell!
READ THE THREAD AND FIND OUT, PERSON.
Guns use chemistry and mechanics, not electricity. Magic screws up electricity. (If it screwed up mechanics, muggle watches wouldn’t work in Hogworts, but they do. If it screwed up chemistry, fire wouldn’t burn in Hogworts. But it does.)
But while it is true that a gun would be better than combat magic in a one on one fight, there is defensive magic that can trump guns, like the spells that Hermione cast around their camp every day to keep people out. Spells like that would stop a wizard from being seen as well as from being hit.
There are also probably some shield charms that can block bullets, (assuming protago can’t). So have fun shooting an animated suit of armour that’s advancing on you while a wizard blasts you with spells.
Also, anything short of a nuke probably wouldn’t be able to destroy a horcrux, so you’ll need to spawn camp voldemort for eternity.
I can’t believe you people are stating this crp as if it’s some kind of Universal Law.
This is a fictional work by a talented author that gets to make her own rules for how magic works in her fictional universe.
Get a life!
*untalented
You are entitled to your opinion. Millions of others, including many scholars and “serious” authors, would disagree.
IMHO she may not be a Tolstoy but she is definitely talented.
Popularity =/= quality, as just about any “serious” author knows.
Think of the bestselling authors you know of: Rowling, King, Crichton, Steele, Koontz, Meyer. I guarantee you that for each of them there are at least a thousand other authors who are every bit as good or better, who simply did not win the crapshoot of getting picked up by an editor, published, and then noticed by the general public.
Oh God, Meyer. ESPECIALLY Meyer. If ever there was a counterexample to your puerile assertion that popularity implied quality, or even the tiniest mote of authorial talent, it’s her.
I am a huge bibliophile and I have a masters in English. I do note, however, that this is the Internet and my credentials are instantly null- BUT Rowling is a very good writer. Her books are very entertaining and well-written.
But you are right, quality does not popularity; Rowling simply excelled in both elements. It should be mentioned, however, that hexezeichen meant that many qualified authors see the Harry Potter series as something profound, not that popularity instantly means quality.
Yet, if many great and qualified authors have deemed a work as something great and you are the only one in the red, then this is simply a matter of opinion.
And yes, Meyer blows big balls.
I find myself unable to post a substantive reply to this. No idea why.
You keep seeming to miss my post that guns are always included in the ‘no technology around magic’ rule, dude. I believe I pointed out before that all muggle-made objects that rely on any sort of chemical reaction or electricity are easily ‘shorted-out’ or shut down by magic. Guns are always included in this scenario.
For example, in the Abhorson Trilogy, any technology or man-made weapons requiring such a reaction failed to work near the old world because of magical interference. Guns were included in this.
That’s to ignore the fact that Voldemort could ‘see’ that Harry was bringing a gun and ruin the gun before Harry even got there with the thing.
And *you* keep missing the point that, if true, this is evidence of very poor world-building. It’s something she pulled out of her a$$ to avoid this kind of scenario from the start. It doesn’t rise out of anything in particular about her magic system. In any event I don’t recall her ever mentioning Muggle chemistry, only Muggle electronics.
I’ve never heard of the Abhorsen Trilogy, but from what I can see on Amazon’s “Read it now” I’m not impressed. Stilted writing and a main character with all marks of the loathsome Mary Sue. Do not want.
But on this subject I’ll even fault Zelazny, a fantasy author whose work I admire above almost all others, for pulling the same gunpowder stunt in his Amber series, although at least in that case the apologist can find an internally consistent reason for it. It’s a bit of a stretch, but it’s there. Not so with most of Rowling’s arbitrary rules.
One cannot simply ride an eagle into Mordor
I QWOP’d into Mordor once…
EXACTLY. SO MANY FLAWS IN HIS ARGUMENT!
oh no! Just like a fiction story that takes place in a world different from our own, huh?
no its a picture of whats infront of you and not looking at whats infornt of you. you cant see through them but just look at a display.
it’d still petrify but not kill, the same way that seeing the reflection or looking through the camera might do so – that’s the reason nobody died in the first place, because they weren’t looking at it directly.
Oh, plus if they’re electronic they wouldn’t work in hogwarts anyway
not unless you use a faraday cage
Yeah and that would petrify you. Looking at the Basilisk directly kills you but looking at its reflection/image petrifies you.
Yes, it would. Indirect views can still petrify you. That’s what happened to Colin Creevey (through his camera) and whoever looked at it through Nearly Headless Nick.
On a random note, I still find it amusing that since Nick couldn’t die again, they just petrified him anyway and called it a day.
FINALLY. I was hoping I’d see someone point that out. Night-vision goggle logic = fail
Okay, I can’t believe I’m about to say this and display my nerdiness…. Colin’s camera wasn’t digital, and looking at something through lenses (like your glasses) *isn’t* the same as looking at an *image* of it (like on a television screen, but in your goggles).
On a side note, the Doctor Who writers solved that little loophole by making *images* of the angels *turn into* angels. DON’T BLINK.
Win. <3 Doctor Who. <3
I love how Amy brought up the idea that it's incredibly difficult to not blink, and winked one eye at a time to get around it. That bugged me the first time around, in the episode with Sally Sparrow.
It’s pretty obvious none of you know real magic.
I summon: Expellitaxcollector!
And they all owed me for the rest of their life.
Like a good neighbor, tax collector is there?
actually, i remember the film in the camera was destroyed, so it probably do the same to the NV camera before it’d transmit the image. Thus you’d probably wouldn’t get paralyzed because you wouldn’t see the basilisk
THANK YOU
Would looking at a TV with an image of a basilisk turn one to stone?
And Voldemort should have ‘accioed’ Harry’s glasses, then the fight would have been over.
Oh, wow…interesting….
Laser eye surgery > all the magic in the entire HP world, apparently.
If you believe the no-gunpowder people, Harry should have gone blind as soon as he stepped onto Hogwarts grounds. Muggle science doesn’t work there, and prescription eyeglasses are products of Muggle science.
ugh, muggles
And then Harry Potter would be an entirely different novel. And it would suck.
More or less than it already does?
Predictable comment is predictable.
it sucked would have been a lot better w/ guns
It would be better w boobs
Your avatar makes you look like you’re whining, which only enhances your pining for boobs
TL;DR
Anyways, this is not a facebook post. U cannot post more than 420 characters. This is too long to be true on FB. FAIL!
Um….ever heard of a thing called “notes?”
1. Notes never show the profile picture like it shown in the screenshot above.
2. The notes section is much wider than it is shown here.
3. Notes never say “updated via MyPad for iPad”
It could be a fan page post. Zombie Apocalypse Preparation, at least, always has really long posts.
Ok, is it even possible for this to be someones status??? I thought that facebook had a limit of 400-odd characters for a status!?
“Chalita says:
April 28, 2011 at 8:28 am
Um….ever heard of a thing called “notes?””
“Anurag says:
April 28, 2011 at 10:14 am
1. Notes never show the profile picture like it shown in the screenshot above.
2. The notes section is much wider than it is shown here.
3. Notes never say “updated via MyPad for iPad””
Again…….
It could be a fan page’s post….
Repello Bulletus! Now all bullets bounce off me. Magic always beats science, because magic makes up its own rules.
Not really, because in the 5 seconds it took you to whip out your wand and say that, some redneck has pulled the trigger three times and blown your brains all over the pavement… Sad, but true.
but, as soon as he saw the redneck with a gun, he made the incantation in his head.
Or he could have cast it in the morning and made so it lasts all day?
…Right that’s it, I’m off to have sex with girls now, you guys have fun.
Don’t forget to protect your magic wand, Dan.
Expecto Trojanus!
^WIN.
Not trying to sound like the ultimate HP geek here, but he went into the bathroom wall in the second movie, not the first…
Then I (along with quite a few other people) must’ve completely imagined that scene with the Troll in the bathroom….
I don’t believe Harry ever went down any drains or plumbing of any kind in the first film. Read the OP’s sentence, then NL’s sentence, then form your argument.
It doesn’t say anything about drains or plumbing, it says hole, referencing the hole that the breech charge has just made. So the description is consistent with the troll incident. Also, dropping a flashbang down the hole that leads to the Chamber of Secrets is useless because it would detonate before it ever got to the bottom.
There isn’t any reference to drains or plumbing of any kind used in reference to the “breeching charge on the bathroom wall” part.
Read the OP’s sentence, then NL’s sentence, then Stain’s sentence, then form your argument.
Teh Keeper™ Hath Spoken!
That was awesome but someone spent too much time thinking about this O_O
inb4 finger in butt jokes
nope
tl;dr
And yet you seem to have the time to come on here and inform us all that you didn’t read it…
yep, takes much less effort and is more self-serving
exactly. that’s why im here to do the same thing.
i came here to do that too.
you can always tell when someone has gone through some sort of military training
Yep, it’s called growing up south of the Mason-Dixon line…
I thought this is just what happens when your parents give you unjacketed rounds to use as a pacifier.
+1 Internets
The important thing to note is that he or she typed all of that out on an iPad! I’m impressed.
Harry didn’t go to the Chamber of Secrets through the bathroom in the first movie. That was #2. And yes, I get the “#2/bathroom” thing.
Hey, y’all check out my nerd card!
Where is the Chamber of Secrets mentioned in that context in the post?? It was a more than obvious reference to when they beat the Troll in the bathroom in the first movie.
*FAIL nerd card
I hope you mean “y’all” ironically… >_O
This is clearly nonsense. It’s clearly stated many times throughout the series that only things that have been destroyed using magic are irreparable with magic. I’m pretty sure any wound would be treatable, assuming muggle weaponry had any sort of effect on wizards’ bodies.
Even if they were at danger from muggle weaponry, the first instance of a weapon being used on a wizard would surely prompt all wizards to permanantly enchant themselves with a simple anti-weaponry spell, thereby eliminating the element of danger that our weapons would pose.
Face it, wizards are just better than us.
Exactly, we couldn’t burn them during the Inquisition in the HP world, why would we be able to shoot them?
And who says shooting is faster than a spell? You don’t actually need to say the words to cast the spell, so the spell could be faster than the gun, and even if they did say the words, wouldn’t you have to be just as fast to defend yourself as when you’re defending yourself from another spell? The person with the gun would be easily disarmed and be then defenseless against the other one holding a wand, because the former wouldn’t have the time to pick up his wand, even if he had one.
Silly muggles, thinking they can take down wizards with their silly guns!
Bullets are supersonic. Assuming a concealed weapon of some sort, you literally would be dead before you knew you’d been shot at.
Not with anything out of a pistol. A 45 ACP round is subsonic. You can shoot a target at 600 yards and have time to set the pistol down and pick up your binoculars to watch it hit.
“wizard” logic is awesome, “nuh uh, we’d just make a general spell so you couldnt do that!” if you could make an *anti gun* spell, couldnt you just make one against other spells? or against wands? as for disarming, thats why you always carry two guns!
Actually, it’s also stated you can’t revive the dead into their former state, and I think forced removal and dispersion of the brain into a fine pink mist pretty much constitutes dead.
And even if they made themselves immune to bullets/bulletproof, we have plenty of other weapons.
Explosives, for example: they’re not weapons, as such, despite the overpressure being enough to rupture every blood vessel in the brain.
Radiation: might be slow, but if you hit them with a large enough dose, they should die before their medics figure out what’s wrong, and it’ll be hilarious to see them go through all their counter-curses to find none works.
Asphyxiation: a fuel-air explosion removes the oxygen faster than the wizard can say “Oh shi-”. No time for a counterspell.
And anyway, if only magical damage is irreparable, then why do wizards need to fear falling from great heights, or just damage in general? Why didn’t Alastor get a new eye when he lost the original? There’s a limit to what can be healed, apparently.
logic/science win
More like logic/science fail. He managaed to provide counter-arguements to his arguements in a single post.
Harry Potter is a man of magic, not a main character of a sh*tty shooter game. magic>guns.
Not when it comes to efficacy.
At killing, anyway.
obviously. hence the absurdly low bodycount in the HP series. as opposed to, say, 5 minutes of a Tarantino or Rodriguez flick.
Well, obviously the reason so many people died in Tarantino movies is because they were muggles and didn’t have a goddamn wand to defend themselves.
It’s a children’s book!!!
Dirty harry isn’t a sh*tty shooter game he’s a cop from an ill serious of movies. Clint Eastwood would break you in half.
RORY
(屮ﾟДﾟ)屮
Y U SO SIRIUS?
cyrus?
cryusness here?
ahh I spelled series wrong, lol.
Still: Clint Eastwood > G@y magic fairy boy
Who will live longer?
A guy with guns
Or a magical kid that can turn the universe inside out just by waving his wand and saying a few words?
THE REAL Dirty Harry is still alive and kickin after N years. and he would still scare dem damn kids off the lawn (i loved Gran Torino)
He never scared me off the lawn as a kid. I feel either like a hipster or like i’m left-out.
Goddamn zipperhead!
I see what you did there…
she even mentions guns in the book :/
wizards could easily arm themselves with guns, just accio next to a military police depot or baracks, as if anyone could say proteo fast enough to stop a bullet…
also, in star wars, if they used metal bullets, the jedi would block with their lightsaber, the bullet would get melted and the jedi would get a face full of molten metal
*protego
True, but a metal bullet would be simple enough to deflect using the Force. It would be quite easy, since its moving several times slower than the beams of light they’re used to blocking!
Not just that… don’t light sabers work with magnetic fields or something… those powerful magnetic fields would simply deflect or reflect the bullets before they touch the light saber
don’t spoil my dreams of jedi’s with faces full of molten lead! :O
Qui-Gon could feel the heat emanating from his young padawan’s large, powerful lightsaber. Tenderly, he reached out with the force…
Those kinds of dreams?
Stop, you’re getting me excited…
I sense a disturbance in my pants…
Only in some bizarro world where lead is magnetic.
*facepalm*
Lead is a conductor. As a conductor passes through a magnetic field, it creates an electric charge in the conductor. A electrical charge passing through a magnetic field creates a force on the charge in a direction determined by the motion of the charge and the direction of the magnetic field.
The lead would be defected if there were a large enough magnetic field.
Wow. You’ve, managed to, like, totally misunderstand that.
It reminds me of this one freshman engineering student I knew, whose head was not quite in the same place as everyone else’s. His stated ambition on becoming an engineer was, and I quote, to “invent the lightsaber.” How, we asked? Again I quote, “Simply combine a laser with a cathode ray tube!”
Facepalm, indeed.
They do, but only in so far as magnetism is used to direct an energy beam through lenses. The blades are plasma.
cutting steak with spoons…..I did frekin’ lol the h3ll outa that one 0-o
Ehehehe ‘gun control means voldermort wins’ this should be their new slogan! Original Harry potter fans are 25ish now, totally old enough to get a gun. Not I’m my country.. Only farmers and people with vigorous back-checks and a safe that’s securely bolted to the house which must be owned and not rented and a gun license and access to a farm or some acreage with written consent from the owner and hold a valid membership at a shooting gallery, breath, can have guns in my country. Oh and the po po.
Err yeah I’m an original Harry Potter fan and I’m 16 :p
I think Mo means people who read HP&tS(P)S when it first came out, 1997-1998 or so, depending on where you were.
Original fan implies that you read the first book before the second book came out. If this is true of you, you had great reading skills for someone so young. In that case, I applaud you.
I am an original fan too! I’m 19… My grandma read my siblings and me the books. So you don’t ACTUALLY have had to read the books yourself
For all those with the tl;dr, G_D this is epic. So funny, and so true. I would see that parody a hundred times if it is ever made.
Oh God. This will be like “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies”. Only worse.
Why have an original idea if you can just ruin a great one that already exists?
Because zombies.
^^This.
So much win.
Classic Americans thinking all problems can be solved with guns. And in Britain we do hunt deer, play GTA and I do own several knives which may be used to cut steak.
↑THIS
Now I am off to attack Britain with my stuff I’ve stolen from the Österreichischen Bundesheer and some former Eastern bloc countries’ armies.
also. i’ve been on exchange to america, and what did they use to cut their meat? a fork.
I cut my steak with a gun
I lol’d
Americans use knives to cut their meat. Where the hell in America were you?
Of course most problems can be solved with a gun. The person bothering you can’t do much from the other side…well, unless they’re Gandalf or some sh*t. No, our problem is, is solving the problem with a gun the best action?
The post honestly sounds more like a joke than anything…I think he meant to use the common “gun-toting Americans” stereotype on purpose. That’s part of the point…or at least that’s how I interpreted it.
Eugh, another pathetic Harry Potter fan coming up with his own little wizard fantasy because he has no friends. How i pity him.
I would actually watch the Harry Potter movies if they were made this way,lol.
TL;DR
If Harry had shot Voldemort, he wouldn’t have died himself, therefore the Horcrux would still be there, therefore Voldemort wouldn’t fully die.
Hence, spawn camping.
I’m confused. If it’s just “seeing” a basilisk that hurts you, why don’t people just close their eyes and cast spells of echo-location? Because clearly, hearing it doesn’t hurt you…
Looking into the eyes of a basilisk will kill you, anything indirect will petrify you. That’s why he could look at it when the baskilisks eyes were gouged.
But having his huge teeth inject the deadliest existent poison into your body will probably hurt, which is what I would do if I were a basilisk and saw some idiot wizard stumbling around casting spells at random things trying to get me.
Maybe they taste foul.
Considering we never saw Harry even take a bath until GoF, he probably tasted most foul.
heheh
Haha the final one-liner is hilarious!
Hilarious. I want to friend this kid. Awesome stuff. He should have worked in a benelli m2 in there somewhere and it would be perfect. You need the benelli for when you are riding your broom, and need to take someone out like a clay skeet.
Additionally, while guns might or might not be effective- land mines and other remote-detonated charges would certainly be useful, at least as a diversionary measure. I mean, especially in those big duel-things, there seems to be an awful lot of concentration. I would imagine somebody would barely notice the plastic explosive behind that tombstone…
Though to be quite honest, I’d imagine that Voldemort could possibly be better at such things- allowing him to just level Hogwarts with artillery and be done with it. Kind of like how Corwin storms the keep in The Guns of Avalon. Though in that case, we might as well just make movies based on The Chronicles of Amber, which is a far superior series in the first place…
Wow…that was lame…
Agreed.
Why hello there, glitch matrix brother.
AMAZING
I lol’d. For realz. I can see somebody making a parody of HP now, involving the poor HP kid wielding a gun. Or, have him carry both the gun and the wand on his person to see which has the better killing effect.
LOLFAIL.
At first I was like: “tl;dr”
Then I looked at comments and thought I’d give it a shot…
Now I’m wishing I could get those 2 minutes of my life back, not funny and lamest thing I’ve ever read, only funny to Harry Potter fanboys.
F@$# YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone move this to the Harry Potter fanfic section please. It’s not a “funny Facebook status message” — it’s just a harry potter fanfic pitch-presentation, posted on someone’s notes. Laaaame!
This person should get their facts straight before they go off on a rant about how much better Harry Potter would be if it were exactly like all of the crappy shooting death games so many mentally deficient people play today.
Horcruxes can’t be destroyed with non-magical mechanical means. Just saying.
Nobody seems to get that a Barret would be nailing said Dark Lord at a distance of up to 2 miles. I don’t think he’d see that coming…
irate HP fanboy comment-”maybe he can hear faster than the speed of sound.”
You know where they used guns against magical creatures?
Final Fantasy VIII.
You know what game sucked ass?
As Cave Johnson says: “We’re done here.”
I’d hardly call a gunblade a gun… most of the time they just slash at them (which makes no sense… you would break you finger holding it)
hate them gunblades… at least FF13 makes it work better… lightning actually changes it to hold it completely differently when shooting.
doesn’t Cid use some guns?
I must meet this person,, befriend them, and reward them with +100 internets!
where is Tizzle?
WTAFIT?
I got blow’d away by them thar tornadoes!!! Oh noes!
Actually, here’s how it should have ended:
Voldemort starts killing everyone. Dumbledore uses his time-turning device (seen in HP3), kills young Voldemort. Done.
Time-turners can only take you back a few hours.
Too messy. The issues with the time turner are too dangerous. Its space time continuum crap. The truth is a time machine only helps you gather evidence and knowledge about your enemy. If you just use it to jump back in time and kill them when they are you, your future will have a whole NEW enemy (Yes, there will be someone ELSE who rises to power in Voldy’s place. Human nature does not escape the Wizarding World, after all.) In addition, there will be new victims, a new chosen one, and you might come back to your future just in time to realize that you already died. That aside, Dumbledore would never have made it back to the future. The time turner puts the current you in the previous time. There is nothing to suggest that your age reverts when you use it. Dumbledore, at his current age, would be jumping back roughly 30 years or so. He would then be forced to live out that extent of time in order to return. The time turner turns time backward. The forward progression happens simultaneously to the original space in time, so as to create a closed loop. The result would be a much older Dumbledore probably dying before the loop was ever complete, in which case the time turner could potentially be forever lost in time (though it would most likely end up buried in the room of requirment.)
when they are young*
lolwut
WELCOME TO NERDAPALOOZA! Pocket protectors on your left, tape for your glasses on the right. The LARPing will begin in 20 minutes!
I CAST FLARE!
FIRE OF WRATH!
Thank you, kindly gentleman. Time enough for a spot of Mountain Dew…
I’m pretty sure you could pull out every gun imaginable to save your life and still have your soul nommed by a single dementor, let alone 15. You can’t just shoot everything. This is the quintessential problem with the Black Ops obsession. The true medium between Harry Potter and Call of Duty is probably somewhere around God of War for the PS2, if only there were some sort of multiplayer capability involved.
+1 internets
It’s not so much TL;DR as it is HP;DC;DR
(Harry Potter; don’t care, didn’t read)
Or HP;IG;DR
(Harry Potter; is g@y; didn’t read)
TL;DR
Hmmm….
Could it be perhaps that Europeans are civilized enough to not allow citizens (the same idiots who end up on these fail sites) have guns?
Also, kind of missed half the point of the books. They’re the good guys. They overcame Voldemort without ever using the torture curse. They wouldn’t use guns if they had access to them.
yeah i love it when my govt doesn’t allow me to defend myself or my family too. because you know criminals always obey the law
Just a coincidence then, that the US has eighteen times the homicides committed with guns per population than Germany while only having five times the population? (US has 10k homicide with guns/annum while Germany has about 5k _crimes with guns_/annum).
Admittedly: it IS difficult for a government to protect its citizens froms its citizens when anybody can own a gun.
You must be excluding the 1940s
Using a gun for defense doesn’t mean shooting someone. It can be as simple as turning to face someone, and reaching around your back like you are ready to unholster your own weapon.
You also realize, that you are no more than about 300 miles from the Atlantic, Med, or North sea, at any point in Europe? Texas is over 800 miles east to west, and it is nearly as far across Montana. If I drove 600 miles, east or west from here, I’d still only cross one state line.
Switzerland and Harry’s use of the Cruciatus Curse on Bellatrix Lestrange and Amycus Carrow.
tl;dr
GTA was made in Leeds
You know, instead of facepalming at exactly how uneducated and dull-headed people have to be to ever utter the phrase “TL;DR” (pointing out you’re too lazy or illiterate to read? Sad)… I will instead gleefully know that these morons will never experience the genius and hilarity of this post. Sucks to be them, I guess! I had a good laugh!
tl;dr
Entirely too awesome… and this is coming from a hard-core HP fan… Bravo, sir or madam.
tl;dr
for all the lazy people who sit around looking for funny stuff to read and then go TLDR you fail at your job. This was actually worth reading.
My job is to have a short attention spa- oh hey, legos, awesome!
that happens to me all the time at- hey, a bird just flew by!
I have no idea what you’re talking abou– Ooo, look! A deer!
Ironicly, most of the weapons are procuced in belgium, in FN Herselt
…. The Chamber of Secrets was in the second movie, not the first – Also shooting Voldemort wouldn’t kill him – any potter fan knows he does not need his body to live.
Who’s Voldermort? And I’m a fan of pottery and I still don’t know what you are talking about.
SPOILERS:
Voldemort – Minus the R – came up with the perfect consistency of water to use on a potters wheel, He worked out that by splitting the intakes of water to 7 (what he considered a ‘magical’ number) he could get the clay to yield in to a near perfect constitution.
However, it wasn’t until one Harry Potter (with the help of his mentor Albus Dumbledore) challenged Voldemort’s theory that the world discovered that 8 was in fact the desired number to defeat cracks.
Cheezburger needs to get over this nerdy bullsh*t. Posts like these about Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings … boring as hell. Move on with life.
It appears you are in the minority with that opinion good sir.
Perhaps you should move on to another site.
Non-geeks read failbook? …..weird…
Now that was probably one of the awesomest things I have ever read.
1)You can’t kill voldemort untill you destroy the horcruxes
2)Guns only kill people if you shoot them in the right place Avadra Kadavra kills no matter what (Unless you’re Harry Potter)
3)Avadra Kadavra would kill faster than a gun
trust me, you can die from being shot ANYWHERE on your body. and guns can kill instantly.
Exactly! C’mon people, it’s not like anyone has ever survived a gun shot, duh.
We all know that shot-to-kill-ratio in all wars the US was involved into was 1:1. Only Chuck Norris kills more efficient.
Oh and that would take away the interesting part there wouldn’t be a struggle if worked like that
If that’s the best one-liner, I dread to think what the rest were like.
Wouldn’t the goggles work the same way as the camera? Or the mirror? So, you’d still be petrified.
I don’t care how much of a nerd this makes me. I’m still right.
legitimate best reason for gun rights ive heard.
tl;dr. Where’s Batman when you need him?
0.50 inches…… giggety
The best part is he typed that with an iPad. Those keyboards are freaking touchy.
I just wanted to say that if night vision is looking at a picture of the basilisk, he would get Petrified: just like the little boy: Colin Creevey, was that his name? Anyway, either that or the goggles would have melted, like the boy’s camera did.
sorry, your either drop out yank soldier/officer who couldnt hack it or some geeky kid who loves researching things to try and be funny. NEWS FLASH this wasnt funny AND the british arms is alot better than your friendly firing red neck hooligans, not funny one little bit, no one really cares about harry potter, and you have never fired a water gun never mind a barret .50cal in your life, stop trying to be smart and go overdose your a waste of ration packs and a oxygen stealer. that is all
Attitudes like this are WHY there are ‘friendly-fire incidents.’
I don’t see why a well aimed NATO 7.62 (you don’t need a .50 bmg) from 500-700 yards couldn’t take out a HP universe wizard or witch. If the shooter has the element of surprise, the first the target will know about it is when the bullet strikes him (it’s a supersonic round). HP universe magical folk can be harmed by human weapons. Dobby was taken out by a thrown dagger. Hagrid heads out into the forest with a crossbow. Why did Griffindor have a sword if it wasn’t useful?
My kids were talking about this just yesterday. You put it better, though.
Personally, I was thinking of setting up an L shaped ambush with claymores and an M60 at the corner and throwing in a command detonated mine for good measure. One squad from Echo company of the 2nd battalion, 2nd marines would be all you need.
tl;dr
also: comments: tl;dr
Only problem is they said “…how awesome the first movie would of been if he blew up the bath room wall”…..2nd movie is the basilisk….learn your movies/books
When I first saw this, I said TL:DR. Then the second time I read it, it was not funny at all. I guess only nerds understand it :\
muggle stuff doesnt work in the wizarding world, DUH
“God mad wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.”
Brilliant!
tl;dr
Hello Sunshine — you owe it to yourself to read it all, Orange’s Facebook post is hilarious.
this post is a WIN! it should be on WINBooking!
You forgot “Protego”, though. Shield Charm.
I need to know who this person is so I can marry them.
That would be me.
I just found out it got posted here.
Haha, we are officially betrothed.
TL;DR
This is the most EPIC thing i’ve read in a long time….it was hilarious!!!!
AWSOME! XD
And a good anti basilisc tactic (in theory) would be a squad with AA12s…loaded with slugs.
Gosh. That’s just plain stupid.
with or with-out a gun…Harry Potter, I’d hit that : )
im harry potter
So Harry, show us your wand??: P
EPIC, JUST EPIC!
Judging by the comments all throughout this page, I’m beginning to think that maybe this post should be on “Art of Trolling” since this WAS a successful troll…..whether they meant it or not!!
this is lame because it has nothing to do with facebook. just a joke posted there.
TL;DR
Ummm did this person actually read the books…. if you did you would know that in Hogwarts : A History you find out that manmade technology does not work in the school… also dont you think Voldy would have a similar charm so such barbaric things would have no effect on him… DUH… why dont you read the boook its way better than movies.,…
TL;DR
I WROTE THIS! I wrote it and put it on my FB page last November. A friend just linked me here when he saw it.
Glad to see people actually liked it (more or less).
to be honest though, if you read the books you would realize that nothing you said could have actually happeneddd
for instance muggle items dont work on hogwarts grounds
sooooo
yeah….
Muggle items like… clothes?
Actually, guns are not electronic, so they would work. Guns are entirely mechanical, and it makes as much sense to say that they wouldn’t function as it does to say that pipes wouldn’t function. That doesn’t change the fact that someone like Harry, who is under the age of eighteen for the entire series, would not be able to get his hands on that.
This discussion has been had. The general consensus is that electronics don’t work (so no powered optics), but most other stuff is fine.
The only things that guns require to work are simple mechanics and chemical reactions. And if those don’t work, people couldn’t even live there, and would die the moment they walked into Hogwarts.
Imagine Voldemort rolling on the floor, dying of laughing because Harry missed 7 times and nicked the skin of his arm the 8th time.
Yeah Harry, using a gun is not as easy as using a wand. Except to todays generation of COD-players … and that is what makes the parody so unfunny.
Idk. Considering that Harry is accustomed to aiming a wand, which has no sights nor any actual procedure for aiming that we have ever heard about, a gun might not be so hard with a minimum of instruction.
That wands must be aimed is clear, since spells occasionally miss.
Horcruxes cannot be destroyed by any man made object! Read the books before posting stuff like this, furthermore, the basilisk is Chamber of Secrets which is the second book, no the first!
Not gonna lie, never seen the Harry Potter films, but the fact that they DONT include what Ive just read here is even more motivation not to see them…This is awesome..
350+ posts and not ONE “Wizards” movie comment about the final showdown where you think there will be a huge wizardly duel and instead the good guy pulls out a pistol and shoots the bad guy dead…guess it’s a little too old or a little too scarce of a reference….. “Larry good–feed Larry!”
this is by far the most awesome thing I have read on the Internet. EVER!
Please please someone make this movie….
lol, TL;DR
People, please; the word is firearms, weapons, sidearms or rifle. “Gun” is an Americanism.
1) Witches and wizards can cast spells with only a thought
2) I really don’t think many highly magical creatures are hurt by ordinary metal
3) Witches and wizards wear protective spells and equipment
4) IIRC technology stops working at Hogwards (and presumably other highly magical/protected places?)
5) I’m sure the cliche of Americans being unaware of the rest of the world is mostly untrue. It seems they are also aware that Europe exists.
6) Maybe the reason there’s no death eaters in America is that they were a group of bigoted, violent men- in America they didn’t need to form a special group to meet the like-minded.
So I have to admit this is a funny posting. However, the I am not so sure how much the writer really knows about Harry Potter other than what he may have seen in the movies or read on Wiki. I was skeptical from the part where he was talking about the Basilisk and then in the next paragraph says
“Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry…”
But barging into the bathroom would mean nothing in the first movie because he is more concerned with getting in the trap door. Unless the writer is speaking of when the troll and Hermione are in the bathroom and Ron and Harry go into to save him, but from the previous statement that is not what I believe he meant. I mean really you are trying to make a point about the series yet get some of your information wrong? Wow.
And yes because I am sure this question will follow after this post, I am a huge Harry Potter fan and have read all of the books numerous times, and seen all of the movies also.
thats good. lmfao, thats really good! skinny lil wizard nerd holding a spaz12! epic!!
Guns in schools. Great idea.
Problems: Basalisk’s eyes don’t use the conventional “Light-related” function, it has nothing to do with OUR eyes, thus meaning you’d still get frohzen. And Night Vision Goggles still have on bit where it goes directly from the outside to your eye, only with glass in the way. Also, in the time I could say “Expelliarmus”, the lock on most gun would give way either just after or at the same time as I said it. And I don’t remember every bullet hitting the target, unlike Avadera Kedavera.
Here’s why Harry never uses a gun: They are illegal in the UK. Where in God’s name would he get one? He lives in a nice neighborhood far from the slums, and thus far from illegal gun trafficking. I also doubt there’s a spell to transfigure one…
Scratch that. I was very incorrect.
This was well illustrated in a very early episode of Potter Puppet Pals, before they were actual puppets:
http://www.potterpuppetpals.com/pppmain/Channels/Trouble.htm
Who is this person? I want to add him/her as a friend! LMAO!
Actually, John Moses Browning invented the 1911, along with over 200 individual weapon patents. Colt simply manufactured it using Browning’s design. Long live the 1911! <3
But the Spas-12 isn’t American! It’s Italian.
yes but here in america we take the best of what everyone has and use it better than they ever could or did.
Also, guns beat magic.
If you don’t believe me, why don’t you duel me? I’ll grab my 1911 and you can wave a wooden stick at me. We’ll see who wins.
“But it’s a fantasy world! Wizards can use magic to block bullets!”
As at least a dozen other people have pointed out here, bullets generally travel faster than sound. A wizard would have to know the bullet was coming fairly far ahead of time to block it, and obviously not many wizards in the HP world have such foresight. And besides, Harry Potter is a wizard too, so why wouldn’t he be able to imbue his bullets with magic?
The Night Vision goggles might or might not work. Rowling never says what happens if you merely _look_ at a picture of a basilisk.
“But you can’t use technology in the wizard world!”
That’s not true either. Tons of wizards use muggle-crafted objects in the wizarding world. Colin Creevey’s camera, for example. And even electricity works there, like Harry’s watch. And if simple chemical reactions weren’t allowed, then (as several people have pointed out) there could be no fire, life, or even the flash from Colin’s camera.
And if all else fails, Harry can use a battlefield nuke. Try protecting yourself while your very atoms are ripping themselves apart, Voldemort! Not even magic can redesign nature, as I believe is pointed out at least once in the series.
The .45 ACP round developed for the 1911 is sub-sonic. Most pistol rounds are.
Rowling did say what happens when you look at an image of the basilisk. think what happened to hermione when she saw the basilisk through the mirror. she got petrified. a reflection is also an image.
I always thought Harry would kill Voldemort by dropping a piano on his head. It was a bit of a disappointment, to be honest.
NVGs detect heat and a basilisk is a reptile. Put them on and the basilisk is invisible.
Ok, second paragraph is false. Looking direstly into it’s eyes kills you. Looking at an image of it is medusa-gaze. LEARN YOUR FACTS!!!!
A true fan of the series would know that right off the bat. Just thought i’d let you know.
TLDR
I only managed to get past the first 2 words.
Why does this guy think the British eat steak with spoons? We really don’t, we do have knives, even ones especially made for steak….and also not all of Europe is made up of Brits, as he seems to imply…..hmmm……..ignorance is bliss
Actually, if it was Dirty Harry Potter, he would carry a S&W model 29, in 44 magnum, not a 1911.
Good thing I upgraded my plasma cutter at the last bench, now I can cut off all 7×2 legs without reloading
Lol, I concede to your reasoning! Your explanation of why Harry should have a gun is hilarious and quite convincing. Harry certainly seems more bad ass in this scenario. I’ve asked the question of why the wizards didn’t just use guns quite a few times but you really nailed the question here. Now I wish Harry would have had a gun!
Guys… it’s just pure win!
aww come on… it’s a children’s book for christsake… since when did barney or sesame street make sense anyway?
honestly, i’ve read all 7 of harry potter books, and i don’t remember ever reading that magic shorts out all modern technology. yes young wizzards and witches who are yet to be trained to control their magic tend to let out impulses of magic that interferes with the things around them, especially evident with electrical appliances as with the case of harry potter, and lord voldermort set a closet in flames in the orphanage he was in when he was a young child. the closet was not operated by electricity.
but why do the good guys not use guns etc. because if you bothered to read at all, majority of the magic society still feel that they are superior to common folk without magic. it is due to their arrogance that they do not even bother to understand these people that they think so little of. because of that, they scorn technology of the common folk without even bothering to look at the benefits of technology. that is not very different from racism as displayed in USA during the 70s-80s where chinese and african americans were despised upon. did they know that paper and gunpowder were invented by the chinese and respect or give them credit for that? no. hence, your magic folks know little of modern technology. which also explains why arthur weasly is so fascinated by modern technology and calls them “muggle-magic”
there are of course loopholes to this theory set by JK rowling. because the railway train that sends the school children to hogwarts is afterall, man-made technology. albeit a little ancient looking…
Guns are lame, end of story.
You are lame. End of you.
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You could definitely see your skills within the work you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe. All the time go after your heart.
Only Americans could find this funny. Or those with a serious social life problem revolving around their little game boxes…
Wizards don’t need guns…Looking at a Light amplified Picture of a basilik would petrify you…good luck getting out of that without magic…ever tried to hit someone who wouldn’t stop moving…now imagine that if they turned into smoke…There are death eaters in America. The Americans just seem to blame any disasters on Developing middle eastern nations and The death eaters get away with it… good luck firing a bullet when you don’t have a gun…one Accio and you are out of luck. Magic beats reality 8 times out of ten. Unless you want to Die…don’t listen to an American. Look at some other stupid things they say: http://strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/travel.html
I rest My case and may Dumbledore Have mercy on your soul.
Yeah coz that would get as many devoted fans. Amazing childrens book that.