Submitted by: Unknown
Via: CollegeHumor
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« Previous For the Ebonic Impaired | At Least She Found a Seat Next »
« Previous For the Ebonic Impaired | At Least She Found a Seat Next »
Inb4 “repost” and “wrong order”. Ding ding ding!
You did not just say inb4.
Noooooooooooo!!!
inb4 yes he did
Is Dan mad at me?
Not mad, disappointed…
(. ´Д｀)ﾉ(´･ω･`)
YAY!!!!!!!
……Huh?
I… think it might be a slap. The line in between -could- be a hand lifted for cheek impacting.
I think he wants to take a front and back picture naked, then put it side-by-side.
It was originally intended as a slightly condescending head-pat, but all those suggestions sound good too.
The greatest archivement of mankind? Clearly the invention of …. stories. Without telling stories to each other and ourselves, we wouldn’t be humans.
what about bacon???
greatest invention – the internet, duh!
WINNING!
glad to see your elementary school let you out for the weekend and you’re here to join us Skyman
this
Greatest invention – things that begin with the letter ‘g’.
Giggity?
i think he meant Gays
Gorillaz!
I’ll second that.
Golli’es gattes ghey ganddesgust gee gatt gwierd’es..gwanny’es gway gwas gee ge’sayyeinges gnnaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
Drongo! You’re talking nonesense!
(SNAP, SNAP)
!! GANDALF !!
Vocaloid doesn’t begin with G.
Agreed.
Iagree LOL
Man didn’t invent fire…
Exactly. Everyone know women invented fire while they were figuring out how to be more efficient in a kitchen.
Who uses fire to make a sammich..?
dont 4get grilled cheeeze
excellent point!
Paula Deen.
You forgot bacon.
i was gonna say bacon!
werd
Yeah!! Bacon. Om nom nom nom.
to make a buddah sandwich, with an extra stick of buddah on top.
If a womans place is in the kitchen; why are all chefs male?
To make better food for those special occasions.
Key word: Harness.
↑This
could be why it says”harnessing the power” rather than invent. Just sayin’.
↑That too.
Technically man didn’t invent anything, just discovered all we have.
Really? So how exactly would sports have come to be if we did not discover them?
Whoops didn’t read the post right. FAIL! What I should have said is this: “So we discovered sports? The rules were all just hidden somewhere?”
you’re not funny…
But he does speak the truth.
There are naturally occurring cell phones?!?
No we discovered the technology to create teh cell phone. We did not create the science that allows cell phones to work. Stop being an idiot.
Well then, I guess that nothing anywhere has ever invented anything. They only discovered the way to make them work. Stop being an idiot.
Sooo… Da Vinci didn’t ‘create’ the Mona Lisa, he just discovered the correct combination of pigments and brush-strokes that allowed it to come into being?
My mind = blown
No, he actually discovered the painting growing on a tree in southern Italy.
That guy was a freaking genius.
He was also gay.
I wasn’t talking about the technology needed 2 create cell phones. Building cell phones is it’s own achievement. Stop being a idiot.
Invent (to) : Create or design (something that has not existed before); be the originator of
Cell phones did not exist before they were “discovered” as you would say, therefore they were invented.
And fire WASN’T invented by man… but if you look really closely (the pixels give it off), they wrote “harness” fire, not invent
Doesn’t say man invented fire… man “harnessed the power” of fire.
Yes, seriously, some creature that is the ancestor of both Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens (humans) learned to tame fire before Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens even existed.
pics or it didn’t happen
And Duct Tape is the Best.
1st.
Were you before all of this stuff in the OP? NO. THEREFORE YOU ARE NOT FIRST!
2nd.
not exactly…
not even close…
aliens did
Because robots.
Don’t forget the Dolphins, they guided us on our adventure of Life.
those pan-galactic beings are trippy…
You forgot video games in the poll >:O
You forgot sex!!!!
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You forgot poorly executed Picard facepalms!
ummmm BACON!!!!!! duh?
+1
+2
*O* KIRA! You’re a lady?
I was just thinking about posting it!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! U so need a new hobby!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
Forgot Abortion
See “birth control”
You forgot Rebecca Black and the internet
^forgot about part 2
They also forgot unicorns. But they already got a lot of stuff that didn’t happen, so I can’t complain
Tyler’s right! The only stuff on this list that DID happen all happened in the last 6000 years! This is a bunch of bull!
You forgot Facebook in the poll
and failbook of course ‘-_-
Pr0n > sex
*<
*=
*+
*[Insert super crazy math expression here.]
*= a(B)=a(a) + $Xr(B/A) + %X[%Xr(B/A)] + 2%X(v(B/A)+a(B/A)
*8 = D
WANG! OH, I mean uh, wrong….
mankind didn’t invent sex. invent.
Basements
Too soon…
Hmmm i wassa finkkining’es datt “I Drongo” wassa thiese grattest’es kreeattion ovva konnshee’entness’es evvares…..
well hello there drongo! I missed you during my morning troll session :-/
Youse issa fouresgivven’es..
Still no job drongo? Sad really. I’m sure you could make it as a crash test dummy. Or maybe a punching bag.
Dunn’es krashhes testting’es……nevver’es dydedded..konnfuzzed alottes ovva peeps soo theyyes payyes mee twouse wattchess annede I finnkes foures demmes..Deyyes seyyes I twoo smerttes twoo bee krashhes testtes dunmies..
I tried being a Crash Test Dummy before. When the car crashed, I flew through the roof and knocked out the lights…..
It wasn’t fun.
thank you!!!!! for saying that i hate drongo… what an idiot!
yuppes wattes anne irriottes as inna prazze…”Whatte Anne Irriottes”….assa inneskomparieaballes twoose alles dee udder irriottes…yure’es addmirerattiones issa notedd’es; annede fannkes foures yurres ackknolledgemenntes..
yuppes wattes anne irriottes as inna prazze…..”Whatte Anne Irriottes”….assa inneskkomparieaballes twoose alles dee udder irriottes…..yure’es addmirerattiones issa notedd’es; annede fannkes foures yurres ackknolledgemenntes..
Still no job janglez? I mean if you are on here so much to know that he is on here so much…doesn’t that mean you don’t have a job, too? Simple process of elimination.
You forgot the Internet.
Internet: “I am disappoint.”
In the OP: ^forgot about Part 2
In the Poll: We are all dissapoint.
Fake! Amirite?
No, gtfo n00b
forgot magnets
you forgot living in peace, not fighting. To respect all people. Oh well, we never achieved that, did we?
you realize that peace is impossible for mankind because we basically live for conflict so yeah…
It’s true. Sad really.
I’m starting a war for Peace.
Bombing cities with assorted small gifts probably will not achieve anything…
I don’t think you can do that. I’m gonna bomb you now because i disagree with you.
*GASP!* How can You do that!??!?!?! I’m going to drop a Nuke on You now because You are a bad guy that should be eradicated.
That’s what every war is about in some way…..
Your lack of punctuation makes me want to cry…
The Internet is man’s greatest achievement.
The Internet is for Pr0n.
Pr0n is for fap.
^^^^Dan is the best thing on the internet right now!
this is from avenue Q
HOW DO YOU DO FAUNTS!??!?!?!
holy crap, Dan
Someone just ******************** with ****** and ******* so ******** with a Kangaroo ******** Dan so he will be quiet.
That’s just wrong…… *_*
Someone basing their online persona around Jar Jar Binks? Terrifying.
They forgot the coming of the Elder Gods and the sinking of R’lyeh, though.
At least you remembered to credit College Humor though :p
The Saturn V rocket, nuclear fission, the space shuttle, Voyager I and II, PCR, the knock-out mouse, Hubble and whatever is replacing it, and dogs.
Best invention is indoor plumbing. For reasons of comfort and sanitation.
^This
When I saw it say “Part 2″, I immediately thought of Sponge Bob: “Part 2? PART 2 PART 2 PART 2 PART 2 PART 2 PART 2″ (inb4 the trolls – Squidward (in monotone voice): “Yeah. Part 2.”)
we get it part 2 go away
That was only part 1 of Skyman’s comment.
You being young enough that you watch Spongebob kind of proves everything all the “troll-lords” have been saying about you…
I’m a Troll Prince
The Lord of the Rings. Yep.
I wish we had more of these, they’re always hilarious xD
There were more of this in the beginning of Failbook. Just go to the “last” page.
i agree… and they left out bacon im just sayin
you forgot science
Of course! Don’t you know anything about SCIENCE?
You morons forgot bacon!
I like you! You’re my new second favorite person… Drongo has to come first. I am a member of his fan club…
That was my thought, too!! Mmmm…. Sweet piggy bellies……..
yes yes yes ive been looking for a comment like this! bacon woohoo!
bacon indeed ^
ಠ_ಠ
ಠ‿ಠ
ಥ‿ಥ
^He came
Thats a letter in Telugu :O
adult diapers, those things saved my teen life
crotchless pants <3
Toilet paper should at least make the list….
You forgot Rebecca Black! She unites us in our hatred of her.
^ win! Breaking news! – Nations of the world unite to rip the sh*t out of Rebecca Black’s pathetic excuse for a music career.
The first “sh!t” isn’t censored LOLOL
“You morons forgot [existing]!”
You forgot God(s)
Pretty important invention, that one.
^this
I actually chuckled out loud when I read this. That’s a rare occurrence. Well done, poster. Well done indeed.
Breathing
You forgot video games
Agreed. /already posted it but meh
Nutella!!!
I second that.
Vegemite!!!!
I was about to get angry that nobody said this, until I saw this! It’s so sad the creator of Nutella died recently
May his hazelnutty heaven in a jar live on.
magnets duh
You know, of all the junk we humanoids have come across in the world, they forget the number one most important… CHEESE …. Yes, I said it…. Cheese! You bloody morons -_- May death find you while you lay awake at night wishing for sleep to enrapture you.
Mankind’s greatest achievement is LOLCats.
Humanity’s crowning achievement is the mystical castle of Camelot.
Actually, on second thought, it’s not. Camelot is a silly place.
it’s only a model
^both of these.
*Shhh!*
Spam.
My vote is split between ‘Rational Thought’ and ‘The Scientific Method’.
Sporks. The human species peaked with the invention of sporks.
greatest invention – Plumbing!
They forgot the part where God created everything
Greatest invention? Duct tape. Definitely.
Though “mankind” didn’t invent that -Chuck Norris did.
Hetalia. Although I gotta say, sporks is a pretty close second.
…I love you.
Mankind’s greatest invention: time machines.
Phillosophy!
AKA night shift manager at McDonalds!
Sorry, I forgot to tell You I had a life before saying something intelligent. You were obviously unprepared.
magnets
You forgot the button! Where would we all be without the button?
dELICIOUS cAKE!
The cake is a lie……..
Arby’s Sauce is the pinnacle of human achievement
Dudes…
You forgot Bacon.
Speech. Without it almost all of the others would never have come about.
In the spirit of Earth Day: Euthanasia. Apply to 9/10s of the human population, and you might actually have a people worth saving.
inb4 haters; no, I am not a bitter, lonely man. I simply accept the fact that some people are decent, and most stopped evolving after opposable thumbs.
No, actually, You are a bitter person for wanting to put 9/10s of the human population to sleep.
do you LIKE crowded homes, smog-filled streets and whole cities of stubborn idiots?
cause i sure don’t.
Do you LIKE straw men?
Cause I sure don’t.
Fair enough. Doesn’t mean they shouldn’t, though.
No, they shouldn’t. That would be an awful thing to do instead of being peaceful and trying to fix things in a slow and gentle way.
(Inb4 H8rs)
f*ckit, i’m all for killing the stupid. as long as we start with Glen Beck.
Inb4 Political Flamewar
If you stopped evolving after oppsible thumbs, you would be in no state to be classed as a human. Now if you’re going to go around euthanising apes, there is a jail cell waiting (and prison is presumably the first place you would go to start “applying” deaths?) for you.
…someone needs to switch to decaff.
What about evolution/adaption to environment?
Duck Tape. Who could forget?
All my ducks would fall apart!
Dear CollegeHumor: Next week, make sure you actually do this in the right order.
Sincerely, All the people who aren’t f@cktards
Dear Nemephosis,
Derp.
Sincerely, the f*cktards
Dear Dan,
Herp.
Sincerely, the hipsters.
Dear HipsterHimmler,
GYUUUUUUUUUUUN! (That’s Giratina for Derp.)
Sincerely, Giratina.
Dear Giratina,
Gerp.
Sincerely, the hipsters
Speaking on behalf of someone is so mainstream.
^ this
Whats in the wrong order?
ALUMINUM FOIL.
Paper.
Magnets duh.
BACON
Thongs ftw.
the internet!
You morons forgot *COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF DEADLY NEUROTOXIN*
YOU IDIOTS FORGOT DOCTOR WHO!!!!!! HAHAHAHA im a complete whovian
Art.
Tacos!!
Evolutionists are hilarious. What a terrible religion they have.
I agree. Not having any religion is terrible!
The written word?
Agriculture.
I know, funny answers are… funnier, but really, agriculture. It´s the biggest thing up until the industrial revolution and yet it ment more than that.
When we stopped being nomadic we set ourselves aside from all the other animals in a totally unprecedented way.
We began manipulating our surroundings and… well, you all know the rest. Boom came the internet and so on.
Co-signing on Agriculture and the general concept of manipulating our surroundings to our own designs. I think that’s the biggest departure from nature.
beavers…
SPACESHIPS
BACON IS THE GREATEST INVENTION.
The greatest invention is the videogame console, duh.
Humanity’s greatest creation …… MAGNETS!
How do they work, though?
where s the bacon option? D:
Art thou daft? Where art thy nachos option?
*thine
Um, you need to work on your renaissance-speak, because you just said “Are you an idiiot? Where are your nachos option?”
…actually, it could work for what i think you meant to say, but not very well. it sounds odd.
two words for all of you guys: Deep-fried beer. yes it exists, no I don’t know how to get it. Gooogle it I guess
You put a shot of beer in the middle of a dough ball and deep fry it. Or you mix beer and flour into a batter and deep fry that. Seen it both ways at the SD county fair, home of deep fried everything.
Mankind’s greatest achievement is a tie between Mozart’s Requiem and Beethoven’s An die Freude.
Um..You forgot the most useful thing ever invented….Duct Tape!!! Win!
Empathy.
Magnets, of course, and horseback riding!
Bacon
SUPERNATURAL!!!!!!!!
Music!!!!!
CHOCOLATE IS THE BEST INVENTION.
cinnamon buns. XD
mankinds greatest achievement is metal \m/
Portal 2 and Charlie Sheen. Duh, Winning!
Charlie Sheen is a lie
GReatest invention – BACON
toilet paper.
What about bubble wrap p0rn? Before you ask: Rule 34 and 35 of teh Internetz!
/b/
Ex-nay on-ay he-thay ace-play e-way ent-doay k-talay out-abay!
you forgot rubix cubes!!
not one person mentioned, the most important invention ever created by anyone anywhere.
Toilet Paper. The Currency of the Future.
At the end of part 1 the picture shows meiosis instead of mitosis….
BACON!
I win.
You forgot – pay at the pump gas!!
SOAP!!!
Bubble wrap is lagging just a little behind pr0n! C’mon, bubble wrap!
I interviewed my granny who is a 101 and she said it’s safety pins.
Best thing ever made has got to be Duct Tape.
You forgot Portal 2.
BEARS!
IN MY COUNTRY, BEAR DRIVE BOTH TAXI AND MAIN BATTLE TANK. BUT THEY DEFENSIVE DRIVERS SO NOT DANGEROUS. IS GOOD. IS RUSSIA.
How the hell does bubble wrap have more votes than BEER? You can’t have the former without the latter.
What’s pron? Do you seriously not know how to spell it? Sad.
Video gamessss!!!!
Minibar.
Snooze button!
That album that The Universe posted wasn’t talking about the Big Bang. It was actually talking about your mom.
space travel!
You guys forgot bagels.
Bacon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
obviously, the greatest invention ever was bacon. you people are all idiots.
so, i’m gonna be the nerd here and say Doctor Who.
WOOOOOOOOO!!! WHOVIANS 4 LIFE!
Where the hell is Pokemon on that poll?
where’s the comments about the earth only being 4000 years old? i am disappoint.
That’s what I was looking for too!
Mankind’s greatest creation….. me. j/k, lol.
Magnets!
You forgot Monkeyface
The crap’s amatter with You?
The internet is clearly man’s greatest achievement.
BACON, DUH!!!
transistor. no modern electronics would be possible without it
Hate to say it, but you forgot LANGUAGE, the single most important thing that humans have invented and therefore their greatest achievement. Without it we would still be in the stone age.
Language is the symptom – mentally constructed finite models of the discrete elements which form reality is the correct answer.
I think man’s greatest achievement is winning!
The umbrella. Once we had the illusion that we could alter the impact of weather on us, we thought the world was ours to do with as we wish.
The Internet
The greatest achievement is birth control. I just wish more people would realise that and USE IT.
Duct Tape.
I was going to say that!
+infinity
Greatest achievement – find out about this black stuff in the ground, we called: OIL; will probably end up stabbing us in the back though
They forgot Bacon.
Computers and the internet! How could you forget that?
What about Mel Brooks’ movies? Get it? One of his movies was title “History of the World: Part 1″. I made a joke.
Magnets!
Nutella.
Nutella, Nutella,
Gotta get down on Nutella!
BACON
Forgot GREEN DAY!!!!!
You morons forgot toasters
You forgot BACON
I agree!!!
You Mormons forgot magnets.
XDDD
written communication
You forgot Chuck Norris
And dancing!
BACON!!!!!!!!!!!
BACON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BACON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WTF??? Why has hardly anyone noticed they forgot “The Internet” The thing that can provide everything else on the list? lol
most definitely the printing press. it created a faster, easier way to record and distribute important news and information.
Greatest achievement: The Scientific Method.
You forgot BACON!
The universe still existed when matter and anti-matter where still in huge amounts as lepton- anti-lepton pairs where still being created for up to 10 seconds after the big bang. If all matter and anti matter was in equal amounts then the universe would still exist but it would just be devoid of matter and filled with protons left over from the matter annihilations.
BACON
You morons forgot Facebook…..obviously.
You guys forgot THE PILLLLLLL
Y U NO MENTION BACON?!?!
The greatest invention is delivery pizza.
You forgot the wheel!!
Flour.
Flour = bagels, doughnuts, pasta, sandwiches, cake, pancakes, cheese sauce, toast…
THE PPLS FORGOT BACON!! HOW DARE THEY!!!! >.<
GOD, ALLAH, ETC. Great inventions AMIRITE? XD
You guys forgot bacon as Earth’s greatest achievement! BRING ON THE BACONNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BACON!
They forgot video games! D8
CALLER ID!!!!!!!!
Yoiu morons forgot the scientific method, physics, chemistry, philosophy, math (algebra, calculus, geometry, etc), biology etc.
the best invention? Magnets! *trollface* screw you mormons!!!
Its BACON!!!!! HOW COULD YOU FORGET BACON?????
mankind’s greatest achievement is writing.
” ” music.
morgan freeman :l
Dunno if anybody else caught this as there were too many comments to read because, really, why bother? Anyhoo, you forgot Doctor Who!
escalator
Troling!!!!1. they forgto troling11!!!eleven
They forgot the internet…
The General Theory of Reletivity.
I think I’m gonna go with ‘plastic’
WHISKEY! (Irish, of course.)
Greatest invention= MAGNETS
but how do they work?
http://www.coolmagnetman.com/maghow.htm
Call of duty or mabye halo
I’m want to join the event of the cells. Reproduce till you die!!!
You morons forgot magnets!!
*Mormons
Lying and/or trolling should be on the list.
Yep, anyone else going for magnets?
the invention of the wheel, yeah, nice… helped a bit..
the control of fire.. ok, made us warm..
but genius was the guy the that put fire in a wheel and made a poodle jump through it!
You morons forgot World of Warcraft! D:
no they didn’t. person without life^
Ugh. You forgot LOLcats! D:
I voted for the last.
It’s easy: VIDEO GAMES :3
Batman |U
mans greatest achievement
they forgot BACON
Why, langwidge, of curse. Without of which all this trolling would be impossible. ish.
THE Plow, without which most other inventions never would have occurred.
idk if anyone put this in the comments but they totaly forgot BACON!!!
The internet is clearly man’s greatest achievement And BACON! And LOLcats! And Why, langwidge, of curse , And VIDEO GAMES:3,magnets, Doctor Who!And did mnchon BACON AND LOLCATS AND VIDEO GAMES!!!!!!CHOCOLATE!GREEN DAY!Bagels!and SUPERNATURAL!!space travel!Facebook! Nutella!Pokemon! Neopets! Webkinz!And icanhascheezburger.com And Kittehs Of curse! Sonic and SonicX Oh And TV! And The Warriors cat Books and BOOKS!!!
And cheese. And tacos. And comments about cheese and tacos. Or even, mankind’s greatest achievement is achieving! Ok, cheap shot. Wait! CHEAP SHOTS!!!!!
greatest achievement; art/ self expression
The United States Marine Corps.
You idiots forgot “The Wheel of Time”
HOW COULD YOU FORGET THAT?!?!?!
sorry to back track, but if there is no real inventions in the world.. who invented the word invent? and why is it used, oh great one who thinks everything is discovered..
BACON!
It would be soap. The root of all hygenics.
The greatest achievement is clearly Gamer Chicks. Or is that not an achievement?
iPods, CDs, Cassetes, radios, stereos, records, Aerosmith, music <3 basicly anyything that has to do with music or that plays it. Oh and cheese
STAR WARS!
greatest invention? Trolling
Gunzes!
Music. All forms and styles. without it I would probable be dead from boredom.
You forgot…
Friday,Friday gonna get down on friday
Greatest achievement… the holocaust.
duct tape
Humanity.
bacon
You morons forgot bacon!
You morons forgot magnets!
Peeps
The written word which brought about the ability to pass on uncontaminated knowledge (subject to translation errors).
Gah, I voted for electricity. Being serious on a joke site fail.
Woah. Last time I checked, the top three answers were pr0n, bubble wrap, and birth control.
‘Merica, fsck yeah.
You guys are such nerds xDDDDD
YOU FORGOT MORMONS!
Greatest achievement? Cheese balls. For sure.
Sex – duh! P0rn is for when you can’t have sex.
Which came first, the penis or electricity? Sorry, good post.
I don’t understand how Pr0n and electricity are both up, but that computers are not. How else will we get the Army of Jesus Clone Zombie Robots?
Three Days Grace.
<3
Cheese by far is the best. I cannot possibly state this enough, cheese anything is the number one most wonderful thing ever found in the entire world, solar system, or even galaxy!
YOU MORONS FORGOT CHCOLATE!!!!!
You people are totally not worthy.
VELCRO!
you clearly forgot the advent of gunpowder
Um, Harry Potter, y/y?
the lie was the greatest invention
VOCALOID!
It’s been more than 2 weeks and still no Part 2. Failbook fail.
im waiting failbook!
you forgot bacon
I know it’s been said, but yeah, what he^said! BACON!
Bacon…
Magnets
as bacon said, THEY FORGOT BACON!!!!!!!!!!! SHOOP DA WHOOP!!!!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
baconnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Lol. The greatest creation of mankind? Reproduction. If ye catch my drift
u forgot teh internets on the list of best things thing oh and where is part 2
totally forgot the lie.
“Yes I came.” “No that dress doesn’t make you look fat.” etc…
I didn’t see any bacon in this poll.
The arts are our greatest collective accomplishment.
language
I agree on that although its a little bit too seriuos compared to most replies. Without language there would be no passing on of knowledge and tradition the basis of all civilization.
Soap – Donnie Darko
You forgot bacon
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BACON
Bacon, you morons. It was obviously Bacon.