Her offenses include, but are not limited to: excessive drama, constant banal updating, creep-levels of attention from men, and being a complete idiot.
Have any favorites? Let us know in the comments!
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Copy & paste this:
God I know one. I defriended her but the car crash syndrome has me looking at her profile every now and then to see the carnage.
*than
no, it’s actually “then”, as in now and then, geddit??
Fail grammar-nazi failed hard.
*Successful fake-grammar-nazi troll succeeded.
Fake grammar successful grammar-nazi-troll-nazi failed succeeding.
lol wut?
C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
TL DR
“TL DR”
TL DR
Actually, it’s C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER.
You fail.
The fukking win.
what is this i don’t even…
Indeed.
What were you trying to correct?
Looks like Billy enjoys false correcting to get attention. Mission accomplished.
*give*
“than” for comparisons
“then” for time
WTF, Billy?
Just one?
Lucky.
Takes picture of the kid (Daily), and update us EVERYTIME they are a month older…
Or…
Always talkin bad about someone
Or
Always depressed about some bs…
OH yes. The first one!
Posts pictures of food they made or are about to eat, not rare or precious food, just regular food…..its F***ing FOOD! I’m pretty sure every human being sees food daily or at least, has seen food before.
Hate that s***, and people who take pictures of themselves
It’s not just annoying facebook girl who gives updates on their kids. I’m not against kid updates unless their kids are butt ugly, or if they post a status just to talk about their kid’s bowel movements. Or if the mom is 13, she should probably keep that baby to herself and hide in shame.
“or if they post a status just to talk about their kid’s bowel movements”
I know a new mum who videorecorded their baby’s first crap– I almost cried of relief when I logged onto FB later and they hadn’t uploaded it, because, you know, they WOULD if they could.
This. One of my FB friends did this a few days ago, and I immediately deleted it. WHY, oh, WHY do parents post that their kid celebrated his/her 21-month birthday by pooping in the potty?
Or kill herself
Ummmm….I wouldn’t mind the daily pictures and updates of the kid – if it were BORN. No, I get the daily updates of the pregnant belly – and every sonogram picture. You know, I have absolutely no interest in seeing someone’s uterus, whether or not there’s like some other person living in it. Forchristsake already.
this made me think to ask, “Do people do status/photo updates for infections, wounds, surgeries, etc?” I am too scared to look.
yep, i know a ton of people who when they get an injury or even just a paper cut or a bruise, they take tons of gruesome pictures with captions like “it hurts soo bad!!!” and expect pity.
God I know one too, she goes from ‘depressed can’t get out bed wish I would die’ to ‘happy happy joy joy love my honey’ 20 times a day. And don’t mention the updates! Every little thing has to be mentioned ‘OMG had a huge poo LOL XXX’ I’m not even going to attempt her spelling. But I agree with Annie, it’s like car crash syndrome I can’t de-friend her.
Same. She’s single-handedly responsible for half of my news feed.
Going any time from happy to depressed is called being bipolar by science and bi-winning by Charlie Sheen!
Try to make sense.
WINNING ^
I have one too… And she’s obsessed with me… God, such a pain. I don’t even use facebook, but she made me friend her anyways. And she keeps tagging me in pictures of anime characters! I am not Ichigo!
But I gota say, I love Yahoo messenger for the amazing option “Appear permanently offline to ____” THANK YOU, YAHOO!
msn messenger > yahoo
P.S: if you aren’t sure how to appear offline to ___, you just block them… that option isn’t a GOOD thing, not having it is a BAD thing XD lol
Facebook has that option too, but you can only hide certain “lists” of friends. I have one friend who is annoying as hell and is permanently on that turned off list.
I have two types of lists, OFF and OFF CHAT. In OFF they don’t even see my wall, OFF CHAT is for turning them off in chat easily. Problem solved.
And we have a winner!
I’ve found it helpful to hide all statuses from the person (just X their last status on your newsfeed) instead of de-friending. This way, you don’t become their latest “end of the world” and they can’t try to re-friend you again and again.
Reminds me of a ex who was a myspace attention whore….. glad that bish is gone! Lol
The “ending every status update with “<3" no matter what" person.
my cousin ends EVERY UPDATE with “txt me”.
Luckily she dropped it in the toilet the other day
And I bet you know that because she updated her Facebook to let everyone know.
WINNING.
what is the facebook girl??
A meme.
Invisible penis..?
Clearly. Perhaps a photoshopped version on after dark?
“Can we pretend that airplanes…”
seen this quote so many times from these facebook attention whores. On of them probably writes it at least once a month whenever whe feels slightly sad.
I still can’t hide her from my news feed, she’s so fun to hate!
I can’t STAND that damned Duck Face.
Rage Agree! How could ANYONE think that’s sexy???
Male ducks do.
^ you win
Is duckface that one facial expression where chics will throw their arms over each other’s shoulders, push their heads together, and purse their lips out as far as humanly possible when a camera is present?
Unfortunately so.
:(:(:(” etc. etc.
Usually followed by the uploading and tagging and the “OMG im sooo ugggglllyllylylyly
Then followed by..
Friend 1: OMG! Gawjuss bbz! xx
Uploader: Lol, thnx bbz, u 2 x
Friend 2: Luv it hun x
Uploader: Thnx, bt im ugly lol x
“Friend” 3: You always say you’re ugly, yet you have a million pictures of yourself in sexy poses… why?!
yeah, exactly.i think i am “friend”3
and the girl the tags you in ANY photo even if you are not included
I’ve tagged someone in a picture they weren’t in because it was a picture of a doll I made for her and I wanted to make sure she saw it.
You’ve successfully made me feel bad about myself.
No, that doesn’t count, as it actually served a purpose.
don’t they realise they just look retarded when they do it???
Is she expecting some kind of mouth shower, or what?
Exactly. She’s expecting liquid to be sprayed in her mouth.
“Liquid”. Haaaaa!
Is it bad that i uploaded the “putting friends as siblings” and tagged all my friend siblings?
Not really. I added some of my closer friends as my siblings.
Unless by all you literally mean all.
That is so f*cking stupid.
why? i know a lot of people who do it. I do. but only with my 2 best friends. When people list like 20 unrelated people as their siblings….thats when it gets annoying.
No, it’s just stupid.
lol..pretty much every one of these have been posted in some form or another by my 15 year old niece. She got me scared of my son becoming a teenager. I don’t want to deal with the drama!
yOU hAVE a sON i wOULDNT wORRY tOO mUCH aBOUT dRAMA….lol>>>
How is RECEIVING attention an offense? Still misogynist as ever, I see.
zing
LOL. You obviously don’t belong here, now kindly gtfo NOW.
You forgot to add ‘You’re 13 years old’ to the list.
I lol’d HARD.
MAKE STATUS
LIKE IT
I do the song quotes now and then, but not the rest of the crap. Most news feeds are just random drama or Jesus freaks. I make it to where I just do not see their feeds anymore instead of bothering with the drama of un-friending them.
You see, MOST news feeds are not like this. It’s because you have idiot friends.
^this
I am so happy that I wasn’t a teenager when FB became popular…. I would have to end people with all the drama teens tend to spout… Oy. It is bad enough with twenty somethings.
My niece is one. Her (deployed) husband caught her having a FB affair with someone from back home, and we could tell because she suddenly started having all these disjointed, vague one-sided arguments for a week. Then it was a couple of weeks about what a jerk her husband is. Then she’s got a new boyfriend for a week. Then she’s publicly begging hubby to come back. Then it’s another new boyfriend. I wonder if she’d by cycling that fast without Facebook.
Yeah, they did back during Desert Shield and Desert Storm, when FB was still more than a decade in the future.
how can a one-year old be married?
^Exactly!
Facebook doesn’t cause affairs, it merely highlights those who are prone to act this way. Either you respect your relationship or you don’t.
“The mice will play while the cats are away” doesn’t always apply. Clearly this gal doesn’t respect her husband or their relationship.
LOL, military wives.
Oh my god, I agree with the photography one so hard. Taking a picture in B&W or Sepia does not make you a goddamned photographer!!! I have like 15 of these people on my friends list.
I have a girl on my friends list who is ALL of those things. I always “like” her depressing status updates to make her feel worse… But when I say she is all of those things above? I seriously mean it.
you know what’s even more annoying than her? all this meme
you know what’s more annoying than all this meme? Rainflower.
OMG some of those are soooo my sis! The others: sooo annoying!
OMG that’s soooo true!
I hate the “OMG I’m so type A, my house is spotless, my kids are perfect, I work out 7 days a week”. Yes, I’m jealous, but it also gets old.
mEH dONT bE jEALOUS…iF thEY wERE rEALLY liKE tHAT tHEY wOULDNT bE oN fACEbOOK bRAGGING aBOUT iT aLL>>>>
word.
They’re also bragging about it because they’re not really happy. I’m annoyed by the people that brag about their life, husband, friends, job, everything is perfect and they love everything, but when you talk to them in person it’s like everything is crap. They’re just trying to convince themselves to be happy is all.
hates the ones that say how much they miss and love their kids and wish they would know that. Instead of writting to an infant and 3 and 5 year old in hopes of them reading your facebook maybe you could pick up the phone. As well as daily horoscopes, those who want to die DAILY (but love life), and really who needs a new photo album every month?
Infants do love the telephone.
I have the Jesus freak. She’ll post this long status about GOD (usually written exactly like that), wait ten seconds, like her status, wait another minute, and then comment on GOD again.
I’m a Christian (yeah I’m a Jesus freak and proud of it) so I wouldn’t mind if someone posted a Bible verse. But liking and commenting on your own status is just annoying.
Liking your own status is like talking about yourself in the third person.
^ This.
“If a man beats his slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property.”
“I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.”
“Whoever sacrifices to any god other than the LORD must be destroyed.”
Maybe you better remember context, because you can’t read anything or quote anything properly without proper context.
In what context could those things EVER be acceptable? I’m so tired of hearing apologists say that we take these things out of context, as if they’d be perfectly acceptable things to say or do if only we had the proper context.
“The LORD is a man of war; the LORD is his name.”
And I sayeth unto you, The bible was written near 2000 years ago by multiple male humans. It’s so incredibly outdated that the entire thing is ill usable today, but the basic ideas are there.
Love people, tolerance, care, sharing, trying to be a good person.
Most of the bible is absolutely NOT about loving people.
Most of the Bible is the history of the Jewish people to give context to the New Testament…
COMMENT REFERENCES RELIGION, ABORTION, OR HOMOSEXUALITY. 500 COMMENTS.
Someone needs to do one that says “Upload picture of celebrity. Tag as self.”
Or even “Upload a picture of celeb. Tag as future husband/love of your life.”
Ugh it’s so irritating. It’s like, sorry girls, you’re NEVER going to marry Justin Bieber and Edward Cullen IS NOT real!!
I’d say most of the girls on my Facebook are like this. I go a little crazy, looking at them all.
*fapping to
^ this
My mistake. I should have noticed.
This is why I only have 56 friends on facebook. I deleted a bunch, and my news feed is beautiful.
LOL Doritos!
I have an adult friend who “checks in” EVERYWHERE she goes! At home, then school to drop off the kids, then the gas station, then the grocery store, then home again, then back to school to pick up kids, then piano lessons, then back to the grocery store, then at McDonalds to pick up the healthy meal she didn’t have time to make, then back home again ….. AARRGGHH!!! Who gives a rat’s ass!!! She does this EVERY SINGLE DAY! I mean …. REALLY???
People like that are just begging to be stalked!
Not amused. I think I’m going to give up Cheezburger. I hate this layout.
It is really terrible. I thought the page was just loading incorrectly (as it does pretty often). But a plain white background for miles of content? Bleahhhhh!
21 is my favorite. Could not stop teh lulz. I swear I know her.
“OMG Don’t wanna talk with anyone! </3 !
"
Someone comments on status. Minutes later, is having a conversation on said status.
ughh..people who put “haha” in a status even when it’s totally NOT funny! for example: “Going swimming with friends! haha”
This doesn’t just apply to girls you know. I know some guys who fb exactly like this!
OMG at the wife with the deployed husband. That is awful!
Yup, We all have someone on our list like this.
And if you don’t, It’s probably you…
I know a dude on FB exactly like this. He does around 20 posts a day. He does a “song of the day” thing. He has watched 26 of the 100 best rated movies on imdb. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
No “daily optimistic comment”? Y’know, the oones that wake up… and it’s like “It’s a beautiful day!” Every day…. -_- Usually at 7 am…
I have one who makes her everyday routine sounds soooo complex “Attempting this essay….doing some homework” Just irritating.
I also love the ones that post a status, and then delete and repost it because no one commented on the first one.
I don’t get having your relationship status be “married to…” when you’re 15.
Maybe their Mormon?
I have one that post’s million pic’s of herself and then likes all of them, puts some status and likes it and then ask’s us if we’ve read it, then proceeds to explain how she came up with such a profound deep status message with words like diz da f9 etc. Every time she is sad her profile pic is of a girl crying
I’ve often wished FB had a Puke button next to the Like button. Man, I’d be clicking it regularly!
I guess it might produce massive Facebook bulimia.
^This
You missed out
‘Has 1340 friends’
D
‘Omfg I don’t know who dis person is omffg
Then WHY DID YOU ADD THEM?
Idiot.
I have a friend that can not spell but claims to be on the deans list.
“OMG Liek DRWho iz nwe 2nite!!!
WTF????
Also does the “Hates when others talk behind someones back/ doesn’t tell the person directly” because she’s “nice” then talks about people behind their backs!!
Annoying Facebook Guy
Searches for girls he doesn’t know in alphabetical order…
Sends friend requests to ones that he thinks are hot then calls them skanks.
hahahah
Also the ones who every Friday post “IT’s Friday!!
” and every sunday “Tomorrow’s monday 
“.
It’s annoying to see those status every single week!
We know a song about that…
^ This
YES!! TGIF has gotten to be such an annoying post.
I forgot to mention. People posting their BBM number is every status now.
Oh, my freaking heck… every single one is my girlfriend… holy wow. I hate my life right now… good thing she’s hawt.
Best. Meme. Ever
There’s this one girl drives me crazy, she writes “vague” things- such as,
“OMG, I freakin love him!” (doesn’t mention name) or, “I’m neverrr doing this again- ughhh, its soo painful!” (..this..)
Obviously trying to get attention. Oh and dare I speak of the Friend Collectors.. such as: Message:”OMG! I like, totally saw you in the dentist’s office! Plz add meee!!” *Friend Rqst* They add as many ppl they possibly can in an attempt to look popular. Losers. -_- Sometimes I wonder how so much stupid can fit into such a small brain..
*Updates Status To In A Relationship*
“Is it bad that I don’t want to do all the work in the relationship? I like it better when the boy gives me everything and I don’t and he still knows I love him. <3 TexT Me!"
I SAW THIS YESTERDAY… I laughed so hard. Fail.
Upload new photos. Name album of off currently popular song lyrics.
And put a “<3"
Also something that covers the “Going out with my betches tonite! Its gonna be a sh*t show!!! You don’t even know! We run (insert bar, club, or city).”
yup I got one of those on my friends list too, especially the whole “hate parents, birthday in bahamas”
I have the girl that edits her photos to look “dramatic” in piknik and then tags her ENTIRE friends list in them to “let them know how much she loves them”
Girls “who typpesss lyk dissss” and puts a heart on every status, or post lyrics to songs as updates constantly.
You know those comments where they’re like “omggg I’m like sooo ugly in this picccc!!! take it offffff” where they’re obviously trying to get you to deny it? Has anybody ever been like “Yeah you look disgusting. I don’t know how you can leave the house without a bag over your head”?
I didn’t know spitters had facebook.
Thank God I don’t have a Facebook. But from the look of my friends on AIM (Facebook is too mainstream), they all are like this. I need some new friends.
Also just realized there is another Grammer Nazi commenting. I’m not he/she, by the way.
*Grammar. Come on, man. It’s in your name, for God’s sake!
There’s a girl on my Facebook who posts pictures every five minutes and then edits said pictures with annoying song lyrics.
cracked up at the last one with 200photos xD
Status: “OMgzzz had such a terrible day, so depressed, my life sux
(((”
(((”
Friend comments: “Omg wat happened?”
Status poster comments: “I don’t want to talk about it
SO WHY DID YOU POST THE STATUS IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Has no friends, no one likes him
“OMG THERE’S SO MUCH DRAMA FOR ME!!!!!”
*Trolls*
___
I troll because I love attention and I fail to be funny in any other way
… I know a GUY like that. He types in “Singlish” or “Manglish” all the time, likes all of his own posts and uses a whole lot of exclamation marks. But what can I do, he’s one of my best friends. I can’t delete him from my list.
I like the annoying girl pic “First Day of Spanish Class, ADD SPANISH TO LANGUAGES!” Hahaha.
Ugh. The stupid things teenage girls do and/or say on Facebook makes me ashamed to call myself a teenage girl. I do not have a Facebook, and will not have one unless I have a real reason to have one, like my own business or something of that sort. What ticks the crap out of me is the whole, “OMGEEE!!!!1!!!!!!!111 jst hrd JBs nu songgggg!!! He’s soooo hawwwt!” Makes me want to hurl. (The Justin Bieber crap, and terrible grammar.) Another thing, what’s with adding every person you lay eyes on as a friend??! If they’re a jerk at school/work, you barely know them, they’re annoying, or whatever, WHY IN HEAVEN’S NAME DID YOU ADD THEM AS A FRIEND??? There is a choice to decline friend requests you know. Sheesh, some people are absolutely idiotic.