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Y AINT YALL SCUSSIN THE HYPERCOASTER U POSE B DOIN THAT!
hehe
Ha?
What do you call a drummer w/o a girlfriend?
Homeless!
i love it
What do you call a drummer w/o a job?
Hopeless!
A drummer without a job is just a drummer.
Did you hear about the band that locked their keys in the van? It took them half an hour to get the drummer out.
Buncha anti-drummites!
Q. How many bassists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None, the keyboardist does it with his left hand.
Q. Why does the drummer run off with the guitarist’s girlfriend?
A. The guitarist has no rhythm.
Q. How many lead guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None, they just steal somebody else’s light.
Q. How can you tell a singer is outside your door?
A. He can’t find the key.
Q. What’s the difference between a puppy and a singer-songwriter?
A. Eventually the puppy stops whining.
Q. How do you get a rock guitarist to shut up?
A. Put a piece of sheet music in front of him.
Q. What do a vacuum cleaners and electric guitarists have in common?
A. Both suck when you plug them in.
Q. What’s the difference between a jazz band and a rock band?
A. A rock band plays three chords in front of thousands of people.
Haha! This was a failbook that wasn’t a fail nor a win :S
apathybook, do you like that?
meh…
Exactly!
You’re not being apathetic, but I don’t care.
I didnt get any of the jokes…
….
^ Must be a drummer.
Im a drummer and i LOLed. Mainly because most bands can’t get 15 seconds into a song without the drummers rhythm holding their hand…
I too am a drummer and i also LOL’d.
I am a guitarist and I didn’t LOL at orange’s original post because it was stupid but I sure laughed at black’s replies
You should LOL because you can take a joke, and not get defensive
That’s because you think any garage band is made up of actual musicians.
Seeing as how drummers are the only real musicians, no i don’t agree with you.
Ikr? Others are just instrumentalists… Drummers actually understand the music…
Dream Theater. Care to revise your statement?
uh huh…see, all the drummers I know can’t even read music, much less tell me what key it’s in or how to transpose it.
But do you really have to read music to play it? My great-grandfather played harmonica, my grandfather accordion, I’m playing guitar and we all could never read a single music note. We played by hearing.
Are you a drummer?
You’re not a musician then, obviously. And by that I mean you’re a drummer.
Olol. What do you throw a drowning bass player? His amp.
I is not amused.
again, i love it
Too far…
unhappy bass player is me
There’s a difference between a drummer and a percussionist. The latter is better trained and plays better then a drummer. Drummers are notorious for being off beat, being too loud, and basically being like a kid pounding on his mom’s pans.
The all powerful Jami has spoken, all listen to Jami, though she is generalizing way too much.
NO.
Fear of a name increases fear of the thing.
Heh. This actually reminded me of an olddddddd joke.
A musical director wasn’t happy with the performance of one of the percussionists. Repeated attempts to get the drummer to improve failed. Finally, in front of the orchestra, the director cried in frustration,
“When a musician can’t handle their instrument, they give him two sticks and make him a drummer!”
A whisper was heard from the percussion section:
“And if he can’t handle that, they remove one of his sticks and make him a conductor.”
Heehee
and if he can’t handle, that, they remove the other stick and make him a music director
HA! Best joke here.
Hahaha! The first one is totally a singer’s joke, though…
Here’s my favourite musician joke:
How was counterpoint invented?
They put four guitarists in sight reading on the same score
What’s the definition of a quarter-tone? Two oboes playing in unison.
What’s the definition of perfect pitch? You chuck a bass into the trash and it doesn’t touch the sides.
Told during concert by the drummer of 90′s alt rock band Toad the Wet Sprocket:
Q: How do you get a drummer off of your door step?
A: Pay for the pizza.
lol i remember them doing that at concerts
Lol, all of these drummer jokes.
Does the same count for beat boxers?
Was that Michael Caine?
Best part of the entire post, that’s what’s about Michael Caine!
Yep, from The Muppet’s Christmas Carol as Scrooge. Am I strange for knowing that?
Lol, nope. That is from the muppet’s christmas carol!!
Nope! That was the first thing I cared about in this whole post!
How do u know u have slept with a horn player?????
U wake up with a hand up your arse.
I thought it was “How do you know you’re dating a f. horn player? a: when they french kiss you, they try to shove their hand up your ass”
my husband is a drummer… wonder what he will think of these
He can think?
…uh, what?
duck!
Drummer?
He doesn’t
No hate for the drummers. If a band doesn’t have a drummer it can never be a good band. Besides… Did you know that the instrument that will train your brain the most are drums? It’s a fact.
Well yeah, the leap from 35-85 is a lot bigger than 100-110
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Thanks for that.
The Kills didn’t have a drummer…
who the h3ll are the kills?
Sorry, I thought people knew them… I guess I was having a hipster moment once again lol
I really liked them until they did that idiotic song with Placebo. The lyrics were so eye-rollingly hackneyed that it turned me off them forever!
Right… you just have good musicians like Andy McKee, Don Ross, Antoine Dufour, Eric Johnson, Peppino d’Agostino, etc…
There’s a reason there’s no drummers with solo careers. The closest you get is like the Blue Man Group, and they had to paint themselves blue.
Jojo Mayer, Dave Weckl, etc.
Yes there are…
Ringo?
Billy Cobham!
Phil Collins was the drummer of Genesis before a very successful solo career. Dave Grohl played drums in Nirvana and started Foo Fighters. Your argument is invalid.
Yes, but there are other instruments in Foo Fighters and Genesis, therefore they are not solo. Your counter-argument is invalid.
but Phil Collins was succesful solo, therefore your counterargument
is invalid
the first Foo Fighters album was all Grohl, except a single guitar part in one song, and when he was in Nirvana he released a completely solo cassette of a few solo songs, not pure drum solo, but still a solo effort by a drummer…
Why is the jokester’s pic a shot of Ebeneezer Scrooge in Muppet Christmas Carol?
That’s hardcore metal drummer $#!t right there…
^ This comment should only be read with nathan explosions voice.
^ This comment should only be read.
^ This comment should only be.
^This
^
How do you get a drummer off your porch?
Pay for the pizza
What do you do if a female vocalist is on your porch?
Just ignore her. She can’t find her key, and wouldn’t know where to come in
How do you know a violin is playing out of tune?
The bow is moving
What’s the last thing a drummer says before he leaves the band??
“Hey guys, I’ve written a song!”
LOL
ALL RIIGHT!!!
Coming back from break the other day, I found the bass player and the drummer arguing heatedly.
“What’s the problem?” I asked.
“Dave [the drummer] un-tuned two of my strings”, said the bass player.
“So, what’s the problem?” I asked again.
“He won’t tell me which ones!”
Q: What’s the difference between an onion and a drum kit?
A: No one cries when you take out a knife and cut up the drum kit.
My fav:
Why are Drummer-Jokes so simple?
So that even the Guitarist can understand them…
How can you tell a drummer is at your door?
He rushes when he knocks.
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they have a machine to do that now.
What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
Gifted.
Did you hear about the drummer who went to college?
Me neither.
What is the difference between a bad drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug a vacuum in before it sucks.
I got a million of ‘em.
Are any of them good??
^
I actually lol’d at that comment.
How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but then four more say “I could have done that!”
How many less vocalists does it take to change the lightbulb?
Only one. They hold it and wait for the world to revolve around them.
Oh my god love this!!!
How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three. One to do the job and two more to complain about how high it is.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cEPydnb0Ns&w=480&h=390
You do know this has auto-embed, so you just need to post the link, right?
I am not a drummer but still loled^^
Does that mean I am weird?
I think that should be qualified as FRENCH horn player…they’re the only horn players who put their hands in the bell lol
Reply button
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How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
Stick your hand in the bell and miss half the notes.
the drummer is very special…he’s little more than audience and a little less than a musician
and also, the drummer is the luckiest of the fans…because he can watch the band play from the best seat
the drummer is a musician’s best friend
How do you improve the aerodynamics of a drummer’s car?
Remove the Dominos pizza sign.
(also can be used for any instrument of your choice)
WHY CANT I SHARE THIS TO FACEBOOK
WAIT FOR THE PAGE TO LOAD
How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
4: One to do the work, and the rest to sit around and explain to him how Neil Peart would have done it better.
Neil Peart defies all drummer jokes.
Anyway,
Q: How do you protect something valuable from being stolen?
A: Put it in an accordion case.
All drummers, jokes, deify Neil Pert
What do you call (fill in name of whatever instrumentalist you think is a dumbass) in a shirt and tie?
The defendant.
NUNU BOT 7 i tells yall !
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
It is funny because it is true.
How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them
1 to do it and the rest to say they can do it better.
What do you call a trombone player with a beeper?
An optimist
They forgot the best one -
What’s the difference between a dead trumpeter and a dead drummer in the middle of the road?
The trumpeter was likely heading to a gig.
All of the above jokes made me laugh XD
To all those who hate on drummers, two words: Buddy Rich.
Also, my dad was a drummer and I dated a drummer. What does that say about me?? lol
What do drummers use for birth control?
Their personalities.
Let me point you towards Roger Taylor, drummer of Queen.
How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, two, three, four, one two… uh, crap. Can we start over?
How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb? 15, 1 to change the lightbulb and 14 to say “Pssh, I can do *that*”
BADUMTISH!
A drum kit falls off a cliff.
*bahdumtish*
Genuine conversation a few years ago in a nightclub:
*guy wanders over to me*
“Do you wanna be in my band?”
*laughs* “No, I can’t play anything”
“That’s alright, you can be bass”
I use that one all the time.
We pianists are far superior to all you lesser musicians. Bow before us and bask in our glory.
You can’t use vibrato, or bend notes.
Why would I want to do either? I can play both the bass and treble clef. YOU BEST RECOGNIZE M K?
So? I can play instruments (violin, cello) in both. And unless you can play the Death Waltz I am unimpressed.
This is just awesome.
“2 seconds ago”? The black one posted it on failbook – staged.
…Is it just me, or is black’s picture of Ebenezer Scrooge from Muppet Christmas Carol??
kid goes to his father and says ‘Daddy, when I grow up I wanna be a drummer’
father says ‘Son, you can’t do both’
This is 1) Why I also play piano. No one can say they’re more skilled than a pianist – you guys can play one note at a time. Try playing 6+ notes at a time on a regular basis. And 2) I call myself a percussionist, not a drummer.
So you’re a percussionist and also a percussionist!
How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to change the bulb, three to watch to see how he did that. And the other two to say “I can do that better”.
What’s the difference between a drummer and an extra large pepperoni pizza? The pizza can feed a family of four.
What do you get when you have two oboes playing in unison? A minor 2nd.
What’s the difference between an alto sax and a chain saw? The chain saw has better sustain.
How do you tune two flutes? Shoot one.
What’s the difference between a lawn mower and a flute? You can tune a lawn mower.
This is wrong on soooo many levels. Drummers are badass!
I also play piano (is one of my instruments) but I know the truth: the piano was only invented so the other musicians would have a place to put their beer.
What’s the difference between a Drummer and a Savings Bond?
A Savings Bond eventually matures and starts making money.
P.S. I’m a drummer and these are all terrific.
why does a bass have 4 strings?
3 for emergency in case the 1st one breaks xD
A psychic goes to a concert and reads the thoughts of the band members.
Singer: “I’m gonna sleep with her tonight. No her. Oh who am I kidding, I’ll do them both.”
Lead Guitar: “Hell yeah, I can’t wait for my solo, my solo is almost here, I wanna play my solo!”
Drummer: ” ”
Bass Player: “A-A-A-A-C-C-C-C-A-A-A-A-E-E-E-E”