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Oh, Baby…

funny facebook fails - Oh, Baby...

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  1. Tank668 says:

    I seem to remember these from the book “Truly tasteless jokes”

  2. NangWarrior says:

    NANG!

  3. this_guy says:

    fleming FTW….

  4. jay says:

    oh, that is disgusting and oh so wrong, but I couldn’t help laughing

  5. gedd74 says:

    How do you get a baby into a shoe box ?
    With a blender
    How do you get it out ?
    With a straw

  6. Lukas N. says:

    Ewww. There is a place in hell, especially for you…

    • Terminator says:

      Yes there is…it’s called SPAAAAARTA!

    • trAlko says:

      it is an effing joke guys!

      • Lukas N. says:

        a) it is morally wrong to even say such things. (imo)
        b) I was joking as well, if you dont get it. In the sense of the demotivational posters…
        c) black humour is something different, this is just tasteless

        • Joe says:

          Who cares about morals anymore? I sure as hell don’t, I can tell you that.

        • TheDarkSide says:

          I disagree; to say or type something doesn’t really have anything to do with ones morals. The action is what defines if someone does or doesn’t have any morals as the majority of people couldn’t just kill a baby, even though they could joke about it. So while these jokes maybe tasteless, they still fall under the realm of black humour, because they make you think of immoral things, without changing your own perspective of what is right and wrong.

          • TootsieFarkleFanny says:

            I am trying to sound as unrant-like as possible here. This is just a disagreement with your disagreement:

            Joking about acts of violence, even ones as far-fetched as killing babies, desensitizes people to violence, if only in minute amounts each time. That desensitization is directly related to morals. It may not make people want to rush out and kill a baby, but…

            What about the morals of telling such a joke in the first place? All well and good for a couple of friends who know each other, bantering on facebook; but really didn’t need to be repeated.

            Making people think about immoral things is very, very different from joking about them.

            • TheDarkSide says:

              Touché, but then again, the same can be said for violent TV shows, movies, and video games. As this is just another topic of “where do you draw the line “I don’t think either side could win the debate, but I’ve always been a sucker for the underdog.

            • ChagrinnedGoat says:

              So you think that somebody who spends all day “killing” pixels in a video game is actually mentally preparing themselves for killing an actual person? Despite what many people seem to think, and I understand there are exceptions, becoming desensitized to things in fiction does automatically desensitize people to reality. No matter how many jokes one may enjoy telling or hearing about dead babies, they won’t be prepared for a parallel situation actually happening.

              • Sara says:

                Actually, sociologists have proven, via several studies, that watching violence on TV *does* greatly increase the risk of that person eventually becoming violent. It is part of socialization.. as humans, we learn how to act by watching others act. The more violence we see, the more likely we are to become violent. There is a direct correlation between the two.

                • Pryde says:

                  Generalizations like that are pure BS. I work at an early childhood centre and parents ask this question all the time and I give the same answer to all of them, watch your child while they play. Most children are fine and calm but the very few that you should watch out for are the ones hit, torment other children and be a right handful when they don’t get their own way. To many parents ignore their children because they don’t know how to deal with them when they act out and when they do they usually reinforce their negative behaviour by shouting or spanking them.

                  It’s just so easy to blame TV and video games for all your problems than deal with the real issues. The attention that children need to become well rounded adults especially during the teenage years where many parents can have to little involvement in their lives.

                  Also I would like to point out that I am negative on pretty much anyone watching television. Many adults like to watch shows like Gorden Ramsey scream at people and Simon Cowell belittle people on TV. How does Charlie Sheens whore mongering effect young adults who have left their parents nest.

                • ChagrinnedGoat says:

                  Post hoc ergo propter hoc.

                • wow says:

                  anybody who browses these sites has seen xkcd knows that correlation does not imply causation. people watching violent shows doesnt mean anything, its people seeking out those shows BECAUSE they like that sort of stuff that causes that correlation. the sociologist may have found that correlation, but because they want to scare people and keep them from playing video games Becuase of what they believe that they are attributing the violence TO the TV shows. not the other way around.

                • Stephen says:

                  I have taken sociology. Correlational studies may show a link between two topics. However. the two topics are not always related. For example there was a corelational study linking the increase in cancer to the decrease in pirates. Therefore, correlational studies are the least significant form of study to try to prove a point. By the way, keep the jokes going. They’re great. XD

                • Slander says:

                  That’s a blatant lie… “sociologists have proven”. PLEASE. Lady get your facts straight… if you even are a lady…. which I doubt….. due to lack of sammich.

              • CastleDefender101 says:

                I have to agree with ChagrinnedGoat. Just because you play Super Mario Bros. all day, does not mean you’re going to run out and bounce on people’s heads or mushrooms in a forest. :/

                Just because you can shoot a gun in a game and kill a guy, does not mean you can actually shoot a gun in real life and kill someone.

            • Megara13 says:

              Except that part of the humor of these jokes is that the jokes themselves are so morally bankrupt that they fall into the realm of parody. I actually find more humor in dead baby jokes than I would in a group of men joking about abusing their girlfriends or raping women.

              One of the most influential essays EVER WRITTEN is, technically, a dead baby joke, by the way. Jonathan Swift proposed, modestly, (in A Modest Proposal) the eating of infants as a way of controlling Irelands population and giving sustainance.

              Why was his essay effective as a parody? Because the proposed solution was so horrifying that it made people stop and think. Now am I saying that dead baby jokes have any intended purpose other than making people stop and say, “Bro, that’s so WRONG!!!”

              …Well, not really, but their function in the world of humor is the same as The Aristocrats, or any other jokes of a similar genre. Pure gross-out, which in a way acts as the opposite of desensitization. As long as we continue to find humor of some kind in these jokes, then we as a society can continue on safely in the knowledge that we still find this sort of thing horrifying.

              And, in conclusion…how many of you were horrified by the “69″ joke? How many of you would be horrified by any sex joke? Game, set, match.

        • Canaduck says:

          It’s “morally wrong” to say such things? With all the horrible, unethical stuff going on in the world and you’re upset about some idiots making dead baby jokes? Jesus, get some perspective.

        • hmm says:

          well dark humour isn’t everybody’s cup of liquidised dead baby

        • Kuroro says:

          A) It is wrong according to YOUR morals… if the jokes bother you, ignore them, avoid them or whatever, but stop trying to push your morals onto other people
          B) your “joke” was just as morally wrong (not to my morals, I don’t really care about religion)
          C) No one talked about black humour… but it’s some kind of humour anyways

        • Awwyeah says:

          But I like black humor. Dem black guys got the best jokes.

    • Raptorkam says:

      There is no hell n00b xD

    • Duaner says:

      Allow me to enlighten you on the topic of humor: Either everything is fair game, or nothing is. It’s really that black and white. When you take it seriously, the joke ends and no one is having fun anymore.

  7. AO says:

    Kinda distasteful imho…

  8. Anne says:

    What’s the difference between my stomach and my uterus?
    There’s no baby in my uterus.

  9. travis says:

    what’s the difference between a mercedez and a pile of dead babies?

    i don’t have a merecedez in my garage.

  10. Moxie says:

    Kind of dropped the ball on hiding the jokster’s identity there.

  11. screwin' you up. says:

    not even funny. shameful.

    • PX173 says:

      What part of “dark humor” do you not understand?

      • fat says:

        Gross-out gibberish != humor.

      • TStartTrim says:

        But dark humor IS unfunny and shameful. He’s just stating the obvious^^

      • tor2ga says:

        What part of dark “humour” do you not understand? Some jokes are tasteless and funny; some are just tasteless. Dead baby jokes are not funny. Slut jokes, while tasteless, are funny.

        • CastleDefender101 says:

          Slut jokes are funny… but dead baby jokes are not. Huh. So we have room to be picky now, eh? How about the people who those slut jokes are made up about? Or blonde jokes? Deaf people jokes? People from other countries? People who have disabilities that retard them physically and mentally? Suicide jokes? Are those funny, too? Come on. Tell me they’re not.

          I do not have an issue with this subject. I have issues with people who waste their lives trying to change something that can, and never will, be changed. People who believe they are self righteous enough that they can post this kind of thing, just to make themselves feel better that they maybe, actually, might have done something good after laughing at their own so-called ‘Dark Humor’.

          Not to mention, the simple fact that people are COMPLAINING about this, is what spurs people to make MORE jokes and CONTINUE the rage OF the joke. Because it becomes ‘forbidden’ and therefore, much more fun.

          • justin beiber says:

            whats the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of black babies?

            you cant unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork

          • Little_Emo says:

            Yes, slut jokes are funny. Sluts CHOOSE who they are, and also can consent to being laughed at if need be. Babies can’t consent to anything, which also brings me to jokes about RAPING babies…That is funny to you? Seriously?
            As for the rest, I know many natural blondes who tell blonde jokes, so I think that one is fair game. I wouldn’t tell a deaf joke, or a joke about mental retardation. No, those are not funny. I don’t even use the term “that’s retarded”, or “that’s gay” for that matter.
            Racist jokes, I’d only say it’s ok if a person of the same race as the joke said it. Same as sexist ones, I find it a little offensive if a man tells a woman joke, but I have no problem telling them myself. It’s more acceptable to laugh at yourself than at someone else, right?
            Can’t say I’ve ever heard a suicide joke, but I doubt I’d find those too funny either.

        • echolocation says:

          “Dark humour”= IDIFTL

        • Your right dead babies are not tasteless, dead babies are tasty :twisted:

        • Alex says:

          So you like children but you’re a misogynist. Ok. Glad you admitted that so we know your opinion is null and void.

        • Kuroro says:

          Of course, jokes that many people find funny (and many people don’t) are just NOT funny

          Seeing as how there are so many people in the world, try any joke, tasteless or not, and by your logic I can rightly say that NONE of them are funny, because someone somewhere in the world will not find them funny.

  12. The Game says:

    LMAO, I already knew a lot of these, but they really are just plain classic XD

  13. hyperhectic says:

    Q: how do you get a baby into a shoe box
    A: with a blender

    Q: how do you get a baby out of a shoe box
    A: with a straw

  14. Chris says:

    Fail on keeping the name hidden

  15. teh d00che – Presidon’t of teh Internetz says:

    I’d say this is a win! Let’s go stalkin’!!!

  16. teh d00che – Presidon’t of teh Internetz says:

    What is tragic?
    - Three babies in a trash can.

    What is gross?
    - One baby in three trash cans.

  17. ABBY says:

    Third rate – no humor. just a load of cr*p.

  18. kc says:

    How did this make it past mods? You can read their names. And it’s so gross.

  19. Dude says:

    Fail on hiding Damien Fleming’s identity.

  20. Dude says:

    Fail on hiding Chris Young’s identity

  21. ABBY says:

    Also humor FAIL.

  22. Organs says:

    Oh, man! It’s 6:30am here, and what a way to start the day! This is AWESOME!!

    What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Mercedes Benz?

    I don’t have a Mercedes in my garage.

  23. Berit says:

    This is horrible…

    Feed your brains with other things than this bad taste of humour!

  24. Zoe says:

    It’s not even funny but digusting and sick. Just look at the dislikes mods. Put it down….

    I’m disappointed in the site now :/

    • HallowedCaboose says:

      What’s the difference between a baby and this post?
      The post hasn’t been put down.

    • TheDarkSide says:

      Zoe, then don’t read it, skip it. Why must you demand that the failbookers take it off their site? Some viewers enjoyed it, why can they not have a good laugh? Is it because you can’t simply disregard one post? That hardly seems fair. And then to say you are dissapointed in the website because the posted one fail that wasn’t to your liking? You are pretentious.

      • Bill says:

        She obviously is a liberal progressive, since if ANYTHING offends her sensibilities, EVERYONE must cease and desist, because her sensibilities > the rest of the world.

        STFU and GTFOH Zoe clown.

    • narcil says:

      Agreed. I’ve never seen so many dislikes on a post on this site before. This one should come down.

  25. Joe says:

    Disgusted and pissed off, great way to start the day.

    • Me says:

      Sometimes it’s better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.

    • TheDarkSide says:

      a dead baby joke pisses you off? How do you deal with rage while watching the news or reading a newspaper? Do horror movies infuriate you as well? Damn these blasphemers! We should gather up all the dead baby joke tellers and burn them all. BURN THE WITCHES!! :S

      • Pun-isher says:

        i love how a podunk, uneducated, american, hillbilly town from the mid 1600s that killed 18 ladies is so popular for reference.

        laughing at cruelty is wrong. If you find joy out of it, then you are also cruel. Every human enjoys cruelty to a certain degree, but wallowing in it, depicted by tasteless jokes, is a shallow & sad.

        • miss riddle says:

          Dude, I’m probably the most un-cruel person on this site. I don’t eat meat. I won’t kill the mice in my attic–I have to use humane traps and let them all out by the forest. My pets are spoiled like children. I probably donate about half my money.

          I think that dead baby jokes are hilarious.

          Your theory doesn’t work, dude.

          • tor2ga says:

            You’re a hypocrite, sweetie. I wouldn’t go bragging about it. You’re a menace to your own species.

            Finding these jokes funny totally negates your vision of yourself as “the most un-cruel person on this site.” Your cruel thoughts are a part of you, which makes you a cruel hypocrite. Good job.

            • Gigglez says:

              Tor2ga, I got a good one for you!

              What’s the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
              You don’t have to bleed the golden delicious apple before you take a bite out of it

            • batman says:

              you just called a vegetarian who donates half her money a menace to the human species because she has a taste for dark humor.

              Reflect on that for a minute.

            • echolocation says:

              tor2ga you’re fun. Seriously. I’m not sure what you think of the world, but it’s definitely not centered in distinguishing what one laughs at and how good of a person one is. Everyone has different taste, and it doesn’t matter how you feel about it, because they could still be trying to make the world a better place in spite of your judgments. Laughing at conceptual humour is a long way from laughing at an atrocity committed against a real person.

            • miss riddle says:

              I don’t think you read the post I responded to.

              Many people are insisting that liking cruel humor makes one cruel in reality. Considering I am far from cruel in reality, this theory is anything but true.

              Thinking these jokes are funny doesn’t make me cruel because I’m not taking any action or hurting any living thing by finding the jokes funny. In order to be cruel, I would have to take some action in reality–I would have to harm a living creature. Thinking dead baby jokes are funny is not harming a living creature.

              I think you have a disconnect from reality.

            • int says:

              Tor2ga,

              The only menace is you, hun. =)

            • asvarox says:

              Does this mean that if I enjoy any shooter game, or “thug game” like GTA, I’m serial killer, thief, drug dealer and should go to jail right now?

        • TheDarkSide says:

          lol, i love that you can get the reference, yet not know it was aimed at posters like you, who display odd similarities.

          Laughing at cruelty is wrong, when it is actual cruelty. A joke, a horror movie, etc… Are not real acts of cruelty, they are impersonated acts played by fictional characters.

          They were reminiscing, not wallowing. What is shallow and sad, is that you can’t see people who enjoy dark humour, such as this, as anything except for cruel individuals. And yet you know nothing about them.

          • Pun-isher says:

            You might have a problem with reading comprehension–

            I said everyone is partially cruel, yet people of your likings are shallow and sad. –

            as for horror films, they are designed instill fear and emotion. Most adults don’t enjoy horror because the fantasy of the thriller has been exhausted. A horror film showing any of these “dead baby” jokes would only be funny to a shallow and sad individual.

            • TheDarkSide says:

              lol, this is fun. First, I would look up comprehension if I were you. Secondly, I never contradicted the words you said, only the points you made, as weak as they may have been.

              You saying EVERYONE is partially cruel was not in my comment once. If you read my reply, I keyed on the subject of you saying “laughing at cruelty is wrong. If you find joy out of it, then you are also cruel.” I then twisted your use of sad and shallow against you, because you are a poor debater.

              And just to refute another one of your pointless points, the majority of the audiences of horror movies are adults, not children.

            • TheDarkSide says:

              tor2ga, I never said they were original. To be funny, well that’s in the eye of the beholder so simply saying they aren’t funny only states your opinion without disproving anything. I said they were reminiscing because it was something I knew of back in the good ol day, and haven’t heard jokes like that in such a long time, similar to “yo momma” jokes. Not that they were reminiscing about killing babies, just a time when those jokes were popular.

              It’s easy to debate with people like you, because you are the kind of people who dislike food without tasting it, or dislike something because it is different. Then turn around and try to say the minority is joining the flock….

              • tor2ga says:

                Wow! Hypocrite 101 could be taught by you. You basically told someone earlier not to judge others by what they say on the internet, yet here you stand judging me! Funny how that works. The food argument was weak. I enjoy new foods, even if they have/had eyes.

                I don’t have to accept your arguments, just like you don’t have to accept my arguments. The only reason I commented is because your comments seem to say that everyone who did not enjoy these dead baby jokes are not allowed to voice their opinion or feel that this failbook post should not have been posted. It’s true they didn’t have to read it and could move on, but it’s also true they are allowed to voice an opinion just like you.

                • TheDarkSide says:

                  lol, please show me where I “basically” said that in one of my comments. You are right though, you shouldn’t judge one on their internet comments. So I’m sorry for grouping you into a stereo type I have, though I still feel like I was correct on my generalization after reading all of your comments.

                  You are right again!! Hooraay!! I never said they couldn’t voice their opinions, in fact I rather enjoyed TootsieFarkleFanny’s comments, and he was part of the opposition, but he had an intelligent debate. I did think it was rather rude to say “I do not like this so I want it removed”, so I voiced that opinion in a few comments. However if you read my comments in which I was debating a point, you would see that I am only refuting comments where the poster was declaring that it is wrong…period. (the rest of my comments were meant for a laugh). And that was to open their minds to broader ideas, that is all. You and Punisher on the other hand, only attacked my comments and did not approach the debate with valid points or any tact. (Except this post, i like this one).

        • mike says:

          Who are you to judge me, for laughing ? You are as entitled to your opinon, as I am to mine.
          Tip: When I dont like something on the “internets” I leave the website

      • Joe says:

        Burn the witches? Ok then……KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

        I don’t care for horror movies, most of them are dumb, I deal with the newspaper and news just fine. So, then when someone tells an offensive black joke to an african-american, should we gather up all the black joke tellers and burn them too? Or the same for hispanic joke tellers, to a hispanic?

        It’s called having an opinion. Ya know, freedom? Numbnuts up there has the freedom to say the dead baby jokes, and I have the freedom to be pissed off.

        • TheDarkSide says:

          lol, im sure you would if you could.

          Your right, you have the freedom to express your opinion. I just found it pretty outrageous to get pissed off by a jester, my opinion

  26. Shansy says:

    really hope those two dont reproduce

  27. A Mom says:

    Hate this, so not funny at all. With all the terrible crap going on these days this is hardly humurous in any shape, form or way!

  28. brit says:

    Nothing even remotely funny about this. It’s just f**king wrong.

  29. Jessica says:

    This is NOT funny this is never ok. This isn’t even dark humor. This is sickening an anyone who finds this funny, I hope you never know the pain of a baby who dies. Where’s this report button this should be taken off Failbook. FAIL as a human being.

    • Joe says:

      These types of jokes are only for a certain audience. I, for one, am perfectly fine with these jokes and laughed. Some people just need to loosen up a little and stop being so serious.

      • Melanisia says:

        Eh, it’s all shock value and no actual humor.

      • Akhuna says:

        “Loosen up a bit”?! Maybe I’m extra sensitive at the moment because I had a miscarriage 3 Months ago. But I can’t laugh about that.

        • echolocation says:

          Perhaps you shouldn’t get in on the action. Sorry about your miscarriage, the best way to move on is to deal with it on your own terms. However, that being said, you still need to loosen up and find light in dark situations, or you’re never going to be the same. I’ve had a miscarriage before, and I can at least tolerate and sometimes find dead baby jokes to be funny. btw, posting something that makes you sound easily offended and easily trolled tempts me to say horrible things, but since I have taste and reserve I’m not going to…but for future reference, it’s not the brightest idea to share your pain on a thread where people are laughing at dead babies.

          • Harmony says:

            Akhuna, not everybody on this thread is laughing at dead babies. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that if you choose to try again you get your rainbow baby. Being an angel mom isn’t a title we ask for but we take our experience and use it to help others cope and find strength through their pain, without dead baby jokes.

            • echolocation says:

              ^Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha………..hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha^ “Being an angel mom isn’t a title we ask for…..blah blah blah, etc”…..REALLY?! I can’t believe you SAID THAT! I didn’t know pagans believed in angels too! Wow, I’m sure that sap made it all better for her.

              • Pun-isher says:

                pagans aren’t atheist, dolt.

                • echolocation says:

                  Wow, you called me a dolt for calling her out on an aspect of mythology that in my experience is only reserved for Christians? She believes so far in Gods/esses, the teachings of Christ, and angels. I’m sure there is moar.

                  • Pun-isher says:

                    well it was a dolt thing for you to say. Angels aren’t exclusive to Christian faith. Pagan believe really isn’t limited to anything. You can go on disagreeing with her all you want, but if you are going to boisterously lol and mock someone with haha’s, then try to do a factcheck first…….or you’ll have bored people at work (me) calling you a dolt.

                  • Harmony says:

                    Your experience must be very small indeed, perhaps if you were using the internet to research world religions instead of dead babies you might be able to have an enlightening and intelligent conversation. As I stated Pagans study all different world religions and find the common truths. There is more than just one religion that has spiritual figures such as Angels. Native Americans call them Spirit Guides. Every belief has their own name for Angels. Since most people are from a christian background it is the easiest term for people to recognize. Jeesh.

                    • echolocation says:

                      I don’t learn about things from the internet, for the most part, unless it’s current events. I read books, lots and lots of books on these topics. Native Americans call them Spirit Guides, not Angels. I don’t think that’s a big blunder, considering the definitions of angels and the definitions of Spirit Guides are completely different. One is a servant of God in Heaven. The other is typically personified through an Animal Spirit. Though they both do come to guide a person on earth, they are still perceived differently.

                      • Harmony says:

                        Not all Spirit Guides come through as an animal spirit. My father is a Lakota Shaman. Some have ancestors or close family members who have passed that come to them as their Spirit Guide. And Angels and Spirit Guides are alike becuase Spirit Guides are considered servants of Yah-Weh, The Great Spirit who is the Native American form of the Christian God. They are sent by Yah-Weh to guide and teach those who are open on how to follow the Red Path and help others. Sounds alot like the Christian version of an Angel to me.

                • echolocation says:

                  I’m not in the slightest heartless. I get through my trials by learning how to handle them, for the most part, on my own. I know that Angel Moms are women who have miscarried, but I don’t believe that I am one. I believe the child I lost was not yet ready to be here. I am at peace with what happened. I don’t feel the need to keep dwelling in the hurt and pain of it by naming myself something ridiculous. I think it’s very trite and seems odd to keep holding on to something that hurts, instead of accepting it. I also feel that giving someone advice toward moving past a situation, as opposed to giving them perpetual sympathy is compassionate in the long run. I would much rather have someone tell me how they dealt with a situation than give me sympathetic noises that are meaningless in the face of that kind of pain. You’re enabling sorrow instead of empowering growth.

                  • Harmony says:

                    In a situation like this sometimes all people want to hear is im sorry for your loss. They dont need your story but your sympathy.

                    • echolocation says:

                      Maybe so, but I never wanted to hear I’m sorry, I’m sorrys didn’t make anything better. I wanted to hear what I could do to make it better for myself, and the people in my life…and I only really respond to people that I know in a studied compassionate fashion. If you’re going to be online posting in a dead babies thread, then you’re getting my opinion and advice.

        • Atidrim says:

          Sorry to hear that. I think these “jokes” are nasty and vile. Pathetic people laugh at them. Doesn’t matter if there’s terrible things happening in the world, “loosening up” doesn’t mean being depraved, imo. Telling jokes like this only highlights what a sick world this can be.

        • Gigglez says:

          That’s an easy thing to say. When people insult my parents I say they’re dead.

          It’s a joke.

          It’s like music. Some people like country music
          And others, like me, like death metal and Marilyn Manson.

          We’re not serial killers, we just think a particular joke is funny.

        • Anon says:

          Depending on how long you were pregnant before you should have loosened up quite a bit due to that. So what’s your problem?

    • TheDarkSide says:

      Nice passive-aggressiveness. I’m not sure where the report button is, maybe it’s the “Esc” key on your keyboard? I’m sorry you feel that this post needs to be removed from this site that isn’t yours to edit. Maybe just skipping and ignoring this post would help? Otherwise you may want to think about some anger management sessions.

      • Pun-isher says:

        ….because ignoring cruelty has such a vibrant history in this world.

        • Canaduck says:

          Are you seriously saying that ignoring a facebook post is like ignoring cruelty? As someone who spends the majority of her time as an activist against the real cruelties of the world (you know, where people and animals are actually getting hurt or killed) I’d better see you out there with me.

          • Pun-isher says:

            relay for life captain pooled 3rd highest out of 50 last year. Make a wish foundation processor, and retired helpline 2-1-1 counselor. A couple more, none of which i’ve received compensation. I’m always game to explore new programs though, what are you into?

            • Bill says:

              Someone call Chuck Woolery, a Love Connection is in the making right here. Chuck will be back in 2 and 2!

            • Stephen says:

              Well, someone likes to blow their horn. So al these activities that you have done allow you to tell us what to laugh at because you believe they are immoral? Again, morals change from person to person, culture to culture, etc. On another note. You very well could have skipped this post. Last time I checked we still had freedom of speech.

        • TheDarkSide says:

          …because a facebook post with dead baby jokes is the same as genocide.

          You sir, are a pompous moron.

    • miss riddle says:

      Failbook obvioulsy doesn’t have a problem with this post considering they posted in it in the first place. Reporting isn’t going to do any good. Failbook isn’t going to remove a post because a few people have a stick up their ass.

      You are taking these jokes far too seriously. These jokes are FUNNY simply BECAUSE they are wrong and disgusting. Most people have (way too much) sympathy for babies more than for anything else. This makes jokes about killing babies funny.

      Then again, I don’t like babies, either. I’m guessing everyone complaining about these jokes are mombies.

      • tor2ga says:

        No, the problem is desert-loins like you find things that are just tasteless and idiotic to be funny. You don’t have sympathy for babies, totally defenseless creatures, and find jokes about them being dead and brutalized funny? I’m not too sure what to say.

        I’m glad the wolves that raised you actually liked babies, or you wouldn’t be here to argue with us!

        • Failblog fail says:

          Erm… tor2ga I don’t know what your problem is. I lost both my parents to cancer, I’ve suffered a miscarriage, my sister just gave birth to a beautiful girl, I am a vegatarian and a Christian.

          Yet these jokes crack me up. Are you saying that because I laugh at jokes about dead babies that I don’t care about children? My husband is Arab yet I laugh at jokes about Arab people as well.

          People like you are the ones who are a tad messed up. Because you can not differentiate between someone’s sense of humour and their true personality. I like how you call everyone a hypocrite when they say ‘hey I like babies’ ‘NO YOU CAN NOT CAUSE YOU LAUGH AT THE JOKES’. You know my favourite joke subject? Cancer. Yeah, I who lost my parents to it. You know why? Because humour helps people deal.

          You could certainly use a bit more of it. And I don’t mind you don’t find it funny, cause I accept you have a different sense of humour. You, however, are not as accepting of us apparently.

        • miss riddle says:

          Alright, now I’m almost positive you are just trolling. You’re trolling, right? No one honestly thinks like this.

          There’s a difference between not liking babies and having no ‘sympathy’ for babies. I would help a ‘hurt’ baby, sure. I would feed and care for a baby if no one else would. I dislikes children in general, but that doesn’t mean that I would do anything violent TO children or that I wouldn’t care for them if the situation arises. It just means that, if I have my choice, I will not spend time around children.

          The argument of ‘oh, well, it’s a good thing your parents liked babies!’ is totally invalid. I never said that NO ONE should like babies. Sure, it’s great that some people have the desire to be parents (not that we are in any danger of dying out as a species, though).

          • Céline says:

            “I dislikes children in general, but that doesn’t mean that I would do anything violent TO children or that I wouldn’t care for them if the situation arises. It just means that, if I have my CHOICE, I will NOT SPEND TIME around children.”

            miss riddle, … REALLY ??

            Somewhere in these posts you mention you babysit a lot, so are you being forced to do this or what ? How hypocrite can you get ? You realise you put some huge contradictory comments here, right ? Are are you THAT stupid ?

            Or maybe you’re trying to act like you’re involved with kids so you could brake the statement that only people without kids would laugh at this ‘humor’ ?

            I hope you’ll never babysit again!

            • capn awesome-o says:

              “Are are you THAT stupid?”
              Oh, the irony.

              • Céline says:

                @capn : I had to ask it twice :p

                Why is it, that when somebody is making a point, there’s always another person trying to undo that statement by putting the attention on a grammar mistake ? Just admit that I’m right (except for that grammar mistake!) :)

                • Stephen says:

                  Admit your right? Please, your no more right than the rest of us. I guarantee that you have laughed at a “dark” joke before. Not necessarily a dead baby joke. It could be any form of “dark” humor. Opinions are like butt holes. Some are just bigger and ditier than others. My quote to you Celine. XD

            • miss riddle says:

              …what? I’m confused, Celine. I’ve said nothing that makes me a hypocrite. I think you need to look up the definition of that word. People often throw around that word without knowing the definition, and this is one of those cases.

              I don’t get why you are so upset, I really don’t.

              Let me ask you this: do you every do anything that you don’t want to? Do you WANT to do EVERY LITTLE THING that you do? Do you always enjoy your work–always? Is there ever a little moment at work that you don’t enjoy? Did you LIKE doing all your school-work when you were in school? Even math? Even history? Are you telling me that, in your whole life, you’ve NEVER had to do something that you don’t want to do?

              I don’t care for baby-sitting. It’s not my favorite activity. I don’t do it because I LIKE to do it. I baby-sit because I have a lot of friends and relatives that need a relatively cheap baby-sitter. See, I care about these people, so I don’t force them to pay out. I don’t know if you don’t have any loved ones, but when you get some, you will find that you often do stuff to help them out, even stuff YOU DON’T CARE TO DO.

              Besides, whether I like kids or not has nothing to do with the quality of care they receive from me, anyway. I don’t have to like it to take excellent care of children. I mean, I don’t like every single article I write for work, either, but that doesn’t meant that I don’t put effort into them.

              Your argument makes no sense. You gotta stop trying, hun.

        • echolocation says:

          I don’t think she’s referring to people who are laid back parents and can take a joke I think she’s referring to Moms out there who freak out at the slightest indication of something offensive and scramble to defend the world and their children against it, whether it’s directed at them, or their going to be exposed to it ever, or not. I just keep having the image of you sitting around picturing dead babies in your head. When I hear a joke like this I laugh at the concept, I don’t IMAGINE someone ACTUALLY putting a baby in a blender and eating it as dip. I think you’re the one who is disturbing me with your offended behaviour. @Failblog, perfect. :D

          • echolocation says:

            what is WRONG with me?! I feel like Failbook is editing all of my there, their, they’res into the wrong form!

          • Harmony says:

            This is disturbing because we have had situations that closely mirror the concepts in these jokes. I have seen a dead child so it isn’t hard to picture these things being done. It’s why I don’t look for them on the internet or search for morbid things. It is easy to view such things as a concept until you have seen the reality in your own life.

        • Harmony says:

          No, wolves would have done a better job raising him. (Romulus and Remus)

    • Asylum31 says:

      My younger sister died when she was 28 days old. I still laughed at these jokes.

  30. mamacita says:

    how did this even make it on?? When it was in the vote section it had 3 times as many dislikes as likes.
    Failbook needs to the Heck!

  31. halfprincess says:

    I was eating something when I read this. Made me hurl, but I kinda admire the creativity (of whoever invented the jokes first)

  32. vicky says:

    That’s really not funny at all because people actually do those sorts of things.

    • TheDarkSide says:

      right because nothing people do in real life is ever funny…

      • tor2ga says:

        People like you (there are lots) are the reason the world has so many cruelties that we can “laugh” about. Keep justifying the cruel and unnecessary…should make you feel proud.

        You, sir, are a pompous moron…sorry to borrow words from you, but they fit so adequately.

        • TheDarkSide says:

          hahaha. look up pompous, and then tell me in which one of my comments where I was being pompous, since I never once stated how great my life is or bragged about all of my achievements. Since there are none, your use of my insult is irrelevant and misplaced.

          Again, no one would laugh if they actually saw a dead baby, it is cruel. But, since we are only talking about joke about fictional characters, it is safe to say that, these jokes, are not cruel.

          • tor2ga says:

            “right because nothing people do in real life is ever funny…” Real life means it’s nonfiction, not fiction. You need to look that up.

            Sorry, pompous is not correct. To be accurrate, I should have used supercilious moron. That’s the better adjective.

            • TheDarkSide says:

              hahaha, really Tor2ga? I gave you too much credit. Taking my earlier comments out of context to work for your own argument, classic. Are you a lawyer?

              good SAT word btw

    • :/ says:

      Challenge accepted.

  33. VGer says:

    Okay these jokes come from the frigging stone age. This stopped being funny BEFORE I WAS BORN.

  34. WTFH says:

    This is not even remotely funny…

  35. Dan says:

    Anyone who considers jokes like these abominable and demands the post be removed and anyone who considers it funny penalized, is obviously incapable of distancing themselves from the concept of actually harming a real infant in a manner even approaching such ridiculous levels of violence, and instead are fully ready and willing to accept the very idea as feasible and realistic.

    People who laugh do so in the knowledge that such a subject is so utterly preposterous to the sane mind that it cannot be taken seriously. People who chide do so in the belief that they or those around them may very possibly one day harm an infant in precisely such a manner, and thus it is their own morbid imaginations and dreadful paranoia that faults them.

    • fishy says:

      Uh, people DO commit those sorts of crimes. Have you ever heard of something called “the news”? It’s a source of information where you can find out what’s happening in places outside of your Mom’s basement. It’s very useful.

      • Shannon says:

        Why yes, we humans have a long history of infanticide and there’s even archeological evidence that in the past we cannibalized them during hard times. This does not negate that fact that dead-baby joke are a fine example of dark humor.

        • tor2ga says:

          No, shock-value does not equal humor. Dark humor is witty. Dead baby jokes are not witty. They feed to people’s inner cruelty and makes them feel superior that they can laugh at this “dark humor” while knowing that they wouldn’t actually commit it. That’s not humor. That’s just sad.

          • RavenM says:

            So, after reading all of your comments, I’d really like to lay down a logical and well-reasoned argument, but honestly, what I’d most like to say to you is:
            Shut the f*ck up.

          • capn awesome-o says:

            And who exactly are you to say what is funny? Does your opinion have authority over mine?

      • Moxie says:

        You missed his point. Obviously real life violence happens to infants, animals and other people. It wouldn’t be dark humor if the such horrors didn’t exist. The idea that the those sharing the joke would themselves conceive of doing such a thing is what makes it perposterous.

        Perhaps you should reflect on what you find funny. I assure that someone finds your own sense of humor hurtful in some way.

      • me says:

        People DO die, let’s stop making movies with people dying in them, it could offend someone. Makes perfect sense. Then, let’s do the same about every other possible subject matter in the world, as everything could potentially offend someone. I like the way you think, very useful. Maybe once every single human is devoid of any kind of emotion, no one will ever get offended again and we can all live in peace and harmony, on a VERY boring planet. /thumbs up

        • tor2ga says:

          You should make a movie about dead babies being piled in swimming pools, flung across rooms, and nailed to trees. I’m sure you’d make millions from something like that.

          • Anon says:

            Hell yeah, I’d totally watch that.
            Make it a clipshow with some nice music to it and you are sure to sell.

            Oh, and actually you making all those comments displaying your intolerance are insulting to me, so according to your very own argument you would need to cease writing those. Otherwise you are just showing off your own hypocrisy.

      • Andy says:

        These things would happen regardless of whether or not the jokes were out there so I’m not really seeing your point here.

      • Stephen says:

        Where did he say that people do not commit these crimes? Don’t warp his opinion just because your upset. I understand that in certain company and in certain situations these jokes can be distasteful. But what is the harm in us posting a few abnormal jokes online in the privacy of our own home/ wherever we are? Exactly, nothing. The internet is full of websites. Find one your comfortable with if you don’t appreciate the free realm of this one.

    • Shannon says:

      Please, be my Valentine!

      (If you would, the roasted-leg-of-baby with fava beans and a nice chianti will on be me).

    • Melanisia says:

      When I was in second grade, a classmate of mine lost her baby sister. Her stepdad was hopped up on meth and dropped the baby in a pot of boiling water when she wouldn’t stop crying. So, yeah, I think people are capable of it. Those in their right minds? no. Certain people who are NOT in their right minds? Yup.

      • Anon says:

        Ah yes, the classic “pretend my baby is a lobster” joke.
        This one never get’s old.

      • Sick(?) says:

        Nice one Melanisia. Boiled baby definitely makes my top 5.

      • miss riddle says:

        You missed the point. The poster didn’t say that violence never happens.

        • Melanisia says:

          “People who chide do so in the belief that they or those around them may very possibly one day harm an infant in precisely such a manner, and thus it is their own morbid imaginations and dreadful paranoia that faults them.”

          So, Yeah, I know for a fact that someone, may very possibly, harm an infant in precisely such a manner, based on previous experiences.

          • miss riddle says:

            In PRECISELY such a manner. Please. Do you really know anyone who nailed one baby to ten trees? Do you know anyone that has a pile of dead babies in their garage? Again, you aren’t fully reading the argument.

            • Harmony says:

              No, but I do know of one woman that had a freezer with dead babies in it, in her garage. Look it up on google people do these things. It is what makes these jokes sick.

    • Mouse says:

      That is the most ridiculously specious argument I’ve ever seen. So I don’t like dead baby jokes because I’m afraid I might actually injure or kill a child someday? Ludicrous. I find it hard to believe this post was written with a straight face.

      Some jokes are simply in bad taste. With the appalling number of children that actually are injured or killed each year, dead baby jokes are firmly in that category to me. It’s not funny when it actually happens; it’s tragic. And it should not be laughed at.

      • Anon says:

        Tasteless != not funny.
        And yes, those jokes are tasteless, but that is what makes them good.
        And yes, it is not funny when it actually happens (okay, sometimes it is), but that has no effect on the humour contained in these jokes.

  36. moomoo says:

    Surely the answer to the question “do you know what’s gross?” has to be 144? Don’t they teach you kids anything these days?

  37. Secret_Moose says:

    WTF backwards is FTW…

  38. felicia says:

    First time I have ever posted on this site.

    This is by far the funniest thing I have seen on this site.
    The last tree joke had me on the floor.
    ciao

  39. Mirunika says:

    this is disturbing, not funny at all…why did this get featured before submiting it to voting??

    • TheDarkSide says:

      failbook is a website run by the cheezburger peoples, not a democracy

      • Mirunika says:

        well,given she controversial subject, maybe they should’ve asked people about it before posting it…it may not be a democracy, but it “survives” because people like it…

        • mamacita says:

          this one was in the vote section, it got at least 3 times more dislikes.. And yet cheezburger featured it anyway.. I think they enjoy the controversy in our comments..

        • TheDarkSide says:

          very true, but either way they would have supporters upset with their decision. I think mamacita makes a good point with they just enjoy our comments, because by leaving it up, its letting the two disagreeing sides debate on why they believe it to be wrong or right which getting both sides of a story is beneficial to everyone. But if they take it down then all the comments stop on this topic, and even though the ones opposed to the jokes get what they want, everyone doesn’t gain nearly as much.

          • echolocation says:

            Way to perspective! Exactly, you benefit from experiencing opposing views. This is the most fun I’ve EVER had on Failbook simply from the range that this debate has taken. First time in my life that anyone has ever called me a sick b*tch without joking lol.

  40. BER says:

    Damien Fleming and Chris Young as well.

  41. GuessWho says:

    … Seriously, dead baby jokes aren’t funny. Fail to the person who posted this.

  42. Jayne says:

    I didn’t find these jokes disturbing or funny. Just lame. Like a junior higher trying too hard to be cool.

    • Stephen says:

      I must applaud you good Jayne. You dislike it for the right reason. I do like the jokes. But at the same time can see why people do not. I just wish people wouldn’t look at it from a personal level. The jokes are not aimed at an one person. Get over it.

  43. mark says:

    I thought this was supposed to be funny?

  44. Jill says:

    Dude dropped the ball on the blender joke. That’s an incomplete answer.

    It should read: “Why do you lower a baby into a blender by its hair?” “So you can look it in the eye as you’re jerking off.”

    THAT’S the whole joke!

  45. troll says:

    What’s red and sits in the corner?
    A dead baby.
    What’s green an sits in the corner?
    The same baby two weeks later.

  46. thinkstheirfunny says:

    how do you get a dead baby to float?

    take your foot off of it.

  47. Ava says:

    Well, I’ve always loved a good dead baby joke but woah, too many at once, bro.

  48. Stri says:

    Haha, we used to make these jokes up in high school to scare our teachers :P
    What’s the difference between a dead baby and its poopy diaper?
    The diaper is no fun to empty.

  49. supbrochill says:

    This isn’t just not funny because it’s tasteless, but because all it is is someone listing jokes. Not clever or anything.

    • TheDarkSide says:

      …do you like stand up comedians?

      • Pun-isher says:

        I am a stand-up fanatic. True comedy doesn’t come from the grotesque shock-factor.

        Chris Rock, Brian Regan, Bill Cosby, lewis black, David Chapelle= great comedians

        Jay Hickman, Andrew Dice Clay, all the queers at friar’s club roasts, david attel are all cheap comedians

        The only exception is George Carlin.

        • TheDarkSide says:

          Obviously over your head. My reference to stand up was in response to supbrochill’s comment of the post not being funny because it simply listed jokes. As many are well aware of, stand up comedians usual list jokes.

          Your argument, on the other hand, is one sided and very weak. True Comedy, if there is such a thing, is an art intended to make the audience laugh, and is accomplished anytime someone does. Just because you may not find the humour funny, doesn’t mean it isn’t “true comedy”.

          i.e. – Chris Rock, and Dave Chapelle, two very funny comedians (both on your list of great true comedians) used jokes that centered on racism to achieve their success. Most would define race jokes as a grotesque shock-factor.

          • ksteel says:

            Game, set and match!

            • TheDarkSide says:

              you are an enabler

                • TheDarkSide says:

                  supporting someone who clearly has nothing intelligent to say on the matter simply because he may support your stand makes you an enabler.

                  • tor2ga says:

                    No, it makes you a sore loser in this argument.

                    • TheDarkSide says:

                      Hahaha…good one? You had to resort to “I know you are but what am I” already?? I would have thought you would at least have made one valid point in all of your rants, but I guess that was wishful thinking

                  • ksteel says:

                    I’m not making a stand, it’s just his comment then was right with dark comedy not being widely appreciated and doesn’t take talent. Most comedians I know that do it have done some other good comedy before it so when they do say something that bad, most people are willing to let it go in hope of it not happening again, some wont listen to the that comedian again. Frankie Boyle is a good example.

                    • TheDarkSide says:

                      my apologies, i mistook your first post for supporting his opinion on the topic at hand. But you are correct, dark comedy is not widely appreciated. However I don’t know if I agree that it doesn’t take talent to do it. Most comedians do do a range of different comedy genres, but i feel like your argument could work against you in that some comedians start with other humor and don’t find their niche until doing dark humor.

                    • El Rob says:

                      Man, I laugh at these jokes. But Frankie Boyle was quite harsh. Still watched tramadol nights though :-P

          • TheDarkSide says:

            Please stop talking; your rebuttals are getting weaker and more desperate as we continue. I never said masochism, or sadism, or anything remotely close to that. That sexual pleasure you think people are getting from these jokes is only what you perceive in your own head, you sick bastard.

            I said “cultural parodies” (way to be pc about it) are a grotesque shock factor, since a grotesque shock-factor can be anything from poop to dead babies to vomit. Please read my post a few times before replying so you may actually comprehend parts of it next time.

            I’m not your buddy guy, you are far too stubborn and simple minded. Sorry dark humor isn’t mainstream enough for you, but obviously they can’t get just any talentless person who doesn’t care about their image to do it since there are only a handful of successful ‘dark comedians’ ever.

            • Pun-isher says:

              that’s because there’s only a handful of shallow, sad people to listen to them. Mostly teenagers (like you), drunkards, or men going through a mid-life crisis.

              • TheDarkSide says:

                Right, your logic is perfect. How does a comedian of dark humor get successful with only a handful of supporters…don’t worry, I’ll wait.

                Also, your assumptions only show how uneducated and misinformed you really are. I know I still have a lot to learn from this world, but I also know who actually has wisdom to share, and who is actually a delusional moron and most likely, clinically insane (i.e. you). Btw, I’m 27

                • Pun-isher says:

                  male adolescence ends around the age of 24, so you’re either slightly below the bell curve or giving yourself a hedge on your age.

                  since you are waiting, I’ll let you know about the success of dark comedians….it’s non-existant. George Carlin aside (who i’ve seen twice live in Vegas before he X_X ) I’ve never been to a sold out show of a dark comedian, nor have i seen one capture the audience. It’s all ho-hum childish humor and most people grow tired of it after thier balls drop.

                  • TheDarkSide says:

                    lol, i like how your argument has turned into trying to belittle me, by calling me immature in so many words.

                    Once again, your genius has missed the point I made. Here it is as simple as I can put it. How does one become successful, without anyone supporting them? the answer, they cannot. So using your example how was George Carlin so famous without any fans?

                    And thanks for filling me in on your extent of knowledge on dark comedians, but once again, your opinion doesn’t strengthen your argument.

                  • Medardus says:

                    I’m guessing you’ve never seen Ricky Gervais?

                    • Pun-isher says:

                      well not live because i live in america, but he’s a prime example. His dark comedy routines and movies were not successful at all, but many of his other influences will be timeless!

                  • Sh1tsNgiggles says:

                    Remind me again why you are oh-so-offended by this topic that is just too close to real life for you to laugh at, yet “It’s all ho-hum childish humor and most people grow tired of it after thier balls drop”.

                    Some many trolls on here. That’s the only explanation because I refuse to believe that it’s humanly possible to be this disconnected from reality.

                  • Stephen says:

                    Well, I can name one comedian. Daniel Tosh. I love his show. He uses dark humor all the time. Example being racial. And for your information my nuts dropped long ago and I still find them hilarious. Yes, some do get a little distasteful but not all of them get out of hand.

            • ksteel says:

              To be honest if dead baby jokes like this can be seen as humour, they really can get any talentless person who doesn’t care about their image to do this.

              • TheDarkSide says:

                the same could be said for almost any job

                • Pun-isher says:

                  are you high?

                  • TheDarkSide says:

                    No, you are just excruciatingly slow

                    • Pickles says:

                      They really do need to make a like button for this site.

                    • Pun-isher says:

                      a talented person who doesn’t care about his/her image can apply to almost any job?

                      Enlighten me further, excruciatingly fast one

                      • Pun-isher says:

                        *epic facepalm*

                        You’re on your own, kid. You’re so far out there that shatner felt my facepalm.

                      • TheDarkSide says:

                        @ Pun-isher

                        ….okay?

                        Do you always just scream “I WIN” when you have nothing intelligent to respond with?

                      • Pun-isher says:

                        how do you argue with someone who feels that a talentless person can get most any job as long as he sacrifices his image?

                        I’m sorry guy, but all i got at this point is an epic facepalm.

                      • TheDarkSide says:

                        @ Pun-isher

                        I really cannot grasp how any human being can be as utterly clueless as you. Every one of your comments contains absolutely nothing besides antagonistic behavior, misplaced use of dialogue because you can’t keep up, and juvenile retorts to any comment with an opinion.

                        lol, I can’t do it anymore, even after giving you several examples proving your ignorance, you refuse knowledge in preference of your own little world.

                      • Pun-isher says:

                        It’s cool TheDarkSide. You’ve basically provided me with a posterchild (you)of the dark humor populas and have become quite content on my stance through our bantering.

                      • TheDarkSide says:

                        hahahahah, np Pun-isher. I will gladly be your poster boy for the dark humor populous. And remember, next time you find yourself unable to comprehend the content of a debate, just call me and I will try my hardest to pry open your mind again.

                      • carlton says:

                        @Pun-isher you are pompous a$$, but i dig your style.

                        @TheDarkSide, this guy is just playing around with you like a kitten with a ball of string.

                      • TheDarkSide says:

                        @ carlton

                        Your metaphor is inaccurate, but, trolled or not, I enjoy debating, even if its with someone just trying to push buttons.

          • Gaz says:

            There’s a difference between listing jokes one after another and performing stand-up. A good stand-up comedian goes up there and converses w/the audience instead of just reciting jokes. There’s timing, pacing, inflection, segues from one joke to another, etc. So yes, someone spouting off a string of jokes lessens the effectiveness of the humor because it begins to feel mechanical & forced. Real stand-up is more organic. But shock value is shock value & has no wordplay or skill to it.

            I don’t hate dead baby jokes but I don’t love them. They’re usually not funny, just a way to get a reaction. But they’re just jokes. Yes, people have abused and killed infants & children in horrific ways, but these jokes are not making fun of the poor deceased children. It’s just an excuse to be shocking and offensive in an attempt to be entertaining. Trying to banish dead baby jokes will not make the world a better place, but laughing at them won’t make it worse. Like many before me have already said, it’s all or nothing. To be fair you either make jokes about everything or nothing. Nothing can be off-limits because of sensitivities, morals, race, sexual orientation, disease, age, handicaps, etc. If you’re offended you can voice your opinion but don’t try to sway others & insult them for their opposite viewpoint. “To each their own” is something the internet has long forgotten & probably will never re-learn.
            And I’m a mother of a newborn baby girl. I have bawled my eyes out reading or seeing stories about actual child abuse and deaths because those are REAL. An actual child senselessly lost their life. But I barely bat an eye at dead baby jokes except maybe a groan – and I have laughed at a few that were actually funny – because I know they’re just jokes and a generalization not related to an actual baby that exists or existed. And even if god forbid something happened to my daughter, I’d probably still feel the same way because I know the jokester is not specifically talking about her.

  50. Moxie says:

    I can handle one or two dead baby jokes but this was a bit much for me. As a baby eating atheist I prefer to get my babies pre-packaged at the butcher’s. I can’t my food looking at me.

  51. WTFH says:

    So long as it continues to receive Dislikes, that’s fine with me!

  52. jezebel says:

    The first was funny… the rest weren’t. like someone else said one or two dead baby jokes is ok-ish but geez… ugh

  53. Brian-M says:

    Why do they boil water when a baby is about to be born?
    So if it’s stillborn, they can always make soup.

  54. onthesunnyside says:

    I’m just glad I wasn’t the only one offended by this. I’m not calling for its removal or anything, different things offend different people.

    I just don’t understand how this can be called dark humor. I enjoy dark humor, but this is too much for me. Probably because of the horrific real life connections and because I have a child and am pregnant with my second so I can’t detach myself.

  55. Alexei J says:

    How do you get a a baby into a jar?
    A blender..
    How do you get it back out?
    Doritos..

  56. kcid says:

    I used to tell these jokes a bit, but it’s 10000x worse now that I have kids. I can’t stand this kind of crap. It’s horrifying that anyone can laugh about it, and honestly I find it unbelievable that at one point I thought these were funny. I’m ashamed of myself for it, and one day, each person telling these jokes or laughing at them will think the same thing when they have kids. And if they don’t feel that way, they’re disturbed individuals.

    • miss riddle says:

      See, I was right. The mombies (or dad counter-parts) are the ones getting offended over this stuff. Not everyone thinks babies are the OMG best thing in the world.

      My gerbils are smarter and smell better than your children, anyway. If there was a fire, I would save the pets first.

      • Harmony says:

        If my children were left alone with you then that would say that there was something seriously wrong with my parenting skills.

        • miss riddle says:

          I actually baby-sit for quite a few friends and relatives. They are always thrilled because I’m ‘such a good baby-sitter’.

          Nice try, though. I’d probably be a better parent than you. See, I wouldn’t lie to my kids and tell them that they are something special. I’d let them know that they are just like everyone else. I’d let them know that they weren’t any more ‘special’ than the poor child down the street or the homeless man downtown. They’d probably grow up into caring individuals rather than selfish brats.

          • Harmony says:

            If they saw your posts I highly doubt they would be comfortable with you around their children. I dare you to tell them dead baby jokes and see if that effects their opinion of your ability to care for their kids. I see one huge flaw to your assumption, In order to raise children into caring individuals you must have a sense of compassion. I am not raising my children to think they are better than anyone else but I am raising them with unconditional love. I would expect anyone who cares for my child to do what is my child’s best interest not anyone else’s. When and if you ever become a parent you might understand, but until then you lack the maturity and experience to differenciate selfish needs from childcare resposibility.

            • TheDarkSide says:

              You can’t have a sense of compassion if you enjoy dark comedy?

              You can’t raise a child with unconditional love if you are completely honest with them?

              Wait I’m confused, where did miss riddle choose selfish needs over the children she was taking care of?

              Last question. Do you always go off on some tangent about questionably relatable topics when replying to someone’s comments?

              • Harmony says:

                *Insert hand gesture here* VROOOOOOOM

                And no not the vulgar one.

              • Harmony says:

                “You can’t have a sense of compassion if you enjoy dark comedy? ” You can but as many have pointed out these jokes are NOT dark comedy they are obsene humor.

                “You can’t raise a child with unconditional love if you are completely honest with them?” No, you can be honest but compassionate at the same time. IE, tell them the truth without shattering their innocent and child-like view of the world.

                Wait I’m confused, where did miss riddle choose selfish needs over the children she was taking care of? Whe she stated that in the event of a fire she would save her gerbil instead of a child.

                Last question. Do you always go off on some tangent about questionably relatable topics when replying to someone’s comments?” No, I propose a different perspective that may require a shift in paradigm to understand.

                • TheDarkSide says:

                  It’s the opinion of the audiance if they relate it to dark humor, obsene bumor, or niether.

                  Cool

                  eh, yea but that was a made up situation and doesn’t prove she would or wouldn’t

                  Hardly

                • miss riddle says:

                  Firstly, I wasn’t talking about my own hypothetical child.

                  Secondly, I was being snarky and purposefully offensive. As must as I wish that I could honestly choose my pets over a human life, I wouldn’t do so. Jokes, how do they work?

                • miss riddle says:

                  Also, you gotta stop with your ‘oh, well, wait until YOU are a parent!’ as if being a parent gives you greater understanding of the world or more compassion than someone who chooses not to have children. Please. Being a parent doesn’t make you special. The majority of people on EARTH will, at some time, become a parent. There’s no special ‘transformation’ simply because a baby is added to the family. it’s an absolutely normal event.

                  I understand why people love their children. I love my pets like children. I love my loved ones to the extreme. Love is not a foriegn concept to me just because I’m not a parent. And no, don’t say ‘there’s no love like a love for a child!’ because that’s not true at all. It’s completely impossible to rank your love compared to someone else’s love. It’s an emotion, and there is no way you can even KNOW that you love your child more than I love my fiance. It’s a different love, but it’s no more powerful or valid than another.

            • miss riddle says:

              My relatives and friends know exactly who I am. They know I don’t even care for children, hence why they think it’s funny to make me baby-sit. :S A few of them would be the type to trade dead baby jokes themselves (yes, get that, parents that like dead baby jokes!). They are all wonderful parents.

              Your argument has a gaping logical hole in it. Where, exactly, is the correlation between liking dark humor and having no compassion? This is a conclusion YOU have drawn, not one that actually exists. I have a sense of compassion. I’m probably more compassionate than you are. I’m a vegetarian. I donate TONS of money. I won’t even kill a spider, dude. I’m all for world peace. I’m probably the biggest modern hippie that ever hippie’d.

              Now, again, how do I not have compassion? Because it seems to me that I possess a good deal of compassion. If I didn’t, would I even offer to baby-sit, usually for free, in the first place? Especially when I don’t care for children? I offer because I CARE about my loved ones and because I don’t want their children stuck in some lack-luster daycare. I’m pretty sure that’s compassion.

              • Harmony says:

                If you understood the true nature of compassion or it’s principles then you would understand how these jokes are wrong. Would you tell these jokes to the Dalai Lama?? I hardly doubt he would think they are funny. Anyone who truly values the sanctity of life and the beauty of innocence would and should be abhored by this type of sick behavior. Like I said if I told these jokes to any of my family I wouldn’t have a tooth left in my mouth especially of my parents and they have been to woodstock back in their day. If parenthood was just a “normal” event then it wouldn’t have the life altering implications that it does. I think the greatest thing a parent ever said about having a child was that it is like having your heart walking around. Loving a fiance and a pet could hardly be equated to loving your child. You will see one day, and I hope you’ll never ever have to go through the pain of miscarriage and infertility to have kids. I hope you have happy healthy kids and you never ever have to bury a child. I hope that these jokes will always remain humorous to you, and you never ever have to bury a child. Trust me you can’t look at the same. When I was sixteen my sister was constantly throwing her kids on me to babysit. In a fit of immature rage I wrote a poem to “vent” my anger. It is burned in my mind. Two little tots I hate to see, One day I’ll kill them both and set myself free. Two years later those two children were dead but by my sisters hsubands hands. I will never ever forgive myself for those words. I know writing them didn’t kill my neice and nephew and that I loved them both dearly, but it still hurts. You never know.

    • Medardus says:

      I have a 6-week old. These are hilarious.

      • Godsfolly says:

        Can I haz your 6 week old if it dieds?

      • Harmony says:

        You know it’s not to late to put it up for adoption. Maybe someone with some actual morals and values can raise it.

        • Jill says:

          Funny how someone calling themselves “Harmony” would tell someone based off of a few dead baby jokes that they’re an unfit parent. Irony!

          • Harmony says:

            Actually Harmony is my birth name. I don’t find the need to hide behind an internet persona to make a statement.

            • Anon says:

              But you should, maybe it would conceal your stupid a little bit, or if not maybe your judgemental nature.

              • Harmony says:

                If your going to insult my intelligence, could you please at least use proper grammar. It is conceal your stupidity, of which you have done a fabulous job.

                • echolocation says:

                  lol, that would be an error in punctuation, not grammar. But you remain one judgmental creature.

                  • Harmony says:

                    No, I just prefer it if people argue to do it in a way that is clear and concise.

                    • Anon says:

                      I actually do just that.
                      Just because you do not get it, does not mean it is not completely comprehensible for others.
                      And even if what you say is true, it does not change a thing about you being more than just very judgmental.
                      What you tried was to belittle me by pointing out this kind of “mistake”, which is not what anyone would call arguing. This also shows a lot about your character.

                      • Anon says:

                        Oh, you can speak your mind all you want to. That still has no effect on the judgemental part. You did display this kind of behaviour quite strongly.
                        I am actually not assuming that you have double standards, and I never said or implied so. Apparently you need to learn that hypocrisy and judgemental behaviour are not the same thing.
                        And did you recognise that you made a mistake in your post, but I am not trying to hold that against you? Yeah, that is how adults argue with each other properly.

                • Anon says:

                  Actually that was pretty much intentional as some sort of reference to the grammar in various memes.
                  English may not be my first language, but I do know that much.

                  • Anon says:

                    I forgot to add: This “mistake” is actually pretty common in colloquial English at least throughout Kansas, which was also something I wanted to commemorate with this post, as I have spent quite a while in Kansas.

                    • Harmony says:

                      I have spent a lot of time in the south, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t control my use of grammar. Just because I was raised among people who talk like inbred rednecks doesn’t mean I have to do the same thing. School was a nightmare because I would constantly butt heads with certain teachers.

                      • Anon says:

                        1. Kansas has nothing to do with “the south”, get your geography together.
                        2. You do not control your grammar. And yes, I am perfectly capable of writing Oxford English. But as I said multiple times: That “mistake” was put there voluntarily.
                        3. There you are showing your judgemental nature again. Or is it actually that you are just stupid? I kind of get the feeling that people just might have not liked you. Everyone I met in Kansas was warm and friendly.

                      • Anon says:

                        I can only agree with you, especially after her last post.

      • miss riddle says:

        Glad to see that there are some sane and awesome parents out there. Keep it up. : D

  57. Amber says:

    What the heck is wrong with people? This is pure horrible.

  58. CandyPants says:

    well, I think I’ve got the mother of all offensive dead baby jokes ….

    What is red and climbs up your leg?

    A home abortion

  59. Itsme says:

    OMG….can you say “OFFENSIVE”? And you know what, it’s not because the jokes weren’t funny….it’s because he kept going.

    • TheDarkSide says:

      eh, “dead baby” jokes are just like “yo momma” jokes, there’s 718 billion of them. They merely hit the tip of the iceberg.

  60. Shannon Kelly says:

    Totally inappropriate. Some of the stuff you post is questionable, this is downright horrid. It goes way beyond “dark humor”, and whoever let this one through should be ashamed of themselves.

  61. Ommg says:

    There really are some things that, when said, are not funny and are not jokes. And it’s not funny someone finds these disturbing and offensive either.

  62. Moe Lester says:

    I like my women as I like my whisky, 7 years of age and mixed up with Coke..

  63. Disturbed says:

    If I want “dark humor” I’ll seek out a site that has it. I don’t come to Failbook for this kind of crap. If it had started out like this then I wouldn’t be upset as I would know that this is what I should expect, however, it is not.

    • Stephen says:

      People can pretty much post what they want. What do you expect to have on it? No, it may not start out that way, but I guarantee it will eventually no matter the site.

  64. God says:

    Hahaha, great jokes.

  65. N says:

    That was GROSS & Really Offensive!!!!

  66. Tabitha says:

    i laughed so hard when it was like you know whats yellow and blue , baby with slashed floaties

  67. Justice says:

    Actually, these jokes say more about the poster, and the defenders, than anyone else. At best these jokes are incredibly not funny. At worst, it’s a window into some sort of sociopaths mind.

    Back in high school there were a few kids I knew who loved these jokes, and yet the only common thread among them were they were severely maladjusted to either family or society. One being a gay kid who turned goth and then ran off with a “coven” which consisted of a couple of fat pasty girls who wore black makeup and purple eyeshadow.

    • No u says:

      I find these jokes humorous and nothings wrong with me. I find them funny because it’s crude and basically makes mothers, well soccer moms go OMGWTFBBQ.

      • miss riddle says:

        I think the jokes are funny and there’s nothing wrong with me, thanks.

        Well, unless you think that being gay is somehow maladjusted, which is more offensive than dead baby jokes.

        • Harmony says:

          Wow so it’s not ok to make gay jokes but it is ok to make dead baby jokes? Isn’t that being hypocritical??

          • Summn says:

            She said homo HATING is offensive. If I gambled I’d bet a ot of money she knows some AWESOME gay jokes!
            You’re not even reading stuff carefully before you chew people a new one anymore Harm! So much hatred and negativity! Here’s a bunch of people gathered to tell jokes and you have this intense need to insult us. We (who are in this comment section to read and post jokes) are just trying to have a laugh, and you (the OMGWTFBBQers) are here for no purpose other than to dis strangers. Who’s the bad person: a group quietly giggling together, or someone who spends hours ranting and trying to make others feel bad? If you don’t like us, piss off already! Keep your negative, judgemental thoughts to yourself!

      • Justice says:

        Um, yeah, okay. I’m sure many sociopaths don’t think they have problems with themselves either.

        • echolocation says:

          I’m just saying, but there’s no evidence of any person who actually commits these acts finding them at all funny. They’re probably more intense and serious and would be offended by the jokes more than a person who was just lightheartedly saying them. So…you might want to think about that ;-P

          • Pun-isher says:

            funny you’d say that!!!
            I conducted a small study on GPA vs joke vulgarity and found a great correlation between college students with high GPAs and corny jokes and a people who are flunking/ poor grades and vulgar and sexual jokes alike.

            So i have some evidence in intelligence vs. dirty jokes…..and there’s Definately a correlation between ignorance and crime. I can’t draw the connection of causation, of course, but sometimes common sense can be a good guide of perception. Bad people enjoy bad things.

            • No u says:

              Studies fail, since every single person on this earth is different. Studies don’t give you pure solid evidence, it just helps your theory, but doesn’t make it a pure fact. I for one got a 3.5GPA without studying and love to make/hear vulgar jokes and sexual jokes. Not to mention some people can have easy courses thus making their GPA high, others can have difficult courses making their GPA lower than those with easy courses. I for one had a mixture, of easy, mildly difficult and difficult. So your so called “study” is flawed.

            • echolocation says:

              Yet the most horrifying crimes were perpetrated by people who were proven to have very high IQs. So really, your study proves nothing. Besides, I sincerely doubt that your study, in addition to covering the GPA and dirty joke correlation, also covered the life situations of each and every one of these people. I’ve noticed that people who were raised in poverty have a tendency to construct jokes that are more inappropriate due to the fact that they’ve probably survived many of these situations. Also, medical students and other people in high-intensity majors may or may not be making excellent grades but they do have more difficult coursework than someone in say…for instance….Political Science; yet I know for a fact that almost everyone in the medical field laughs at the most disgusting jokes I’ve ever heard…as a way of coping with what they have to deal with while doing the greatest deeds for people. Some of these people also have to spread themselves thin due to having to work while also going to school, and perhaps raising children at the same time. I know a lot of single idiots who were well-off from birth who have no ability to laugh at the difficulties of the world because they’ve never experienced anything like it, and are unable to cope with the concept. I also believe that you are misled by the idea that criminals are idiots or even ignorant. I also have friends who have committed crimes, not out of being a bad person, but perhaps out of necessity in a situation. They were just caught, whereas someone who is more intelligent and ruthless would NOT be caught if they were perpetrating the same crime. Your reasoning is flawed…it’s almost like you’re….throwing the baby out with the bathwater ;-P

              • Pun-isher says:

                so basically you just took a thousand words to say that my correlations do not equal causations.

                ..i covered that, thanks.

                My data consisted of only 650 applicants in college. I’m sure your case study would have fallen just fine in the data. It was a 1-9 likert scale with 1 being not funny at all and 9 being extremely funny. I bet you and your 3.5 GPA would probably rate a general baby joke as a 5-7, which falls into my data just fine.

                What the example really suggested was that lower GPA people went to more extremes on the bad jokes, giving a strong sexual joke a a solid 9, where the higher GPA students would usually put it somewhere in the middle.

                But if you don’t think that ignorant people love dirty, filthy jokes, then visit a prison and tell them these two jokes.

                1) I was driving down the interstate and nail, driving a sportscar, flew by me going 100 mph! I squinted to see what kind of car he was driving, but all I could make out was an “S” spraypainted on the back of the car. I turned to my friend in the passanger seat and said “man, did you see that “S-car-go?!”

                2) dead baby joke

                and don’t tell me that the snail joke isn’t awesome, cause it is.

                • echolocation says:

                  I don’t have a 3.5 GPA, you’re referring to what someone else said. You didn’t answer my question. You obviously didn’t take into account their life situations. I know plenty of uptight ex-cons and plenty of physicians, pharmacists, and other high-intelligence-having persons who love twisted sick jokes and would probably rate them higher. I don’t really care what your opinion is on the matter, I was looking for evidence of where INTELLECT was proven in the matter. GPA does not at all prove intellect. IQ does. I wish you would have given me more info rather than patting yourself on the back. All you did was repeat what you’d already said before.

                  • Pun-isher says:

                    i meant to comment to the No u.

                    I didn’t really want to comment to you b/c you are inserting your own case study to try and thwart a randomized study. Certainly some horrible crimes are done by very intelligent people. Certainly my data doesn’t represent an entire emotion that applies to every social class. I’m not drawing conclusions here, but rather showing that I’ve found some significance in the study of intelligence & vulgarity. It’s a small, small piece of the pie, I know, but it’s my piece and I had great fun with it!

  68. Sarah says:

    People have got to stop getting shocked by things that are said purposefully to be shocking. The reason the jokes are funny is because they are tasteless, crude, and disgusting to think about. There’s always been something mildly funny about suggesting that you cross lines that no one would ever realistically cross. If you can’t distance yourself from SAYING something terrible and DOING something terrible, then it’s a personal problem.

    If you find dead baby jokes offensive, don’t sit there and read 26 of them in a row.

    I was actually more annoyed by the kitten joke. Kitten abuse isn’t funny. :Totally for serious offended:

    • miss riddle says:

      Yeah, I actually went ‘aw, poor kittens’ at the kitten joke. That was the only one that wasn’t funny.

    • Justice says:

      More offended by the kitten joke… let us hope you never have a baby. You’ll strangle it for interrupting your Farmville.

      • OrlyOwl says:

        And you will bring up probably some stranger-danger fearing kids who has no sense in how life really works. Overprotecting is the most harmful thing a parent can do, and if you take the jokes offensive and harmful, it’s likely that you’ll bring up really closeminded kids yourself. It’s okay that you’re living in your shell and have a happy life judging people on the internet, but it’s sad to see the future kids get spoiled. After all if you want to think gross stuff, the new generation for example, isn’t really caught on eating people or anything, like some other serial(or just) killers have in the past.

        Just because you’re not offended by something that easily, and can actually have a laugh at something funny(because you know it’s breaking the limits and something you and no other sane person would never do) doesn’t mean you will strangle your baby.

        Seriously. It’s people joking around. Get your head off your ass and try to live on. If you can’t take a joke it’s not others fault. This is funny now and it always will be to some, you can’t change that, but you might just live and let the others live too eh?

        • tor2ga says:

          “Overprotecting is the most harmful thing a parent can do, and if you take the jokes offensive and harmful, it’s likely that you’ll bring up really closeminded kids yourself.”

          Oh, you scare me! If you think getting offended over dead baby jokes is in any way equated to overprotecting one’s children, you have massive issues! Dead baby jokes are immature shockers. Things that are shocking are not always funny. People need to pull their heads out of their butts and realize this.

          • CastleDefender101 says:

            *Ahem* Excuse me, tor2ga? I hardly think arguing a point that you’re obviously not going to win, nor gain anything out of, is a smart life choice right now. If you see fit to sit around and just wait for people to respond to your comments on something that offends you and you feel you should comment on, then that, my good sir, is YOUR problem. No one else’s.

            Dead baby jokes are amusing to some, and un-amusing to others. This is a fact of life, and obviously, something that this site has seen fit to not take down. Yes, it may be in bad taste, it may be something that does not tickle _your_ fancy, but who are you to tell others what they should or shouldn’t be amused by? Please, try to control that streak in you that says “I’m a righteous prick.” and get back to the real world. Get out of the house for longer than five seconds (in which you run to the store to grab yourself some pop-tarts and a new pair of undies) and maybe you’ll see the world isn’t everything your own little head has made it out to be.

            At the very least, give up now, and save what little dignity you have left. I find these jokes very “meh”, but do you see me trolling everyone and arguing like an immature brat to try and prove a point that isn’t ever GOING to be proven? No. You do not.

            Grow up, sir. Let other’s be.

            • tor2ga says:

              That was very long and thought out. Thank you for shaking some sense back into me! I have no right to voice my opinions in these comment sections OR have fun arguing with any other commenters that I choose to argue with.

              You have made me see the light. I bow to your greatness.

          • Anon says:

            Since you appear to be an expert concerning “having massive issues”, you just have to be right now, don’t you?
            Seriously, get a life.

        • onthesunnyside says:

          Being overprotective of your kids is the worst thing you can do for them??
          That is easily the most foolish statement I have ever seen. Overprotective parents can bring about harm to their children, but it is much less an often the case then negligent parents who let their kids do whatever the eff they want.

          I’m sure you’ll find that the missing persons cases are more often a result of a parent being too indifferent about their children then from a parent being overprotective.

          • Barbara says:

            I was thinking the same thing? Really? Overprotecting my kids is the WORST thing I can do to them? So, parents that physically torture, neglect, and/or molest their kids are doing a better job than me? Really? Wow. I’ve been blind for so long.

            • CastleDefender101 says:

              Oh hush up and go back to your lives already. Stop acting like children and raise your own as you would. OrlyOwl was simply stating that a parent who is so over-protective of their children that they won’t even let them play in the yard for fear of some rare disease living in the goddamn dirt, is the kind of parent who will harm their children in a social manner. How is a child meant to make friends, even at school, when a parent is so over-protective and paranoid that the kid is never allowed to speak to anyone? Overprotective MEANS OVER.PROTECTIVE. Exactly that. Not that the parent is molesting their freakin’ children in an alleyway. Stop going overboard and go make yourself a strong alcoholic drink and CHILL.

              • onthesunnyside says:

                I don’t deny that being overprotective is/can be harmful.

                Orlyowl said “is the most harmful” placing it above neglect, abuse, etc. That’s just an assanine statement.

                • CastleDefender101 says:

                  Not particularly. Simply a misunderstanding as far as I can see it, and I do place it quite high up there. It’s mentally and emotionally horrible to a child to be that overprotected that they can’t live a decent life because they simply lack the skills to do so. I don’t think that’s any less worse than a child being sexually abused and what not. :/

                  But thank you for the reasonable and calm response. :)

      • echolocation says:

        It’s also been proven that when given the ability to harm someone (like negative reinforcement electrocution), a person will do so with little or no remorse when given the instructions. When put in the same situation of electrocuting a puppy or a kitten, people will break down in tears and refuse to complete the task given…Btw, they probably couldn’t commit this study with babies, because they weren’t really harming anyone, they just hired actors who pretended to be shocked when the button was pressed.

  69. Daph. says:

    I lol’d. Hard.

  70. sevendarkdays says:

    Dark humour is dark. U jelly?

  71. No u says:

    I like the twenty-one year olds. But it’s better when there’s a picture of pedobear and he’s like “You know what’s the best thing about 24 year olds? 30 of them. lulz.

  72. irtehyar says:

    I take a moment to point and laff at (and maybe kick) those who are offended and self-righteous because of this.

  73. Marike says:

    I actually realy like this.
    yes, it’s cruel.
    but hey, isn’t dark humor made of cruel things?
    like those jokes abouts 9/11 or those about shooting lawyers
    so don’t be hypocrite…

    • Harmony says:

      As a mother and a devout pagan these jokes are the shinning example of what is wrong with society. That people could watch the news and see the stories of people leaving their newborns in toilets and doing things to children that are unspeakable and admonish those who commit such acts but defend those that make these horrible jokes?? Where is the difference? What is the difference between committing an unspeakable act and joking about it?? Anyone with any true sense of compassion and humanity would not only condemn these attempts at dark humor but also the acts that inspire them. Because even if you like it or not the inspirations for these jokes come from actual events and lives lost.

      • Barbara says:

        I wholeheartedly agree with you. I fail to see the humor in jokes about infanticide and pedophilia.

      • Failblog fail says:

        “What is the difference between committing an unspeakable act and joking about it??”

        You can’t be serious right? Cause I see a HUGE difference actually. But good way to deny people freedom of thought. I laugh at dead baby jokes, therefore I am equal to the people committing crimes against infants. That’s logic for you. Glad to see you are such a balanced individual with her ethics all needly sorted.

        • Harmony says:

          Even though I am not a Christian, I respect Christ for his teachings, even he says in the bible “those that think evil deeds are just as guilty as those that commit them”.

          • Pun-isher says:

            …..where does it say that?

            I think you’re talking about when Christ explains that all men are unclean because we all hold these thoughts, but Christ also tells us that once we accept the Father, we are no longer found guilty. Christ’s message basically says that our gifts on earth will be on Heaven, and that putting your trust in Him will cast you away from judgement (or “being guilty”)

            • Harmony says:

              He also says that in acceptance of him as savior, Christians must turn away from all sin and admonish those who commit sin. Not ok i’m saved and forgiven now I can keep sinning and it’s alright cause I am going to heaven. But now I am saved and must commit myself to Christ and turn away from ALL sin and condemn those who sin. Sorry you can’t have your cake and eat it too. If you accept Christ only to continue to sin and abuse his trust because you want to get to heaven then you were never truly sincere about your commitment to Christianity and are not truly saved.

              • Pun-isher says:

                I understand what you’re saying, but don’t understand where you’re getting it from. As a Christian, I have a right to be a human being who loves my God, but also experiences the world with by experimenting and curiosity.

                The message Christ gives is not to “be perfect” and if you don’t be perfect “you never truly followed me”

                You are to love others as Christ loved you, and to be humble, edifying each other whenever possible. You can still be Christian and be stupid, but don’t define yourself by it. Every man in the bible is incredibly flawed, but they grew in the light as they became older.

                • Harmony says:

                  The true essence of recognizing your faults is being remorseful and trying to change. Christ didn’t want perfection but he did wan’t people to change and be better to themselves and to each other. It is only in recognizing and changing that we can grow spirtually regardless of our religion. I respect Christianity and those who are true Christians. But I don’t respect people who claim to be Christians and good people but they can like this kind of filth. The two just don’t add up. To be a truly spiritual being is to reject the unhumane in all forms and reject it.

                  • Harmony says:

                    edit: that was supposed to read and condemn it.

                    • Pun-isher says:

                      I agree mostly. As Christian you are to serve others and NEVER to judge or condemn another. To me, someone sinning carelessly (ei telling dirty jokes, drinking, sleeping around) is more likely to be a Christian than someone condemning another people. The best thing you can do, is do for others.

                      • Harmony says:

                        See now this is where semantics steps in. As a Pagan I don’t view sleeping around as a sin(as long as she is of age, my husbands involved and it is concsentual.) Drinking wasn’t on my nono list until I developed diabetes. And I love a good dirty joke. I guess the hard thing is what is a sin for one isnt always for another. These jokes are the exception because they involve innocents. Children especially babies can’t defend themselves. So something like this is a universal DO NOT cross line. Too many people are sensitive to the loss of a child and those that aren’t should be.

                        • Pun-isher says:

                          i agree completely. I remember always using the term “retarted” and the “derp-dee-derp” lines until I became engaged to a woman who teaches special needs to pre-k in a title one school. Just one day of working beside her made me quit all that. Nothing will make a man grow up like a good woman ;)

                          I suppose in the end it’s all a matter of perspective, which is innocent as long as you can keep your mind and heart open.

                        • Harmony says:

                          Wow, it is awesome to have a intelligent discussion that has opposing viewpoints. I enjoyed it.

          • echolocation says:

            ZOMG, what Pagan person cites Christ in an argument!? You’re just as bad as the people who ARE Christian that use the Bible to prove who they can and can’t hate (according to G-D). WTF?! Christ also said such gems as “turn the other cheek”, and “judge not lest ye be judged”, etc.

            • Harmony says:

              Most if not all Pagans studied all religions and their leaders. In all religions there are common truths. We believe in religious freedom and the choice to choose your own beliefs. We however don’t believe the degradation of innocents is some thing to turn the other cheek about. I wouldn’t turn the other cheek if I saw someone molesting a child, so why would I turn the other cheek at jokes about the same thing??

              • Harmony says:

                *something

              • echolocation says:

                I would intervene as well if I were presented with it in ACTUALITY. I used to be a pagan until I realized that it’s just fairy tale beliefs, I have studied many different religions as well, I feel they’re all leading in the same direction. However, your point is all surrounding a fictitious situation. I guess that you were opposed to books that present material where this happens? Even if it’s to pose an important moral dilemma? Did you write letters to the authors of those books when you found out? Have you ever read Clan of the Cave Bear?

                • Harmony says:

                  I LOVE Jean M. Auel. Clan of the cave bear was a striking portrayal of Ayla’s strength and fortitude and how no matter how different we seem to be the human species is actually deeply intertwined regardless of culture we share a common thread from our begginings. I still cry like a baby at certain parts. (When Iza dies and she makes the wreath of herbs and flowers) I think the greatest story was actually the one about Durc traveling across the mountain, and how Ayla showed her true character by seeing the positive and choosing to believe that Durc lived. I tried to watch the movie but I couldn’t poorly acted and not a good interpretaion of the book. All books with a decent story line require a moral delima. Most hero/heroines choose the moral high rode and do what’s right. Watchmen is a great movie and I love how it questions the essance of right and wrong. For example is it wrong to let someone believe you did something wrong if clearing your name meant changing things for the worse and not the better? See in most books the hero/heroine chooses to make the best of the situation and do the right thing for others. I just started the Sword of Truth series and am loving it so far.

                  • echolocation says:

                    Try the Kushiel’s Dart series by Jacqueline Carey too. Awesomeness on a stick. I like you better now that you like

                    • echolocation says:

                      *I know you like Jean Auel. But this is my point. Jokes can also present a moral dilemma in a situation where everyone is safe and can laugh/learn from it. It’s not something that turns you into a monster just by hearing/seeing. I like to know how other people think though.

                      • Harmony says:

                        One of my favorite series by Sherylin Kenyon has heros/heroines that deal with those situations. The first dark hunter book was Night Embrace. Her first book was Fantasy Lover. You would like it, hot men, killer fight scenes, and interesting moral dilemas.

                        • echolocation says:

                          I’ve read those lol. I liked her take on mythology, and read them because of it, but I’m not big on the Harlequin romance novel plot. Seriously, Kushiel’s Dart is awesome, the books delve into different religious philosophies, and since you’ve read up on them you’ll recognize the origins immediately. Sorry about your negative life experiences with people who find sick jokes funny. Like you said, not all of us are monsters, just the ones who were monsters to begin with. I have plenty of friends who also feel the way you do, and I respect their right to avoid the things that offend them.

                        • Harmony says:

                          I love how she blends the romance with the action and the mythology. Archeron was one of my favorites. The first half was so hard too read, but she made him such a believable character. I really like how it is so easy to see yourself in the character.

      • Anon says:

        Actually you are what is wrong with society.
        If you honestly can’t see the difference between making a joke about some act of violence and actually committing the same act, you should really go back to grade school. But wait, even those kids know that there is a difference.
        TL;DR: You fail at life.

    • Justice says:

      Hmmm… nope. Your logic doesn’t apply.

      9/11 jokes? I doubt very many people find them tasteful, even today.

      Shooting lawyers? Yes, lawyers are humans. However lawyers are seen as being either evil, nasty, that they turn families inside out in divorce proceedings to get more money, etc. Killing them expresses an internal desire for anyone who’s had a bad experience with a barrister.

      Now, a baby. Most people have an internal instinct to protect a young, helpless person. If we didn’t, we’d never survive as a species. The people who don’t understand that, like women who strangle their babies because they won’t stop crying, or a dad who beats their kid senseless when drunk, are indeed horrible people.

      As are the people who find the baby killing jokes funny, and especially those who don’t seem unnerved there were so many of them.

      Sociopaths are definitely on the rise.

      • Medardus says:

        So people who’ve had bad experiences with babies can’t make jokes about babies? Close up the gaping holes in your logic and try again.

        Also:

        A little black baby is flying around Heaven, trying out his wings and having a grand old time. He sees God in the distance and flies closer, waving and calling “Hey, God!” to which God replies “Hey!”

        The baby flies closer and says to God, “Now that I have these wings and all, does that mean I’m an angel?” And God goes “No, ni**a, ’cause you’re a bat!”

        It is not up to you to decide what is or what is not funny.

        • Pun-isher says:

          So people who’ve had bad experiences with babies can’t make jokes about babies? Close up the gaping holes in your logic and try again

          wait, what the, I don’t even…..WHAT?!

          …racist joke….got it…okay EVERYONE LISTEN UP!!!

          This guy up here ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

          …this Medardus fellow…

          HE’S why dead-baby jokes aren’t funny. HE’S the example. You might be a perfectly smart person who likes a good, clever shock-factor joke….but everyone isn’t like you. There are Medardus trolls out there, and they are scary, dangerous, ignorant people who live in caves.

          • TheDarkSide says:

            Confused again eh? Medardus thwarted Justice’s comment, b/c in her example, she said its okay to joke about killing lawyers because they are known for being evil, and people have had bad experiences with them, etc.. Medardus, was saying what about people who have had bad experiences with babies (i.e. they annoy the crap out of them by crying, etc..). So with reasoning, one could say since we can joke about killing lawyers because of bad experiences people may have had, we can joke about killing babies because of bad experiences people may have had. Its really rather simple.

            The rest of your comment is just an ignorant rant trying to recruit followers to hate on medardus with you. In actuality sir, I would say everyone on this site should worry about your mental health and how you may or may not be controlling it.

            • Pun-isher says:

              you and medardus to the heck..

              THe whole notion that people can have a bad experience with babies that somewhat correlate with lawyers is just…..strange.

              A baby is a completely dependent, innocent creature. Either you guys are complete dolts or I’m being trolled really, really hard.

              • OrlyOwl says:

                Or, then you might just be an idiot. Seriously? Is this all you can say? Talk about cave trolls in here? You can’t win on internet, but at least you could MAYBE retreat and let matters be as they are, because, you are sadly out of any usable arguments. Have been for a while. I call that you are the real Troll in here good sir Pun-isher. No one can really argue that long without any valid points otherwise.

            • tor2ga says:

              No, Justice was just pointing out how people do not like lawyers and was showing how the natural instinct was not to protect lawyers like most people protect their babies. Not one time did Justice justify the lawyer killing jokes.

              The dead baby jokes come down to one’s inner-most cowardice. Pick on the small and defenseless, find it funny, call it dark humor. There’s just something immature about that logic. That’s all.

              • CastleDefender101 says:

                We meet again, my argumentative friend. :)

                By all means, let us shoot a lawyer. The man/woman is only doing his/her job. They may have a family, a child, a loving husband/wife. Anyone care about that? Not all lawyers are the slime balls people make them out to be, yet you say people are allowed to pick on them? But not babies? Huh.

                Jokes. Are. Jokes. Exactly as the word is written in the dictionary. Everyone makes different ones, and there are many forms of humor.

                Many people don’t like babies, and why would they? The things scream, cry, throw things, cost money and are a painful experience for any woman. Yet they are presumed cute and wonderful and happy. Why? Because they are small and defenceless? Natural instinct, in case you do not know and have not read any books, is the need to protect those that are in danger. Be it small and defenceless, or some guy going to get stabbed in the street.

                Human NATURE is to protect, and it’s not just babies. Besides, I hardly see how it’s meaningful to you to continue arguing so strongly about something that means very little. It was, is, and still remains, A JOKE. One that YOU do not find amusing, and therefore, it is BAD. Keep your negative opinions to yourself and perhaps go and listen to “Live And Let Die” by Paul McCartney. The man had a great point that I think you should listen to yourself.

                • Justice says:

                  Wrong on many counts. Humans will let others die when it suits them best. Look up any case when a stranger on the street is getting beaten or stabbed to death, and people look on. Or worse, start cheering and rooting for the attackers.

                  I brought up natural instinct in protecting young children, or did you miss that?

                  • Alex says:

                    I don’t think tha’ts healthy behaviour. People who would do that are seriously messed up in the head. Just like anyone who would actually follow through with any of these jokes.

                  • TheDarkSide says:

                    I don’t think he missed it. Because human nature is to protect any living thing, as long as their is no immidiate threat to your own life. i.e. people swerve and sometimes crash their vehicles to avoid hitting racoons, squirrels, etc. You see a person with a gun about to kil the same squirrell, and do nothing. Now apply this to humans, we see a lady fall on the ice, we go to help, person on the road, we swerve to miss them, toddler getting close to an edge of a long fall, we stop them. You see a man being robbed at gun point, don’t help, hostage taker puts a gun to a baby, don’t help. The only exception in this is when its a babies mother, because she will not think logically when her baby is in danger. But to everyone else who isn’t military or combat trained, this usually applies.

                    • Pun-isher says:

                      people get into accidents from swerving because immediate consequences are not justifyably presented at the point of reaction.

                      “the only exception” You must have noone in your family in the Military, nor witness true altruism through the person who sacrifices his lavish luxuries to give to those in other countries.

                      TheDarkSide – I moderately respect your enthusiasm to cast opinion, but you really need to open your mind a bit before jumping to so many conclusions and insinuations.

                      • TheDarkSide says:

                        right, that’s my point, we have the instinct to protect living things until our lives are in jeopardy.

                        C’mon, read my last sentence, i said everyone who isn’t military or combat trained, sense these people are trained to handle such life threatening situations where the majority of us are not.

                        Where am I jumping to conclusions? I simply stated an opinion to counter Justice’s opinion, you know, how debates tend to proceed? And presenting these opinions to one another is in fact opening our minds to different conclusions and theories.

                        Pun-isher, I respect that you have an opinion of your own in this matter, however you didn’t present these opinions well throughout the feed, and is why so many were quick to oppose your comments

            • Justice says:

              Babies don’t seek to harm people moron. That’s why the baby jokes fall flat, and lawyer jokes are fair game. Weasel out of that one.

              • Alex says:

                Lawyers don’t seek to harm people, “moron”. They are doing their job.

                Doing their job so they can go home and pay their bills and feed their own baby they have at home.

                Yes, let’s kill the lawyer, who cares about the lawyers baby!

                BTW, lawyers are people too. Your logic is horrible. You sound like a terrible person.

              • TheDarkSide says:

                yet babies probably cause just as much stress as a court proceding, and everyone knows stress is harmful. Just because the result wasn’t intentional, doesn’t mean it wasn’t harmful. Hence why baby jokes are fair game.

                I think I weaseled out of that one pretty well a thank you.

                • Harmony says:

                  Wow, a court proceeding is a temporary situation. Having a child is a lifetime commitment to another human being and means enduring the stress because you made a choice to have a child. If someone can’t handle the stress of a court proceeding I hardly think they are equipped to be a parent.

                  • TheDarkSide says:

                    Very true. So we could even say a baby is more stressful then a court proceeding. Therefore, they cause more harm then lawyers, so wouldn’t it be more justifiable to joke about dead babies then killing lawyers in that sense?

                    The choice people make to have or not have a child, and if the ones that decide to are capable of raising said child, is a whole other debate topic.

                    • Harmony says:

                      Having a child is stressful but the joy and love far outweighs the stress. A healthy parent child relationship is a benefit to both parent and child. In most if not all court custody cases there is a clear winner and loser. In a healthy parent child relationship there are only winners. Children are the light and heart of the human race. I would rather put up with the stress of raising a child and the rewards of being a mother any day. Children are worth the stress.

                      • TheDarkSide says:

                        Yes alot of parents feel the same way as you, but just because you have a haelthy relationship with your children, doesn’t mean every parent does, a lot of parents, cannot handle the stress.

                        But again, this is a different topic then the one of dead baby jokes being funny

                        • Harmony says:

                          Then those parents should find someone who can care for their child. As a parent that is what we do self sacrifice in the best interest of our child. As a parent I could not do these things to any child. When you see this kind of “dark humor”, all that you can think is “what if that was my child?”

                        • echolocation says:

                          @Harmony: You are being a martyr “on behalf of” your children. Basically what you’re doing is preaching a moral standard that most people don’t even WANT to be a part of because life is about having fun with the world. As a parent, I only concern myself with the situations of REAL children. Theoretical children can be laughed at all day long because they don’t exist, except maybe in YOUR head. Why would you go around attributing all this “possible” negativity to your child after saying that the energy of words affects them?! You’re saying that you think of your children every time a black joke is told? Then you’re likening them to that situation, and THAT is REALLY SICK. Parents like you disturb me more than anything, when you become nothing other than a parent you become removed from reality and have no place teaching anyone how to live in this world.

                        • TheDarkSide says:

                          @ Harmony

                          Yes good parents do that. Of course not, I think I’m fairly safe in saying I don’t think anyone on this site could do any of those things to babies.

                          What you are doing is relating a made up joke, into reality. This is not healthy. It seems you are saying that all parents think that way when in reality, that is just not true. I think when you see dark humor and things that make you fear for your children’s safety, you should take a breath, and remember that it is fiction, not reality. Also, by doing this, it will save you a lot of angst and possible health risks when your children are teenagers and young adolescents and don’t listen to you.

                        • Harmony says:

                          I can see something that is based on acts that happen to children to everyday. I am a good parent because I choose not to blur that line.

                        • TheDarkSide says:

                          @ Harmony

                          hmm, touché. I still don’t agree, but you make a point

                        • Harmony says:

                          Echoside,

                          Parents are the ultimate teachers. So, you saying me being nothing more than a parent makes me unqualified to teach anyone anything is retroactive is it not. I am not just a parent, I am a Mother, Wife, Friend, Sister, Daughter, and Pagan. Being a Mother is my most important role in life and I base all of my decisions based on what I would want my children to learn and appreciate.

                        • echolocation says:

                          Yet you remain a judgmental example for your children, and are the reason that persecution remains in the world. You can be an example for your kids, but the one that you’re throwing out there (just by your judgments of me) is one of intolerance and hate toward anyone not like yourself. You don’t seem to have to ability to love your kids AND have a sense of humour. I pity you.

                        • carlton says:

                          all three of you just made me dumber for reading all that….especially TheDarkSide.

                          You’re a moron, dude.

                        • Harmony says:

                          Hey Carlton………. Dance for me.

                        • TheDarkSide says:

                          @ carlton

                          and yet another half baked insult from the clear genius in the room.

                        • Harmony says:

                          It wasn’t a insult it was a humorous reference to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire. The Carlton was hilarious.

                        • TheDarkSide says:

                          O no, my last comment wasn’t directed at you Harmony. FP reference was spot on

                        • Harmony says:

                          Thank you dark side, See Echolocation I do have a sense of humor. Mine is just more geared tword the lighter side of things. See this joke would have been acceptable just about anywhere because the Fresh Prince was an iconic series. Most people would recognize and appreciate the reference.

                        • echolocation says:

                          Harmony, my sense of humour is geared typically toward light humour, but I didn’t like you saying that everyone who DOES enjoy it is a hideous monster. Plus you called me a sick B for bringing levity to the darkest time in my life, which isn’t your place to judge. Most people who laugh at these jokes are normal and intelligent people who just laugh without going all the way and taking action. When the world is hideous sometimes is good to laugh at the extremes of that. People do these things but dwelling on it, and taking offense every time someone makes a joke isn’t productive for anyone. Plus most people (myself included) don’t just spend all their time looking for this kind of humour because it resonates with their entire lifestyle….But they won’t clamp down and refuse to be amused, and then go on a spiral of agony because it could have happened to some real child somewhere. Most people don’t even think of children in the process of a joke like that, they just say : “Ha! That’s sick” and move on. You’re making it out to be a lot more than it is for most people. And who doesn’t like Fresh Prince?

                  • miss riddle says:

                    You don’t have to HAVE a child to be annoyed by a child.

                    The other day I was in an expensive restaurant. A mombie and her babby were a few tables down. The baby started bawling and screaming. She did NOTHING about it. Now, I spent a lot of money on my food, and that’s the last thing I want to hear when I’m in a nice restaurant.

                    That’s not the worst of it though. This disgusting women proceeded to change the baby’s diaper on the DINNER TABLE.

                    Now, should I probably be annoyed with the mother rather than the baby? Maybe, but I was pretty damn annoyed by the baby by the time the situation was over.

                    Plus, babies and children are selfish creatures. They are unable to care about anyone’s needs other than their own. At least a lawyer can care about a client (whether he does or not is another story, but the ABILITY is there).

                    • Harmony says:

                      That is completely the mother’s fault. I would have said something or had the manager say something. There are changing tables in the restroom for a reason dammit. If not a thick blanket on the restroom floor works just as well (handicapped stall is best). If the baby was that bad she should have gotten a to go plate and left. There is a thing called common courtesy. Babies don’t know any better, they are completely dependent on us for survival. Lawyers as a rule care about the money, if you threw them in the middle of the desert they could take care of themselves.

                      • miss riddle says:

                        Yes, it was the mother’s fault. It didn’t stop me from being annoyed with the baby.

                        And no, lawyers, as a rule, don’t just care about money. That’s something you just pulled out of your butt. That’s a stereotype. There are plenty of lawyers that care about their client. I mean, that’s like me saying, babies, as a rule, care about no one other than themselves. I mean, it’s true, isn’t it? A baby isn’t going to save you if you need help. He’ll just sit there and cry about it. Now, that’s a ridiculous thing to say considering there are other aspects to a baby’s lack of ability to help than simply his feelings about the situation. The same goes for lawyers. There are so many other aspects than money for a lawyer, and to presume that all lawyers are JUST out to get money is to ignore them. You’re trying to make everything 1D and that’s just not how people work.

                        To be honest, it’s the helplessness of a baby that annoys me. I don’t like it when something cannot take care of itself at all. It’s the fact that they are so needy that drives me up the wall.

                        • Harmony says:

                          You don’t have a very strong maternal instinct I take it. Most people would see that helplessness as enduring innocence and want to protect and nurture it. It is that instinct that is the guarentee that our species will survive and thrive. A baby isn’t supposed to save you, you are supposed to nurture and protect it. Those statements alone show a level of self-absorbed idealogy that is frankly sad and pathetic. Where would you be if your parents had this kind of attitude? Children are not there to serve us, We are here to mold them and teach them. Without our children we have no future.

          • Medardus says:

            Actually, I’m a smart, caring, generally well-mannered guy with a 4 bedroom cave (with a pool!) and a newborn. Just, you know, FYI.

  74. Jordan says:

    What’s eighteen inches long and makes a woman scream?

    Crib death.

    problem?

  75. Debi says:

    When the book of Truly Tasteless Jokes came out and had dead baby jokes in it….I laughed. Ten years later when I gave birth to a baby that only lived 45 minutes, it wasn’t quite so funny. Leaving the hospital with empty arms was really really not funny. Dark humor seems to be funny to the very young and/or immature. Those people that have not had REALITY slap them upside the face.

    • Barbara says:

      Exactly. And I’m very sorry for your loss.

    • Godsfolly says:

      I remember telling dead baby jokes while on a family road trip. I was ignorant to the fact that my aunt who had joined us had lost several babies either stillborn or died very early. My mother chewed me out later.

      But, along tasteless jokes I still love the grosser than gross jokes better than dead babies, so feel free to tell some of those.

    • Andy says:

      Wow, way to tell ppl how to live Harmony. Humour helped Echo get through her situation and it is not your place to tell her that’s wrong. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her daughter ffs, she just needed a laugh to lighten the load a bit.

    • Alex says:

      Exactly. When I was a sick child, all I wanted from my parents was for them to be totally depressed and guilt-ridden about my situation. I wanted them to pity me, only pity, I didn’t want happiness or humor whatsoever. I wanted to wallow in the dark seriousness of it all. I wanted them to mope around and never crack a joke. I wanted the tension to be so thick you could cut it like butter. My life sucked so much that I wanted to take everyone down with me. I hate my family!

      Yeah!

      Wait, no…

    • Failblog fail says:

      I would love to be your child Harmony. I mean, me being sick and then my mother constantly crying and screaming about how I was going to perish soon. That would’ve livened the situation right up!

      I hope her daughter one day reads this and see how her mother got the strength to deal with the situation, to be there for her throughout, instead of, like you would do apparently, wallow in the pain.

      • Harmony says:

        I didn’t wallow in the pain when my daughter was in the NICU but neither did I make fun of her and joke about her to make the situation feel better for myself. I prayed to the Gods and Goddesses for my strength and found the inner courage to deal with the situation without making jokes at my childs expense. If you have to make fun of someone small and helpless to make yourself feel better there is a name for that it’s called bullying, and when a parent does it to their child then it is sick and wrong. I got through my situation a lot stronger than I was before and I didn’t have to say anything about my child but I loved them and I wanted them better. When I finally got to hold my daughter I wasn’t making comments about the tubes in her body but about the color of her hair or her beautiful eyelashes. I viewed my child as a person not as a thing and I loved her completely. I asked the Gods and Goddeses daily to keep her safe and protect her. And when I finally got to take her home it was the best day of my life. I am a mother tried and true. I never felt the urge once to make fun of her. I didn’t have the most supportive family at all, most of them chose not to see her or hold her because they were afraid of getting attached. I wasn’t, if she would have died I wanted her to die surrounded by my love. That is not wallowing that is being a MOM.

        • Failblog fail says:

          I’m sure the two week old child felt very insulted. Yeah, it was directly aimed at her. Cause the child was obviously Stephen Hawking in disguise and had developed the capacity to understand what her mom was saying while unconscious and unable to do little more than blow spit bubbles.

          God. Babies are damn talented these days.

          • echolocation says:

            My response is still in moderation for some reason….but to put it bluntly your judgement is ridiculous and makes it sound as though I was smothering her with a pillow. I’ve seen that study too, I was just pointing out that I made tasteless jokes as a way of coping with the pain, I didn’t tell you that I also told her I loved her ALL THE TIME or that everything was done with affectionate humour. I never called her UGLY or any other negative words, I’m not sure how “Turkey” is turned into a bad word, when I only disclosed the underlying joke here, not to her. I didn’t bully her, I took care of her, and made light of the darkest situation I’ve ever been put in. I was 19 at the time, and had no help to speak of. Get over yourself, you’re opinion is that teasingly calling your child names (even non-negative ones referring to what is going on in their life) is the equivalent of beating them and abandoning them without affection. Clearly you were not in the same position I was in if all you did was pray. I prayed, I pumped breast milk to ensure that she had the protection of my immune system, I dedicated all of my time to her. In fact, your calling me “sick” is probably more cruel than anything I EVER said about my daughter in a tongue-in-cheek manner. I wouldn’t make fun of someone in that situation, but like I said in the comment awaiting moderation, I would recommend that they learn how to get past it with humour.

            • Failblog fail says:

              Don’t worry Echolocation. Let this person pray to her Gods and Goddesses that all lawyers and politicians be slaughtered mercilessly for only then will justice truly be done. The rest of us will just live in the Land of the Sane right here, and allow our children to grow up to be balanced adults who can see the light of life with the dark, and not be ruthlessly judgemental.

              I thought her comment to you was the lowest of the low. It can’t be nice to hear something like that, even if it is from some anonymous (slightly messed up if you ask me) internet person. However, I think you’re safe here, you sound wonderful. I also hope you’re a lawyer. That would kill Harmony.

              • echolocation says:

                No such luck :P Thank you, I’m more peeved that I had to comment twice because my non-swearing response is still under moderation. I did get a bit upset last night, before reflecting further and realizing that my daughter is very happy and full of laughter…and miraculously not on meds; I did something right.

                • Harmony says:

                  Thank Goddess she must have some really strong protective spirits surronding her.

                • Andy says:

                  Good on you Echo. My family is a lot like yours, we get through the tough times with humour and you know what? We all feel a lot better after a laughing jag than a crying jag.

                  Don’t let the negative ones get to you.

                  • Harmony says:

                    It’s one thing to get through tough times with humor, like Steel Magnolias, and an entirely different thing to spew garbage like this. You wouldn’t go into a funeral home and make jokes about necrophilia, so why eould you joke about dead babies.

                    Here’s a clean joke that is cute and funny.

                    A man asks his son who they talk about in church, the little boy says Andy, the father asks who’s Andy? The little boy goes you know, An he walks with me, An he talks with………..

    • Harmony says:

      <3 When my daughter was in the NICU it was the worst thing to leave without a baby. Eventually I got to take her home, and in that I was extremely lucky. I am so sorry.

    • echolocation says:

      Wow, you’re also a Grammar Nazi. You might want to learn how to get past the way it’s presented, and go to the heart of the situation…the persons opinion. Tanks for teh lulz <3 You remind me of this drug-addict I know with three kids. She's all about judging other people for their mistakes while she psychotically terrorizes her family.

      • Harmony says:

        And exactly what does she have to do with me?? I don’t do drugs and live my life above reproach. I am the best parent I can possibly be and have no regrets. I learn from my mistakes and accept my Karma as I recieve it. I hate when people are in an argument and don’t use care with their communication. I was taught that it showed shades of ignorance and reflected poorly on your thought process.

  76. Courtney says:

    These are horrid and not even funny. Fleming is clearly a hideous monster who should be executed. And from a glance at the comments, most of you should be too.

    • Medardus says:

      Speaking of hideous monsters… you might want to look in a mirror.

      You just called for the summary execution of several people for thoughtcrime.

  77. Mr Derpington says:

    OMG, I had to take two breathers whilst reading these otherwise I think I would’ve died from laughing XD

    It seems I like my humour the way I like my coffee – Dark and with dead babies in.

    (Seriously though anyone who is offended by these just move on and stop trying to ruin everyone else’s day. I’m extremely protective towards children and can’t wait to have my own but it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be allowed to enjoy my favorite brand of humour. I hate slapstick comedy with a passion but if I find a video of it I just click off-It’s actually that simple.)

    • Krischan says:

      There is a line between “dark humour” and “obscene humour”. The one is an art of cynicism, the other only provocative and offensive.

      I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be allowed to like or practice obscene humour, go and have fun. But please look up the difference, learn it and don’t go spreading that the self-elevating idea of vulgar jokes equaling “dark humour”.

      That said, these baby jokes are clearly obscene humour. Still not convinced? Yeah, obviously I’m wrong; because the base people define the basic standards …

  78. HERNGG says:

    The cries of outrage just make this funnier.

  79. Stinky says:

    Know what’s really bad?
    I wasn’t upset until I read that awful kitteh-joke :(

  80. brittney says:

    Not funny at all. I don’t understand why people would think anything involving a dead baby is funny.
    Shame on you, failbook.

  81. Fruit says:

    This is unnaturally amusing.

  82. Katie says:

    I’m not the hugest fan of babies, but dear LORD. Someone get this guy to the FBI quick! Future (if not current) serial killer on the loose.

  83. Santa says:

    That is just retarded and sick! How could someone ever talk like that, that dude is disturbed

  84. F plus says:

    Gary fleming huh

  85. Xebrus says:

    Ah, one of the great polarizing posts to be found on Cheezburger. Either you love it and make fun of the people who hate it, or you hate it and demonize the people who love it.

    Arguing on the Internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. Even if you win you’re still retarded.

    • Haha ^ this comment x1,000,000

      Also to those who are offended by this tiny corner of the internet, please check out lemonparty or 2 girls, 1 cup for something truly offensive ;)

      Rule 34 is waaaay worse than a few tasteless jokes

      • Harmony says:

        Two girls one cup was gross until one realized that it was chocolate pudding and oatmeal mixed together and they had switched the cups. Then it was just funnier to watch the reaction videos. Rule 34 has some funny stuff and some just plain retarded. Though the majority of the visuals involve completely fictional characters most based on creatures that don’t exist. So now what was your argument?

        • echolocation says:

          Are you saying that the dead baby jokes feature real-life babies as opposed to fictional characters being put in fictional situations?! They are probably the equivalent of Rule 34 (which also features dead babies btw…and REAL LIFE people). Two girls one cup is gross to people because it posits a theoretical situation, if what you are saying is true. I don’t see a lot of videos showing you the activities of these jokes….the only one that comes to mind would be August Underground Mordum

          • Harmony says:

            I wouldn’t know about Rule 34 posting dead baby stuff, because I don’t look for that type of humor. I look at stuff like poke’mon, and transformers, stuff that is harmless and humorous and doesn’t involve babies. 2 girls one cup involved a conscentual act by adults.

            • echolocation says:

              What you don’t know would fit into the Eurasian continent. My point was that while the visual representation is present in Rule 34 and 2 girls 1 cup, it isn’t in dead baby jokes. Dead baby jokes are also representing fictional things happing to fictional dead (or soon to be; lulz) babies that don’t exist, and aren’t even being SHOWN in a fictional setting. They’re being talked about.

              • Harmony says:

                If the things I wanted to know where both morbid and for the most part socially unacceptable than your statement is quite true. I don’t actively seek out information that would make me look like a sad, miserable, immature misfit that is incapable of existing in society. I prefer to research information that is enlightening and requires intelligent thought to understand and appreciate. I wouldn’t talk about killing a child real or fictional.

                • echolocation says:

                  Your religion is “socially unacceptable” yet here you are…contradicting yourself again. Well, the point of this is that you’re likening joking to views on reality, and judging people based on what they find funny. The point of making someone laugh, whether it’s about something vulgar or about something fluffy and light, is to bring humour into their world and distract them from the angst of being alive. You just keep over-dramatizing the situation into something of life or death. You are NOT superior to anyone in spite of your beliefs otherwise. And it’s funny that you’re saying what people research makes them look sad to the real world. You are a sad person, you’re miserable, you don’t understand humour and you don’t even seem to want to try. It would be nice if you’d actually, idk, make the world a better place by reserving judgement on people and their coping mechanisms, and start at the very least proving that other forms of humour are better. But, no, you can’t laugh, you can’t be okay with other people laughing. You have to suppress people for finding anything funny that you disapprove of. And, in addition, you make it sound like because someone might know about things, that means that they’re looking them up. I don’t look up anything to do with dead babies, or even violence. I’m hoping to go into medicine because I…get this….LOVE helping people. I LOVE working with people and helping them get well….I used to be a massage therapist, now I’m a nurse’s aide….And I’m a damn sight better at it than a lot of people I know in the field, who may spend all their times sitting on their high horse about how great of a person they are, but then they just fail at going the distance.

                  • Harmony says:

                    Wow, my mom is an OT and SDA, and my sister is a Lead Nurse at a veterans hospital, but I would never hear these jokes come out of their mouths. I knew that I could never deal with the things they see on a daily basis(patient abuse ect.) and not commit a felony. But neither of them use “Dark Humor” to lift their patients spirits. In fact in most proffessional environments telling these jokes could result in the loss of you job and put you on a company’s DNH list. Somethings no matter how much you might like them should never be socially acceptable and this is one of those things. I am far from a sad, miserable person and I love humor but I choose to appreciate humor that does not make fun of helpless innocents. As far as making the world a better place I do just that by standing up for my values and beliefs and promoting the innocent. My religion is only socially unacceptable to those who know nothing about it and refuse to learn.

                    • echolocation says:

                      lulz, I never said you should tell your patients dark jokes. My mom is a pharmacist, my aunt a dietician, my grandmother a Professor of Biology, my grandfather a pharmacist…and so on w/ the OTs, Nurses, directors of Nursing etc. lalala. But the whole argument was that the ones that I know will laugh at some sick stuff, they will tell jokes with their colleagues, etc. And yet, they’re all dedicating their lives to improving the lives of others…ie They AREN’T BAD PEOPLE FOR FINDING THIS FUNNY.

  86. RooBoo says:

    Poor taste, failbook. Poor taste.

  87. TheFoot says:

    Hmm made it half way before my taste meter ran dry…

  88. Nina says:

    This is repulsive and offensive. To suggest that those posts were funny is in INCREDIBLY poor taste.

  89. Comment tater says:

    This is being reported. Cheezburger network needs to pull this post down immediately.

  90. kali says:

    This is disgusting. Have some respect for life, it is truly pathetic that this joke made it on the the site. You should be ashamed of yourself.

  91. P says:

    this is just wrong.

  92. That Kid says:

    Tasteless.
    Some people just need to the heck.

  93. No u says:

    I have the best solution. It’s such an obvious solution!!! If you dislike this picture, don’t find it funny, don’t like dead by jokes, don’t like dark humor, etc. IGNORE IT. Don’t ruin it for people that like it, just because you don’t. Don’t shove your opinions and beliefs down other peoples throats, and try and force them to stop liking things you don’t like. That is really annoying, I bet any atheist here would agree with me that religious people who try to shove their religion down their throat is annoying. Do you want to be the opinion version of that?

    • Zenki says:

      Just like some atheists will always try and convince any religious person that there is no God, that’s why people can’t argue over religion, it’s not an argument, it’s two different beliefs. I don’t agree with people who shove religion down another’s throat, but atheists who won’t even respect any religious person, unlike some religious people that tolerate atheist people and don’t try to convert them, are just as annoying. It’s a double standard you should acknowledge.

      People who don’t like this, have just as much of a right to post a comment saying something like, ‘This went too far’, without it telling everyone else that they shouldn’t think it’s funny.

  94. Canaduck says:

    FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

  95. Justice says:

    Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised that an entire network hounded by extremely sarcastic malcontents would be upset you’d suggest there’s something wrong with their brand of humor. They may think nothing is wrong with it, but it’s seriously just a few shades away from a sociopath.

    “So all of us were just very somber; she’s in tears,” Troy says. “And Jared (Loughner) starts laughing, like a lot, and we all just kind of look at him strangely and then he starts bursting out about tying a bomb to the fetus and making a baby-bomb.” -NPR.com

    • Cassie says:

      Touche, Justice. I approve of you.

    • Alex says:

      Sorry sweetheart, but I take it you’ve never known an actual sociopath.

      • Harmony says:

        I have, he is currently in jail for the death of his two kids and robbing a bank. Oh yeah, the kids he killed my niece and nephew.

        The difference between those of us who condemn these jokes and those who defend and like them, those who condemn them have actually dealth with the death of a child. It’s all fun and games until reality rips out your heart.

      • Justice says:

        Known and handled are two different things, at my job I’ve had to deal with a lot of people with obvious disconnects with reality and a total lack of empathy for any human being.

    • Anon says:

      Yeah, and since you are most likely a licensed psychologist you are the one authority to judge who is a socciopath or close to it and who is not.

  96. reallyreallynicelol says:

    I got through a couple and didn’t laugh…. actually felt kind of sick by it. Maybe I’m too visual.. but it produced really unwanted images.
    I think its really unfair though to suggest I need to ‘get a stick out of my ass’ or to lump me in with some certain political group because I don’t find it funny. I always see this arguement, one side wants to have something taken down, the other side want it to stay up and they fight back saying how dare you judge me, I’m not evil/cruel/whatever just because I like this – you need to stop being such a bleeding heart liberal stick up the ass mofo and gtfo. So, it’s not okay for them to suggest their opinion or judge, but those fighting back always can?

    Unbalanced arguement.

    I dunno… I didn’t find them witty… or surprising… I need surprise in my humor.

  97. disgusted says:

    that is absolutely disgusting and wrong. how can someone say things like that?
    i am completely repulsed.

  98. Doctor Bob says:

    I laughed so hard I almost cried.

  99. Maz says:

    Apologies, “Fleming” just one “m”.

  100. Sarah says:

    “More offended by the kitten joke… let us hope you never have a baby. You’ll strangle it for interrupting your Farmville.”

    I thought for sure adding the :Super totally serious offended: tags should make it obvious that I wasn’t actually serious.

    You don’t need to find the jokes funny. No two people have the exact same sense of humor. But it’s not a moral issue. What you find funny isn’t a moral issue. If someone were actually suggesting that there was humor in nailing a real baby corpse to a tree, then sure, that’s not ok. But no one is talking about doing these things TO AN ACTUAL BABY. It’s shock value imagery. If you don’t like it, stop reading when you realize it’s going to be a bunch of dead babies in a row.

    I seriously do not understand why so many uptight people read these kinds of pages. Demotivational is chock full of people getting their panties in a wad over every politically incorrect image that springs forth. It doesn’t matter if you don’t think it’s funny. Stop chastising or insulting others because they see the humor that you do not, and stop bringing hell and god in to it to try and make your particular sense of humor seem more justifiable than anyone elses.

    • Justice says:

      So a joke about killing a baby is a joke, but a joke about killing a kitten is… not a joke? Is that what I’m getting here?

      • Anon says:

        Just because someone likes the dead baby jokes while disliking jokes about killing kittens (like myself) does not mean that one is a joke and the other is not.
        Obviously you did not get what she tried to say, since she pleads for people not to insult anyone because of their sense of humour, regardless of what they deem funny.
        The gist of the text:
        “It doesn’t matter if you don’t think it’s funny. Stop chastising or insulting others because they see the humor that you do not, and stop bringing hell and god in to it to try and make your particular sense of humor seem more justifiable than anyone elses.”

  101. cee says:

    Sick bastards you all are….Serious!

  102. Rachel says:

    What’s 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death. :P

  103. Cool Dude says:

    Man the lot of you all are butthurt.

  104. This belongs in the After Dark section. This has the potential to offend a lot of people.

  105. lolfail says:

    censorship fail. i see their names

  106. Andi says:

    MORE dead baby jokes please! Jesus you people who are offended are idiots. These jokes aren’t specifically to you or about you or your babies. Have a goddamned sense of humor!

  107. Andi says:

    That Kid:
    “Tasteless.Some people just need to the heck.”

    bahahahaha WIN.

  108. Timik says:

    The guy is gonna get trolled… and flammed. And hated a lot.

  109. singlemom says:

    This is what passes for humor in today’s society? So that’s what wrong with the world…

    • Today’s society? Please, the tasteless joke can be traced back to Voltaire and probably further.

      I’ll quote Voltaire since a 30 second google search is all the effort I felt like putting into your lame comment, this was said by Voltaire in 1761 to Kammerherr Shuvalov.

      “I see that ‘Joanovis Basilovis’ (some polish guy) is spelled ‘Joanowitsch Wasiliewitsch’. I wish this man more intellect, and fewer consonants”

      It’s kind of an early variant of the following joke;

      Q: What does a Polish man give his wife that’s long and hard?
      A: His last name :)

  110. Sean Williams says:

    As a baby, I was offended by this post.

  111. Happy Valentine's Day! says:

    How many times does a baby go around in a microwave before exploding?

    Oh, I was hoping you would know. I’m always too busy masturbating to count.

  112. Tuschina Ehrensperger says:

    I normally LOVE this website but today you guys went too far posting the “oh baby” post on failbook… If you take the time to read firstly the horrific nature of the actual post and then even worse the user comments that follow… You’l notice that this has given “obvious child abusers” a place to make what they do, into a joke and have people laugh at it… They are being glorified…. its disgusting, please please remove this post.. Trust me I have a sense of humor and can appreciate dark humor but not involving the death and sexual abuse of children…. TOO FAR

  113. echolocation says:

    Everyone’s reactions (including mine) make me laugh. We’re all freaking out over something so simple as words. What’s even funnier, is, if anyone has ever seen Eddie Izzard’s Dressed to Kill he has a run about “putting babies on spikes” which is never once perceived through the course of the show as being disturbing in any way. Because it’s a ridiculous joke. It goes like this: “I thought America was a place with the thought of ‘It CAN be done’. ‘Tell me what is it you want to do with your life?’; ‘I want to…put babies on spikes!’; ‘Go then! Go…It’s the American Dream!’; ‘Hi, my name is Crazy Eddie…hooheehoo….I put babies on spikes…Want a rack of babies? We’ve got babies on racks! They…taste of chicken’…..It’s true…Cannibals say that human flesh tastes of chicken….so babies must taste of chicken…and chickens of humans” All of this done with accompanying hand gestures. Yet somehow it escaped the realm of being offensive to anyone in the room, and there were hundreds of people there who could just have easily been offended by the visualization of babies being put on spikes and sold to others to be eaten, which was all implicit in the show. Yet here we all are freaking out over a list of jokes that could offend or be ignored. This is also a mining ground for anyone in the mood to troll. Lol, all I had to do was put out my real-life situation and views and someone was equally quick to jump me for having a sense of humour.

  114. pinkpiiggy says:

    I find this extremely offensive. What kind of absolute sickos think this is funny? No wonder there’s so much crime….
    Maybe they should actually look at a picture of a mutilated baby; then we’ll see how funny it is.

    • Anon says:

      I think this is funny but never committed any criminal act.
      And I did see multiple gore pictures, some of them involving babies. The pictures are not funny, the jokes, however, are.

      • pinkpiiggy says:

        Why are the pictures not funny if the jokes are? I don’t understand.

        The purpose of words is to create images or concepts in other minds. So if these words create an image in your mind that is humorous to you, why is an actual image not funny?

        • Anon says:

          An image created by a joke is, at least in my case, never as vivid as an actual picture/video.
          That point and the fact that the jokes usually do not describe acts that were committed in this way allow me to see this in a different light.
          Another factor is that these jokes describe really bizarre acts, while the pictures simply show dead people, who died a really bloody way.
          In addition there is nothing tragic about a simple joke, but the death of an actual person is usually a tragic event for friends and family.
          You do not have to think the same way as I do, but there are reasons.

          • Anon says:

            I forgot to add: Thank you for arguing in an impersonal manner. It is quite nice to find someone capable of doing so on here.

            • pianogirl23 says:

              You’re welcome. I think that if a person can’t argue in a coherent, intelligent way, they ought not argue at all. Straw man arguments & ad hominem attacks accomplish nothing.

      • pinkpiiggy says:

        And I didn’t say that everybody who thinks this is funny is a criminal. I meant that this sort of evil (sorry can’t find a gentler word!) desensitizes people. Desensitization to other human beings makes it that much easier to commit a crime.

        • carlton says:

          i can respect that

        • capn awesome-o says:

          False

        • Anon says:

          That is indeed one stand valid to take on the issue, but it is debatable since there are about as many papers supporting this thesis as there are claiming the opposite.
          But even if imagery etc. will work to desensitize people towards such things, I deem these jokes unfit to do so for the reason that they are far less vivid than pictures, videos, games, etc.

          • pinkpiiggy says:

            So, vividness is the scale by which we decide which things are desensitizing?
            I posit that any joke, words, videos, games, etc. that devalue humans are desensitizing.
            After all, n*gger is just a word. It brings little imagery; less than these jokes, surely. Yet it is considered dehumanizing and socially unacceptable.

  115. Anon says:

    Yeah, you pseudo-intellects who claim that this is all just in good fun have demonstrated how moronic you are. You make these jokes for the shock factor, but what you do is you advertise yourself as a psychotic moron who should never be entrusted with any sort of important job (which is why all of you making the baby torture jokes will never have successful careers). You all call yourselves “cynical” and undoubtedly atheist. You all believe you have all of the answers in the world and that most people around you are stupid. What you don’t realize is how absolutely empty your minds are and how you’ve put yourself in a position where you will not learn and grow. You’ve stifled yourselves because you’re consumed with hatred for the world and for people. None of you have seen how bad life can really get, and for those of you who think you have, try spending some time in a homeless shelter. You are all a bunch of sheltered morons.

    • Pun-isher says:

      *troll target aquired*

      Anon says:
      February 15, 2011 at 10:06 am
      I like my women how I like my whisky, 12 years old and kept in a barrel.

      • Anon says:

        Actually that is not the same anon.
        I am the one who made the statment you cited.
        I would be ashamed to write something revealing this level of stupidity and intolerance.

        • Pun-isher says:

          you’re both of equal extremes if you ask me.

          • Anon says:

            Oh thank you. Coming from a person such as you this can only be regarded as a compliment.
            I still refrain from making such horrendously stupid claims that can and will never be verified.
            In addition I deem tolerance to be important (with the acception of tolerating intolerance), so I would never hate on something I dislike like you two as well as others on here are.

  116. cody b says:

    yu guys r sick yu all need help

  117. ... says:

    what the hell is going on….

  118. Iz says:

    Ok, This just wins everything.
    So much win.

  119. Alex says:

    OMG, people. They’re just words. WORDS.

    Anyone who would ever actually do these things is obviously just not right in the head. There is a huge, HUGE difference between said and done.

    Holy cow.

    I don’t even find dead baby, dead animals, woman abuse etc jokes particularly funny but I’m also not offended because they are WORDS.

    • lisa says:

      and words never have any power, that’s why it’s totally okay to call people n*gger

      • Leftofright says:

        Absolutely! What if we substituted “black person” or “gay person” for “baby”. Would it still be funny and completely inoffensive? Many of these same people who think it’s funny to joke about raping or killing a baby would be outraged. If it’s hate speech to make jokes about killing and raping gays and African Americans, why would it be OK to do the same about babies?
        Words do have power.

        • Anon says:

          It would not be funny because some things work only with babies.
          How do you lower a homosexual into a blender by his hair? It just doesn’t work.

      • Ye says:

        I personally don’t care what people call me.

        But OTHER people are offended by that, and i respect the fact that they do not like it so i don’t say it TO THEM.

        However, i shouldn’t be judged by my physical reaction to dark humor.

        The thought of these jokes aren’t funny. The thought of dead babies aren’t funny. That said, my first reaction after reading/hearing a dead baby joke is to laugh out loud, simply because it is so insane that it’s incomprehensible that it would be done.

  120. fastbreak333 says:

    I love how a few “tasteless” jokes just drove everybody in the comments section to complete and utter rage. At the end of the day, you’re only fighting with a random stranger on the internet that will probably not be convinced enough to take your side.

    It’s time to put the keyboard away, gentlemen. Outside is waiting for you all.

  121. Raqubor says:

    I’m saving this post for later reading :P , awesome!

  122. Robert says:

    that man sounds like insanity wolf.

  123. JellyBean says:

    The fact that is has more negative votes than positive on both this page AND the voting page, as well as the fact that someone’s identity was just given out to the interwebs shows just how much of an ass this mod is.
    I know there’s plenty of people who like dead baby jokes, but I am not one of them. I’m in no way over-sensitive to violence… In fact there are only two things I have compassion for: animals and babies since they’re defenseless creatures (for the most part).
    I understand freedom of speech and whatnot, but I do know that this post was voted down and therefore should not have made it to the front page given one person’s preference.

    • Anon says:

      This is not a democracy, it’s an autocratic regime, so yes, it should be put up because of one person’s preference, that is actually what an autocratic regime is about.

  124. Benjamin says:

    This is really disgusting. Whoever posted it should be ashamed of themselves.

  125. Whyteraven says:

    The sad thing is that some people DO some of the obscene things these crappy people joke about.

  126. Kat says:

    They are not even considered “black humour” – just tasteless! How is this even approved to appear on Failbook?

    • wooopss says:

      Why do they keep saying it’s “tasteless”? You honestly come to failbook, memebase, etc to find refined humor???

      Besides, microwaved babies ARE tasty.

  127. conservative says:

    everybody has darkness inside them

    whether you admit it or not is your choice, but don’t go judging people who do, these jokes are funny BECAUSE of how shockingly ridiculously evil they are… it’s funny because that’s obviously something no human would ever do…

    these jokes aren’t funny, but to say it’s morally wrong to find them funny is a bit stupid to be honest

    • Harmony says:

      What makes these unfunny is that people do these things to children or have you been living in a cave somewhere. Do me a favor and google , man throws children off bridge, children found in freezer, mom leaves newborn in toilet, baby found in garbage. Now tell me that no human would ever do these things? Yes, we all have darkness inside us but we have the choice to use that darkness on those that are innocent or those that really deserve it, like politicians and lawyers.

      • Failblog fail says:

        Earlier you state that thinking something according to the Bible is the same as doing it, and that you think that is true. (which is also false, cause you are talking about secret sin which would actually mean I think about killing babies myself, THAT would be secret sin).

        Yet you state that lawyers and politicians are deserving of these things. So that’s not wrong then? You advocating that one can do whatever they wish to lawyers and politicians because they are all wrong obviously. Yeah, forget those lawyers that work for Oxfam, or Unicef (children anyone?). ALL MUST DIE. But that’s not secret sin, uhuh, secret sin only works with babies.

        Before you throw the Bible in my face, I suggest you read it.

        • Harmony says:

          I have read it, sin is sin. Those lawyers that work for Oxam and Unicef have probably screwed someone over for the almighty dollar more than once. Defense laywers who defend child molesters that have the money. Show me a successful politician that isn’t selfishly motivated and hasn’t taken political kickbacks then I’ll concede but since we know that most if not all politcians have had to play dirty to get where they are. Look at the smear campaigns before elections. Children are innocents and only deserve compassion and love. I could never hurt a child and if I saw someone hurting a child I could kill that person without a second thought because they deserve it but children don’t.

  128. Michelle says:

    This is not funny. It’s tasteless. It’s all fun & games until someone actually has to bury a baby. If you have ever had to live through doing that, you would understand why this crap isn’t funny.

    • Harmony says:

      Such true words.

    • miss riddle says:

      My mother had four miscarriages. She jokes about them. She was in no way a bad mother.

      Humor helps many people deal with bad situations. It’s a pretty damn normal thing to do. I mean, haven’t you ever looked back on a situation where, say, a friend was injured in a humorous way and giggled a bit about it? Haven’t you ever said ‘this will be funny after the fact’?

      • Pun-isher says:

        miscarriages, while very difficult, do not measure up to losing a child. Your mother, much like my own, had a child after the miscarriages to where she could find purpose from them. If your mother had nothing but miscarriages and no children i doubt she’d be joking about them.

        • echolocation says:

          I have a good friend who has ONLY had miscarriages, and it distresses her a great deal. Yet, she makes jokes to bring levity to her pain, she’s never going to conceive and carry a child to term, but she can still laugh. She’s also a lesbian (too long a story to tell), and makes some of the funniest gay jokes I’ve ever heard…In addition, her partner is a black woman who is afraid of cotton…..we tease her about it. The difference behind all of this, is your INTENTION.

          • reallyreallynicelol says:

            you’re one of those annoying ‘one up’ them kind of people. Troll.

            • echolocation says:

              True, I guess in these matters I did dissolve into one of them “one up” kind of people. I don’t normally. But here we are….*whistles*

          • Harmony says:

            My sister lost her left ovary and right egg this year, and when I got pregnant I didn’t want to hurt her feelings but she turned out to be my biggest supporter. I love how instead of my situation making her feel self-pity and anger she chose to share my joy. I told her I’d have her baby one day.

        • miss riddle says:

          Yeah, actually, having a miscarriage DOES add up to losing a baby (we are talking about babies, here, not children, remember? These are not dead toddler jokes). You can’t rate that type of pain on a scale from one to ten and pretend that one is worse for EVERYONE than the other. In fact, my mother often said that she wished they had died AFTER birth, because she always felt like, this way, it was HER fault that her body rejected the baby. If they died after birth, she wouldn’t feel the need to blame herself as much, as HER body didn’t do the deed, so to say.

          My mother actually joked about the miscarriages while she was in between miscarriages. You know, when she didn’t have a child. So, yeah, she did. It helped her deal with the situation. And btw, she didn’t even ever ‘have’ a child–I’m adopted.

          Some people use humor to deal, and that’s why it’s ridiculous to claim that this type of humor hurts the people who probably started the humor in the first place. I make gay jokes about myself because it helps me deal with it. -shrug- I have a serious injury, a ‘disability’ (although I hate to say it) and I joke about that too.

          • Harmony says:

            Miscarriages are the body’s way of saying ok there is something wrong here chromosonal abnormality, sever hormonal imbalance, ect. and ridding itself of a pregnancy that is not viable. Is it sad, yes, is it horrible, absolutely but it has a purpose. I have had 7 miscarriages over 4 years, 3 succesful pregnancies. I still couldn’f find these jokes funny. I know why I had my miscarriages. I don’t know why people think jokes about killing babies is funny.

  129. kthx says:

    And now I’m coming after you. Every last one of you. It’ll be funny!

  130. Harmony says:

    I find it funny that the people who are trying to defend this are calling this dark humor. Obviously they have never seen the Evil Dead series. Now, that is what I call dark humor. Look up Dark Comedies on google. You don’t have to use dead babies to get a laugh if you have a brain and some maturity.

  131. KC says:

    Those baby jokwes are a disgust and should be taken down ASAP!!!! Sad thing is some people acutally do that kind of stuff, what is wrong with you people! You are sick in your head! I’ve always like this website, until now!!

  132. Galen75 says:

    Epic Troll is fat and happy, he’ll never be hungry again, good job!;)

  133. Céline says:

    no thanks, he doesn’t deserve to have friends !

  134. Cheese says:

    Fail on the name blank guys.

    • I'm With Stupid says:

      This actually makes sense now! It got a ton of dislike votes. Maybe Failbook did this on purpose…..posting it without actually blocking the names so everyone will go and tell the people on FB how disgusting they are! Failbook, I take back my calling your desperate and change it to brilliant!

      • Damien says:

        That’s true, both profiles you found were wrong. You can only see one picture on my profile, the profile picture and it’s a hand drawn picture, nothing hillbilly at all. I was laughing at the original joke btw, not the other stuff.

  135. Me says:

    These really are disgusting. Usually I understand that when things are a joke it doesn’t matter, but there is nothing funny about joking about molesting dead babies. I mean WTF??!

  136. Scottie says:

    I only had to read the first ‘joke’ to realise these are not and never will be funny, they are sick. I know it’s a free world but I think some people should step away from their computers NOW and get back out into the real world

  137. Thorne says:

    What’s the difference between a truck load of dead babies and a truck load of bowling balls.

    You can use a pitchfork on the dead babies.

    (It’s not offensive because the babies are already dead)

    • Your Mother says:

      It’s not offensive because you are mentally handicapped and therefore unaccountable for your actions.

      So, when you or your loved ones die, would it be alright if you/they were fed to wild animals?? Why not just do it when you’re alive, too?

      You make me sick.

  138. Shelby says:

    This is disgusting. Remove it.

  139. I'm With Stupid says:

    If I remember correctly this pathetic post got a lot more dislike votes than like votes while in the voting stage (just like above). Why is it in the feature section? Are you really that desperate Failbook?

  140. joe says:

    What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby get for Christmas?

    Cancer.

  141. Owen says:

    This was brilliant, poor failbook commenters, you’re too sensitive.

  142. Deadbabiesamuseme says:

    You should probably realise that no matter how much arguing and commenting about how wonderful or horific you find these comments, nothing’s going to change.
    I personally read these, and I giggled like a child, therefore meaning they are, to me at least, a joke. Humour varies from person to person, and by insulting people who find this funny, you’re simply giving them (Or should I say us?) the chance to create an argument which is generally something I at least, enjoy. I love a good argument. I have an opinion, and whether it’s on war and peace or a dead baby joke I’ll still argue to the death about it.
    Now I shall amuse myself, and hopefully others by entering a whole new level of “Sickness” to some, and “Amusement” to others.

    What’s harder than nailing a dead baby to a wall?
    Nailing it to a puppy.

  143. direclown says:

    What I find funniest about these are not the jokes themselves, but the fact that you can read most of the people’s names, even after they’re “censored.” Guess I ought to watch what I post on FB!

  144. Your Mother says:

    You know, everyone was baby at some point.

    This post is truly disgusting and should be taken off of this site.

    Absolutely revolting.

    • Deadbabiesamuseme says:

      Should it really?
      This site, when opened as a tab on my browser says, “Failbook – Funny Facebook Status Messages (Failbooking)”
      Who cares why, or how, but some people find this amusing, and thus, there is no reason to take it off. If somebody makes an Englishman Irishman and Scotsman jokes, you dont see an English tea-drinking, an Irish potato farmer and a Scottish caber tosser going crazy about it. People have different levels, and if you dont like it, then that’s your level reached. Other people find this amusing, therefore it fits Failbook’s description.

      How many potatos does it take to kill an Irish Man?
      None.

  145. yo mamma and yo daddy too says:

    You Shelby are disgusting and should just remove yourself if you don’t like something…or maybe post a paragraph that most people won’t read.

  146. Harmony says:

    Mucho Bueno.

  147. Pynkpunk says:

    To everyone who thinks this is funny:

    Dr. Kermit Gosnell sends you a postcard from prison. It says, “LOL!!! Miss you. Wish you were here.”

    I wish you were there too.

  148. Joe Mama says:

    What’s the difference between a brick and a dead baby?

    I don’t have a pile of bricks in my garage.

  149. anonmity says:

    Haha, I don’t get why people are calling this cruel and tasteless. I think it’s hilarious. Besides, they’re just jokes, it’s not like the average sane person runs around killing babies.

  150. The Green Pirate says:

    3833 people need to lighten up.

    And using my incredible psychic powers, I foresee some ignoramus angrily replying to this with some lame religious excuse.

    • ignoramus says:

      God hates you! Killing babies is bad unless they are homosexual. Of course, since they can not speak yet, god demands that you have sex with babies before you kill them to see their reaction.

    • Harmony says:

      Q: Why did they call him the green pirate?

      A: Cause he was the only pirate to ever get sea sick while sober.

    • Justice says:

      Jebus told me to shoot an abortion doctor.

      HA HA! I’m so funny!

  151. Fatal says:

    Oh my gosh I stopped reading after the first few, I felt like I was going to puke! Absolutely disgusting!

  152. Chiara says:

    Seriously you guys need to lighten up. firstly the original joke was funny so it wasnt her fault for the comments and secondly yeah the dead baby jokes may not be funny but then dont read them. they dont deserve this abuse and some people just have a sick sense of humour as is evident by the same type of jokes commented on this post. I dont see you trying to facebook stalk and abuse the commenters so please leave the people in this post alone.

  153. amber says:

    WTF I cant even read on , these jokes are horrible and pedophilia

  154. Sebastian says:

    hahahahaha!!! i was in the library it was sooo hard!! :D

  155. umm, i, i forget says:

    whats the difference between my golf clubs and a baby?
    A baby isn’t about to be violently bashed into your skull.

  156. Ye says:

    The ‘humor’ in dead baby jokes is not in the premise, or the actual idea of what happens, or the act of doing this to said babies.

    It’s the instant reaction after hearing the utterly insane action that is done in the joke. As i said up farther, there is nothing funny about dead babies, or doing these things to dead babies, but the sheer insanity of these ideas makes me laugh.

    Laughing is a reaction, and something people can’t usually control. I can tell you for a fact that i would never do these things, nor consider doing them, nor even consider consider doing them, but i still laughed. Because that’s what the jokes are about, the shock of hearing them.

    • Agreed says:

      Thisthisthis. It’s like the “The Aristocrats” joke; it’s all about shock comedy. No one is suggesting actually performing the horrible acts in the jokes – the jokes are told primarily to get a reaction.

    • Mary says:

      I didn’t laugh at all. I actually had to cover my mouth so I didn’t barf.

  157. box says:

    Yes I remember the heady days of 1992 when these jokes were still funny and not worn to death with repetition. It’s always hilarious to watch people spew out 800 in a row and think they’re being ‘edgy’.

  158. American Eagle says:

    I proudly disliked this garbage.

  159. Maggie says:

    So called ‘humour’ relating to child abuse will never be funny – EVER.

  160. Rebecca says:

    I can’t believe this…there is no way to justify these “jokes”. Absolutely disgusting.

  161. onthesunnyside says:

    Forgive me – I couldn’t find the post to which I wanted to reply:

    TO THE PERSON WHO BROUGHT UP “A Modest Proposal” by Jonathan Swift:

    Please do not attempt to skew classic literature to support these jokes. Yes, A Modest Proposal is “about” eating Irish babies as a means of population control. It is, however, a satire and the intent of Mr. Swift was to shock and offend to bring to light the fact that the Irish were treated as less than animals by the English. The intent of these “jokes” is to entertain, provide amusement and humor. Huge, HUGE difference. I don’t doubt Mr. Swift is turning in his grave at the thought of one of his most celebrated works being used to provide acceptance for this abomination of humor.

    I do not find these to be funny, but to each their own I suppose. Kindly do not attempt to use literature to aid in your argument, I feel it is beyond your capabilities.

  162. this isnt sparta says:

    ya kno, i’m not too fond of little babies, but these jokes aren’t funny..
    they’re just repulsive and disgusting..
    no offence people, but i really didnt like it..
    I’m not sure wot part of it did you ppl enjoy but i dont think that right to enjoy those..
    each joke i read made me imagine the situation. i found it really disturbing..

  163. me says:

    Only joke if you’re able to joke about everything, otherwise don’t bother.

  164. Justice says:

    I’m just posting to see if I’m post number 700.

    Also reiterating, if you found these jokes funny, you’re twisted, and not in a good way. If you, “Laughed so much it hurt” like some have suggested, then it might be a good time re examine yourself.

  165. no1 @ all says:

    just wanted to say that i love how many people are wasting their time on raging @ these jokes xD

  166. Ater says:

    Censoring name fail.

  167. jezebel says:

    I came back to see how mad everyone was about the jokes… and I can’t find my original post but it might be because I’m too lazy to read through so everytime I look I skim it.

  168. Mr.MildlyAnnoyed says:

    This entire thread would make an amazing psychological case study or even a book.

  169. Mary says:

    This was absolutely disgusting and I felt like crying when I read this.

  170. The Amazing Rando says:

    ______________________________________________________
    Everyone above this line who made dead baby joke or thought they were funny deserves to burn in a fire while everyone who has ever had their baby die gets to roast marshmallows over their smoldering corpses.
    Fvck you all. This is the single most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen on the Internet.

    • COOLSTORYBRO says:

      we understand they’re jokes, but let’s make this perfectly clear: they’re not funny.

    • Harmony says:

      As much as I dislike these jokes, I can’t agree. I could kill someone who is evil enough to do these things granted I caught them in the act as idisputable proof, but I could not kill someone for thinking this is funny. I make not like it or their opinion but I couldn’t physically harm them over their opinion. I can rant and rave, but using physical violence would put me on a lower level than they are.

    • Paperclip says:

      Oh okay, so it is absolutely out of the question to joke about dead babies, however it’s alright for you to say that everyone who does deserves to BURN IN A FIRE and others can ROAST MARSHMALLOWS OVER THEIR SMOLDERING CORPSES…?!??!!

  171. below the line says:

    Best camping snack ever: graham cracker, chocolate, and baby

  172. Cas says:

    This post have over 700 comments, I would say it stays… and the jokes are funny in an unfunny kinder way…

    Ohh the bible writes about David killing Goliath with a rock or whatever that was, chances are maybe I should try it on Donald, he is tall and big so it might work*****good idea bible***

  173. Cas says:

    Rebecca, wanna marry me for sex???

  174. Cas says:

    So really no sex?

  175. ninja penguin says:

    Whats the difference between a lambourghini and a dead baby?

    I dont have a lambo in my garage. XD

  176. Bballfosho says:

    Eh, that’s sort of nasty. :(

  177. killerkeller says:

    ha i know these guys!

  178. Bill the Drill says:

    What is black and blue and hates sex?

    The 10 year old in my trunk.

    • omg says:

      YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THATS FUNNY?!
      before you say i have no sense of humour i do but that just wasnt remotely funny!

      • Asylum31 says:

        You forgot to qualify that statement with this: to me. Your statement should have said “…but that just wasn’t remotely funny, to me!”.

  179. Sarah says:

    That’s not even remotely funny. That’s just creepy and disgusting.

  180. AnOpenMind says:

    With 700 Comments, people need to start reading what’s already been posted before throwing their opinions onto the bonfire. A lot of repitition is going on from both ends of the spectrum.

    I have been offended numerous times reading this thread. However, I recognize that my tastes are not shared with other people. I also have the humility to know that forcing my beliefs on another person is counter-productive to the point of a discussion.

    By discussing where we stand on a subject reflects that point of view, thus helping the group to understand the subject as a whole. Wonderful points supporting both sides have been presented, and yet we still have educated people pissing at each other trying to win an argument that doesn’t have a winner.

    I have taken most offense by people taking content personally. Just because something was posted that clashes with your interests doesn’t mean it was posted to specifically harm you, so stop arguing like you’re fighting for your emotional rights. By bringing your own luggage into the debate you’ve only harmed yourself.

    This is the internet, there’s far worse content out there than some made-up stories someone posted. If you want to really make a statement, ask a question and really care about the answer.

    Q: “What do you get when you cross a dead baby with a box cutter?”

    A: I don’t know about you, but I get a hard-on.

    • Stompariffic says:

      My brother was always taking content personally on the internet and he died recently. How dare you disrespect his memory in this callous personal attack. You are such an a-hole.

  181. omg says:

    i hated reading this, it was so horrible:’( that guy has some issues! and theyre all like”thats great” but its sick:(

  182. JK says:

    I think it’s a sign that I’m doomed to eternal damnation because I seriously couldn’t stop myself from laughing. Anyone know a good exorcist?

  183. Ceec says:

    Anyone who reads this post and laughs needs serious help. It’s super disturbing – these kids need help, therapy, meds, in-patient treatment – you name it. It made me want to puke. People are sick and twisted – anyone who finds humour in having sex with babies and torturing animals should be put away for life. I visit this site to have a giggle, failbook, you failed.

  184. Ok says:

    I think these jokes were funny! And to all you people out there who didn’t laugh and found it distasteful, can’t you go out in the world and stop the true cruelty, instead of being angry with us who are fine, and can have a laugh at, these jokes?

  185. Pantene says:

    I can tell that the one guys name is Gary Fleming. You should get better at hiding their names.

  186. brandon moore says:

    what did the blind, deaf, cripple kid get for christmas?
    CANCER! :D

  187. Wow says:

    Seems an awful lot of people don’t understand the idea behind shock humor. The key word here is “shock.” We laugh, not because infanticide is funny, but because laughter is a startled psychological response. The whole point is to push each other’s buttons, at least in a theoretical sort of way. It’s amazing to me how many of these comments call for incarceration or violent execution of those of us who like these jokes. Yeah, the humor is immature, and disgusting. But that’s why some people find it funny. Think South Park, or Beavis and Butthead. If you don’t understand this, then it’s basically impossible to explain to you.

  188. TheSuddenFreak says:

    What’s a dead baby when it’s not a dead baby: an abortion.

  189. YouRsick says:

    Some of those cruel, sick jokes made me throw up. Honestly. I thre up. I get you are just kidding, but i think they were unnecessary. I must admit i laughed at the first 3 or 4 but after someone, I forget who, kept talking about eating babies and such.

  190. hannah-bannannah says:

    so. not. funny.

  191. Cyd says:

    Hidden among these Guys are the Criminals, Necrophiliacs and Cannibals.
    Definitely.
    Promoting themselves and their crime.
    Ugly.

  192. DrowningFishy says:

    I would laugh, but I am horrified that I am a Fleming. Why does this horrify me? He sounds just like the Fleming family members I have met when my grandpa passed away. o_0

  193. rhiannon says:

    its not the actual situations that are so funny, its the kind of…tastelessness thats so funny, so to speak. and pedophiles? rly? i was molested in the 5th grade by my own father and i find these to be halarious. as for my shortcomings as a human being i hope to be a criminal prosecutor and a social worker for sex crime victims. so yes, i guess i am a horrible human being for liking these jokes and finding them humorous. shame on me.

    also, sweetie, im a woman with lady parts. and i hope to have atleast 3 children when i become old enough. :)

  194. random girl says:

    you are not too holy to be on failbook meh friends

  195. The Girl Next Door says:

    Hiding identity fail…..


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