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zz =/
… overkill.
yup…
I was not expecting Rosebud to be his sled!
Thanks, you just saved people two long boobless hours
“rosebud” was more of an inside joke, a reference to william randolph hearst and his affectionate name for a certain part of the anatomy of his mistress….
ya, for serials. nobudygivzapoop
My dad was spoiled for Citizen Kane by a Peanuts comic strip THE DAY he was headed to the theater to see it.
He was still pissed about that up until the day he died.
Epic!
lolwut
Michael Jackson is dead!
One day we will have a mobile telephony.
That’s impossible! Burn the witch!
How do we make fire?
It’s easy. God sets a bush aflame, and then we have fire.
You ate the forbidden fruit?! Exile!
maybe one day we will get out of this water… start to maybe walk around… maybe in a garden… with apples
But I haven’t evolved past my basic survival instincts yet!
fire?
I thought this was pretty good.
Comparatively speaking.
I am mad Germany invaded the Rhineland but Hitler swears it’s his last invasion, he seems like a trustworthy guy…
Bill Gates says we’ll never need more than 640kb of memory. I hope he’s right. Which reminds me, I’ve almost saved up the $75 for a trackball mouse for my C-64…it’s going to be totally tubular rad!!
I can’t believe Microsoft will never create 32 bit Operating Systems, either… So much for advancing technology.
I just paid only $80 for a 128 mb memory card for my 2 mp camera!!!
What’s a 2mp camera? Is that anything like my Kodak 110 Instamatic?
Kodak 110 Instamatic? Is that anything like my Brownie Box?
It only took 20 minutes for it to load my favorite game. That’s some pretty impressive processing speed!
Oh my! They made a double bass so small you can hang it around your neck!
O…M…G! :O Seriously?
WIN!
Thanks for reminding me. I have to go pick up my bellbottom hiphuggers from the dry cleaner and my gogo boots from the shoe repair. *Fires up ’66 Mustang*
Does this crinoline make me look fat?
Wait! Dinosaurs are extinct?
They are lying to you. I just saw Land Before Time 108: Littlefoot Gets An iPad.
LOL!
Wow… this is now my new favourite comment of all time.
Actually… no, they’re not.
Man that was a long boat ride, should of stayed in england, thought the Mayflower would never make it
If it weren’t for the indigenous people, we would have starved! Something tells me we’ll fit right in!
Can you believe he picked Noah to build that ark?? I’m a MUCH better carpenter!!!
because trolling the internet is so exciting
That was the most boring few minutes of my life.
because trollling the internet is so exciting
WIN. F**KING WIN!
Also, arrested developement has been off air for… years. There haven’t been new episodes in… YEARS.
The Force is weak with this one…
Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No! It’s the joke going over your head!
Can you believe the U.S. Constitution was just printed out? It was long!
It gives us more freedom than we had under the Redcoats!
Did you guys hear?! Queen Victoria is dead!!
Say What? She died? OMFG!
WAIT. She became QUEEN?!
Her granddaughter’s daughter had better live longer and serve better than Victoria did. I hear that she’s planned to be named “Elizabeth.”
I just bought Win 4.2 for my Apple, I hope it’s as good as the apple. Now for Civilization!
Have you heard about this Steve Jobs guy? I hear that he’s making computers out of his garage.
that was bill gates u retard
I just heard Amelia Earhart’s gonna attempt to fly solo across the Atlantic! I believe in her
I don’t. I’m afraid she’ll get so lost that her fuel will run out before finding land.
This is why I hope for my grandsons to invent something to replace the map in over 50 years hence. I would recommend they call it a “global positioning system.” It would be like watching a newsreel film, but of a map, with a blinking dot of where you are at that very second, and a readout of how far you are from your destination.
Sent from the residence of Chris Lee Garmin, Olathe, Kansas
Wow! People can fly now? I thought they could only drift in those fancy balloons with baskets underneath.
Whats this internet rumour i keep hearing about??
Did anyone else hear that big ass bang just now?
funny
+1 internets.
+2 internets.
+3 internets.
+4 internets.
What’s an ‘Internet’?
“Posted July 2, 1994:
The INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY!
That name is a little long for us to type, so a lot of us newsgroupers (and “chatters,” whatever that’s supposed to mean), are pretty interested in shortening it down to “Internet.” I wanted it truncated to “InfoSoup” but they think it “tastes” gross.
- C., Age 9
(Spelling and grammar assisted by his dad T.)”
I hope you mean “big-ass bang” and not “big ass-bang”.
I hope the opposite.
Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state…
Good call. *Thumbs up*
Hey! Have you heard about this Hitler guy? I think he is going far in life.
I just received an urgent telegraph from my pen-pals Elise Kaplon and Mordechai Guskenzweig that their friends have been getting mistreated by the local Polizei, and some of them have disappeared by getting “rounded up” and herded into cargo trucks. What’s wrong with buses? Trucks are for cargo!
I sent them a telegraph back that I have a really, REALLY bad gut-feeling about their situation, and that they need to move to Switzerland or another country not occupied by Germany NOW!!!
(But I ran outta space when I asked them to avoid areas under Stalin’s rule! I hope they go to Switzerland instead! :-O )
I just met this guy named Sqanto, he just showed me what corn was and I was like OMG!
Your mom is as old as the big bang.
I hear the Hindenberg has a great ride, looking forward to the ride!
I don’t like riding hydrogen-based vehicles. I will only ride the Hindenburg once I have the money, and once it runs on Helium. I feel a LOT more comfortable with Helium!
I s**t you not, I just heard about this guy named Jesus that turned water into WINE! I am SO gonna invite him to my next party!
No way! Really? I am sooooooo there!!!
And yet, “Beer is a brawler and wine is a mocker; whosoever that is astray by them is not wise.” A divine scroll sayeth thee above statement.
Why does Jesus make that which mocks?!
I just bought the latest Deep Purple album for my 8-track.
Stop living in the past, buddy. Cassettes are the future!
Who are they? I just got into this ragtime craze.
Tea is from China. Just sayin’.
It’s grown in India as well.
BOYCOTT MAO’S TEA. HIS CULTURAL REVOLUTION IS KILLING 20 MILLION OF HIS OWN COUNTRYMEN!
I get the feeling that once Mao dies though, his revolution will be replaced by the forced abortions of girls and defective boys, plus the sterilization of women, as a “better” way to control the population surge. I wouldn’t be surprised if all but the wealthiest families were allowed to only have one child at a time in a few years!
wow, I hear they are having a fight down in Hastings. You want to stay away from there.
Haven’t the police been called? My favorite bookstore needs a security guard from now on then!!!
And while we’re at it, I haven’t seen a new episode of M*A*S*H in like forever.
Bring out your dead!
Huh. Looks like they’re building some kind of wall here in Berlin. Ah, I bet it’s nothing of interest.
really, I thought that was being made in China.
You Sir, are a retard.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berlin_Wall
I fear not, my dear lad, for you are the retard.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Wall_of_China
This exchange literally made my day.
Can you put Failbook comments on Failbook?
I really hope so….
My pen-pal is on the Eastern side, and I don’t like their anti-democratic system of government. I had better send him an urgent telegraph to run away to the western side ASAP before it’s finished! I get a really, REALLY bad gut-feeling that his existence will be quite miserable if he doesn’t heed my request!
Ah, this plague thing is just a little bug. It’s not like it’s gonna kill anyone.
I am phobic against ANY disease, so I will wash my hands anyway. If the village to my east starts to dwindle its population due to a plague, then I had better move west!
I got better.
HOLY F**K…I just heard jesus was crucified! hey i know….before he resurrects, im gonna market this idea and make a killing….sorry to hear about jesus though..SUCH A SHOCK…he was so nice too.
woah why would they kill a kid i mean isnt jesus still a kid he just had his barmitzvah last week it was great they even got this up and comming band straight from the hard streets of Corinth to come play they rocked everyones socks
WHY TAKE FIREFLY, NO FOX!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO YOU BASTARDS! AT LEAST MAKE A MOVIE THAT ALSO DESERVES A LOT OF ATTENTION BUT WON’T GET IT, THUS NOT GIVING THE FRANCHISE ENOUGH MONEY TO CONTINUE BUT MERELY FALSE HOPE. please?
Yeah, hahaha!!! I just won TWO seats on “Titanic!!!” Who’s with me???
I have a phobia about any ship that has less lifeboat seats than the capacity of the ships, so I’ll just wait to immigrate until I find a boat with enough lifeboat seats. Thanks anyway though!
Count me in! You know, I hear it’s unsinkable.
Anyone up for a game of Pong at the local arcade?
Pong is so yesterday. Galaga is where it’s at.
galaga psshhh turtles in time is the shiatzu my friend
Robotron 2084 is the Überest game I’ve seen! That’ll pwn the galaga and triple-pwn the pong.
Amelia Earhart should be back from her trip any day now.
And have they found a cure for polio yet?
I don’t trust the structural integrity of her plane. I think her fuel range won’t give her much hope of making it to her last destination either.
Maps are not always the best way to get around in the middle of the sea. I wish there was a “movie map” showing her where she is every second, so she’d know how to get somewhere.
I want my grandsons to invent it someday. I’ll tell them to call it the “Global Positioning System.”
Will they be rich off of it? I hope so, but what do YOU think?
- Mr. Chris Lee Garmin
Queen Elizabeth’s not gonna last. I’ve bet all my sheep on Mary, Queen of Scots. You’ll see!
this buddy of mine just invented this thing he calls a “wheel” but I don’t think its anything special
It’s a little special, but I have an etch-pal named Icarus who is trying to invent a human wing. I warn him to fly in a cold climate or at least stay away from heat while he does so, or else his wing-wax will melt and he’ll fall to his afterlife.
It took me a full day to etch this missive onto my tablet, and will take over a month to reach him. I sure hope the roadside bandits won’t consider my stone missive a valuable item worth stealing though!
Icarus is a liar. He just does it for the attention, pay him no mind. Lost his mother and all and then all these years dealing with the labrinth, well, things have been hard. And Can’t you just send a bloody scroll with this information? It’s gonna be wicked hard to outrun a minotaur if you’re carrying around some immense stone tablet. but i digress… No, icarus isn’t inventing a human wing, I am. And as long as we don’t fly too close to the sun or the sea, i’d say we’ve got as good a chance of escaping as orpheus did hades! Though, come to think of it, he’s stopped answering my scrolls… Oh well. Hope all is well in stonehenge!
Greetings from crete! Icarus says hi.
With fond regards,
Daedalus
I would send a scroll but since Icarus comes from nobility, they will only answer missives that are sent in tablet form. They have received too many scrolls; more than they can deal with, so they decided it’d be best to only receive tablets.
They reckoned that anyone who cared enough to etch tablet missives would be worthy of the time of day to be replied to. I know it’s a tad inconvenient, but I understand his family’s and compatriot’s frustration.
I just had the opportunity to buy 30% of this small company for almost nothing , but I just don’t see ” Facebook” going amywhere anytime soon …
i know i read about that on my hi 5 account
I’m a little upset about that big bang thing. Next thing you know…there goes the neighborhood.
Hey why is that star over a stable in Bethlehem? Is it because some of something important? Ah nevermind.
I have assembled my two closest colleagues to investigate. I believe a divine being has just arrived in that town off in the distance, so all three of us will bring gifts. I am bringing Gold, Mesach is bringing Frankincense, and Abednego is bringing Myrrh.
Please wish us a safe journey while we camelback through the desert!
Sir, do not pretend to be me, Melchior, and do not pretend to know my friends Gaspar and Balthazar.
Wait, then who was Shadrach, Mesach and Abednego and what were they known for??
“They’re my pals, went into that furnace with me when the king tried to kill us for praying! He threw me into a lion’s den the other day too! We’re all fine though, an angel came to protect us!”
Sent via G-Mail
g mail what is this g mail you speak of dont you use aol mail
ok im gonna be the one to break the jokes for a second shadrach mesach and abendigo were the 3 jews thrown in nebuchhenezzers furnace u idiot someone ddnt pay attention in bible class
Except Columbus didn’t really find the way to India through sea. It was Vasco da Gama, and being from the same country as him, I feel outraged.
NEWSFLASH: Apparently Isaac Newton’s in the hospital with a concussion! Seems that he was hit on the head…something like that. He’s asking for chocolates…but says he does NOT want apples!
Have you guys heard of this new invention? You plug it an it provides heat and luminosity, no oil whatsoever!
Edison’s Sunshine Bulb could be a fire hazard if too close to fabric. It needs to be shielded somehow for safety’s sakes.
I have a feeling that it will make coal power plants belch so much more soot, it’ll kill more children by taking away their ability to breathe. I need to ask my colleague, David Cooper Hewitt, to make a mercury-based light; it doesn’t require nearly as much heat, as the liquidity of the silver fluid metal keeps it cool. I’ll ask him to call it “fluorescent” lighting; it should take less energy, and be FAR safer than Edison’s design.
Of course it’s more complex, but the added heat-safety and reduced resultant emissions from the power plants is well worth it.
Women are wearing pants now? That’s just wrong…
I have a pen-pal who claims to be a psychic. He says that by the end of the 20th century, their skirts will be above their knees, and the way they’ll dress themselves at a SWIMMING POOL was so graphically-described, I don’t wish to share it with you!! EEK!
I’m so glad that they cannot vote.
Wait, what’s voting? And who’s this George Washington guy trying to take over our country?
Dude, what’s “our country”? Cause if you’re English, us French people are SO going to kick your BUTT this time!! You’ll see!
When our militias converge on North Bridge tomorrow morning, I will snipe, thus fire the first shot! I will stay well-hidden two rows behind the edge of the forest, high on the branches, so NOBODY will see who fired it.
I don’t want the world to know that I’ll have fired the first shot or else there will be a HUGE bounty on my head!
So please Frenchmen, help us throw the British out of our lands. We want to create our own country, because the British taxes on much of our goods are quite oppressive, and we deserve more freedoms than they’ll give us!
We will be your allies forever if you help us, okay? Merci Beaucoup,
-Edgar Smilen (Quillname only; real name withheld for security reasons.)
Datid Aprol 7, 1920
deer Meghan,
for curent evence at my clas, a clasmate sayd a womin: Susan B. Anthony, is makeing the USA let womin vote. Mommy can’t wayte!
luv yor pen-pal,
Irving Shultz, age 7, of Mrs. Shockamamey’s 2nd grade clas
Ya, would have been better if the same two no life ppl werent the only ones making the comments
What did you say? I was just stocking up on some garlic and crosses to keep the vampires at bay.
I would rather use my flintlock rifle and my son use his musket; that ought to do the job better than your garlic and crucifix.
How dare those flappers show their ankles and wrists! they should be arrested for being prostitutes!
hey, my cousin is heading out to the haight-ashbury to be a hippy, any advice?
Hello, I hear from my colleagues at my newspaper office that the hippies there are spreading LSD and other drugs around. You might like or hate it, but could get arrested.
But the planned “Summer of Love” ought to get you the love of your life!
Sorry to cut this short, but my husband and I are joining Lord Byron for the Summer for “creative reasons.” I don’t think much will come of it :/
Humanity never thought the world was flat, that is all.
The Greeks just brought a nice wooden horse for us here in Troy…wasn’t that nice of them?
NO, MY PSYCHIC MISTRESS THAT I GOT BETROTHED TO AT 7 SUN-TURNS TOLD ME THAT THIS IS A DECEPTION. She uses an oracle; a magic fountain that gives her visions.
It hasn’t worked for me, but she claims that this horse has a lot of soldiers and vermin that will injure and infect all you Trojans.
THEY WILL CONQUER YOU, SHE SAYS, SO PLEASE EVACUATE ASAP.
HAHAHAHA
That was epic.
Mm, that apple that Eve just gave me was delic-
Wait a sec…
Hannibal just showed up outside our gates. I’m so scared!!!
I wanna see that new Aaron Carter vid coming out but I don’t wanna look at it on AOL video because they’re the size of my wristwatch, and I can get done with my 8th grade English book report by the time it downloads!
We need faster modems. Until then, I’ll just have to rent one of his VHS music videos from the local Blockbuster! I hope no classmate from my middle school sees me do that, or else they’ll think I’m gay!
- ShangSlayer
I heard that this guy in Japan made this weird game… I think his name was Satoshi something… sounds like it’s gonna be crap and never catch on, but we’ll see how it goes I suppose.