Submitted by: Christopher
-
-
-
Copy & paste this:
« Previous Use OnStar to Update Facebook While Driving | Well, When You Put it Like That… Next »
« Previous Use OnStar to Update Facebook While Driving | Well, When You Put it Like That… Next »
What. The. F*ck.
Second that…
third that
Fourth that
Fifth That
sixth that.
seventh that.
Seventh that…
That has been eighthed.
To nine….and beyond!
double-digits
Nope, I’ll tenth that.
Eleventhed
Twelvthed
FALCON PUNCH!
Thirteenthed
I partial derivative that.
IT’S OVER 9000!!
Also, C-c-c-c-combo breaker.
divide by zero
fourteenthed
f**k the combo breaker
Why would they post this? Not only was it a stupid thing to do, but to post it on FB?
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER?
No.
you can’t reply on the ‘twelfth*’ comment
Pi that
noooooooooooooo!! aahhhhhhhhh!!! MENTAL IMAGE!!!! ><
FAKEE!!!
Not a yard broom by chance..??
You mean “Wat de fuk.”
No, because we use proper English here
na wee dunt
Yes, yes we do!
this r cheezberger networkz, wee speakz lyke we wan tuh.
When I see bad spelling I just think the statement with an Australian accent. then it seems ok
lol
Second that.
thirded
sad thing is ur right.
Oi!!! Not all Aussies are like that right!!!
nu wi dont its cald lolspeak luk it up
i think she copied this from 1000 ways to die. they had a episode about a girl who did that. so i claim this to be fake and gay
I remember reading a similar thing on the internet about 5 – 6 years ago
Hetties masturbate too, you know.
So I hear, anyway
false AND homosexual!?
Second that.
yes on the carrot, no on the bleeding. She cut the inside but air got into it and when you have air in your blood stream it is death for you. An air embolism. Like from the newer omen movies.
second that
I believe my prediction about fish evolving and enslaving the human race to make giant aquariums for them to rule the world. Say hello to Goldy, you’re about to be his b*tch.
Never thought of that, but sounds very possible 8)))
Sorry, but people like the subject of this facebook fail are proof that evolution is bunk. There is a God and He/She has a sense of humor. Idiots make God laugh.
So you’re not one for believing in an all loving god?
Perhaps it is more proof of natural selection.
So much for “Intelligent” Design
That God is called Darwin and every year he gives out awards to the idiots who amuse him the most. These awards are to die for
This was always what happened to the world whenever I played SimEarth. The fish would advance far beyond any land dwellers and nuke them.
Well, according to evolution, the first land-dwellers came from the sea, to it all comes full circle. Back to the egg, the cycle is complete.
U sir, are a doomsayer.
Seriously, I’m in love!
NOOO
DEATH TO SONAMY
So if you have a 75 gallon tank and 6 large catfish, basically you’re just holding conspirators against you in your own home.
i thought the swedish chef was male…
I think this is fake… why can’t you masturbate with a broom in your bedroom? There’s an old story about this that’s been going around for a bajillion years.
http://www.snopes.com/college/risque/broom.asp et cetera
I *knew* I’d seen it on Snopes!
*pelvic floor muscles.
Excuse me, couldn’t remember the english term for those.
A sphincter is just any circular muscle that contracts inwards.
You also have sphincter muscles in your eyes.
I actually heard about this exact thing happening somewhere about two years ago, so my guess this is merely a mockery of that which someone put up on Facebook.
Eeeek….
So women like to masturbate by using brooms.
No, THIS CHICK liked to masturbate by using brooms.
But not anymore…
when their dadys are home in the kitchen, ya right………
I wouldn’t say the father going in was planned.
Yeah, I don’t think she was expecting him to walk in…! The only reason he came into the kitchen was to ask where the hell his sandwich is.
+1
LOL… “the father going in ” …
which end of the broom works the best???
ha!
….That’s just….oh geez…no idea where to start on this…
no one really needs to know this…
That sounds really painful.
I cringed after reading that… >.<
This is fake. It is a story/joke from really long time ago. I heard this years ago.
Yeah, me too. Heard about it… two, three years back? And I really find it unlikely anyway.
suuuuure she did..
Wow… Just wow… When I was in high school there was a girl that did this… she didn’t fare out as well as this one…
And the most interesting thing is why on earth the author would LIKE this? I dont even think why other 2 do.
gross. just…..gross.
Why is it more embarrassing to get caught masturbating with the sweeping brush by your dad… than posting THIS STORY on facebook?
And then posting it on failbook, eh? Maybe because it’s fake, ya know.
NICE
This is fake, based on an old internet tale. Check it on Snopes.
This is fake no one types like their accent.
I second that.
+1
I dunno. Maybe y’all never encountered a Southerner on that there Facebook whuchamajigger.
haha Im scottish I know people can say things like dinnae and aye.
That works. But going ze counter de broom. doesn’t work haha
Oh yes they do! MOST people don’t, but there most certainly ARE people that type like their accents.
“de kitchern counter”
someone been playing de kitchen map in counter strike while masturbating ^^
You?
^*like*
There was a FML about this a while back. I wonder if its fake…>.<
if i were her dad id take the opportunity!
Gross!
Arrrrrrrrrr I been moderated.
This is totes fake. This story has been going around on the interwebs forever.
Herpdee derptee, I’derp agree, itsder fakee, bork bork!
o_O
O_O what the hell… so many things wrong with this. for now, I’ll just say why would you masturbate in the kitchen when your parents are home… do it in your room
*picks jaw up off the floor*
THIS exactly.
I… there are just no words. I simply cannot believe this actually happened…
gives all new meaning to sweeping things under the rug.
Haha that is an old story, swiffer girl.
I remember hearing that one like 8 years ago…
Fake or not, not what I want to see on this site. Please, Failbook, less of the just disturbing TMIs.
They’ll post something like this, yet moderate you for seemingly nothing in comparison….. Smart….
lol… I have to agree with you George Johnson…
Bork Bork Bork!
Why would someone post this publicly?
This gives the expression “sweep it under the rug” a whole new meaning…
this is just a cover story for her being a witch in training. She was learning how to ride the broom but failed at knowing how at first.
So fake, it’s not even funny. Way to try hard to sound like a teen or something!
This was an urban legend going around even before I had the internet. I remember hearing a very similar story when maybe 14-15 years ago where the girl is masturbating on top of her fridge and not on the counter top. This particular facebook posting is most likely fake.
I’d be more embarrassed by the way i typed that than by what happened.
Fake…
This sounds familiar …
http://www.snopes.com/college/risque/broom.asp
Must be fake – no woman who suddenly feels horny in the kitchen would use the broom. Not when there are so many other fruits, veggies and kitchen implements to try out.
Think about that next time you go to use the whisk.
Fake! http://www.snopes.com/college/risque/broom.asp
Could anyone translate that for me please?
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
This is f*cked up beyond repair.
Sounds like the next American Pie movie.
Glad I’m not the only one to read that and think American Pie.
Fake, it’s based on an urban legend. I read it on Snopes.com
AAAAAAUCH! this has to be fake
Trolling
Rofl. *Looks at 69 comments*
Wat a second… 70?? F**k
I find the most amusing thing the fact that there are 69 comments. Which I have just ruined. Fail.
Even if it’s fake, it’s f**king f**ny.
And no one is going to say “At least she was in the kitchen”?
CANNOT BE UNREAD!
this is just wtf material.
that must’ve hurt.
but why the f*ck would you o that??
IDK if this is real or not, but I was uncontrollably writhing a bit in sympathetic pain while reading it.
I did hear of a girl who was impaled upon an emergency brake once in a similar situation.
So I’m not sure what’s more disturbing. The fact that this may have actually happened, or that two people ‘liked’ it.
3 people liked it says YOU and 2 other people liked this = 3, sorry just had to correct you there
The mere thought of this makes me shudder. Though my friend’s mom who works in the ER has far more weird stories about people using inappropriate things for sexual pleasure………… :/
Ahhh. OW. I do not even want to think about how that would feel.
To everyone who points out snopes as proof it’s fake, what about the even more horrifying prospect of her being “inspired” to try it because she read that and thought the ‘urban legend’ bit was the part where you could hurt yourself?
Sadly, I wouldn’t put it past some people. This is why we have the Darwin Awards.
Snopes is not proof its fake but its far more likely she was ‘inspired’ to make up a story than actually do it.
Failbook, you have failed.
Urrrrrrrrrrban legend. So either this is entirely “fake and gay”, or someone got hacked by an idiot who couldn’t even think up an original status update to troll them with.
Thank god, hopefully she is now sterile.
The only real possibilities here are:
1-Chick got haxxored
2-Chick is attention whoring for some reason
3-It’s a fake account by a guy who wants to pretend to be a girl
4-It’s a fake account by a girl pretending to be another girl so she can humiliate said fake girl for some reason
~shiver~
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… Wait… what?
ummm i think that story was on like, 1000 ways to die, or something… i’ve heard it before. and if someone was really impaled, they would be dead.
Yes, it DOES actually happen…some people do really talk like that in real life.
I remember years ago, people in my class talking about this happening to someone.
P.S. I can only imagine the pain.
oh what the heck. Thank God that didn’t happen to me.
Sorry. Cannot compute.
This has been around the internet since at least the 90′s.
Fake and gay for sure.
Quadruple FAIL!
1. caught
2. impaled
3. hospitalized for it
4. posted it on Facebook
Pentuple FAIL if it really happened.
I don’t see why you have to keep bringing your mom into this.
oh no to bad for u…..i don’t even know u…
This reminds me of ‘Enoby Dark’ness Way’ or w/e her name is.
*shudder*
EBONY DEMENTIA DARK’NESS RAVEN WAY!!!!!! YESSSSS! WINWIWNIWNINWIWNWINWINWIWNWINWINWIWN!
is that status TYPED with an accent?
I saw this on snopes.com once. Like, this EXACT story. It can’t be true.
not trying to be stupid… did they block out the person’s first name and leave their last? isn’t it usually the other way around… but either way this is fake!
that’s my (kind of) girl
XD
By the peculiar way of writing and the broom incident, I assume they put her on black because she is.
What surprises me most about this story is that she spelled “masturbate” correctly.
No she didn’t, everyone knows it’s spelt “masticate”! Dur.
Sorry, on my My Immortal nightly kick. So surprised my brain cells are all intact. My Immortal is like a drug.
Omfg I think my mind just exploded from having to read such sh*t spelling.
How can people like that live with so little oxygen to their brains?
……eep. That hurts just to think about. I;m gonna have nightmares now. *whimper*
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sphincter
omfg ur an idiot
I remember this, it was one some morbid/pervert site, cept i thought she was on a washing machine and impaled herself with the broom..
Fake or not why can’t i find a chick like this so i can just wail on her instead of using a broomstick….
My comments disappeared on this page last night and were not showing up so I remade one of them only to find out the next day the old ones reappeared XD sry.
:O f**king hell that would hurt
Faaaaaake. This has been on Snopes forever. Not even funny.
i saw this on the news. liget