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Spencer wins.
i agree
1 million internets?
RUN TURTLE RUUUUN!!!!!1!!
I actually did have a turtle that ran away, lol. We left the door open accidentally while we were letting him roam around the house and he ran outside and escaped. Well, “ran”. You know.
I had two turtles once, Helmut and Brownie, my dad had found them crossing the road on a highway.
My parents gave them away to my cousin, because I was with them all the time and wasn’t studying, during my exams.
My cousin didn’t take good care of them. They both died.
If you were with them all the time, doesn’t that mean you were with them while they were crossing the road? Then why didn’t *you* stop them?!
You can only `find` something, after it has been lost. If it is lost, you usually aren`t with it. Since the Dad found the turtles, it is probably safe to assume that Princess couldn`t find them and therefore wasn`t with them. If the turtles were playing on the highway, she probably wasn`t all that good at looking after them either.
dips**ts he found the turtles crossing the road then gave them to his daughter princess. that’s how she came to own the turtles. make sure you know what you’re talking about before you criticize
No one asked for your opinion, so kindly STFU
Lol, yeah “wow” is right. I think wow understood what I was trying to say.
Princess -I apologise for the misunderstanding but in most states you need a permit to keep ANY wild animal, endangered or not, and it is illegal to do so otherwise. Not to mention that most adult turtles do not take well to captivity and frequently carry parasites or diseases. Turtle populations are declining all over the US (though in most places have not reached “threatened” or “endangered” status) because so many people are taking them from the wild to keep as pets.
By removing them all from their original territory and bringing them to your home, you were not saving them but probably dooming them. Turtles are very territorial and maintain the same territory their entire lives. People like you are the reason that turtles WILL eventually be endangered. Those turtles died after your parents gave them to your cousin. It would have been much better for them if your Dad had released them back into the wild or not taken them in the first place.
I live in Hyderabad, India. My dad found the turtles crossing the highway road, while coming home from work. He got them home because he used to see crushed turtles almost everyday.
I was about 12 years old, then.
I’m 20 now. And my dad is now at another depot.
And, I came to know recently that my turtles died due to some lizards which hang around the walls of houses, at night.
Thank you for your info on turtles.
But we don’t necessarily need a permit to keep animals here in our country. The star turtles are endangered here, I think.
Hyderabad…not a state in the USA. Who knew?
How is life in Hyderabad??
Well if it was overnight he could probably make it a respectable distance.
nothing wrong here, ran away always doesn’t necessarily mean left house by running, someone could leave the house at night by walking and be still called running away, same goes for turtles
must you ruin the fun?
santaclause is totally correct, this wasn’t a good fail at all…
That’s not the point… it’s a TURTLE. It moves at like half an inch per mile, and that’s not exactly hard to notice or catch.
maths fail
O god… half an inch per mile? whatever happened to D=rt? Only two values are given, and they are D/r, and (rd). Note the capital and lowercase Ds. please give a t and r so we can understand, and becoming an astronaut will be much easier.
I believe the turtle uses wormhole technology, hence half an inch per mile.
Half… an inch… per mile.
*applause*
Zombie you Maths Nazi you!!
thats not the point either, what “av” meant was that the turtle either got lost in the house or got lost outside of the house
Is there supposed to be a third option?
Spencer fails. Also, he missed the point.
Actually, some turtles are kind of fast…
hes right. its tortoises that r slow
She
fail in a fail, speed is distance per time not distance per distance, so it would be an inch per hour
Turtles do run. Well at least you could say walk really fast. I’ve heard a lot of stories about runaway turtles.
“half an inch per mile” now, this is a fail.
actually the person who submitted it fails, because they thought what Spencer said was fun. Or maybe it was Spencer who submitted it…
I thin that YOU guys are missing the point here… Spencer is making fun of the situation here… Why don’t you stop with you ‘philosophical’ thinking and just have fun with this… =_=
You’re new to the Internet aren’t you?
I’m sorry, but the internet is not taking any new applicants. Kindly GTFO.
Haha jp.
I read somewhere that turtles running away is actually a common problem. So I guess it does happen. But I do not know how or why.
I’ve owned some turtles, and they can be fast. Especially red-eared sliders.
My turtle ran away too
I hate telling my friends that. It’s embarrassing. But they’re quite fast actually…
Turtles can actually run away. They are so fast, not even Achilles could catch up
… until you realize it’s a limit problem and discover the answer is 10/9 instead of infinity.
I did calculus up till college and I still find the basic concepts mindboggling.
Greek mythology fail. Achilles is famous for being invincible, except for one spot on his heel. If you want a fast mythological runner, try Atalanta. If someone wanted to marry her, she would race them first, and if they won, she would marry them, if not, they would never be able to marry again. It’s an interesting story; look it up.
Substitute ‘never be able to marry again’ with ‘be beheaded’ and you have it.
Then again, I guess if you are dead you can’t get married
Greek maths fail. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeno%27s_paradoxes#Achilles_and_the_tortoise
No, you guys all fail. Turtles are actually REALLY fast. I had a turtle run away once, too. My sister was watching three turtles in the driveway, turned away from one of them for just a second, and it was gone.
Pwnt
Doesn’t make any sense at all if you’re British. Even if it was super fast, a turtle couldn’t possibly run away – only swim. A TORTOISE on the other hand…
Zoologists want to argue that point.
http://www.allturtles.com/turtle-species/box-turtle/
http://www.allturtles.com/turtle-species/diamond-back-terrapin/
http://www.allturtles.com/turtle-species/wood-turtle/
Maybe you Brits just don’t know what a turtle actually is because you don’t have any native species.
Pwned.
Really? Which zoologist is that? The random woman who created that website you linked to because she loves turtles?
The family is actually called chelonia, and includes turtles, terrapins and tortoises.
The box turtle is also referred to as the box tortoise (check wikipedia). Terrapins are also not strictly speaking turtles, although that website you linked to lumps all three in the same category of ‘turtle’.
The difference between the three is mostly semantic though, not taxonomic. Generally, if it lives on land, it is a tortoise.
Those three links from the same website don’t prove your point…they just show that Americans don’t indeed differentiate between turtles and tortoises.
Nik is correct. Perhaps this will help you (from Wikipedia):
British English normally describes these reptiles as turtles if they live in the sea; terrapins if they live in fresh or brackish water; or tortoises if they live on land.
American English tends to use the word turtle as a general term for all species. “Tortoise” is used for most land-dwelling species, including the family Testudinidae and box tortoises. Oceanic species are usually referred to as sea turtles. The name “terrapin” is typically reserved only for the brackish water diamondback terrapin, Malaclemys terrapin; the word terrapin being derived from the Algonquian word for this animal.
could win a race with anything by a hare.
Culture fail, the tortoise wins because the hare wears itself out and has to stop to sleep while the tortoise finishes the race.
Pun fail.
I’m not sure if you should say “British” so much as “basically educated”.
Touche, although “turtle” has been used for “tortoise” in the vernacular for years now…you could consider it a change in the language at this point.
And even if it were technically a turtle, they can walk as well as swim…
True that. I tried to ‘rescue’ a turtle from the road one day. My reward? Really stinky hands and nowhere to wash them.
My turtle ran away to
I wonder where it is now…
“Run away” is obviously a euphemism, so this is only borderline funny, IMO. And if any of you kept turtles, (or tortoises, terrapins, whatever) you would know that they can indeed run … and much faster than you’d think.
How bad of an owner do you have to be to make your turtle RUN away?
You don’t make it, genius. It just goes exploring and can’t find its way back…
Turtles can run quite fast. It’s tortoises that are slow
Turtles are actually quite fast…
I once put my red eared slider on the floor and watched it sit there for a half hour. I went to the bathroom for 1 min and it was gone, found it hiding in the closet in the basement an hour later. The turtle is 15 years old now.
I had four turtles once that could move pretty fast. Mind you, they had been trained in the art of ninjitsu by a mutant rat…
The turtle probably just went to see Mr. Wizard, and he’s probably in some alternate reality right now.
To all who are pointing out that turtles can move swiftly:
Wow. You do know this is a humor website, right? This is funny, and funny rarely equals 100% factual. Step back from your zoological journals, take a breath, and take it for what it is. A joke.
No, this isn’t funny if you happen to know that turtles move quickly. You obviously don’t know this fact, so to you, it’s funny. To the rest of us, it’s not.
my turtle ran away once too
i thought i was the only one!!
my friends still pay me out about it
turtles are not that slow really just a myth
Ok, I’ve had red-eared sliders and they were pretty fast.
Now, I own a Russian tortoise and I can tell you from experience that he is fast. Depending if the poster meant tortoise or turle, I can definatley see how one can run away. My own toroise can hide, dig, climb, and run really well. I often have to fill in holes he has dug. Not to mention he’s the best hide-and-seek player there is.
i like cookies
noo my friends turtle ran away as well! except it was some stupid pet sitter that lost him.
Actually, turtles and tortoises can go pretty damn fast.
turtles swim!!!
My father is a high school teacher, and one of his students actually used this as an excuse for being late to class. When he tried to get her to think about what she was saying, she didn’t get it. I think she was *slower* than the turtle, if you know what I mean.
I have two red eared slider turtles and they are both about 3 years old. The other day, as I was feeding them, I noticed that one of them had somehow climbed out of their tank. I found him in my bathroom exploring, although considering how he had already managed the climb out of the tank, perhaps he had other business in there he needed to attend to. I have literally no idea how that guy managed it, but he did.
Would it be bad for to me say that actually happened to me too?
I totally had two turtles that ran away. =[ Filburt and Speedy.
ok i’ve had a turtle which i amusingly named ‘Houdini’ that also ran away! which is not surprising since i found him in the middle of nowhere! so i’m not actually finding this amusing! they are nifty little buggers! he’d done it twice before but i found him but one day *poof* he was gone!! next thing i hear is that he’d been picked up by animal rescue and was on a plane back to Africa….turns out that’s where he was stolen from in the first place, smuggled out to Belgium and gone missing from several homes including mine!
AND BESIDES if any of u Nimrods did any real research u’d find out that the speed of a turtle depending on the breed, anywhere between .2 mph-.69 mph!!!
so FAIL to the lot of ya!!