Submitted by: Unknown
This is why I only eat human. I’m helping out the gene pool AND being sensitive to animals at the same time.
What’s worse, that the original poster copied the joke from FAILBlog or that his friends fell for it? Seriously people, who doesn’t read FAILBlog?
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Copy & paste this:
Yes, they have meat plants in stores that grow steaks and all the different kinds of meat.
good one haha
http://failblog.org/2009/03/26/meat-fail/
Copy, much?
As it says, and is linked to, in the description…
i just went to the comments to see if someone had already posted it
The saddest part is that he probably spent like hours searching for the page.
mmmmmmm, bacon tree
I gotta get me one of those!
I call dibs on that band name. “Bacon Tree.” AWESOME.
too late, already in use by me
where do i get one of those?!?! I want a bacon tree grove in my backyard!!!!!!
Watch out !!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s a Ham Bush……………….
The word “Meat” originally meant “Food”, Flesh was the name for flesh..but u cannot say this nowadays “O yes I’m a flesh eater” well u can but hey sum1 will prob dial 911..hehe…………
Or pull a shotgun on you and start screaming something about an apocalypse or something . . . what was it that guy said . . .
People like this destroy our planet ):
Years ago I over-heard a guy state that “It should be mandatory for everyone to carry swords, as that would weed out the weak and the stupid.”
Well, I suddenly find myself thinking that maybe he was right.
Hahaha, that’s the most awesome thing I’ve ever heard!
Or any lethal weapon, Really. I’d prefer a couple glocks myself.
Yeah, but a sword is so much more personal…
and more dramatic.
Especially if it was one of those old kinds that are as tall as the man wielding it. I think they were called ‘Zweihanders,’ but I could be wrong.
Imagine this situation…
You are in a class of high school seniors and juniors. You and your classmates are allowed to talk, as it is nearing the end of the period and have finished with the day’s lesson. You overhear some of the juniors trying to remember the order of the planets in the solar system, when one of the ditzy girls asks, “Which is closer to the earth, the sun or the moon?” You start to laugh, thinking she has to be joking. When she doesn’t laugh with the rest of the class, you stare at her, in awe of this personification of stupidity in front of you. “Wait, do you honestly not know the answer to that?”, one boy asks her. “No, why should I? I’m not an astrologist.” You can feel yourself losing brain cells at this point, when -as if by divine intervention- the bell rings, signaling your release from the class. This memory haunts you for years after it happens, for you wish that you could have done something, anything to save the gene pool of the human race.
*Yes, I know there is a difference between an astronomer and an astrologist, but this girl apparently did not…
Unfortunately, this is a true story, and I am haunted by the memory even now in college. I blame this incident (along with several similar situations) for my odd views on the human race, and I long for the day when the gene pool will have stricter life-guards than Darwin Award winners.
And we can all use moar drama in our lives.
Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week.
I think we could implement Dave Barry’s idea of making a car turn automatically if the the indicator is on for more than 30 seconds… Weed out those who can’t turn them off for about a mile after turning a corner.
who says chivalry is dead?
Actually people like you destroy our planet. The person is obviously being facetious and you’re too dull to understand. That means the fail is on you. Really, the people that think they’re the smartest (that means you dumb ass) are always the most f**ked up. Try not to make a fool of yourself on a public forum again.
hehe hypocrite..
it always have to be an American person who do this kind of things …you people claim Hispanics or Europeans r stupid but u people make a new whole meaning for stupid
Hispanic covers a lot of people and so does European. Why not include Asians and Africans in this mix? You’re including a nationality with races.
That comment right there just proves your stupid. Bravo!
Wouldn’t it be “your r stupid”?
No, actually it would be “you are”. So both you and I got it wrong, therefore, we’re both stupid, too!!!
I think the fact that this is fake, and that you didn’t read the description, means you are the bigger idiot.
Umm, 5150, pretty sure aphexzero was being facetious . . .
I love this site. Every post someone assumes it’s an American, and calls an entire nation of 300 million stupid. Then ten people jump all over that stupid assumption. Some names are thrown, and the next post is made starting the cycle all over again.
The best ones are the ones that call the entire nation a bunch of racists. Thats laughably hypocritical. Kinda like your post, only about stupid.
Zing and win! LoL
One of the many reasons to love the internet, and keep the name calling in real life.
The fact that you included a race and nationality there means YOU make a new whole meaning for stupid. c:
Please leave the internet, take a few basic English classes, then, and ONLY then, may you return.
wait the internet is made only for those who can write in english? lol are you f**king stupid?
red had to have been joking… unless she’s 7
Saddly, not necessarily. There are people out there this stupid. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you. They do exist and in substantial numbers.
Yeah, just look at the Twilight fans.
or Justin biber’s….
or Taylor Swift’s…
or The Beatles’
F**k you
or your’s
Kurenai has fans? News to me.
The Beatles had talent though, most “artists” of this generation rely on technology to make themselves sound better.
Say it ain’t so!!! You just damaged my fragile bubble of delusion.
Why do people kep trashing twilight?! the books are OKAY. its just the movies that suck. read the books people. i swear your opinion of them will change.
No. It won’t. They are written badly.
The Beatles weren’t all that good, especially Johns trash. He could sing, but his song writing ability was up there with his ability to survive small caliber pistol wounds.
I agree.. I don’t like new music. What happened to artists that had talent?
I’ll track you down and make you eat your family!
Somehow an exchange at a bar came up with a girl, one of four other people outside smoking with me, about hunting. I mentioned that I sometimes hunt turkey. I got the stink eye from her and asked her if she ate meat. She said yes.
We had quite a lengthy debate where I tried my hardest to point out that there was little difference between killing an animal to eat and eating an animal killed so you could eat it. That in a way contributing to the market for meat is just as bad as going out an killing it yourself. At least that way there was little waste.
She still considered it cruel to actually kill the animal yourself. I don’t see it that way, but I left her with her opinion. It’s hard to shake righteous indignation from a person.
Having both hunted and worked in the food industry, I must say it’s by far less cruel to hunt. Those animals at-least are free until they die where-as animals in captivity for the use of food tend to be maltreated, caged with limited move-ability, and in some cases forcibly over-fed to fatten them up before they die.
Can’t discuss things with some folks though.
I am firmly of the opinion that if you’re going to eat meat, you should at least try slaughtering an animal once. If you can’t do it – stop eating meat.
Granted…. I’ve not made good on that myself, so… *hides her burger
ooooooo0o a free hidden burger, this is my lucky day.
*nom nom nom*
Personally I believe that you should at least know the FACTS about meat, even if you cannot kill and animal, as I cannot, but I know what goes on etc. etc.
Love your last line there. I totally agree with your whole post. That stance is stupid. The animals that are hunted have a chance to run/outsmart the hunter too. Its not a slaughtering.
This is a staged comment… I saw it on ‘Headlines’ a few weeks ago on Leno.
You watch Jay Leno? Booooo you!
Jay Leno is funnier than you will ever be.
And Leno ripped it off of failblog.
Actually, a lot of Fail Blog newspaper headlines are taken from Leno.
L
Wait? Isint she right?
Please tell me you’re joking.
Not to take away the funny, but there is a thing called ‘mechanically recovered meat’. Whenever humans have cut as much off the bone as they could, the animal skeleton is chucked into a machine that crushes it and sorts meatish bits from other bits. The result looks like a cowpat, then budget food companies swoop in and make it into the most questionable sausages this side of Lorena Bobbitt.
So yes, there is a machine that craps out meat. An animal still has to die for it, but whatevz.
And then there’s viggie beef, which is.. stupid.
Veggie beaf is delicious.
I’ve had veggie beef, but never veggie beaf. I wonder what that tastes like.
Probably as bad as veggie beef.
Veggie Beef tastes like crap so I’m interested in this veggie beaf…
Am I the only one who’s never had viggie beef?
so blue is Andrea….judgeing by yellow….and red is just plain stupid
somebody please tell me this is some kind of movie quote or teenage inside joke … please?
Not a move quote, I just had to look that one up.
Definitely not some inside joke because everyone is giving her backlash.
unless she was got the joke somewhere else and tried it there, it’s happened to me before, when i used to play WoW, my guildmates apparently never heard of the “over nine thousand” meme.
I still don’t get that over 9000 joke. So i just smile and nod.
Then you probably didn’t watch Dragon Ball Z.
Oh, I know where it’s from… I just don’t get what is funny about it. I mean, besides the fact that the vast majority of reasonably intelligent people never got anywhere close to Dragon Ball Z.
That’s completely false. I’ll bet you that the vast majority of smart males watched dragonball Z. When I was in high school, all of my AP classes had guys who watched DBZ. Our valedictorian and I talked about DBZ a few times, lol.
Maybe you just went to a school where DBZ was, for some reason, “in”? All of the intelligent, anime-watching males in my AP classes wouldn’t touch DBZ with a hundred foot pole… let alone view it from that distance, let alone at an actually viewable distance.
Well, my AP classes never talked about your loser animes and my valedictorian could kick your valedictorian’s @ss!!!
So there! *sticks tongue out*
Children, children… DBZ is pure entertainment. You don’t have to think to enjoy the show. In fact, it’s better if you didn’t, so there’s appeal to the crowd that likes to think but needs a break once in a while, and to the crowd whose brains are mostly mush. There’s 0 intellectual stimulus in the show – it’s pure, useless action, explosions, violence, and anger… with the exceptions of Trunks, and Vegeta’s pink shirt.
There are lots of good jokes in DBZ if you are smart enough to understand them, but not so intellectually superior in your own mind that you over-analyze everything.
And if you don’t get the over 9000 bit in DBZ it’s because you weren’t paying attention to anything buy the above mentioned explosions, anger, violence and what have you.
It’s a joke. It was in a newspaper on the failblog site.
I really hope red was perhaps joking? Quoting some one else? This simply can not be true.
Milk comes from a glass bottle, Eggs from a carton, and salad grows in in loose leaves that get put in a plastic bag.
Wait, what?? I thought salad grew in those plastic bags??
Isn’t there a milk tap? A bit like the water one but, like, with milk?
Saw it on Failblog.
Lmao that is a fail and a half
lol
… obviously red wanted to be funny and the other were too stupid to understand
This was on Fail Blog, in a newspeper. It was exactly the same wording.
Maybe they were trying to be funny?
It amazes me the grammar and spelling mistakes I see daily on this website and on Facebook.
* The grammar and spelling mistakes I see daily on this website and Facebook amaze me.
Actually Tinkerbell was right. That sentence is grammatically correct. Me; your sentence ends with a preposition.
Dude, you fail to attempt a to be a grammar nazi. A comma goes after “actually”, and the semi-colon after “Me” should also be a comma. On the positive side, i learned something new. I was unaware that the word “me” is a preposition, a word that indicates the temporal, spatial, or logical relationship of its object to the rest of the sentence. I always thought “me” was just a pronoun, a word to replace a noun.
If you were joking, though, you should know that sarcasm is difficult to show through text.
Zing.
I feel like I’ve read this before on a cheezburger site . . .
I’m sure I saw it somewhere else too, but found this in one quick search:
http://www.yousaytoo.com/buy-meat-at-stores-where-no-animals-were-harmed/44821
Date: 7 April 2009…and I think the original one is much…múch older…
I seen this before too.
You have. It was printed in a newspaper someplace as a letter to the editor. Red is just quoting it.
Whew. I’m glad there’s a glimmer of hope she’s not really that stupid.
Not really cause that just means the person who put in the editorial is that stupid lol
i have trouble believing anyone could really be this stupid.
lol, still having trouble?
DOOR FAIL!!!
sad but true
Oh my
This is from somewhere else – word for word. I have had a picture on my computer from a “fail” type website – the picture is a newspaper clipping from an opinion article and the woman in the article says this. Word for word. This person must have seen that article and posted it because it was funny.
:/ Sorry to ruin it. I can send the picture to anyone who wants to see it.
No, you’re totally right. My Animal Growth professor showed the entire class this article before lecture last May. I recognized it here and was about to say exactly what you did when I caught your comment. So in the end, it more of an indirect fail here, since the person posting it on facebook is probably just doing it to be funny while the person who originally wrote it probably grew up in a hole in the ground.
The true fail is the fools that responded thinking that this was original.
Someone please take Red to an ethnic store, like 99 Ranch, or a Food4Less near the Mexico border. I want to see their reaction to the hanging chickens, saran wrapped cow heads and pig’s feet, and live lobsters and fish tanks. …now I’m hungry.
You don’t have to go to an “ethnic” store to see live lobsters in fish tanks… You can go down to Red Lobster and see that.
Of course, they’d probably think the lobster tank is there for decoration, like a fish tank.
Heh, I did something similar just to mess with my friend once. We were on a school trip for a Photography class and one place we stopped at was three huge warehouses that had been converted into an indoor market. We split up to look at the different parts of the market and I ended up alone for about 15 minutes. I was just wandering around, looking at the strange foods being sold, when one butcher’s stand that was selling a pig’s head and cow tongues caught my attention. I found my friend and told her ‘come check this out, I can’t describe it but it looks really good!’ After I showed her, she wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the day, but it was so worth it.
yup, another brainless waste of oxygen…
guys, this is fake this is from a newspaper red copied it. its bulls**t.
People really should have to slaughter a chicken as a child.
They have no appreciation for farmers or farming.
Agreed.
My husband hunts & butchers the deer by himself & we live off of that meat year round. Much cheaper & healthier than buying beef and we know exactly what went into it when it was processed.
I actually think hunting is more humane than raising an animal for the sole purpose of being slaughtered.
Not that I lose sleep over that. I’m a meat-eater.
SHush, you’re makin’ me hungry.
Actually, i agree with this. I’m sure that if I had to butcher a chicken as a young one, I wouldn’t be as squeamish as I am today…and maybe would have gone to med school.
Yea I agree. At least its entire life wasnt just being raised to be killed. That deer at least got to have a life first before it go shot.
Mh, I love you
Actually Red might actually be right. They grew some pork in a laboratory. They weren’t allowed to eat it though. I’m just trying to find some other explanation so that I don’t have to admit there are people this stupid
Never underestimate human stupidity
presumably she means that store-bought meat was killed humanely rather than dying an often painful slow death due to poor hunting
Sure, if you call a captive-bolt gun to the back of the head ‘humane’.
Doesn’t usually actually kill the cow, just stuns it. Keeps it under control until it gets to the slaughter.
There is no way to ‘humanly’ kill animals for food. You’re still killing an innocent animal, when you should no better.
If only all the ‘meat is murder’ vegetarians out there had known! I bet they’re really kicking themselves now…
It’s a quote from a newspaper article. So no, they’re not that dumb, but whoever submitted the original to the newspaper is.
Pff stupid old joke..
Perhaps by “harmed”, she means killed painfully. In her mind, all rendering plants kill their animals quickly and humanely, therefore killing them without harming them. While hunters are more likely to hit an animal in a lethal (but not instantly lethal) area, causing them to suffer for a few minutes.
She still may be wrong, but at least she wouldn’t be stupidly wrong.
http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/fail-owned-meat-origin-fail.jpg?w=500&h=266
:/
Weather =/= whether …
WTF is yellow saying?? Am I the only one who can’t understand her “English”?
Isn’t that a quote from an article at a newspaper?
It might be. I remember reading that before.
Red was obviously TROLLING, and you all FAILED by falling for it.
She almost failed though. She quoted something VERY obscure, and the quite is some facedeskingly stupid we’re all desperately trying to conclude that she’s quoting something.
Hard to say when people are trolling or not. This could be a troll or just a plain dumb person or a quote from something. If you believe everything’s fake and trolling, you can’t believe anything to be real.
Not everything, just this one
In this case you were right I guess, not saying it’s you but there seems to always be at least someone saying that the posted thing is fake.
Why don’t we failbookers unite and form a country? While the rest of the world fall apart.
but not all failbookers shall shall be let in! There ARE trolls on failbook.
If we build enough bridges there will be enough space!
Another failbook fail. Quoting fails is not the same as failing.
Also, I fail. Because I have Asperger’s.
Perhaps the fail is that her friends fell for the troll…
Red is just an Idiot. There are people that stupid in the world, and Red would be one of them.
http://failblog.org/2009/03/26/meat-fail/
Not only ripped, but ripped off from a website you run. Wow. Just wow.
failing are just those who commented on red. its old and red just quoted it
Exactly. That joke is so old it needs help crossing the street. I think the only person who really failed here was the idiot that submitted it.
Of course she’s not completely wrong. There are plenty of meats available that don’t harm animals like nut meats. Meat originally meant solid food as opposed to drink.
Key word is “originally”. Fake meat is not meat. The original newspaper clip was COMPLETELY wrong.
Which is why I didn’t bring up fake meat. Soy protein isolates barely count as food IMO.
Yeah, I read this quote somewhere before… Can’t remember where. You know, when I quote ridiculous things in my status, I use quotation marks so people don’t think I’m an all-out idiot.
I keep posting the link to the failblog post this was ripped off of, but failbook keeps deleting my comments.
If Yellow is a blonde, that would explain her atrocious spelling. Idiot.
why do you think her cover was yellow?
I was amazed aswell. I’m from Denmark and I’ll bet I can spell many english words better than her/him..
Wow fail. This is a quote from a newspaper clipping that was ON FAILBLOG.
How can we NOT notice this?
ohh…Failbook you got to step it up…this one is old lamebook news…as well as a lot of the other ones on your site. You have to do better than that!!
FAKE!!!! this exact sentence has shown up all over the internet
http://www.jesseshunting.com/forums/campfire/183129-shame-you-hunters-who-kill-food.html
http://www.livingwithoutmeat.com/fail-confused-meat-eater-shames-hunters/
More Chlorine for the Gene Pool, please.
iseewatudidthar
OP’s status was a joke. they copied it from a letter someone sent in to the editor of a newspaper.
Is it just me or does the yellow one make less sense?
If that’s real that persons a idiot even the fb friends are cracking up laughing at her.I’m a veg but i can’t stand those peta freaks.
lol PETA blows and i love animals and was veg for 8 yrs
they are terrorists… backing arsonists and the like. their values are completely back asswards.
I’m a vegetarian too [for fourteen years since I was three] and I hate peta too, they’re disgusting.
Everyone who doesn’t know where red got the joke from fails at description reading.
Hello, everyone! I’m here to spread the wonderful word of equality! Did you know that all humans are equal? It’s true! No one person is greater or lesser than another! Isn’t that great?! God made us that way, and God expects us to treat each other that way, so make sure you’re kind to everyone you see!
Do you believe in equality? Good! Let’s make this world a better place and spread the word together that all human beings are equal!
Blah.
I find it funny that someone who goes by the username ‘The Queen’ wants to spread the ‘word of equality’. Ironic much?
Pay attention to the several other times I’ve explained that my dear mother used to call me “The Queen.” The nickname stuck, and I rather like it.
Oh I’m sorry, I must’ve missed the memo that said to be awaiting every comment of yours in breathless anticipation, not to mention tracing back every word you’ve typed here.
I see you’re still using God. And still spamming.
I finally figured out what else to put and changed it. And yes, still spamming.
Where’s my f**king sandwich
“This God of ours, the Great Geometer,
Does something for us here, where He hath put
(if you want to put it that way) things in shape,
Compressing the little lambs into orderly cubes,
Making the roast a decent cylinder,
Fairing the tin ellipsoid of a ham…”
My step brother told me lasst week that he broked-up qith a girl because she was to stupid. One day she asked him if her brest was bigger he said i don’t think so why? she tolkd him it’s been like 4 weeks that she puts this on her breast and it’s marked as get more volume. it was obviously volumising shampoo. he hasked her it she was joking like three times she said no why would i be joking he told her it was for the hair and she would not believe him. Then he told her it’s enought our storie end up tonight.
This has been used so often that I am surprised anyone actually submitted this for Failbooking. And even more surprised that they let this be posted for us to “laugh” at.
Way to fail, failblog for the reupload without flashback friday notice.
wow, what a dumb ass.
This brings vegetarian stupidity to a whole new level.
As a vegetarian, I respect people who hunt their meat themselves more. I don’t have a problem with eating animals, I get that that’s natural, it’s the whole thing with big companies just slaughtering loads of them for lazy people.
So you prefer some idiot missing the vitals and making an animal crawl around for 20 mins before said idiot finds it again, compared to machines and people who pretty much line the animals up and kill them in one go, sometimes even going so far as to use sedatives?
You know not every slaughterhouse is like the videos from PETA you watch on youtube.
You’re living in fantasy world. Hunting is far more humane than any slaughterhouse. Calling a slaughterhouse humane is a litle lie people tell themselves rather than face the truth and actually do something about it.
I agree with N/A. Besides which, animals hunted in the wild aren’t pumped full of antibiotics, and thus aren’t contributing to the growing resistance of germs to antibiotics.
Because EVERYONE has the time and ability to hunt their own food.
Do you grow your own? Because you know, I could object to companies who reap profits from vegetarians who are too lazy to grow their own food.
What about those of us who could never even dream of killing an animal? I have problems swatting at a fly (and by “problems” I mean I don’t do it). I hear inanimate objects scream in agony when they are broken or otherwise damaged. I just don’t have it in me to kill an animal. I’m not lazy, I’m just overly compassionate.
Are you telling me you grow all your plants and never bought a single food? Please stop talking and showing your idiocy.
Wow, that’s a whole new level of stupid. I’m amazed.
March 2009? I didn’t even remember that one.
Damnnnnn. Idiott. Someone needs to get out more.
Or hunt more. >:D
what a stupid c**t
wow… 150 comments on why red is a complete idiot
Two things:
1) Regarding the little message under the image: Failblog doesn’t even know who Anonymous is. Check out their post on the Tea Party taking Anon’s slogan.
2) Plants are considered to be living things because they feed and reproduce (that’s the definition of “living”). Plants feed on water and light. Aside from a few exceptions, they do not hurt or consume other living things. Plants live in perfect harmony with nature.
Animals on the other hand eat plants and other animals. This is barbaric.
Vegans want you to believe that eating animals is bad and eating plants is good. Vegetarianism is about eating innocent living things that do not harm other living things to survive! It is a monstrous practice rooted on the destruction on consumption of the innocent!
Stop this atrocity and do not let it’s supporters corrupt you: EAT MEAT!
(And ‘Meat’ and ‘Eat’ rhyme, so what else do you need to see they go along?)
It’s this kind of stupidity that makes me lose faith in humanity.
Guys, tell me, are you all fuckin’ retarded? He was refering to a this picture: http://www.xerxy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/shame-on-you-hunters.jpg
And no, i did not search the whole Failblog just for this. I just googled the first sentence.
Fake. I’ve seen that post made word for word plenty of times before.
I call a major fail on yellow’s post too..That’s some pretty embarrassing English, no? Fake or not doesn’t matter. Stay in school, kids.
that’s why I’m veggie…
Actually, no, that’s not why. I’m veggie because, sadly, some farmers (I am not saying all) abuse the animals.
I’m glad you are Vegan for the right reasons instead of some made up Wikkan or new age crap about animal spirits or some other non-sense. I can hunt and kill my own food, but I have a job and it’s just easier to buy meat from the local packing house. Grocery store meat is all mystery meat.
I’d say most rather than some. They admit they do bad stuff and they just don’t care.