actually, the US just passed legislation past congress (not sure if has passed the senate yet) that would give the pres the ability to shut down all internet access in the US (not the world, just the US)… basically like how the Emergency Broadcast Signal works for TV/radio.
Okay, the Senate is part of Congress. Senate and House of Representatives make up Congress. And I doubt any kind of legislation of that effect would ever pass and become law. Google pulled out of China because of the regulation of the internet in China, so why would be follow in their footsteps??
July 9, 2010 4:38 AM PDT
China renews Google’s Web site license
by Lance Whitney
Google announced Friday that the Chinese government has renewed its license to continue running its Web site in China.
The rocky relationship between Google and Beijing had cast doubt as to whether the license would be renewed. The tension became public in January when Google said it would cease censoring search results in China and also pointed a finger at Beijing as the source of cyberattacks on Google and other U.S. companies.
Seriously read the news too it may help in your next endeavors
Yah, which like… wouldn’t work. Because the internet is a distributed system, with no specific central coordination. There’s nothing to “turn off.” Unless one means every single server. The best you can do is ask the big ISPs to do their part and/or shut down some of the big fiber optics. Either way, there will still be internet- it will just be a little trickier to access.
well the root domain name servers are located in the US so effectively this would mean that you’ll have to remember the ip-address of each site you visit, if they were shutdown. So this would probably mean to render it usesless…
Exactly, many forget that the internet, in its most basic form, is just many computers linked together. There is in reality nothing called “the internet”, it’s just a funky name for something like “mass terminal and hardware networking”.
There’s also another thing to consider here; profit – or rather, the lack of it. Every hour of business time lost turns no money. An entire day with the ISP blocking access to a company site means a serious downturn in economy.
ok, let’s try this… You pass a law that says that all ISPs in the US must have a switch in them, that switch is activated by a bigger switch on your desk. When you flip that switch, every ISP in the country now displays a “NO NET FOR YOU!” sign to everyone trying to connect.
The internet as a whole just keeps on truckin’, but fat lot of good that does you as no one in the US can actually connect to it. sucks to your assmar.
They can kill all DNS or they can Block the Main ATM networks. Internet is not magical. It relies Upon some serius infrastructure to manage All the trafic. So yes, they can go all dictator on you and take your internet acces away from you. Sad thing that the people is not protesting. If they needed a network for special military pourpuses they would build their own. This is just a way to keep the disinformation going. Sad thing that you people allow it. I would go and stop it myself with a few dragon kicks but Chuck Norris and I made a deal. I can’t go across the atlantic.
HAHAHAHA!! Bulls**t dude. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. That is not even how emergency broadcast works. Who the hell would believe this??
This is total fail. Why? Because you would have to shut down all the power in the US, due to private servers and networks. For people who don’t know how the net really works, you cant actually “turn off” the internet in America. They might be able to shut down some popular connections like Time Warner and Verizon, but for those who run their own s**t, you cannot kill that connection, unless you cut their power.
In the world of networking, we have servers called Tier 1′s. Those are where all of the internet-connected servers and computers connect to in the entire world. There are 10 on the planet, 6 of which are in the US (Qwest, Verizon Business, Sprint, NTT Communications, AT&T, and L3). It would actually be fairly feasable to accomplish.
Read the news before you talk please. Its a bill sponsored by Joe Lieberman that gives the president the option to control the internet in a national emergency. It has nothing to do with controlling the world. He’ll be given the optional power that China exercises on a daily basis – control of what sites can and cannot be accessed.
Um, isn’t that kinda… censorship? I dunno, just seems… a wee bit communist to me. And trust me. If such a thing happens, the hackers will kill it in five minutes. They are that boss.
This is actually a real thing, theyre puttin threw new legislature, if anything happens like some kind of mass cyber attack the internet will be cut off, but not as retarded as this guy puts it.
I heard he switched to a high-tech artificial latex skin, and that his muscles are now 90% Kevlar. Also, they switched his bones to aggregated diamond nanorods, which, as we all know, are the hardest substance in the known Universe. In effect, he is now completely indestructible.
Two bills introduced giving the President the power to deem a private network part of the nation’s critical infrastructure and shut it down for cybersecurity reasons also gives the Commerce Secretary the power to access network data outside of oversight.
Actually… the internet is the only place besides the newspaper (and that industry isn’t doing too well right now) that you can find news… sure there’s TV… but the News channels don’t say anything worth knowing (last time I watched the ‘news’ the biggest piece of ‘news’ they had was that a boy had lost his pet snail… and that’s it).
This is partially true. There’s not so much a literal switch, but there is a bill to give the president power to take control much of the internet for the US in a state of cyber emergency or other ‘national security’ reasons.
yes, bad things like cutting the information network for the “normal” people, killing the economy and so on, but who needs any of this…it’s the usa; they can and will do whatever they want, whenever they want it
#1. Certain types of industrial equipment, including power generators are vulnerable to hacking which can cause not only operation outages but equipment destruction.
#2 Chinese system critical hacking ability is freakishly advanced and due to the relativity low development cost of software it’s only a matter of years until every one of America’s enemies has the ability to cause potentially lethal industrial malfunctions via computer.
The internet allows access to the USA every bit as much as the Mexican border. It is hypocritical to demand defense on one and damn defense on the other.
It’s okay. I think the Mexican border thing is dumb too. Happy now?
More seriously though, that doesn’t require a kill switch. That requires making sure that mission critical infrastructure is effectively unhackable. The simplest way to do this is to just make sure that anything particularly dangerous requires human-in-the-loop authorization on-site. Done.
I find it rather dumb that the government should ask for a kill-switch in lieu of actually enforcing net security measures proposed by brilliant scholars on the subject. Especially since, if your security measures suck, somebody else could end up pressing your own kill switch.
Wonder why non of my posts showing that this fail failed is being moderated in?
“the the new act doesn’t create an Internet kill switch … because, technically, one already exists.”
Under the Communications Act of 1934, which was amended in 1996, the president can shut down any or all wireless communications available and control or close down “any or all facilities or stations for wire communication within the jurisdiction of the United States” during a period ending “not later than six months after the termination of such state or threat of war and not later than such earlier date as the Congress by concurrent resolution may designate.”
yeah, like, its totally like just a light switch in like one of his rooms right next to like all the other light switches…. he could like accidentally destroy everything!
“Under the Communications Act of 1934, which was amended in 1996, the president can shut down any or all wireless communications available and control or close down “any or all facilities or stations for wire communication within the jurisdiction of the United States” during a period ending “not later than six months after the termination of such state or threat of war and not later than such earlier date as the Congress by concurrent resolution may designate.”
So i guess the not so funny thing is that the information he quotes in the so called “fail” is from an actual news article that was reported back in late June. The Senate did pass a bill that would allow the President to turn off the internet during times of war. See it for yourself here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/25/internet-kill-switch-appr_n_625856.html
So fail on all you that are not informed enough to realize his statement was a joke.
Obama doesn’t have a switch, but theres a bill that would give him the power to turn off America’s access to the internet in the event of martial law, or a national emergency or something like that, for serious.
Jokes aside, this is TRUE. Obama is getting an “internet kill switch”. While it’s not a giant switch on the wall, it still forces all search engines and ISPs in the US to block their traffic.
its true. well not completely true, but joe lieberman has proposed a bill that would create a kill-switch for internet access in the entire US or just certain parts (and he referred to china’s ability to do so as an example) f**king scary, but im sure this wont become a reality.
There is a tiny kernel of truth in this. Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Tinfoil Hat) actually suggested this on Fox News Sunday (I think). It went nowhere, of course.
You should read the news Jim. Joe Lieberman is sponsoring a bill that gives the president the power to control the internet usage of the public in a national emergency. Your comment is ignorant, and you sir are as ignorant as the person who thinks its a giant switch.
“Earlier this month, it was reported that Lieberman and Sen. Susan Collins were prepping a bill that would allow the government to “take over” civilian network in an emergency. The news prompted many to dub this option an “Internet kill switch.”
On Sunday, Lieberman denied that this was the case, but said the government needed the option to shut down certain parts of the Web should they come under attack.”
There is actually a bill that was considered multiple times in different forms (I don’t know anything about its current status) that would give Obama the power to turn off the internet as an anti-terrorism measure. It shows basic misunderstanding of the world, but it’s true. This poster is still kind of an idiot though, a switch?
Scary thing is i have encountered people who think the entire Internet is owned and controlled by the US, as witnessed by the ‘legal threat’ I got from one twit who I banned from a forum who contacted me to say she was suing me for ‘violating freedom of speech’.
Funny bit was when I pointed out to her that I live in the UK, therefore don’t give a s**te about US laws. She maintains that the Internet is american, so I can be sued for ‘discriminating against her’.
Um, but this is actually partially true…there has been talk of creating some method of shutting the internet down in times of national emergency to clear bandwidth for emergency uses (now, please don’t ask me what those are or why it might be necessary – this was not *my* plan, I’m simply recounting what I read on CNN)
There was a bill introduced into Congress recently that would give the president the ability to shut the internet down if an attack were to occur. It has not passed yet, but the poster is correct Obama might receive the ability to turn off the internet.
Unfortunately, that fact someone official is demanding a reset button for the www is true. There’s been a mix-up, though. It’s the Federal Office of Criminal Investigation here in Germany, not a politician in the US. The man’s name is Klaus Jansen, and he means it. That’s not all he’s demanding, and so far, he’s being laughed at. Sorry the article is in German. I don’t know if a translation will appear; I wouldn’t want the world to know someone like that works for me, either:
There is a system for the president to interrupt all US radio frequencies in times of national emergency, and they actually are working on system to do something similar for the Internet. This person is a little confused, but I don’t think he/she made it up out of the air.
Ok, so actually this is kind of true. I say kind of, because it’s not about Obama specifically.
There was this important politician (I think he’s a senator or something) and he did make a suggestion that something be put in place so that the president of the US of A could shut down the Internet in the entire country.
The guy is Republican and absolutely did not have “let’s give lots of power to Obama in mind”. It was about the president of the USA having that power, regardless of who it is.
So this Internet Switch is a true thing, but I don’t know if it will ever get approved and created. I don’t even know it it’s technically possible to do it. And whoever came up with this idea needs to learn that the moral behind Terminator 3 isn’t “Internet and technology are evil” but rather “don’t give too much power to the ignorants in the government because they have no idea what they’re doing with it”.
And I think the best political system would be the Internet. Whatever that would be like.
Unfortunately, that fact someone official is demanding a reset button for the www is true. There’s been a mix-up, though. It’s the Federal Office of Criminal Investigation here in Germany, not a politician in the US. The man’s name is Klaus Jansen, and he means it. That’s not all he’s demanding, and so far, he’s being laughed at. Sorry the article is in German. I don’t know if a translation will appear; I wouldn’t want the world to know someone like that works for me, either:
The saddest thing about these comments and this failbook post is that they completely missed the bill that Joe Lieberman is trying to pass that gives the president the power to restrict internet access to both specific sites and general usage in the event of a national emergency. You joke about republicans being ignorant, and I agree many are, but the fact that you criticize before actually reading the news makes you as ignorant as they are. I hope this bill actually gets passed in the future just so you smug imbeciles get put in your place. Just a thought for you uneducated people.
What’s going on is that they would rather make fun of someone because something sounds too stupid to be true instead of letting others be informed that it is actually true. Very 1984-ish.
That would make two of us. There is a ‘kill switch’ being proposed, and proponents of the bill say this is only limiting the abilities that the white house already has.
I was actually pretty disappointed that happened. Though they finally approved it. I guess it got flagged as spam (laughable for sure, but I would imagine that would be the excuse).
“Without a definition of critical infrastructure there are concerns that “it includes elements of the Internet that Americans rely on every day to engage in free speech and to access information,” said the letter, signed by the Center for Democracy and Technology, the American Civil Liberties Union, the Electronic Frontier Foundation and other groups.”
okay, so the fact that the OP believed the stupidity of the on/off switch is pretty sad, but there is a flip side. I have to give them some points for asking the question; at least they were **trying** to think.
if there were to be an on/off switch (which we all know is ridiculous and someone’s lame attempt at humor) can you imagine what would happen if it got bumped, and turned off? yes, it would get turned back on. *rinse and repeat* we would all go nuts. kinda funny!
Actually, they are considering a switch that would allow Obama or any president ti turn off the internet in certain regions in case of cyber terrorism. Companies providing internet service would have to adhere to the rules that a new board would create.
It sounds to me like the person saw all these stories about a kill switch and decided to make a joke about it. The people who failed are all of you who had no idea this was a legit news story.
I agree with you! The real fail are the people who didn’t know this was going on. I guess they were all engrossed in their facebook accounts reality tv watching. No wonder we’re being taken like a bunch of ass-hats.
My guess is this poster is referring to a bill that would give the President emergency control of the internet. It was in the news…you can read about it here: http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-10320096-38.html
You can find a lot of articles about it if you search for them on Google. Even the media used the term ‘switch’. There may not literally be a single switch Obama could flip to turn off the internet, it’s just sort of a manner of speaking…or like an analogy for what the bill proposes.
Are you guys serious? You didn’t hear about Lieberman’s internet plan?
“Lieberman on Tuesday defended his proposal to grant the president far-reaching emergency powers to seize control of or shut down portions of the Internet.”
It’s been all over the news, just google “Lieberman” and “internet.”
While the poster is admittedly stupid, I can’t believe you guys were this unaware of it.
While he can’t shutdown the world, it would seriously disrupt the entire internet, anything hosted in the U.S. would be taken offline, unless approved by the Feds.
Every major banking system across the world would be disrupted, communications systems, etc.
In case you geniuses hadn’t noticed, there IS a bill before Congress about granting the President the power to, in effect, “flip the switch” on internet access within our borders (the idea behind this being a threat of terrorism, I gather). But nobody bothers to follow anything that matters in the news, we’d rather laugh at someone’s slightly misguided perception of a an actual news story.
Not a “kill switch” per se, Lieberman proposed a bill that would give the president authority to appoint a Director of Cyberspace Policy. The Director has power to regulate the internet lest the infrastructure of the internet become unstable and threaten a national meltdown, facilitate terrorism, or otherwise cause major problems.
There’s much more to it in the Protecting Cyberspace as a National Asset bill of 2010. Check it out
Actually, there was a bill proposed by that wackjob Joe Lieberman giving the President the power to shut off the internet for the USA, like Iran, Iraq, and North Korea have all done at one point, but it’ll never go through, for obvious reasons.
Obama actually is requesting a switch that can turn off the internet. I assume its not a literal switch… but still, I can understand how the person could get confused.
Yeah that’s what happens when 100 of the comments are pointing out that Failbook failed by mocking someone who posted about a true story, and then kept all those comments in moderation for half the day. Suddenly there are a ton of comments saying the same thing because they all got approved at the same time.
What’s really awesome about this post, is that when everyone leapt to point out that it’s TRUE, the links were actually from a dozen different sites! I’m very impressed at the variety of sources pulled by the Cheezburger community.
Yes, there are MANY National Inquirer-esque tabloid sources, that’s the beauty of freedom of the press! You can print anything from stories about bat-boy and his true love bigfoot to revelations about world leaders secretely being aliens! What’s even better is that these tend to be from the same sources and even when people say that one story is totally rediculous they’ll say that the other is true simply because it suite’s their needs.
And people wonder why foreigners think that our nation is mentally retarded. People believe that the National Inquirer is a valid source of news and when somebody who isn’t white gets elected to high office %46 of the population thinks the world is coming to an end.
Go back to the Ostrich times and put your head in the sand. I forgot that the government is run by saints now…your guy, the last guy, doesn’t matter.
This bill is supposed to limit Presidential authority, but every major news source states the wording is so vague as to be garbage. It does nothing but force companies to follow government based risk models…like they are the best judge of risk.
Hey facepalm, why don’t you actually look at some of the links? They are legitimate news sites, not National Inquirer. CBS, Fox News, Huffington Post, PC Magazine, Cnet – all legitimate. You’re looking ignorant by calling these sites on par with the National Inquirer.
Bear in mind, that this person probably doesn’t realise there is a world outside the USA, so cutting off ‘the internet’ would only affect Americans in their mind.
lol just lol
actually, the US just passed legislation past congress (not sure if has passed the senate yet) that would give the pres the ability to shut down all internet access in the US (not the world, just the US)… basically like how the Emergency Broadcast Signal works for TV/radio.
so not as fail as one may think.
Okay, the Senate is part of Congress. Senate and House of Representatives make up Congress. And I doubt any kind of legislation of that effect would ever pass and become law. Google pulled out of China because of the regulation of the internet in China, so why would be follow in their footsteps??
July 9, 2010 4:38 AM PDT
China renews Google’s Web site license
by Lance Whitney
Google announced Friday that the Chinese government has renewed its license to continue running its Web site in China.
The rocky relationship between Google and Beijing had cast doubt as to whether the license would be renewed. The tension became public in January when Google said it would cease censoring search results in China and also pointed a finger at Beijing as the source of cyberattacks on Google and other U.S. companies.
Seriously read the news too it may help in your next endeavors
Yah, which like… wouldn’t work. Because the internet is a distributed system, with no specific central coordination. There’s nothing to “turn off.” Unless one means every single server. The best you can do is ask the big ISPs to do their part and/or shut down some of the big fiber optics. Either way, there will still be internet- it will just be a little trickier to access.
well the root domain name servers are located in the US so effectively this would mean that you’ll have to remember the ip-address of each site you visit, if they were shutdown. So this would probably mean to render it usesless…
Exactly, many forget that the internet, in its most basic form, is just many computers linked together. There is in reality nothing called “the internet”, it’s just a funky name for something like “mass terminal and hardware networking”.
There’s also another thing to consider here; profit – or rather, the lack of it. Every hour of business time lost turns no money. An entire day with the ISP blocking access to a company site means a serious downturn in economy.
ok, let’s try this… You pass a law that says that all ISPs in the US must have a switch in them, that switch is activated by a bigger switch on your desk. When you flip that switch, every ISP in the country now displays a “NO NET FOR YOU!” sign to everyone trying to connect.
The internet as a whole just keeps on truckin’, but fat lot of good that does you as no one in the US can actually connect to it. sucks to your assmar.
that simplify things enough for you jim?
Dude! Seriously, check the news out before you post an “out your butt” opinion. It’s something that the government is working on.
They can kill all DNS or they can Block the Main ATM networks. Internet is not magical. It relies Upon some serius infrastructure to manage All the trafic. So yes, they can go all dictator on you and take your internet acces away from you. Sad thing that the people is not protesting. If they needed a network for special military pourpuses they would build their own. This is just a way to keep the disinformation going. Sad thing that you people allow it. I would go and stop it myself with a few dragon kicks but Chuck Norris and I made a deal. I can’t go across the atlantic.
HAHAHAHA!! Bulls**t dude. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. That is not even how emergency broadcast works. Who the hell would believe this??
This is total fail. Why? Because you would have to shut down all the power in the US, due to private servers and networks. For people who don’t know how the net really works, you cant actually “turn off” the internet in America. They might be able to shut down some popular connections like Time Warner and Verizon, but for those who run their own s**t, you cannot kill that connection, unless you cut their power.
Uh, yeah, you can, actually. Ever done a traceroute? How many places can you get to without going through AT&T, Sprint, or Verizon?
In the world of networking, we have servers called Tier 1′s. Those are where all of the internet-connected servers and computers connect to in the entire world. There are 10 on the planet, 6 of which are in the US (Qwest, Verizon Business, Sprint, NTT Communications, AT&T, and L3). It would actually be fairly feasable to accomplish.
lol @ the belief that Obama can control the world.
How dare you lol at Obamas power he will smight you for mocking him.
smite
*smite
*smite
hahaha spell check win.
indeed
Say no to a government ‘kill switch’ for the Internet
http://www.infoworld.com/d/the-industry-standard/say-no-government-kill-switch-the-internet-931
Lieberman Bill Gives Feds ‘Emergency’ Powers To Secure Civilian Nets
http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2010/06/lieberman-bill-gives-feds-emergency-powers-to-secure-civilian-net/
Read the news before you talk please. Its a bill sponsored by Joe Lieberman that gives the president the option to control the internet in a national emergency. It has nothing to do with controlling the world. He’ll be given the optional power that China exercises on a daily basis – control of what sites can and cannot be accessed.
Um, isn’t that kinda… censorship? I dunno, just seems… a wee bit communist to me. And trust me. If such a thing happens, the hackers will kill it in five minutes. They are that boss.
Untrue. They will not kill the switch. They will flip the switch and then laugh. And laugh and laugh.
If it was a software switch, then they might. But they’d be stupid to implement something like this in software… It’d need to be hard-wired.
I’m not sure why you seem to think China exercising this power on a daily basis makes it any more reasonable.
This is actually a real thing, theyre puttin threw new legislature, if anything happens like some kind of mass cyber attack the internet will be cut off, but not as retarded as this guy puts it.
Dumb american!
obsessed!
He can duh? He’s Barack Osama, he kills people
Isn’t his last name also Bin Laden?
And yup, Obama is easily changed to Osama
barack houssein obama? and im not even from the US.. LOL
*faceworld*
He’s also not a human, he’s a million spiders in a rubber human suit.
I heard he switched to a latex-Kevlar mix.
I heard he switched to a high-tech artificial latex skin, and that his muscles are now 90% Kevlar. Also, they switched his bones to aggregated diamond nanorods, which, as we all know, are the hardest substance in the known Universe. In effect, he is now completely indestructible.
He has a mangina too.
Well then. I suppose we should put him in a cage and use him to dam up the oil.
the idiocy. . .
http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-10320096-38.html
I think failbook needs to enter it’s own fail on this one.
http://www.webpronews.com/topnews/2009/04/07/bill-lets-obama-turn-off-the-internet
Two bills introduced giving the President the power to deem a private network part of the nation’s critical infrastructure and shut it down for cybersecurity reasons also gives the Commerce Secretary the power to access network data outside of oversight.
yes but its not the internet its the US connection to the internet they will never give anyone the power to shut down the worlds internet
To her shutting off the US internet IS shutting off the internet.
BTW were do you think most global servers are located?
i think the fail would be that this person thinks this power will come from a literal giant switch which could be mistakenly activated.
hmm.. i predict bad thiiiiings, if the switch does get buuuuumped
Yeah, people might actually step away from their computers and do something.
Actually… the internet is the only place besides the newspaper (and that industry isn’t doing too well right now) that you can find news… sure there’s TV… but the News channels don’t say anything worth knowing (last time I watched the ‘news’ the biggest piece of ‘news’ they had was that a boy had lost his pet snail… and that’s it).
While not a physical switch, this isn’t a complete fail, especially when it’s described as a ‘kill switch’:
http://thehill.com/blogs/hillicon-valley/technology/105377-senate-homeland-security-committee-approves-cybersecurity-bill-
It’s real people
http://www.tomshardware.com/news/obama-shut-down-internet-legislation,7478.html
If you google this you’ll see it’s an actual story.
This is partially true. There’s not so much a literal switch, but there is a bill to give the president power to take control much of the internet for the US in a state of cyber emergency or other ‘national security’ reasons.
http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-10320096-38.html
yes, bad things like cutting the information network for the “normal” people, killing the economy and so on, but who needs any of this…it’s the usa; they can and will do whatever they want, whenever they want it
OMG lol
*has Balira k1lled*
So Prince was right about the Internet being dead …
Win!
Good night, sweet internet.
To hell with that! DO NOT GO GENTLY INTO THE NIGHT!! FIGHT, FIGHT AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGH–
Actually, while Obama does have executive power to shut down the internet in the case of cyber terrorism, it isn’t so much a switch.
Not as crazy as it sounds. There won’t be a physical switch, but Joe Lieberman is pushing for this legislation to be passed.
“Right now China, the government, can disconnect parts of its Internet in case of war and we need to have that here too,”
I’D LIKE TO SHOW EVERYONE A COUPLE OF THINGS.
#1. Certain types of industrial equipment, including power generators are vulnerable to hacking which can cause not only operation outages but equipment destruction.
http://www.datacenterknowledge.com/archives/2007/09/27/can-your-generator-be-hacked/
#2 Chinese system critical hacking ability is freakishly advanced and due to the relativity low development cost of software it’s only a matter of years until every one of America’s enemies has the ability to cause potentially lethal industrial malfunctions via computer.
http://articles.latimes.com/2008/mar/04/world/fg-uschina4
The internet allows access to the USA every bit as much as the Mexican border. It is hypocritical to demand defense on one and damn defense on the other.
It’s okay. I think the Mexican border thing is dumb too. Happy now?
More seriously though, that doesn’t require a kill switch. That requires making sure that mission critical infrastructure is effectively unhackable. The simplest way to do this is to just make sure that anything particularly dangerous requires human-in-the-loop authorization on-site. Done.
I find it rather dumb that the government should ask for a kill-switch in lieu of actually enforcing net security measures proposed by brilliant scholars on the subject. Especially since, if your security measures suck, somebody else could end up pressing your own kill switch.
Wonder why non of my posts showing that this fail failed is being moderated in?
“the the new act doesn’t create an Internet kill switch … because, technically, one already exists.”
Under the Communications Act of 1934, which was amended in 1996, the president can shut down any or all wireless communications available and control or close down “any or all facilities or stations for wire communication within the jurisdiction of the United States” during a period ending “not later than six months after the termination of such state or threat of war and not later than such earlier date as the Congress by concurrent resolution may designate.”
http://www.mainstreet.com/article/smart-spending/technology/can-obama-turn-internet
So yes, Obama has a internet “kill switch”
Dumba$$
Well actually, he almost can: http://www.mainstreet.com/article/smart-spending/technology/can-obama-turn-internet
With this bill, all he has to do is send an order to major ISPs telling them to turn access off.
This actually is a real bill… It was passed in the senate a few weeks ago.
http://www.google.com/search?q=internet%20kill%20switch&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:unofficial&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbo=u&tbs=nws:1&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wn
Unfunny thing about this: Obama has like a switch to turn off the whole life on earth (starting continental rockets and stuff). No life, no internet…
yeah, like, its totally like just a light switch in like one of his rooms right next to like all the other light switches…. he could like accidentally destroy everything!
omiiigod like isn’t that like, terrible? i think i’m going to go cry in like, a corner now.
Don’t be so pedantic
That switch was installed in the Bush administration its next to the switch that turns the Jacuzzi on.
Stupid Americans.
It was Clinton that had the jacuzzi put in the Oval Office, so he wouldn’t have to stop not having sex to destroy the world.
Remember when he destroyed the world while having sex with seven women in 1995?
THAT WAS AWESOME!
For those who don’t keep up with the news:
Say no to a government ‘kill switch’ for the Internet
http://www.infoworld.com/d/the-industry-standard/say-no-government-kill-switch-the-internet-931
Lieberman Bill Gives Feds ‘Emergency’ Powers To Secure Civilian Nets
http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2010/06/lieberman-bill-gives-feds-emergency-powers-to-secure-civilian-net/
Both articles are at or nearly at a month old now. Current events fail for those on the Cheezburger Network.
The government has had such ability since 1996
“Under the Communications Act of 1934, which was amended in 1996, the president can shut down any or all wireless communications available and control or close down “any or all facilities or stations for wire communication within the jurisdiction of the United States” during a period ending “not later than six months after the termination of such state or threat of war and not later than such earlier date as the Congress by concurrent resolution may designate.”
http://www.mainstreet.com/article/smart-spending/technology/can-obama-turn-internet
Um…cyber security bills introduced in the Senate last year and last month had just this provision.
http://motherjones.com/politics/2009/04/should-obama-control-internet
http://thehill.com/blogs/hillicon-valley/technology/105377-senate-homeland-security-committee-approves-cybersecurity-bill-
The headline about “Onion News” is pretty ignorant.
ummmmm that’s all Joe Liberman’s idea not Obama’s, and he is actually trying to make it a reality
Isn’t this actually based on the Lieberman proposal?
http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-20007851-38.html
http://news.yahoo.com/s/zd/20100621/tc_zd/252028
Meaning, the fail is thinking someone could “bump” it?
I think that part was a joke.
So i guess the not so funny thing is that the information he quotes in the so called “fail” is from an actual news article that was reported back in late June. The Senate did pass a bill that would allow the President to turn off the internet during times of war. See it for yourself here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/25/internet-kill-switch-appr_n_625856.html
So fail on all you that are not informed enough to realize his statement was a joke.
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/08/28/senate-president-emergency-control-internet/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/17/internet-kill-switch-woul_n_615923.html
http://www.kypost.com/dpp/news/local_news/water_cooler/internet-%27kill-switch%27-proposed-for-president-ews-canvas-201006181276894103652
http://cbs4.com/local/internet.freedom.regulation.2.1757643.html
This is real guys. Check your sources before you go and make fun of ppl.
Obama doesn’t have a switch, but theres a bill that would give him the power to turn off America’s access to the internet in the event of martial law, or a national emergency or something like that, for serious.
http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-10320096-38.html
that’s the article
Jokes aside, this is TRUE. Obama is getting an “internet kill switch”. While it’s not a giant switch on the wall, it still forces all search engines and ISPs in the US to block their traffic.
Dear Failbook,
Do some basic research. This is factually true.
Dear jlh,
No.
its true. well not completely true, but joe lieberman has proposed a bill that would create a kill-switch for internet access in the entire US or just certain parts (and he referred to china’s ability to do so as an example) f**king scary, but im sure this wont become a reality.
There is a tiny kernel of truth in this. Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Tinfoil Hat) actually suggested this on Fox News Sunday (I think). It went nowhere, of course.
That facebook post is why it scares me that so many people are allowed to vote and reproduce. Stupidity breeds true.
I couldn’t agree more… even though that’s a little harsh. Some people can’t help it, like rape victims who can’t afford an abortion.
http://xkcd.com/603/
If the poster is being ironic you, Jimbo, should take a hard look at your own gonads.
You should read the news Jim. Joe Lieberman is sponsoring a bill that gives the president the power to control the internet usage of the public in a national emergency. Your comment is ignorant, and you sir are as ignorant as the person who thinks its a giant switch.
What they’re referring to is this: http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2365393,00.asp
“Earlier this month, it was reported that Lieberman and Sen. Susan Collins were prepping a bill that would allow the government to “take over” civilian network in an emergency. The news prompted many to dub this option an “Internet kill switch.”
On Sunday, Lieberman denied that this was the case, but said the government needed the option to shut down certain parts of the Web should they come under attack.”
Um… aside from the bumping into it part (which is probably a joke), this person isn’t really wrong : http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2010/07/internet_kill_s.html
It’s Lieberman and he only *wants* it, so it doesn’t actually exist but it is a thing:
http://gawker.com/5568260/joe-lieberman-only-sorta-wants-an-internet-kill-switch
There is actually a bill that was considered multiple times in different forms (I don’t know anything about its current status) that would give Obama the power to turn off the internet as an anti-terrorism measure. It shows basic misunderstanding of the world, but it’s true. This poster is still kind of an idiot though, a switch?
Actually, it’s a legitimate concern. The senate has already approved the cyber-security bill.
You people sure are quick to jump on someone…
(although i suppose the “giant” description is probably a bit imaginitive.)
You idiots know this is true, right?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/25/internet-kill-switch-appr_n_625856.html
Scary thing is i have encountered people who think the entire Internet is owned and controlled by the US, as witnessed by the ‘legal threat’ I got from one twit who I banned from a forum who contacted me to say she was suing me for ‘violating freedom of speech’.
Well there is ICANN. “Freedom of speech” is pretty limited. Try talking before Congress or just to your own Congressman.
Funny bit was when I pointed out to her that I live in the UK, therefore don’t give a s**te about US laws. She maintains that the Internet is american, so I can be sued for ‘discriminating against her’.
I laughed.
Nah, i think thats because most people dont think that the first amendment only applies to the Government
Um, but this is actually partially true…there has been talk of creating some method of shutting the internet down in times of national emergency to clear bandwidth for emergency uses (now, please don’t ask me what those are or why it might be necessary – this was not *my* plan, I’m simply recounting what I read on CNN)
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/03/18/obama-no-longer-internet-president/
There was a bill introduced into Congress recently that would give the president the ability to shut the internet down if an attack were to occur. It has not passed yet, but the poster is correct Obama might receive the ability to turn off the internet.
http://www.webpronews.com/topnews/2009/04/07/bill-lets-obama-turn-off-the-internet
http://www.tomshardware.com/news/obama-shut-down-internet-legislation,7478.html
http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-10320096-38.html
Internet ‘Kill Switch’ Approved By Senate Homeland Security Committee
Huffington Post
These are the people that voted for McCain people!
The crazies will really come out in 2012 when palin runs
… and hides in the Alaskan wilderness, only to be eaten by a bear, thus giving her life some actual significance.
http://news.techworld.com/security/3228198/obama-internet-kill-switch-plan-approved-by-us-senate/?olo=rss
It’s not fake. It’s still a terrible, terrible idea proposed and approved by people who have no idea how the internet works. But it’s definitely not fake.
Unfortunately, that fact someone official is demanding a reset button for the www is true. There’s been a mix-up, though. It’s the Federal Office of Criminal Investigation here in Germany, not a politician in the US. The man’s name is Klaus Jansen, and he means it. That’s not all he’s demanding, and so far, he’s being laughed at. Sorry the article is in German. I don’t know if a translation will appear; I wouldn’t want the world to know someone like that works for me, either:
http://www.spiegel.de/netzwelt/netzpolitik/0,1518,707144,00.html
http://news.techworld.com/security/3228198/obama-internet-kill-switch-plan-approved-by-us-senate/?olo=rss
I don’t see how that’s a fail, they were discussing letting obama have an internet kill switch…
There is a system for the president to interrupt all US radio frequencies in times of national emergency, and they actually are working on system to do something similar for the Internet. This person is a little confused, but I don’t think he/she made it up out of the air.
Ok, so actually this is kind of true. I say kind of, because it’s not about Obama specifically.
There was this important politician (I think he’s a senator or something) and he did make a suggestion that something be put in place so that the president of the US of A could shut down the Internet in the entire country.
The guy is Republican and absolutely did not have “let’s give lots of power to Obama in mind”. It was about the president of the USA having that power, regardless of who it is.
So this Internet Switch is a true thing, but I don’t know if it will ever get approved and created. I don’t even know it it’s technically possible to do it. And whoever came up with this idea needs to learn that the moral behind Terminator 3 isn’t “Internet and technology are evil” but rather “don’t give too much power to the ignorants in the government because they have no idea what they’re doing with it”.
And I think the best political system would be the Internet. Whatever that would be like.
Unfortunately, that fact someone official is demanding a reset button for the www is true. There’s been a mix-up, though. It’s the Federal Office of Criminal Investigation here in Germany, not a politician in the US. The man’s name is Klaus Jansen, and he means it. That’s not all he’s demanding, and so far, he’s being laughed at. Sorry the article is in German. I don’t know if a translation will appear; I wouldn’t want the world to know someone like that works for me, either:
http://www.spiegel.de/netzwelt/netzpolitik/0,1518,707144,00.html
The saddest thing about these comments and this failbook post is that they completely missed the bill that Joe Lieberman is trying to pass that gives the president the power to restrict internet access to both specific sites and general usage in the event of a national emergency. You joke about republicans being ignorant, and I agree many are, but the fact that you criticize before actually reading the news makes you as ignorant as they are. I hope this bill actually gets passed in the future just so you smug imbeciles get put in your place. Just a thought for you uneducated people.
What are you guys talking about?
That really happened.
http://news.techworld.com/security/3228198/obama-internet-kill-switch-plan-approved-by-us-senate-panel/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/25/internet-kill-switch-appr_n_625856.html
Failbook fail.
I just want to thank Cheezburger mods for putting my comment in a moderation queue because it makes the submission not so much of a fail. Way to go.
At least yours lands in a moderation queue. I’d be surprised if mine is allowed at all, I don’t know what’s going on.
What’s going on is that they would rather make fun of someone because something sounds too stupid to be true instead of letting others be informed that it is actually true. Very 1984-ish.
That would make two of us. There is a ‘kill switch’ being proposed, and proponents of the bill say this is only limiting the abilities that the white house already has.
I was actually pretty disappointed that happened. Though they finally approved it. I guess it got flagged as spam (laughable for sure, but I would imagine that would be the excuse).
“Without a definition of critical infrastructure there are concerns that “it includes elements of the Internet that Americans rely on every day to engage in free speech and to access information,” said the letter, signed by the Center for Democracy and Technology, the American Civil Liberties Union, the Electronic Frontier Foundation and other groups.”
This was reported by techworld.com— not The Onion. Here’s the link http://news.techworld.com/security/3228198/obama-internet-kill-switch-plan-approved-by-us-senate-panel/
They’ve had this power to cut off all telecommunications since the 40′s
okay, so the fact that the OP believed the stupidity of the on/off switch is pretty sad, but there is a flip side. I have to give them some points for asking the question; at least they were **trying** to think.
if there were to be an on/off switch (which we all know is ridiculous and someone’s lame attempt at humor) can you imagine what would happen if it got bumped, and turned off? yes, it would get turned back on. *rinse and repeat* we would all go nuts. kinda funny!
Actually, they are considering a switch that would allow Obama or any president ti turn off the internet in certain regions in case of cyber terrorism. Companies providing internet service would have to adhere to the rules that a new board would create.
http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2365709,00.asp
This was in the news a lot, not a fail at all: http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-20007418-38.html?tag=mncol;txt
It sounds to me like the person saw all these stories about a kill switch and decided to make a joke about it. The people who failed are all of you who had no idea this was a legit news story.
I agree with you! The real fail are the people who didn’t know this was going on. I guess they were all engrossed in their facebook accounts reality tv watching. No wonder we’re being taken like a bunch of ass-hats.
My guess is this poster is referring to a bill that would give the President emergency control of the internet. It was in the news…you can read about it here: http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-10320096-38.html
You can read about it here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1287695/Obama-given-right-shut-internet-kill-switch.html
And you can read about it here: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/08/28/senate-president-emergency-control-internet/
You can find a lot of articles about it if you search for them on Google. Even the media used the term ‘switch’. There may not literally be a single switch Obama could flip to turn off the internet, it’s just sort of a manner of speaking…or like an analogy for what the bill proposes.
This guy was right. Obama ‘Internet kill switch’ plan approved by US Senate panel: President could get power to turn off Internet
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/08/28/senate-president-emergency-control-internet/
http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2365709,00.asp
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/25/internet-kill-switch-appr_n_625856.html
http://cbs4.com/technology/internet.freedom.regulation.2.1774665.html
http://news.techworld.com/security/3228198/obama-internet-kill-switch-plan-approved-by-us-senate-panel/
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/opinions/view/opinion/Obamas-Internet-Kill-Switch-Good-Idea-or-Step-Too-Far-4046
Uh… This really is just a misinterpretation of a provision in an actual senate bill..
http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2365709,00.asp
Are you guys serious? You didn’t hear about Lieberman’s internet plan?
“Lieberman on Tuesday defended his proposal to grant the president far-reaching emergency powers to seize control of or shut down portions of the Internet.”
It’s been all over the news, just google “Lieberman” and “internet.”
While the poster is admittedly stupid, I can’t believe you guys were this unaware of it.
Probably heard it on FOX news. She’d be better off with reading the Onion for quality news.
You’d be better off educating yourself. This IS going on!
Maybe you all should keep up on the U.S. homeland security scene…
http://news.techworld.com/security/3228198/obama-internet-kill-switch-plan-approved-by-us-senate-panel/
While he can’t shutdown the world, it would seriously disrupt the entire internet, anything hosted in the U.S. would be taken offline, unless approved by the Feds.
Every major banking system across the world would be disrupted, communications systems, etc.
In case you geniuses hadn’t noticed, there IS a bill before Congress about granting the President the power to, in effect, “flip the switch” on internet access within our borders (the idea behind this being a threat of terrorism, I gather). But nobody bothers to follow anything that matters in the news, we’d rather laugh at someone’s slightly misguided perception of a an actual news story.
Not a “kill switch” per se, Lieberman proposed a bill that would give the president authority to appoint a Director of Cyberspace Policy. The Director has power to regulate the internet lest the infrastructure of the internet become unstable and threaten a national meltdown, facilitate terrorism, or otherwise cause major problems.
There’s much more to it in the Protecting Cyberspace as a National Asset bill of 2010. Check it out
http://hsgac.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?FuseAction=Files.View&FileStore_id=4ee63497-ca5b-4a4b-9bba-04b7f4cb0123
While the stupidity of that should be obvious, apparently some Senator doesn’t see it:
http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2010/07/internet_kill_s.html
Damn real world keeps ruining any attempt at satire.
Actually, there was a bill proposed by that wackjob Joe Lieberman giving the President the power to shut off the internet for the USA, like Iran, Iraq, and North Korea have all done at one point, but it’ll never go through, for obvious reasons.
Also, Joe Lieberman is a nut.
Obama actually is requesting a switch that can turn off the internet. I assume its not a literal switch… but still, I can understand how the person could get confused.
118 comments and almost every one of them says “ZOMG Internet switch is teh real!” Redundancy much, people?
Yeah that’s what happens when 100 of the comments are pointing out that Failbook failed by mocking someone who posted about a true story, and then kept all those comments in moderation for half the day. Suddenly there are a ton of comments saying the same thing because they all got approved at the same time.
That’s what you get when you elect a socialist / communist to power. Lets hope that he allows you to vote again ever!
After 8 years of having a baboon as president, anything is pretty much an improvement.
Seriously, though, socialist/communist? Are you even aware of what that means?
So who is going to screenshot this thread and post it to faillbook to see if they post their own fail?
failbook fail. You’re supposed to be making fun of ignorant people, not being ignorant yourselves.
Hey! The Onion IS quality news.
What’s really awesome about this post, is that when everyone leapt to point out that it’s TRUE, the links were actually from a dozen different sites! I’m very impressed at the variety of sources pulled by the Cheezburger community.
Yes, there are MANY National Inquirer-esque tabloid sources, that’s the beauty of freedom of the press! You can print anything from stories about bat-boy and his true love bigfoot to revelations about world leaders secretely being aliens! What’s even better is that these tend to be from the same sources and even when people say that one story is totally rediculous they’ll say that the other is true simply because it suite’s their needs.
And people wonder why foreigners think that our nation is mentally retarded. People believe that the National Inquirer is a valid source of news and when somebody who isn’t white gets elected to high office %46 of the population thinks the world is coming to an end.
Go back to the Ostrich times and put your head in the sand. I forgot that the government is run by saints now…your guy, the last guy, doesn’t matter.
This bill is supposed to limit Presidential authority, but every major news source states the wording is so vague as to be garbage. It does nothing but force companies to follow government based risk models…like they are the best judge of risk.
Hey facepalm, why don’t you actually look at some of the links? They are legitimate news sites, not National Inquirer. CBS, Fox News, Huffington Post, PC Magazine, Cnet – all legitimate. You’re looking ignorant by calling these sites on par with the National Inquirer.
I think this person and the white corn/white chicken person need to hang out…
Yes, and don’t type “Google” in Google because you might break the Internet
What if he “drop’s it like its hot”… you know, cause he’s black.
thats not a fail retard, they actually want that to happen, idiots
Bear in mind, that this person probably doesn’t realise there is a world outside the USA, so cutting off ‘the internet’ would only affect Americans in their mind.
Everyone who thinks it is not possible to shut down the internet has failed. Thanks for supplying the humor for the day.