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Now You’re Cooking With The Empire [WIN]


Funny Facebook Fails

Submitted by: Ruy Lopez via Submission Page

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  1. MaskMan131 says:

    Ya know, Vader biscuits DO make sence. There the over-baked biscuits… here on the Dark side… :D

  2. Rebeka says:

    hahaha. this is amazing!

  3. tom says:

    how the fuck is this a win??

  4. josetta wowwee says:

    Do they serve imperial breakfasts?

  5. rachel says:

    Never have I ever wanted such awesome friends. This is one lucky guy

  6. Shooped says:

    It’s a frap!

  7. matt d says:

    pure genius!

  8. Meghan says:

    Ahh finally, a failbook that does not involve stupid people. And it has Star Wars. Def. win!!!

    • anonymous says:

      But the lack of stupid people makes this less of a fail…
      This is damn funny, though, I have to admit. Is there a site for just funny but non-stupid things on FB? Or maybe like winbook/awesomebook?

      • Meghan says:

        That’s why it’s not really a fail, no stupid people, and STAR WARS! I wish there were a winbook, I’d never visit failbook again.

        • Motherfailer says:

          Probably thats why there isnt a winbook ;d

        • Drizzt says:

          True, but then it would quickly turn into another Failbook because people would put stupid entries on there thinking it is a win…

        • noe says:

          actually it is a fail
          becuz those guys fail in life
          they dont have girlfriends or friends

          • lurker says:

            “HURR THEY TALK ABOUT STAR WARS AND MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT SO THEY MUST BE NERDS WITHOUT LIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS OR FRIENDS.”

            Way to judge people you have never met based on a single instance. Yeah, they’re talking about Star Wars, but guess what? They’re being funny about it. A sense of humor is more likely to win you friends than being some prick who goes around thinking he’s “the shit” because he mocks other people and acts like a tough guy. I’m pretty sure that they have friends, too, since they’re posting on each other’s Facebook. Oh, and for God’s sake, learn proper punctuation, spelling, capitalization, and just grammar in general. The only person who is a failure is you, for being a presumptuous, prejudiced douchebag who doesn’t know grammar, punctuation, or spelling.

          • Keiran says:

            Idgaff, its still win. End of.

          • MrSkinner says:

            @noe…..you really should just give up this pathetic diatribe. You are obviously in the minority opinion-wise here. Is it possible that YOU are the one who can’t get a girlfriend or boyfriend?

          • Xenon says:

            [citation needed]

          • The Amazing Rando says:

            WTF is your pure hatred of Star Wars about? Show us on the doll where the wookiee touched you.
            BTW, Star Wars makes a person a loser, but trolling on Failbook gets you the chicks right?

      • Rainbow says:

        note the slogan: “TOO FUNNY TO UNFRIEND”.

  9. BugBasher666 says:

    I’ll have the Luke Skywaffle!

  10. Confuzzled says:

    These aren’t the recipes i’m looking for…

  11. They spelled wookiee wrong. It’s ok though. Very few people know there’s two e’s in wookiee.

  12. And, very little pollocks know grammar.

    • Abbey Scott says:

      Ok, rapeandsubscribe:
      I think you meant to say “very few pollocks.” Also, pollock is a fish.

      I’m not insulted; I just wanted to clarify your statement.

      My grandmother was Polish, by the way.

  13. JaJaJaJa says:

    @BugBasher666
    Best one I have EVER read. You’re awesome :D :D

  14. meee says:

    lol!!!! and the good part is that it isnt fake cuz it doesnt have the option to delete any comments

  15. Coheed17 says:

    “those aren’t the biscuits I would be looking for”
    That comment is so full of win that I’m not really sure what to say about it.

  16. 17-A says:

    What?! You’re all out of Corellian Roast?
    …Okay, fine. I’ll have a Hoth Chocolate.

  17. Monkey D. Luffy says:

    Pure Awesome
    Lucky Bastard has such awesome friends
    So hard to find good friends with star wars sense of humour really

    STAR WARS 4 EVER

    • noe says:

      U SUCK :D
      AND YOU WIN AT SUCKING :D

      • Xenon says:

        No need to tell everyone what your boyfriend said. Some things really ought to be kept private.

        • ninjawhale says:

          oh hes gunna need ice for that burn

          • Rainbow says:

            how much? a glacier? for him…yes.

            • mongonerd says:

              Maybe we can send him to Hoth!

              • Lexira says:

                With any luck, he’ll end up in the belly of an alien beast without the aid of a lightsabre.

                • noe says:

                  wait wth is Hoth?

                  • Xenon says:

                    Aww, the itty bitty troll returns. Here’s a hint, noe. Before you go around blasting something for being crap, why don’t you try to learn something about it (in this case, the movies) before you whinge about the franchise.

                    • Candy says:

                      yeah BUUUUUUUUUURN
                      but idk either
                      what is hoth?

                      • Xenon the Person Who Watches Lots of Films says:

                        Hoth is an ice planet in Star Wars. According to Wookieepedia, it’s surface is entirely an ocean and that froze to form a crust of ice around the entire planet. The average temperature is -60 C (-76 F).

                        • Candy says:

                          ohhhhhhhhhhhh thats friking cuel
                          i looooooooooooooove cold
                          once i drank a slushie or ice wut wuz it???
                          anyways it hurt sooo much
                          but wuz pretty fun

                    • Snooks says:

                      u know wuts funny
                      maybe he dusnt like star wars
                      thats his opinion that dusnt mean its a bad movie there are alot of haters of that movie i dont like ti
                      but im not going araound saying “yeah those geeks that watch star wars are lame” or something like that
                      but if u think he is stupid or he is not right dont answer him and thats all

                      also i love all the food

  18. When you leave you can pick up an imperial mint.

  19. xiggie says:

    do they have early toydarian specials?

  20. Kelsie says:

    Cooked on an eWOK.

  21. rshudson82 says:

    This was, by far, the coolest thing I’ve ever seen on failbook. Ever.

  22. abbey Scott says:

    Do they serve Princess Leia’s chocolate covered cinnamon rolls?

  23. HoboCore says:

    I’m amazed no one has said “Darth Taters” yet

  24. Ha! says:

    Yeah, can I gat a Qui-Gon Jinn and tonic, an Emperor Palatini and th Han Solo Malt wiskey please.

  25. Zaw says:

    Should be Obi-Won Con Kobe

  26. Stueymon says:

    Cant believe no one has done this yet..

    *ahem*

    ITS A TRAP!!

  27. Short one says:

    Do they have any Thai Bomber Stir Fry?

  28. Meghan says:

    I was thinking of a Plate of Wookiee Cookies with a Glass of Yoda Soda.

  29. Dreadful pun fairy says:

    ARGGGGHH! *clonk clonk clonk clonk clonk clonk clonk clonk *

  30. jinxed says:

    You want this, don’t you? *Uncovers a cherry danish*

  31. Mark E. DeSade says:

    I find their lack of crepes disturbing.

  32. randomnerd says:

    Do they serve Chinese food? ‘Cause if they do, I’ll have the Sky-Wok-er Stir Fry.

  33. Awesomeman says:

    The force is strong in this one.

  34. April says:

    I want all these people to be my FB friends!!!!! THEY ROCK!!!

  35. Sbdude says:

    yea i would like a skywaffer sandwich and a solo shake

  36. Josh Mather says:

    I’ll have the Princess Fi-Leia Fish.

  37. I would totally eat there! Someone should open this place! They’ve got the menu right here and they would make a *killing*!!

  38. Yuki says:

    whip, whip, stir. Whip, whip, stir… That’s all I have to say.

  39. Cindy says:

    Butter Coruscants anyone??

  40. RiceMan says:

    the next big brand of bottled water:

    “skywater”

  41. Scruffy-lookin' Nerf Herder says:

    As a Star Wars fan who can appreciate this, I say it is definately a win.

    Plus, I love reading the comments to something like this, because you know someone will follow up on it and come up with something that isn’t there already. So, all of you who have made me laugh by continueing the Star Wars win above? I applaud you. You made me laugh my ass off.

  42. Denny Dzul says:

    Darth Vadeh (vadeh is a sort of spicy Indian bun btw … it’s nice too).

  43. syk says:

    Wonder if they Sell Darth chocolate cake

  44. Father Hinn says:

    Fried Mon Calamari.

  45. !? says:

    Yeah, can i get a side order of Garlic Chewbatta?

  46. Ark says:

    I’d have the Gungan sub.

  47. JewGroupie37 says:

    Jesus Murphy! This is the best thing I’ve ever read on failbook. Epic win! I could not have laughed harder.
    Also, so glad people took the time out to bash people for enjoying Star Wars. Good use of your time.

    Lastly…to reference something else; “You’ll need a tray”

  48. Lollipop says:

    in north riverside/berwyn Illinois there was a restaruant called jedi’s garden…. now sadly it has gone the way of the franchise. its called ya-ya cafe… and is not 24 hours. balls…

  49. Darth Vada says:

    What surprises me is how many of this guy’s friends are Star Wars fans…I guess I am not a real American…because most of the allusions just went over my head!

  50. Boba Fett says:

    Do you have Boba Feta Cheese?!

  51. Nobody666 says:

    Whatever you do, don’t order the Jar Jar Binks Surprise Specialty Platter. Your head and stomach will regret it for days.

  52. lol... says:

    DARTH MALT LMAO. ham solo, java teh hutt, wookie burger, obi wan ton soup…

  53. pix says:

    I’ll take a Dooku Doughnut with a side of Death Star Fruit please and thank-you.

  54. Noodle says:

    We highly recommend Potato Wedge Antilles with Dune Sea salt and the Salacious Crumbcake for dessert.

  55. Camper51 says:

    Don’t forget your Trooper Truffles with your Vader Biscuits!

  56. Jahzzie says:

    Ya know, a friend of mine heard this place wasn’t vegan, so Ewok’d out.
    Off to the Dark Side Cafe, They have cookies.

  57. Mara says:

    The last one is my favorite.

  58. Boykes says:

    For what I read in those lines above me. I’d only say: Noe fails life. And the rest are just pure owners and good thinkers ;)

  59. Alaiis says:

    I think I would like the Bantha Patty on a bun, with some Tuskan Raider Taters.

  60. Alaiis says:

    Or maybe the Sarlaac Salad to start, followed by the Padawan Thai.

  61. The Crapture says:

    R2-Decaf … Womp-Ratatouille…and, for breakfast, a bowl of C3-P-Oh’s in blue milk (It’s fluent in over six million forms of crunch!)

  62. flanyl says:

    HA! This is the greatest! My daughter would say that Noe needs to fall in a hole and die, but I love how everyone here who has responded directly to him has put the mindless hater in his place.

  63. Darren says:

    Seriously no Wookie Cookies or even slow cooked sith?

  64. Jer says:

    I wonder if they serve Chewbaklava

  65. Hunter[NIU]™ says:

    They forgot the Bib Fortuna Melt

    /credited to boydtl

  66. SonicGTR says:

    I’m still more partial to Pizza the Hutt.

  67. BadgerFan says:

    And for dessert they have either Darth by Chocolate cake or Chocolate Chip Wookiees….

  68. dfsa says:

    MMMM Fried Mon Calamari

  69. Deffo not on Drugs says:

    DON’T GO TO THE BOBA CAFÉ!!!

    IT’S A TRAP!!

    • Totally awesome win says:

      YESSSS
      Maybe you’d prefer Admiral Ackbar Cereal at home instead?
      Your tongue can’t repel flavor of that magnitude!

  70. madlowe1 says:

    Hey, can I get that Luke Skywaffle mentioned, with a side of Lando-Lakes butter?

  71. R!SK says:

    Fun Fact: Java the Hutt is a small, but real coffee shop. I saw one in the Lucas Arts studio I visited. X3

  72. Toupe454 says:

    Don’t forget Darth Tater Tots

  73. Victoria_BaynesDT says:

    That all sounds delicious, but I’ve been really curious about the Rakata Prime Ribs.. I heard they’re out of this world! :D

  74. emtzalex says:

    Today’s specials:

    Tatooine-a Melt
    Dagobahrley Soup
    Tuna Tar Tarkin
    Chicken Endors
    Greedoughnuts

  75. drinking a diet yoda, I will.

  76. This thread really doesn’t belong on Failbooking! To me, this a WIN! Nonetheless, props are in order for the website delivering us this little gem of humor, as well as to all those creative people for applying the clever use of puns to one of the few worthy topics! Bravo.

  77. shannon says:

    XD WIN

  78. djfrost says:

    Apple Pie-walker. A la mode, of course.

  79. Jessica says:

    OMG this is awesome not only did i laugh till my sides hurt but now i am hungry!!

    And just in case the chewbacklava is to high in calories for you, you can also order its low fat alternative Lowbacclava!

  80. squiddy says:

    May the force b-meñu…

  81. charles says:

    And some princess lay’s cinnamon buns?

  82. Brendan Richards says:

    A long time ago in a restaurant, far, far away…

  83. Jayne says:

    This made my day. :D These people are brilliant!
    And then I found this:
    http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/starwars/b322/
    The Star Wars cookbook… for real… Boba Fett-uccine, anyone?

  84. ... says:

    They should have had “E-Wok fried rice”!

  85. And for dessert…That’s No Moon Pie!

  86. Or an Obi-Wan Canoli…did someone say that already?

  87. Jen says:

    Attack of the scones? Hoth Cross Buns?

  88. Olivia says:

    This is not a fail–an epic win lol =P

  89. Peter says:

    Anybody up for a Milk Shaak-Ti?

  90. Evanne says:

    I’d like a serving of Apple-Pie fighters, please. And also, some Twin Sun toast, and a bowl of Sidious soup.

  91. Totally awesome win says:

    What about Padmé Thai?

  92. Aunt Beru says:

    Actually, my fav is Aunt Beru’s blue shake – blueberry of course.
    Yum! :-P

  93. koala bear says:

    Darth taters?

  94. I like tattoos says:

    It’s a trap!

  95. jjj says:

    Good lord, it’s a f**king virgin convention.

  96. Wedjet says:

    This blog rocks… as do most of the comments. May the forks be with you all.

  97. rob says:

    haha i love people who think everyone who watched star wars is a loser when in reality its one of the largest movies of all time and has a large fan base not just the obsessive guys that have no life but lots of normal and even attractive people can like the film as well. and i love you all for the space balls reference haha. please keep commenting haters even though many normal well adjusted people would disagree with you its funny to see people who are ignorant act like they’re better than anyone else. and cant have buffalo x-wings without forceraddish sauce yes i know it was bad haha

  98. Alermaks says:

    wookiee-ookiee cookieeees

  99. Jonny says:

    guys you are all brilliant you have made my day
    but also could i have a jedi jumbo burger, a chew-coffee and a coke jedi light
    oh and how about visiting kentuky fried chewbacca

  100. Jonny says:

    zomg how could me and all of you hav missed this
    :Jabba Cakes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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