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Turbo Beer Puns, GO!

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  1. nick says:

    First FTW

  2. Mick McMickerson… PMSL.

  3. Jon Evans says:

    Funny as my millimeter peter…oh wait :( (((

  4. Sam says:

    Guiness is a stout.

    • Beerxpert says:

      there are three types of alcoholic beverages which are:
      Beer-is separated mainly into two divisions; Ale and Lager, Whilst Ale is separated into pale ale, stout(which is what Guinness is), and etc.

      Spirits; Liqueur

      Wines

  5. Stosh says:

    Did you mean “Barley escape with your life”?
    Ooh. failbooking moderator fail!

  6. Rockdio says:

    BaZING

  7. MrPink says:

    Guiness is stout not beer, they both fail.

  8. David says:

    FAIL. Guinness is not a beer, and there is no Irish person on the planet who talks like that.

  9. ThatGuy says:

    Sounds like a Pirate to me…

  10. SuperExtraBonus says:

    Guinness*

  11. Stephen says:

    First of all, it’s Guinness, not Guiness. And second, Ireland doesn’t have a Prime Minisiter, it has a Taoiseach. Third of all, it is a neutral country and incredibly unlikely to ever declare war. Fourth of all, the Taoiseach’s name is Brian Cowan, who, might I add is a jerk. And finally, you’re and eejit for thinking that the Irish talk like that.

  12. starling says:

    The Oirish prime minister* is a Scot? :P

    *Taoiseach

    • HvsL says:

      Contrary to popular belief, Mc is not exclusively Scottish, nor Mac exclusively Irish. Now I wish I had a better reference than a discussion at the Local Irish fesitval (which was in fact, run by a genuine Irishman), but being as the people I talked to were, in fact genuinely Irish, I’d be inclined to take their word.
      Also: Stout is a subcategory of ale, so yes, it’s a beer.
      also the main factory burnt down a few months ago : ( dunno if they’ve fixed it up yet.

      • Moran says:

        Well mac is Irish for son, and the same in Scots Gaelic. Since scots Gaelic is derived from Old Irish (12th c. A.D.), it’s no wonder they have the same word. Modern day Scots Gaelic is very close to the northern dialect of Irish.
        Historically though, the Irish had it first ^^

      • jhvhtd says:

        the factory didnt burn down, there was a small fire in the bottling section.

        is no one else offended by the ridiculous oirishness, stupid film leap year perpetuating oirishness at its worse

  13. J.Smith says:

    Regardless of where Guiness is manufactured, it is owned by an English company. Check it out…

    • AAAAA says:

      THANK YOU! I was getting bugged that no one had mentioned this.

    • Anita says:

      Who cares if it’s owned by Diagio, as it was in the begining, is now and ever shall be Irish. In Ireland at least. It’s different in other countries…

  14. Guinness says:

    Guinness is Stout, dry Stout.

  15. Surprise says:

    “Aye so ya be wanting to fight o’er ear beer do ya?” Is the Irish “prime minister” also supposed to be a pirate?

  16. Cillean says:

    Guinness is actually Stout.

  17. cao says:

    Fail.Guinness isn’t a beer as david said.It’s an irish stout.

  18. Fail says:

    Guinness is owned by a British Company now. Double fail.

  19. eily says:

    Guinness is not beer – it’s stout :S

  20. vaykay says:

    actually, Guiness is own by an English company. so it is an Irish-style beer, but English. :(

    • Luke says:

      That would be the Irish drink originally and still brewed in St. James Gate, Dublin, yes the company is owned by Diageo but they also own Smirnoff Vodka does that make it english? thought not

  21. Holleh says:

    Guinness is a stout, or a dark ale. Which is loosely considered a beer.
    But it’s a stout.
    Which is better than a stoat. No one wants a weasel-like mammal in their beverage.
    Or so I’m told.

  22. Blaaaah says:

    Ugh that’s just annoying when people call the Taoiseach the Prime Minister -.- This wasn’t funny at all :/

  23. Erik says:

    Fact of the Day: Guinness is based in England.

  24. vina says:

    fails all round here…….
    stout,not beer
    taoiseach Brian Cowen aka greatest bollox in the country,not prime minister
    who the fuck talks anything like that anywhere in the world??!??!?!
    german??????WTF?????
    as an irish person(from ireland,not some septic”my greatx50 grandfather’s barber was half irish so i am too!!!”)this is such a double-facepalm moment.You have ruined my week….

  25. >_ says:

    Hey, did you know that Guinness is a Stout, not a beer?
    And the “prime minister” of Ireland is actually a jerk whose real title is “Taoiseach”?
    Oh! And Guinness is actually a British company, but was founded by an Irish man?
    Do people ever read the comment section, or just hurry to leave their comment so they can sound intelligent and live immortally in the archives of cyberspace?

  26. Caitlin says:

    So… I’m not sure the comments made it clear enough. Is Guinness stout?

  27. Alyssa says:

    So, instead of yelling, can we laugh at the little idea here. I thought despite inconsistencies, it was humorous.

    Good god some people need a slap in the face.

  28. Dayison says:

    Actually, a stout is a beer. Beer is an over-arching term for many different kinds of brewed alcoholic beverages.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer

    And I have to agree with Alyssa here. Some of you take things WAY too seriously. It was an attempt at humor and that is all. I’m sure the posting individual had no desire to offend anyone, be it Irish or pirate.

    • Alyssa says:

      I was like THANK YOU for most of that comment. Then I died laughing at “Be it Irish or pirate”

    • beerme! says:

      I agree with the concept, stout is a beer, like ale is a beer. you go to a bar, do you say “Hand me an ale?” No. You say “gimme a f-ckin beer.”

      I don’t agree with using wiki as a credible source. Using wiki as a source is like using plastic wrap as a rubber, sure it’s semi functional, but hardly reliable.

    • WorldsTallestMidget says:

      Umm… did you just attempt to use Wikipedia as a credible source to back your statement up?

      ::extended laughing facepalm::

      You fail.

  29. memememe says:

    I’m pretty sure Guinness is British, not Irish.

    • *facepalm* says:

      Guinness, as stated above, is brewed in Ireland and was founded by an Irish man. Over here it’s pretty much the national drink, the oldies favorite in the pubs. The company who used to make it may have been bought out by an English company, but this does not change the fact that it is Irish.

      I’ll put it this way.
      If you’re born in a country, depending on certain laws, you are usually deemed a citizen of that country. Even if your parents are from another country (Well that’s the way it is here anywho).
      We on the same page?

      Ps. Here is Ireland.

      Pps. Would everyone quit on about the beer thing! Seriously, stout is a subclass of beer and Guinness is an instance of the class stout.

      • vegeguinness says:

        Actually, wouldn’t it be more akin to you being born in a country, then changing your citizenship to that of another country?

        Like Kraft owning Vegemite…

  30. Jeff says:

    I want to be offended, but this is a pretty damn good burn. President name, pretty good though.
    I’m from belfast, Ireland, btw..

    • Don't have a paddy says:

      Wow, you’re right, the ignorant Irishman label is outdated. Is it okay to call you an unfunny arsehole instead?

    • Jeff says:

      And thanks Adrian, I’m well aware of that. There are Assclowns like him everywhere and I have no doubt that him being a tool is nothing to do with nationality, more to do with him simply being a tool

  31. Matteus says:

    I can’t believe how many people don’t realize that stout is a style of beer. Ale and Lager are the two types of beer and Stout is an ale. I see more fails in the comments than I’ve ever seen.
    http://i.imgur.com/fmyE5.png
    Being a beer aficionado that had faith that people were learning more about beer these days it makes me sad. :-(

    • zem says:

      Oh my god, you (and Dayison earlier) commented JUST in time! I was starting to be convinced that I had just straight-up imagined the entire concept of classification.

  32. Jamie says:

    Its a stout u cunt
    Technicality FAIL

    • Matteus says:

      FAIL! Technically it’s a Beer. Brewed with ale yeast and Stout malts. This is friggin’ crazy that people don’t understand this. Or at least look it up. click the taxonomy chart I posted.

  33. Rach says:

    Guys – GUINNESS IS NOT BEER! It’s Lager. But you Americans probably don’t really know what that is ;) and It most definately is Irish. Wiki it!

  34. Willow says:

    Witty, but fails because Guinness is not beer.

  35. So after reading all the comments I am still stumped. Is Guiness stout? A beer? An ale? A Lager? A who-the-hell-cares?

    It’s a JOKE people! Lighten up!

    • Matteus says:

      Obviously, I do. The reason I care is because it’s ludicrous to say that Guinness is not a beer. That’s like saying “It’s Cabernet Sauvignon, not wine. FTW!”
      Guinness is a Stout, which is a style of ale, which is a style of beer.

      • David says:

        Actually, it’s a type of porter, which isn’t ale.

        • nate says:

          there are but two types of beer in the world: Lagers and Ales. (unless you count lambics, totally different animal) Under the “ale” umbrella are located stouts, also known as porters.

      • Keith says:

        So I screwed up with the Guinness is not beer comment. I consider myself re-educated. Guinness is stout, which is a type of ale, which is a beer. The important thing to remember, though is that Guinness is good for you. Thanks for fighting for the good cause of beer education, Matteus. Cheers!

  36. Mick McMickerson says:

    i live behind the Guinness factory it is now owned by a British company Diegeo but the Guinness family are still shareholders within the company and its still brewed here in Dublin…

    all the same it was a funny failbook =)

  37. nate says:

    beer-produced by the brewing and fermentation of starches, mainly derived from cereal grains

    guinness-A distinctive feature is the burnt flavour which is derived from the use of roasted barley.

    look anywhere past he first word on the guinness wiki page and learn something today.

  38. Chris Havill says:

    Guiness was first made in london, england, it later moved to ireland.

    It’s English, always was, always will be.

    • It was in me hole says:

      Wrong. Jingoism FAIL.

      Porter was first brewed in London, not by the Guinness company (notice the spelling).
      Guinness is a type of porter, founded in Dublin.

  39. i am sick of this... says:

    cant anyone just have some good, clean, fun mocking a culture? why do we have to have more than 70 comments about what it really is? hey, i dont care wheather its beer ale or logger. thats some funny s***.

  40. Pissed off Irishman says:

    wow here’s another fine example of American ignorance, Ireland doesn’t have a prime minister its called Taoiseach and Guinness isn’t a beer, for a country that loves to stereotype here is Americas:

    Fat (and not just over weight I’m talking OMG did something escape from sea world? and who made it a shirt out of a bed sheet?)

    and stupid, maybe stupid isn’t strong enough, I think retarded fits the bill better.

    STOP TAKING CARTOONS AS FACT YOU FAT FUCKING MORONS

    and a big thanks to all those who posted comments stating Guinness is not a beer but this shit pissed me off so I just couldn’t be bothered to read most of them, I had to get my two cents in here.

  41. required says:

    oh oh oh oh, just because it has not been said enough, and that I feel the unneccesary need to repeat what a lot of peoople have sad hundreds of times before me.

    Guinness is a stout ….. which is a catagory of beer…….which is irish but owned by the british ……… and he is not prime minister he is the taoiseach …… earth is the third planet from the sun ……. cats have four knees ……. i am a human …….. the earth is not flat …….. people smell like pork when they burn ……. Ireland is west and east of the US (only because if I head west, eventually I will make it to Ireland) ….. did I miss any repeated facts?

  42. Mervyn says:

    Fail, there’s no Prime Minister in Ireland. We have a Taoiseach and his name is Brian Cowen. And Ireland is generally a peaceful nation. :D

  43. Ummm... says:

    You’re all nucking futs!!!

  44. Bill says:

    I have a permanent red mark from facepalming so many times after reading these comments. I notice how nobody ever said “Guinness isn’t beer it’s draught, see the label says Guinness Draught!” Anyways, Matteus, you rock, now I’m off to drink my delicious double chocolate porter that I brewed the other day, it’s not beer though since it’s a porter.

    • will says:

      well done nob end, “Draught” refers to how it is served, a pint on draught means it was served from a pump at the bar and not out of a bottle or can

      But still great to see how people will just weigh in with a comment when they’re clueless shitheads

  45. beerme! says:

    Beer puns:
    Everyone on this comment board “hopps” to conlcusions.
    “Barley” anyone can agree.
    Some people on this board are just flat out “beasts” (+5 if you get the reference)

    • A year late says:

      I’m going to guess this is a Milwaukee’s Best reference. The comments for this may be dead and gone, but I’m here and I’m drinking.

  46. KittyMarie says:

    We do all know Guiness is a Stout, right?

  47. Heather says:

    Too bad they spelled Guinness wrong.`

  48. Tosh says:

    ugh, such a fail for both of them
    guinness is stout
    and no-one in ireland says “aye”
    FAIL

  49. That Person Over There says:

    That is a horrible fail. Mick isn’t a very Irish name. If he’d said Paddy Murphy or something then I would lol.

  50. poopsicle says:

    rofl the funny thing about this is that guiness is actually made in England :P

    • Jihn says:

      It’s now made in Dubiln again.

    • fuckthebrits says:

      Not made in england shit for brains, still made in Ireland but the company was bought by Diageo and english company

      and British Airways is being run by an Irishman so FUUUUCK You!

  51. Jason says:

    Since when was guiness a beer? It’s a stout.

  52. IrishxBaby says:

    I’m from Cork and i’ve never ever heard anyone say aye here. But then again, the contrast of Northern Ireland and Republic is an issue with that. I must admit though, i always thought Guinness (spelled with 2 N’s) was a stout, as with Beamish and Murphy’s. Guinness is also not English, but its based on an English porter

  53. Anti-Troll S.A.M says:

    Guinness=Beer=Ale=Stout. Ireland+Prime Minister=Taoiseach.

  54. Kyle Ginn says:

    I posted this fail, and I gotta say I’ve gotten more laughs from the comments section than I did the day this actually happened.

    The beer/stout issue is I think more of a cultural thing. In America, it’s all beer in addition to being a stout/ale/porter. Actually, I don’t think I’ve EVER heard ANYTHING called a stout or a porter in American culture. Ale VERY occasionally, but really… it’s all beer to us. Which is, understandably, offensive to you UK folk.

    • Josh says:

      you obviously haven’t drank much beer in America outside the anheuser busch brewing company..if you have ever heard of Sam Adams they brew every one of those types of beer

  55. Killt says:

    Guinness is made by a British company…

  56. Someone who likes laughing says:

    For crying out loud, just let it be funny! Apparently 5000 people think it’s funny so just LEAVE IT… effing beer snobs.

  57. Daniel says:

    I like the fact that an IRISH guy has a SCOTTISH accent… or a pirate, I’m not quite sure, but it’s definitely NOT Irish… xD

  58. John says:

    Brilliant!! Beer= Liquid Bread, MMMMMM Good.

  59. NayNay says:

    I swear to god, if one more person claims that Guinness is not a beer, I will punch a baby.

  60. Everyone just keeps on saying the same thing. Seriously guys, check what other people have said before you post, otherwise your just clogging up the comments with complete shite. Also, you can tell that this bloke knew nothing else remotely about ireland, other than guinness. Not that I’m a know-all of everything irish, but i at least know more than him. And with that, I am off!

  61. FAIL says:

    FAIL. Guinness was first made in the UK, it’s only popular in ireland

  62. k8 says:

    Aaand epic fake-news report WOULD have been FTW *IF* they had spelled GuinNess right.

  63. k8 says:

    And, “FAIL”… YOU fail… learn your Guinness history.

  64. Josh says:

    ok uhh just wanna clear it up for you guys its GUINNESS not Guiness its two N’s obviously none of you actually drink Guinness you are all a disgrace to beer

  65. Josh says:

    and yeah Guinness isnt from the UK its always been brewed in Ireland

  66. IrishGirl:) says:

    Guiness has been brewed in Ireland since 1769, it’s a stout, but it’s bloody disgustin!! ughh hahaha.. guiness is seriously an old mans drink, or a drink for people who really wanna seem so bloody irish they’d put themselves through that torture :S.. its really nice with some blackcurrant in it tho… but hey!! don’t knock it till u’ve tried it :)

  67. IRISHREM says:

    Actually we don’t have a prime minister. It is called a Teasoch or something, i cant spell it.

  68. Pat says:

    Taoiseach translates to clan chief or something to that effect.
    As for the failbook itself, Ignorence rarely worth a laugh after it has been ruined with even more ignorence.
    Although I did have a guy who said he had an american €2 coin, no that was funny.

  69. CaptainCommie94 says:

    Guinness is a stout not a beer!!

  70. siriusdelirious says:

    Way to comment on an epic fail.

    Though one must hate the fake fecking Irish lingo there.
    No one here talks like that.

    But still a good laugh. And good craic.
    Which is Gaelic Irish for fun.

  71. Rich says:

    Guinness was founded in 1759 was it not? 1 minute to 12, I always remember that from the ads at Christmas. Beer, stout or ale…either way after about 13 pints of it you wont care when your vomiting your heart and soul out.

  72. Rich says:

    1 minute to 6*

  73. Meik says:

    i liked that… this was so great i had to write a comment….
    then i read those nerdy geeky bs comments about history of beer… wtf??

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