Failbook - Funny Facebook Status Messages

 

« Previous | Next »


Man, That Means I’ve Never Been In A Relationship


Funny Facebook Fails

Incorrect source or offensive?
  • Share on Facebook
  • Copy & paste this:

» See all 116 comments

  1. garglegarglegargle says:

    First! lol

  2. camille cotton says:

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. djse says:

    LOL…brutal truth.

  4. Quesadilla McLovin says:

    this is actually kind of cute in a wrong and naïve way lmao.

  5. zoe says:

    What a skank.

  6. D. H. says:

    GO AMY GO

  7. WTB says:

    Where can I go to get a sympathy blowjay from Amy?

  8. RJ says:

    Jason prooobabaly should get himself tested in the near future.

    • Envy says:

      For what? Unless she had a coldsore, there’s not a whole lot that can be transmitted through a blowjob.

      • Janie L says:

        Yeah, um, herpes is forever. Use a dental dam kids! Just kidding, you’ll never do that, enjoy your herpes.

        • Dan S says:

          True, however, unless they had a cold sore, the virus is dormant and not transmittable.

          • Shushnik says:

            That’s not even true. Herpes can be transmitted without any outbreak. If not, it would have been eraticated centuries ago by persecuting those with sores.

            You gotta know the truth if you’d like to avoid having your junk fall off. Find out the facts, kiddos, don’t trust some guy on some chat board to give you good info when your pecker is on the line.

      • Nashboo says:

        Um, no. ALL STDS can be transmitted through oral sex. People who think like you are the reason STDS are so prevalent. They think they’re safe as long as it isn’t up the vagoo.

        • marino says:

          not true. it would next to impossible to get hiv through oral sex. amy’s mouth would have to have massive open bleeding sores and even then it would be unlikely. you can theoretically transmit it through saliva but it would take gallons and gallons of contaminated spit…

          …the more you know…

          • Nashboo says:

            The risk of getting HIV form oral sex is .5 in 1000. Very small risk, but it IS a risk. Oral sex is not safe sex by any means.

          • N/A says:

            And by massive bleeding sores you do of course mean a small cut. The risk to the man is probably fairly low (how often do you accidentally cut your penis?) but the risk of a woman getting HIV from an infected man is pretty high.

  9. Envy says:

    Aw, the guy’s so excited. I feel bad for him.

  10. this is funny in so many levels though i do feel sorry for the guy

  11. John says:

    hahaha epic! amy sounds like a slut! :)

  12. Rawb says:

    Sympathy Blowjobs… When I tell someone off now, I’m going to tell them to go and give a guy named Jason a ‘Sympathy Blowjob’

  13. I wish Amy was my Friend!

  14. Lynz Catastrophe says:

    I love this website, it totally makes my day, always find things to make me laugh on here.

  15. RevRen says:

    Sometimes I wish it weren’t anonymous. I’d love to follow up with the emotional aftermath of his embarrassment. Ahhh damn you censorship!

  16. egzonche says:

    HAHAHAHAH, made me ROFL

  17. Sallie says:

    aw, poor baby….I’m sorry she was rude enough to say it on FB. I would have at least told you in private.

  18. Amberoni says:

    Here is how I think this went, “Hey I don’t like you in that way, but you looked really sad when I rejected you, so how about some consolation head?” LOL

  19. Deray28 says:

    I wish that was a certain Jason I know, jajajajajaja

  20. Schaffer says:

    Why? Because she put on facebook that she gives out sympathy blowjobs freely. As a male i’m all for it, however she should not expect herself to be wifey material in the near future. Yes we men like whores, we just dont want our mothers and daughters to be one of them. To many girls these days are damaged goods out of middle school.

  21. Schaffer says:

    In other words, if a girl has any self respect then she will keep some things private. Im sure she will garner all the attention she will get now from the guys she knows, just hope the poor creature doesnt actually get delusions that they will be interested because of her bright personality.

  22. By the fact that she didn’t send that in a message she’s fucked up, but at the same time she did give him a sympathy blowjob

  23. Igetstabby says:

    The first times free ;D

  24. Adam says:

    You’re just jelous that you don’t have friends that can make you feel good even when you’re feeling down.

    so am I.

  25. Cae says:

    This is funny on so many levels…. I’m still laughing. Best failbooking in a while

  26. Giga Guess says:

    Ouch. Just…ouch.

  27. cbee says:

    no just means your a skank

  28. jiminy says:

    Sorry, Jason, that it’s not going to work out. She seems like a nice girl, though. And I guess you’ve already collected your consolation prize…

  29. internetrush says:

    The word “Whore” comes to mind…. And self-dilluted idiot…

  30. wang says:

    i’m pretty sure to be in a relationship, it is a mutual thing (like she has to agree on it…)

    • Kamahl says:

      She agreed on the BJ. Poor guy must have thought that the BJ meant, “I wanna date you.”

    • raymond says:

      not if he doesnt name her in it. like if your significant other isnt on facebook you can list yourself as “in a relationship” but it wont list anyone as “in a relationship with amy the slut”

  31. Kamahl says:

    Hah, I know an Amy too. Knowing her, it might be the same one. Random sex does sound like her. Poor guy, know where you’re sticking your penis.

  32. flubber says:

    Damn, it’s gonna be awkward next time they see each other!

  33. ... says:

    Fake, obviously.

  34. Asami says:

    @wang – That’s only if he wanted to link to her on his profile. Anyone can list themselves as “in a relationship” without getting someone else’s permission. (Otherwise, how would those whose significant others are without Facebook accounts list themselves as taken?)

  35. dragonmago says:

    I don’t think she’s a whore. A lot of ladies do stuff like this because we can be really pathetic when horny.

    In another topic, somebody call the firetruck, ’cause he got BURNED

  36. olive r says:

    I kinda thought of a Skins episode, where Emily has ‘sympathy sex’ with JJ. (The British Skins, if anyone happens to know… :D )
    Maybe it was something like that? The guy is really nice, girl feels sorry for him (maybe he’s ‘inexperienced’) and gives him a bj but he overthinks it.
    Poor JJ – I mean James :D

  37. MORE!! says:

    There should be more causal oral sex, lets get licking and sucking people! remember your kids are not smoking weed when their lips are occupied :O <=8

  38. Bonjoooour says:

    If You Seek Amy

  39. Wynn says:

    I just want to know, when did we start calling them blowjays?

    • ha ha says:

      ha, ha! just what i was thinking! (^_^)

      i was wondering if anyone else was thinking this. took till the last comment.

  40. Reva says:

    Amy’s a nasty tart

  41. CaptainObvious says:

    I want some sympathy too, Amy.

  42. The Stumbling Block says:

    Here’s why this is faked… when you click that you’re in a relationship with someone on FB, that other person must agree to it before it even displays on either person’s wall that you’re in a relationship. In other words, she would have had to agree that they were in a relationship and then responded about the sympathy blowjay in disagreement. Either this is faked, or she’s just that dumb.

    Wait… she said “blowjay” so… she may just be that dumb.

    • stealing cases says:

      omg where do I even begin? First of all hears a *face palm* second of all

      The “in a relationship thing” does not specify with whom it just says jason is in a relationship so no one else has to agree to anything. If i went and put married and didn’t put the name Facebook wouldnt need to ask anyone else to agree. Okay . Thanks :)

  43. John S. says:

    I love how she manages to use her own sluttiness to make him look stupid… classic girl move. Genius.

  44. Interesting article, I am now a subscriber!

  45. LOL says:

    classic xD


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s