Submitted by: Will via Submission Page
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Submitted by: Will via Submission Page
My thoughts exactly, Steven.
Do people really talk like that? o_O
They’re called Chavs.
Dear God, I hope these two never get the chance to breed.
My thoughts exactly!
They said they were engaged…
After only nine months…
I feel sorry for the kids…
And I dread to think of their names…
People like this are the reason I wish I had the power to sterilize people with my mind.
ditto
That was actually painful to my brain…
It was like 1/2 a seizure on my brain reading it.
….I had a full seizure while reading.
I became epileptic.
50% of marriages end in divorce. I can guarantee you this “couple” is in that 50%.
errr. which 50%, genius?
Obviously the 50% that anonymous is talking about in their comment. Did you really even have to ask that question?
THAT 50%!
He just said what 50%, genius.
“50% of marriages end in divorce.” <— this 50%, obviously.
Read the sentence again please. Slowly.
Haha someone trying to sound smart but making themselves look stupid, yet again…
Ahh that was cute ^^ Steven probably is just a crotchety lonely person
“Sweet fucking Jesus, these people are so cheesy it’s unbelievable. Steven is clearly a man amongst men.”
Fix’d
A man among men, thats like being the ultimate loser among losers! If its manly to hate cute speak then men do not have much time left on this planet.
HA HA HA DISREGARD THAT IM AN IDIOT NAD PROBABLY HOMOSEXUAL
Hahah nice Name hijacking, obviously you are a male.
and you are quite correct, I like girls and only girls. Guys are wankers and should be 86′d
and me being a wanker, i sure love the wangs and to wank around.
Cute speak? Shut the fuck up.
There’s a difference between cute speak, and being able to spell.
Text talk isn’t even this retarded, and I’m around a lot of n00bs on Gaia….they don’t even talk this way! Leahzbian, Thank you for finally distinguishing it! I was surprised no one else has.
I’m a female and I think they’re both fucking retarded. They sound like morons. Cute speak is ridiculous and unnecessary after you’re over the age of like..thirteen.
Over the age of thirteen? Shit, people need to stop speaking like that when they get over the age of five.
Cute and disgusting are two entirely different words.
Shut the fuck up
^^ that’s what Steven actually said..
I’ve seen this post before.
Steven says “Shut the fuck up”,
not “heck”. Maybe this user wanted
to be polite??
This is what we would get if Guy Ritchie did a romantic comedy.
HA!
I skimmed over the whole thing so I didn’t die too much, but Steven has the right idea.
Gag me.
Right on, Steven.
WTF is wrong with those people?!
Steven is my hero.
Jeeeeeesso who talks like that? and exactly.. we said Steven
Anyone else notice the guy and his fiancee’s writing styles are suspiciously similar?
Yeah, but I think it’s because they’re brother and sister.
I noticed that too… They’re a match made in heaven. Or, rather, hell.
Hey, hey! Don’t put that on us! We have no control over what idiots fall in love… It was a match made in Compton….
I’m convinced she logged into his account and wrote that crap as him. Or maybe he’s just a made up person.. It’s just too hard to believe this is real.
STEVE DA MAN!
Maybe its just Tara Gilesbie trollin’.
There is not enough asterisks in the world to correct those two
This is exactly why the world’s going to pot.
Also, OW! Did anyone else lose a few brain cells while reading this?
Yes, I did…
yup…. those brain cells died a painful death.
A few?
I lost half a brain… and I gave up halfway through
I was wondering why my brain hurt!
Steven needs his own fanclub.
He doess, make one and I’ll join.(:
Good Lord what language is that? It was literally painful to read.
Get a room, ffs.
c-c-c-combo breaker! it wouldve been “sweet” without the retard talk
Steve ftw
Thank God Steven said it otherwise I would have to hunt them down and say it myself.
Is it pathetic I know people who type and act like that?
How can people type like that? I think I’d explode if I tried to do that. I feel sorry for any offspring that is produced by these two.
What are the chances these two arent even out of their teens yet?This is what happens in a Hannah Montana=THE NOTEBOOK=sheltered living=the internet is your only friend -kind of world…….its called teenage delusion!
You forgot to include ghetto wannabe in that formula. Personally, I think a little HM twang could have improved their typing, but who really knows at this point. This is what rap does to unsuspecting minds. All be warned.
lol rap, even rap is better then that shit
STEVEN WIN!
They each actually found someone lacking the English language and proper typing skills as much as themselves. We should all be happy for them. Though I do need to comment on “fiancé” after 9 months. Jesus! Date for a while people. I have had my share of relationships kick the bucket after two years and these guys haven’t even made it to one.
All couples I know who got engaged and got married about 1 year after they started their relationship have never divorced and have been married for a long time already.
Can’t say that much of those who got engaged/married less than 6 months after the start of their relationship, or 2 years after.
I think this is the explanation:
If you get engaged too fast, you’re likely to marry someone you’ll realize you don’t get along so well with. You have to take time to know the person of course.
But if you wait too long, then it’s probably because you’re a complicated person or you have too many expectations, and in that case nobody you date or marry will ever make you happy.
Also, life and relationships are not always easy. All couples that last go through very hard times at one point or another. People should learn to expect to have problems and prepare. Most divorces happen because people can’t manage problems in their relationship and find it easier to quit. People who wait 2 years or more to figure out they want to get married usually do so because they know they are weak and won’t handle problems well. People who are strong are more confident and worry less about marriage being too much for them.
I’m not saying people should get married before it’s 2 years, but they should at least know what they want out of their relationship. If after 2 years of relationship they still don’t know if they want to marry or not, then there’s a problem.
It seems like 1 year is the perfect time to get engaged. Or to be precise, people who wait at least that long to know the other person but who don’t take longer to make up their mind are much more likely to have a happy marriage.
Of course getting engaged after 1 year won’t do you any good if you are forcing yourself into it, or if for some reason you still don’t know your partner well (e.g.: long distance relationships).
So basically, to get a successful marriage you have to:
1) Know the person you’re marrying
2) Know what you want
3) Decide how important your relationship is and will be to you (i.e. figure out what problems can you overcome for it, and for which problems would you sacrifice it), and have the will to make the relationship work.
These 3 points don’t have a 100% success rate, but the divorce rate would be divided by 10 if people followed them.
sad thing is that I read the failbook but I didn’t take the time to read this.. to long to read! you have to much time on your hands!
I’m sure your comment is just filled with wisdom, but really, no one wants to read all that.
tl;dr
2 years is, I think, the absolute minimum. The general idea of getting married is that this person will be your primary partner/sole partner for the rest of your life. Yeah, you can know someone after a year, but not that goddamn well.
Well, I’m glad that’s worked for your friends but before you wrote all of that out you should have considered National Center for Health Statistics 2002 report that found that your risks of divorce decreases (by about 10 years) the longer you have known the person you are marrying.
But thanks, anyways.
tl;dr
I’m sorry to say that I DID not read your post .
that would be why my parents waited maybe 10 years, give or take, and have been married for a good 18 years on top of that?
tl;dr
Both of my sisters got engaged after less than nine months of dating. Elder sis started dating her future hubby in July and they were engaged by the new year and married eight months later. Next sis started dating her future hubby in November, they got engaged in December, and they got married in May. Both have strong, happy marriages and beautiful kids. Honestly? A short courtship is indicative of one of two things: 1.) Impatience and immaturity; or 2.) knowing exactly what you want and realizing this person is it. There are couples who live together for years and are divorced less than a year after marrying, and there are couples who get married less than a month after meeting (I know of at least two) and stay together their whole lives. So don’t assume anything on a short engagement.
On the other hand, these two are quite obviously tools.
Someone needs to translate this.
Rob-
x I mean the way her eyes glitter and the way her hair sways in the breeze are just a couple of things that make her so amazing. We’ve had our fall-outs, but all couples do, but no matter what happens, she’s always mine. x♥x love you…
Is hanging out with his gorgeous fiance, had a great couple of days, never want them to end.
Kimberely-
Aww baby x you sloppy (?) x but I love it xxxx muah xxx together forever baby xxxxxxx kisses. By the way even though I’m sitting next to you, still, kisses? Lol xx mua
Love you xxxxxx ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Kimberely (as if she hasn’t said enough)-
By the way you mean everything to me too x you’re my heart, soul, and my best friend and I love you deep down x I love you in the days that end with `y` x you’re so special baby x I can’t wait until Valentine’s weekend x gonna be great x I have a mega surprise for you x and you’re gonna like it xxxxxxxxx I love you baby xxxxxxxxxx Plus nearly 9 months xxxxxxxxxxxxx Soon to be a year, lol xxxx love you more than anything baby cakes xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx never want to lose you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I love you
Steven-
Shut the fuck up.
thanks for that.. took me 5 hours to try to figure that out on my own and I still got half of it wrong.
No problemo(:
Maybe instead of “sloppy” it really is “soppy” as in a mushy pile of goo that results from a overuse of affection.
But then, I also read “munfs” as “muffins” and with all the sense dripping from Kimberly, “muffins” made as much sense as “months.”
the “sloppy” bit, she actually spelled right. “soppy git” is rather English slang. “soppy” would be “mushy” in American, I suppose (as in overly romantic)… and “git” is kind of like “twit”. I would assume in this case it is affectionate.
Still my response to this is “whatthef*ckamireading.jpg”
I agree, I can’t even read this shit.
everything about this is painful.
at first I was like:
WTF is this shit? Who can read this shit?
then Steve was like:
I agree with you ^
Now i’m all:
AHAHAHAHAHHAHA fuck yeah!
Win.
Owwwww my brain hurts after reading that….Where is the spelling wizard when you need him?! And Steven FTW
In fairness, lolspeak gives me a headache about 3 words in; at least with this it took an entire paragraph.
I share steven’s thoughts. That was simply painful to read…
It kinda looks like they’re typing in Jamaican. I would know because my whole family types in Jamaican. Still cheesy, though.
I’m Jamaican and I hate to say that I kind of agree…. my friends sometimes post kinda like this on Facebook. Not anything THIS retarded, though….
It would have been sweet in English… Sometimes when I read lolspeak I have to think what they were trying to say.
We’ve all wanted to say this to at least one person on our friend’s list.
that was so bad their spell checker suicided
I just puked a little in my mouth. I think my brain just died…
it’s comments like rob and kimberly that FILL MY HEART WITH A BLACK UNQUENCHABLE RAGE AND HATRED OF HUMANITY!!
stephen is a god among men
Go Steven. I found an old buddy on FB a while back and his first few posts were he and his wife back and forth with “X loves his wonderful wonderful wife” and “Y adores her marvelous husband” and I responded at the bottom with “Hurl.”
Are you serious? I don’t really mind “soppy” comments, it was the sheer weight of chav talk that made me rage at this…
why the hell do people even type like that? it’s really not cool or makes you look awesome, you just look like a freaking retard, i mean sure people at the age of 14 or whatever can get away with it and even then you still feel the need to smack them in the face with a dictionary and hope that it has some effect on them, but i’m guessing that these two are older than that, ugh…should be illegal to type like that >_>
Are we sure we can regenerate brain cells? I think I lost quite a few trying to read this shit.
Too bad Google’s language tool doesn’t have an “internet douch-speak to English translation” option.
Steven – proof that even in a place as stupid as facebook , the voice of reason isn’t dead.
Are x’s the new replacement for periods?
OWNED!!!!!!!
Ya know, I’m all for soppy comments back and forth on people’s facebooks, and textspeak is fine on there too. HOWEVER, mix those up with overly cutesy spelling makes for comments that hurt my brain to read and lower the IQ of anyone who reads them.
I think ‘everyfink’ is what basically killed me. And then it became overkill.
Lets see if he says this once she leaves his lame ass!!
sorry what a suck ass!!!
Please don’t have children!!! And I mean please!!!!!
Has anybody seen the movie Idiocracy? This is the beginning of that movie. Someone must stop them.
Rob is gay and on the dl clearly
I heard they’re auditioning for the new Jersey Shore cast
It took me a fucking hour to read that shit. How so you manage to misspell every fucking word?
UGH….I have never and would never talk to my significant other like this.
Ok….
What?
so much years and decades of english….gone in 3 posts, actually sadder then a 3 legged puppy. :’(
My first comment just for this:
God bless you Steven.
God-freaking-bless you.
That made my head hurt…
If there is a god, he will strike these two off of this planet like all darwin award nominees.
Jesus christ, that was borderline impossible to read. What ever happened to hooked on phonics?
Not 2 be racist….;) but these ppl r obviously black or want 2 be I work and with enough black ppl 2 know how they talk
And I’ve met enough ten year olds to know how old you are.
More like retarded 15-year old English kids.
Who are you to talk?!
The three of you collectively are a wank stain on the bedspread of society.
Please don’t inflict your pathetic opinions on the rest of us.
Just stay in your dead end job with your ignorance and your three braincells and have a happy life.
It would be funny if they end up being white.
This is a prime example of why FaceBook should have spell-check. I can only assume that these people are slow 12-year-olds.
HEY! i’m 12 and i can write quite fast if i don’t make a typo XP
these 2 are too much, but the rest of u are jealous, we should all get to feel like this at least once in our lives and not be afraid to show it, even if it doesnt last. steven is just a dork who never got it right, sorry for him and the rest of u who agree. facebook is fun, leave the good spelling to the term papers. sheez people, get a life!!!
obvious troll is trolling…?
I say this to you Steven: Rock on. \m/
I have found the perfect response. A timeless quote from Billy Madison:
Rob, Kim – what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
I agree with Steph…SPELL CHECK! I really do hope they are 12ish and not adults. What is wrong with people? Did they completely MISS/SKIP english class? I hate when people type/speak that way. I want to smack the snot out of them!! I hate LOL speak, GROW UP and LEARN ENGLISH and speak CORRECTLY!
O.o’…
Do you think they talk like that ‘in real life’?
They’re probably British. It’s easier to read if you imagine a British accent.
Why must they be British? Taking the slang used into account they probably are.
By the way what IS a British accent…
I LOVE YOU STEVEN
i’m sure he got a lot of shit for that, but imo, it was well worth it.
Um… this was on Lamebook weeks ago. See http://www.lamebook.com/victims-of-love.
Jazus christo…my eyes bugged reading that
For me, it wasn’t the crappy spelling that made my intestines want to reach up and cut the oxygen off to my brain, nor was it the the fact that they were getting married after nine months, NOR was it the constant facepalming I did whilst reading her pathetic sentiments. My beef is this:
SHE WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM.
For the love of God, why did she feel the need to inform facebook…
Bless you Steven.
Man, what a catch Kimberley is. Rob is one lucky retard..
Steven is my new role model.
Ebonics is back in style?!
Here lies the English language, how little we knew ye.
haha u gotta love steve…mm the most disturbing thing is the x after every sentence and the fact that they are engaged. O_o
I stopped reading after “iz jammin”, I couldn’t fucking take it.
Settle an argument- is this Japanese or Icelandic?
It sure as hell isn’t English.
Look, yes they sound stupid. Yes they really need to put this stuff into the actual English language, but who the FUCK are all of you jerks to treat them like they should be stuck to the bottom of your shoe?!
No, just shut up, please.
Why don’t you learn to act like a human being?!
I would so wipe these two offffff my shoe, not worth it, so shut the FUCK up.
No, just, no. Stop. Shut the fuck up.
oh god they can’t be serious with that spelling. just reading one sentence makes my head hurt.
learn english ffs
For some reason, I read this in a southern accent…
this is exactly how i imagine amy winehouse’s facebook page…
good god she talks like an lol cat! i wuv u i wnatz to b wit u bcuz i feel very special wen i am arund u OMG i wub u teh death ur so awsum i luv u babe! Im sorry i dont speak engrish
i wish steven said “i wish yhoo would shut the heck up x times a million xxxxxx
imagine how worn out her x button is on her keyboard.
If my missus send me crap like that i would divorce her. XXXthisXXXthat.
Stupid woman
I agree with Steven -_-
Shut the f**k up would of been funnier.
This is Obama’s Fault.