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lame
No, this is awesome. YOU are the lame one.
No, this is lame. YOU are the awesome one. Er, what?
Lame
awesome!
lamesome?
This is epic. It’s just like the movie Eagle Eye which I can only guess was the commentors objective.
It is kinda lame because het submitted it himself.
With all names obscured, how does one come to the conclusion that it was submitted by the person that wrote it? Epic Win IMHO
You see a ‘delete’ option under the post, hence concluding that the person who wrote it submitted it.
I think because you can only delete things from your own comments and/or profile. The commenter has an option to delete.
Or he’s the poster of the original comment, they can delete comments too.
both the person who made the status and the person who left a comment and delete comments. dont any of you actually use facebook?
a ha, but the original status lacks a “delete” option. Hence, it was the commenter.
Uh… except that the ‘delete’ option only comes up when your mouse is hovered over the comment, so again, it could have been either.
Not true, If the person that had posted the status sent this in, there would also be a ‘like’ button where the delete button is, under the comment. Therefore, It was the person who commented who sent this in.
That post was in 02/10 … There was no like option on comments back than. Plus you commented on a post that is more than one year and a half old. ;o)
You can’t delete you status, you can only “remove” it…and the remove option will only be shown if the computer mouse pointer is above it. Hence we can’t tell who it is, it could be the commenter or the one who wrote the status
Only the second person’s comment can be deleted, which means this person sent it in, not the other one. Don’t YOU use Facebook?!
pictures are different
wow you guys should post these comments on failblog lol
It’s like they’re trying to solve a murder XD
Except the person who posted the comment couldn’t have submitted it since his body was found only seconds later in the kitchen. No, no I must have been Colonel Mustard in the Dining Room with the Candlestick!
omfg epic WIN
Umm no. its not only the second persons comment that can be deleted. you can delete all comments on your posts. either one of them could have put this up there is no way to tell. end of story.
The problem is that the original poster said they had several hours to kill at the mall, but only made the status 1 hour ago. Unless they quickly ran home to grab the screenshot, it had to have been the commenter who submitted it.
or he did say he was in the apple store, so he was on a computer he could have screen capped in there and emailed it to himself.
AHA! but the first post was “one hour ago” and the second was “26 minutes ago” so unless the first poster stood around for 34 minutes they would have no way of being able to take the screenshot!
actually it would have been an hour. but never underestimate the geekiness of guys… my dad and brother once spent like an hour at te apple store in sydney… and i had to stay with them. i have experienced this atrocity. i will never doubt apple lovers again.
No, that can’t be it, apple computers can’t make screenshots.
Erm. CMD+SHIFT+3/4 will screen shot on an Apple …
Not to mention the profile pictures are not the same.
Yes the commenter took the picture.
No the commenter did not post the status.
Except you can see that the pictures are different even though they are blurred. Same with the names. One has a longer first name. The other has a longer last name.
Pay close attention to the blurred photo’s. As a Forensic Scientist with a Computer Crimes division I can state with no doubt that the person who wrote the status is different to the person whom commented and such status.
Haha… wow… took a forensic scientist to figure out that the pictures are different? Thank God for forensic scientists! Us normal folk would be in the dark forever without you!
cept u guys shouldn’t have needed a forensic scientist to figure it out, it is so frickin obvious.
and someone who can’t even think of what to do at the mall prolly isn’t creative enough to come up with a big spiel like that.
Wow, so does that mean I could be a Forensic Scientist, too?
Dude it’s not that hard: One picture is dark and mostly black and white and the other has shades of brown.
kobe. tell me how my ass tastes.
Too many spelling errors.
I think you can overlook the spelling mistakes to enjoy the sheer awesome of this.
Those aren’t spelling errors. They’re secret spy codes. Once you crack the code you have the secret recipe for immortality. Or maybe it was for New Coke. I can’t remember which.
You just won an internet
It’s not the same thing?
Speling dusint materr if uz as epic as he!
You’re not as epic as he, so pay attention on your spelling, please!
lulz
LOL. That’s ninja.
Fucking genius…
Holy freaking crap that was cool.
Not lame. Highly imaginative and comical.
I thought it was cute.
Would you like a side of SPAZTASTIC WIN with that EPIC?
NO. You stop talking NOW. That was NOT funny.
You need to stop using the shift key, or you will lose something much more important to you.
o no, not my tickle me elmo!!!!! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ahhhahahHAHAHA. Say goodbye to your elmo.
*puts on shades, then epically throws the elmo over to a file of fireworks ready to go off*
File? WTH?!?!?!??!?! *stares at the folder as it explodes into firey papery bits*
that’s funny as fuck
I don’t know man, fuck is pretty fucking funny.
@adam: youre lame.
this post is awesome
okay, i agree, it’s not a fail… but it’s awesome
AMAZING!
I actually just read that whole thing… wow.
You don’t have to brag, not all of us can read as good as you.
It should be “well”, not “good”.
It should be “grammar” not “grammer”.
i was always under the impresion the comma goes inside the quotations…
You mean the period? (Also, impression*.)
It usually does, but not always. I can’t be bothered explaining the exceptions here.
In British English it’s always outside (same with brackets). Just saying…
CORRECT English not British English, it deserves more credit after the yanks fucked it up!
This is the part where you all shut the fuck up and enjoy this comical scenario which was so kindly posted for us. HUGS ALL AROUND.
lol. Was GrammarNazi taken? Good call on the well and good though. Please cure the world of your and you’re!
please cure yourself of being a newfaq
*Grammar
It was an intentional mistake, I think. They were joking about being illiterate.
What is this, a Grammar Nazi convention? Grammar War I is about to break loose! Run for cover!
That was REALLY corny.
It’s also a FAIL. Grammar War Two is the one with grammar Nazi Germany.
fuck i wanna know what what all thats for !
TLDNR
That’s awesome!
Awesome!! LMAO!
What Thinking!
tl;dr to the max
Actually I did read. That’s pretty cool.
Wow just wow
EPIC!!!!
TL;DR
HA HA I loved it
i lol’ed at this! not a fail unless the guy who posted he was in the mall actually does all this haha!
Heh, an Edmontonian definitely wrote this, all of the locations are bang on.
Someone had too much time on their hands.
Too much time or just a stalker! The fact the guy remembered the layout of the mall and created so many insane ideas is genius. This guy deserves a medal and should write the 24 script from now on…
Well hes definately not from edmonton, but your correct, he has too much time on his hands.
Er, not quite. I’m from Edmonton too. Abercrombie’s on the second floor… and to the later poster who said the one on the first floor was for kids, there is no abercrombie on the first floor.
Also, Foot Locker’s closed now for Victoria’s Secret, which will be opening this Summer.
Last time I was at WEM there were two Abercrombies… maybe 2 months ago? Also foot locker was still open. Although it’s possible that they’ve changed things (quite likely) but it’s impossible to say when this was posted originally.
On a side note, I’m going to WEM next week, will the blazer still be there if the person didn’t fulfill their quest?
The mall needs to update their website then…..
I was sure I saw both of these stores last time I was in the mall.
Suite 1723 is abercrombie (the kids’ abercrombie right underneath the adults one) and 1720 is foot locker. It still shows up online with both of these stores in the mall directory.
I would think the water world would be the grossest thing in a gross mall………
Are you going to follow the instructions??!?
I want that person on my friends list so I can get awesome comments like that! WIN!!!
I just hope all of it came true. = D
I think I have a newfound way to waste my time…. *grins*
EPIC WIN.!
Give me a mission.!
Awesome, except now I have the overwhelming urge to go play one of the escape-the-room games that both draw me in and frustrate the hell out of me
Win^^
That facebook message will self destruct in five seconds.
I thought James Bond, too.
The self destruct reference is from Mission: Impossible – the television series, not the movie – and not Bond. Trivia Fail.
Also in Inspector Gadget… except it’s just ‘This message will self-destruct’.
That’s where my thought pattern went… lol
Also, Secret Squirrel.
I want to know what happened after the person did this, if they even did it.
All you tl;dr people are missing out (and are also lazy). This was great!
Well, reading is really hard for some people. And by “some” I mean “dumb”.
Amen to that.
That is so cool!
love this person…WIN!
wow.. creative. not bad.
That was really entertaining.
I want a sequel.
Ditto That for sure! I’m curious what the “Further instructions” are!
You didn’t get enough notice or “lol, you’re so funny” on the original facebook post, so you felt the need to post it on other websites to get the lols you require for reassurance that you are amusing?
Did you post this on your friend’s status just so that you could submit it here?
Wow, you’re bitter at life! It’ll get better. Really.
Dont be a hater.
Boooooo! Sarah, you’re a fun ruiner. I bet no one invites you to the good parties.
You don’t get to ruin people’s day often enough in real life, so you thought you’d post a bitter comment on Failbooking to get the daily dose of evil you require?
Seriously, I don’t care if he posted it or not. It’s awesome. People are entitled to realize when they do something awesome, and call it such. If that were not so, there would be no such thing as art. Get over it.
They have a nice website though
dat is so wkd lyk totally kl blud.. i wnt to b da 1 mooin at da chick i thnk it b awsum nd i cud roll wd dat!
umm…….what??
What??
What he meant to say was:
That is, like, so cool. I want to be the person mooing at the girl in the dressing you. I think it’d be an awesome experience and I’d be down with doing something like that.
Thanks for the translation. You’re pretty fluent in, um…whatever that language was.
lolwut?
LMAO! Awesome!
This is such a clever post. Yes, not a fail, but still hilarious. I want clever friends like that. A comment like that would totally make my day!
Reminds me of “Jackie Brown”
I stopped reading as soon as I saw West Ed mall…
I would do it.
hahaha, I live acroos the street from west ed and know exactly what they are talking about, also love 24. Too funny
need copypasta
Its copy and paste. You can not copy pasta…
Dammit, why not?
You’re obviously new to the internet eh?
I wish I had a friend like this. I mean, I wish I had a friend. But one like this would be all the more spectacular.
um, “bear mase”???
Like pepper spray… But to use for a attacking bear…
Actually I think it’s the spelling (should be mace) that is confusing?
freaking awesome!
Fuckin hillarious.. but i’m from edmonton, the ambercrombie on the first floor is for kids.. so i doubt there would be the mens blazers there… still a damn good laugh
I thought it was pretty amusing.
WIN! I’d love it if I got a message like this on my facebook!!
I also agree with the person that said it makes them want to play one of those ‘escape the room’ games. I thought exactly the same thing! LOL
Wow, wonder if she(he?) did it. That had to be written beforehand. Nobody could think up all that in just 30 minutes, unless that person just lives in the mall.
Seriously?!?! No one could come up with that in 30 minutes?!?! It’s clever, but it’s not a novel.
Fucking epic. Full of win…Hes doin it right, and noone died.
SHIT.. lmao. that made my day.
Three words: Win.
That’s two words
Actually, that is three words. 1)Three 2)words: 3) Win.
…..AWSOME!! i wonder what really happened….or if the guy really did it…. hahah
I REALLY hope you meant 3 letters.
Wish I had this guy for a friend… The mall would be so much more exciting.
Epic
that’s funny
ROLF!!!!
+1 for that guy
Rolling On the Laughing Floor?
xD LMFAO ! Allison, that made my day. C:
Soooo epic. I really wish i could see the follow-up comments lolol
tl;dr
this is a big fat LMFAO,i cracked up at thisd
This would be so much cooler if the poster hadn’t also submitted it to this site.
except for.. then you wouldn’t know of this post.. which.. you do.. TIME PARADOX *headsplodes*
300 points for Gryfinndor!
Gryffindor, for one. And for two, I’d say those points would be better awarded (as much as I loath to say) to Ravenclaw. No way, unless Granger was the one to come up with it (which I doubt), would a Gryffindor have the brains to come up with -that-.
…or it could just be one incredibly smart-arsed Muggle. Either way.
lmao thats pretty kool!
this reminds me of the old DOS games in the late 80′s…..you know, the ones I would take off BBS’s…
Damn! They found my classified message!
This is a truly epic win.
Oh wow, that truly made my day.. To make all that for a guy who was bored at the mall
Haha Yeah I want a friend that would write something like that for me!! It was hilarious! I laughed all the way through!
Some loser obviously has no life to post that stupid crap
Funny, that’s just what I thought about your comment.
I’m sure he’d apologize to you, the one who is spending their time reading, and then commenting on, something so “stupid” for his lack of a life.
Because, you know, at least he has something productive and funny to show for his bored as opposed to a pathetic one line comment insulting someone else.
The third largest mall (largest outside of Beijing) and it only includes four stores?
LAME
actually… mall of america… ever heard of it? yeah… largest.
Actually…West Edmonton Mall, a.k.a largest shopping mall in North America…Ever heard of it? It is about 1 million sq ft larger than the Mall of America.
Do your research before commenting.
this is the funniest shit i’ve read in a long time,i wonder if that guy was stupid enough to do all this shit
I demand a sequel!
=o Well, ok maybe not demand, but I’m extremely curious and now I want to set something like this up to punk a friend. lawlz
Entirely doable, if you know enough people who work at a mall.
OMG! that is awesome! XD *LOL* wow…just….damn now i want to have that person on a laser tag game or something of the sort…is it bad i want to play a spy game now? and have none?
I dunno, by the time he would state his lazer tag plan, the other team would have already found you.
Damn…you’re right….my plan has failed….*hangs head in shame*
I’d totally follow those directions. And if they didn’t go all the way through, I think I’d be disappointed. But if they DID, I think I’d be afraid of what I got myself into. o_o
tl;dr. Okay I did read it but it was anticlimatic
I need some bear mase too, you know, just to have!
Someone has way too much time on their hands!
Sounds like the walkthrough of a good old LucasArts game to me!
That was done over SEVERAL comments wasn’t it? Last I checked, 420 was the character count in facebook (which makes me sad
). But that was good besides that!
i don’t understand how people can tell when people submit things themselves?
This is full of so much win.
fail.
this is not funny because he wrote it simply to get on failbook…
i lol’d. i lol’d more at this mother fucking comments
defintely this is the win of the year so far
THIS IS DELICIOUS ! YES ! YES !
Hmmmmm, it is? *licks the screen* Ohhhhhhh it tastes like bacon!!!!!!
Omg that was freaking awesome. Not to mention I work at West Ed so I know where all these places are. xD
Reminds me of Dane Cook’s burger kind sketch, except this one is actually funny.
420 word count is for the actual post. No limit on comments. Which is kinda stupid.
OH!
there is a limet on comments it cannot be over 8000 characters
Well, looks like SOMEbody’s been in the mall too much…
Fucking fantastic. That needs to be turned into a short story.
I need this guy on my fb; maybe I’d be more interested in checking it
tl;dr
EPIC.
freaking awesome
Amazing!!!
I think this is a ripoff of a monty python sketch, if i’m not very much mistaken…
Fan-freaking-tastic. If you got time on your hands, you might as well entertain people.
this is just the best!!!!
Damn. That’s really all I can say. That had to be the most thought-out, pointless, fucking awesome thing I’ve ever read.
That had to be the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Too bad there isn’t an ending..
This story is kind of stolen from the Office. It’s like a modified Dwights perfect crime.
yeah, pretty sure this is NOTHING like dwight’s perfect crime, modified or otherwise
That… was fucking awesome.
Truly, truly epic. Well done, sir.
That was amazing! I want to know what happens next!!
wow are you mind gay cause you just blew my mind!!!! XO
isnt there like a 430 character limit on replies?
hahahaha this is the most epic win ever
Someones got quite a bit of time on their hands.
freaking AWESSSOOMMEEEe:D
lol epic win
*facepalm*
That was probably the greatest thing I have ever read. Lmfao.
i just read the whole thing,seriously thats an accomplishment
Dude im there no reading this lol
its not a leather pouch a a belt loop. its a satchel,indiana jone’s wears one
I wonder if that guy actually did any of that.
One word… Amazing
Okay, I have the beer-mayonnaise. What now?
OK I could believe it!!
this is absolutely amazing.
stfu, u suck,
i was talkin to that “holder of inane” guy, not asdf
oh come on, i know its not as good as the facebook comment, but he tried, and so far, he’s better than YOU,since you didn’t try
i read this, and it has flaws, but i somehow enjoyed it
The funny thing is he actually tried it.
I agree, as a fellow Edmontonian. My brother works in a shop there. It’s nasty. Although I do enjoy Galaxyland… I just wish they would get their rears in gear to clean up the waterpark.
I hardly ever go to “The Mall” anyway. I’d rather wander Kingsway or Londonderry.
Hilarious!
dude. this, this here, is a certified case of a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma. the-end.
When you get to the bus station, give the ticket to Ken and watch him depart. You will be approached by a sketchy looking man in a yellow coat. He will give you a name that you will forget the second you hear it. When he asks for a favor give him both of the foil packages. Watch as he walks away and goes through a door with a red “Do Not Enter” sign on it. Follow after him as the door shuts.
You will be in a long concrete hall with no door or exit. Not even the one you came in through. Run. Run as fast as you can because the second that door closed behind you something woke up and it’s right behind you. Do not look behind you.
Even though you can feel it’s foul breath on your neck and hear the noise it makes as it chases you. Seeing it will not make any sense to you and will only result in your own death. Just run as fast as you can. The hall is endless and the thing behind you will never get tired. Keep running though. Even as your legs burn, your lungs heave, and your vision goes out. Keep running because your life depends on it.
Eventually the thing will become impatient and tackle you to the ground. Be still. Do not flail or scream. It will rip through your blazer and into your belt. The bear mace will be damaged and let out all of it’s chemicals into the bag. The thing will scream and run away. As long as you keep the bag in one hand it will not come back. Get up and find the remains of the blazer. Take out the recorder and switch it off before smashing it on the floor. Inside you will find a small four-holed button.
The Button is Object 23 of 538. It’s power is terrifying but utterly incomprehensible. You will continue walking down the hallway where you will come across a small desk with a lamp on it. Place the remains of the blazer in the right hand drawer on top. Turnaround, and you will see an odd colored brick. Pull out that brick, and retrieve the key inside of the hole. Unlock the door with the key, and your driver Ken will be on the other side with a package. Open the package without him seeing, and remove the silenced pistol, and shoot him dead. On the inside of his jacket in the right hand pocket, you will find an envelope, and in the left hand pocket a lighter and a car key.
Open this envelope, remove the letter, the boat ticket, and the large amount of cash. place these items in your pants pockets, and read the letter. after reading the letter, you are to burn it, and then walk out of the door to your right. You will get into the 2005 Ford Taurus, and drive it to the Docks 5 miles to the east. Present the ticket to the man at the boat. You will scratch your right ear for exactly 5 seconds. He will provide you with a room key. Go to the corresponding room, and further instructions will be waiting for you.
Too bad you can’t leave comments that long.
the comments on the statuses are funnier than the statuses themselves. fucking retards
That was so fucking epic. I can’t believe my eyes when i read it. I <3 whom ever wrote this.
prepare to get burned!!
if…in fact, the person WAS in the apple store, she/he would have posted this status by phone! and in this status,there is no symbol of the phone…hence you all got burned!! boumchikawawa !!
they could have used one of the computers in the apple store, therefore the status did not have to be posted by phone
if i put that much time and effort into a joke id post it myself too. This chap is clearly under appreciated!
Yes, becouse he said that he was in aple store it must be true.
“Yes, because he said that he was in the Apple Store; it must be true.”
Fixed your comment for you ya stupid f**k.
these comments are a lot more funny than that comment lol
this reminds me of dwight schrute so much i can’t even.
Haha total win!
I want to marry this person. Male or female I don’t care.
This is Chuck Norris worthy
TL;DR
equipped. not equipt. our country is so sad.
plus it’s lame
Of course I read this as soon as I watch some Mission Impossible episodes on Netflix [sponser!] That is amazing.